I really don't know what's wrong with me. I wish I knew, really I did. It's the fact that I know who I am, I know what I am, but still I hide it from the world and even from myself.
I was going to write this in a way where it appeared everyone had the same view I did, but since I don't know how everyone feels about the situation, I will just write on my view of the situation.
I just wonder if other authors do this, and I find myself doing it often from time to time. When I get to procrastinating or lose my drive to write during the night, I go back and read comments from old stories. Also, since I got into the habit of leaving author notes at the end of my postings, sometimes I go back and read those too.
I really wanted to wait before I posted this until I understood it myself, but that is probably never going to happen. I don't think I have the mental capacity to wrap my brain around the issue and part of me is hoping that as a collective group we can come up with at least some theories why I am so fucking worthless that I deserve all the shit that comes my way.
I really do miss posting stories. I miss reading comments and I miss seeing my kudo count rise as I click my story page 10 times an hours to see how things are progressing. I live for that sort of validation and I'm getting absolutely none. (Okay, maybe a little as one of my beta readers builds me up).
I didn't mean to do it. It wasn't my intention. In fact I didn't see it coming. But talking with someone last night they said they were reading over my work and it made them cry. I don't think there is a greater compliment then bringing tears to someone's eyes, especially when the scene isn't a sad one.
I have two new cover designs for God Bless the Child and wanted to get people's opinion on which one they like better. One is very similar to what is already up and one is completely new. If you don't like either that is a vote also, but you can't like both because that is unhelpful. I thank you .
I have mentioned the desire of doing this for quite awhile, but I finally had all my stories taken down from fictionmania. Normally I don't like to post what I do on one site on another, but I thought this was appropriate because I know of several authors who cross-post to both sites.
I wanted to explain my reasons and the final straw.
I have this great idea to put little postcards advertising my book in with my Christmas cards when I deliver the paper next week. My issue? I don't know how to format so the front and back side line up. Is anyone here proficient enough with Word/open office to format something like that for me. I want 9 per page so I can cut them out and put them in the paper (2.5x3.5). Thanks in advance.
My other blog should be taken down since I am posting two in a row. I shouldn't have posted what I did and then vanished, not very cool of me. To recap, my mom posted this on Facebook:
I know I haven't posted a new story in quite some time, and believe me it is a lonely, unrewarding existence. But I am still slaving away at the next great novel. It is turning out to be quite the project and I keep plugging along. I hope it is good. I am putting a lot of work into it and it is a departure from my normal fair. Sure it is emotional and hard hitting, but my characters actually have supportive, stable home lives. I just topped over 100,000 words and haven't gotten to the first climax yet. My fear is that the end of the book is going to be like falling of a cliff.
Good news. I changed the price on my two e-books down to $2.99 so people who are in a bit of a budget crunch can be able to buy them. I know times are tough and the holidays are upon us. I would lower the price of the print book, but I can't. You can only go so low with paper. Anyway, I'm hard at work on the next novel and will be back to posting other stories on the site soon. But, until then, enjoy what I have up or buy a book. I could still use a few reviews for Growing Up Jenny and as soon as Wren is done editing... I will make Finding Jenny available.
I have left Growing Up Jenny on the site in order to get some reviews on Amazon. I know that you had to have at least made one purchase on the site to leave a review. But, if you already got that far and already read the book on this site (or if you haven't, why not do it now, it's going to be removed Jan. 1st) why not leave a review. It helps drive traffic to my book and I haven't sold one yet this month :( (makes me a sad panda).
I pulled God Bless the Child from the site like I said I was going to. I hope no one is upset at me, but I did feel it was necessary since I am selling it as an ebook. I did leave the comments in place instead of unpublishing it, because I like have the discussions available for future generations.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about where I am going with this GID stuff. Actually, I haven't, but I do have a few thoughts about what I want to do.
I had to pay over 500 dollars in repairs to my van this week (New radiator, then new water pump and a wheel hub) which I actually had. But, it seems that all my bills are due this week. Another 400 dollars. That means I have about 100 dollars in the bank and it will run me at least 150 to put gas in my van. This is what happens when you live paycheck to paycheck. I was saving money, but with the unforseen repair bills, I am screwed.
I've been watching this for weeks, wondering when it will happen. But, THE DRESS PUNISHMENT is now my second most popular story by hit counter, finally taking the place of The Christmas Diary on my top 10 list (God Bless the Child Title page is still number 1 but may be misleading). So good job for a story that is 8 or 9 years younger than it's sister and was written on a whim, and I still don't know who O'Henry or what a shaggy dog is.
I have generously left God Bless the Child available even though I have it available as an E-book on the various sites (I prefer Amazon). I will be pulling it down next Monday, though plan on leaving the comments in place. I just want to give everyone an opportunity to read it again, if such is your desire. Also, I wouldn't mind some more reviews on Amazon (or sales for that matter). I will follow the same plan for Growing Up Jenny and Finding Jenny. I don't want to seem unfair, but I am rethinking my position in life.
One of the novels I love the most in life is Les Miserables. I've read both books, the abridged and unabridged, saw the play on Broadway (which is the only place to see a Broadway play), owned the cd, watched the pbs special from O2, and take a lot at any movie that comes out (one is due on Christmas).
Just to let everyone know, God Bless the Child is now available in paperback. It did take forever and a day to get it available from createspace, but that might have been me. I still have no reviews for Growing Up Jenny :( I know I had tons of people read it and would really appreciate a review. My goal is to always get to 10 (I only have 9 on GBTC which is :( ) Anyway, you can view my author page on amazon at http://www.amazon.com/K.T.-Leone/e/B009HL529W/ref=ntt_athr_d... take a gander.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
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Calimesa, CA 92320
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Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.
