I often wondered why I had to go through a lot of the things that I did. It seemed that the universe thought that I was some cosmic joke and used me as it's whipping boy. Between abuse and a lack of permanence, I thought that chaos reigned in the universe and there was nothing I could do about it. I hated myself for complaining about my life, because there were others that had it way worst.
I used to hate my life
I don't anymore and I hope this could be an encouragement to a few.
I have to admit, I can't figure life out. I've tried, and every time that I think I know something life sneaks behind me, kicks me in the seat of my skirt and runs away laughing maniacally.
The release of the new book is going smashingly well. Oh my God, I might actually be able to make it as a writer. I know my writing isn't for everyone and I rubbed a few people the wrong way (still wish they would accept my apology, I'm not the same person I was 6 weeks ago).
It's me again. I know I haven't posted a story since Christmas, but that's because I've been working on a doozy. I have another epic novel planned and that got me thinking about my other epic novel that is still available on this site even though I am selling it on Amazon.
First off, the cheap plug that today is my birthday. I am 38 and 1 depending how you look at things. This will be my first birthday as Katie and that's something to celebrate in and of itself.
Someone had offered to be my editor a while back ago and I wanted to take them up on the offer but couldn't find the message in my inbox. I have converted a different kind of life into a novel and will put it on Kindle, but it needs one more solid edit. Any takers?
Last week my van broke while I was delivering Sunday's paper. Not a good thing to happen, but what followed was even worse (See JennC I used the right one). Someone from another center came to help me and he added to my frustration by driving extremely slow and talking negative the whole time.
I do apologize for doing this. I know that a few months ago I changed my nickname from Little Katie to K.T. Leone. I didn't know that my life was going to spiral into control (see what I did there?) and that I would actually transition and be so immersed into being me so quickly. I have decided, that since I am so fully committed to being the real me that it is time to drop the damn initials. At first, K.T. was a clever way to make people say Katie anyway but gave me an out. If I introduced to myself to someone as Katie and they gave me a sideways look I could counter with ...
I know I have been on this kick for quite some time (for me 11 days is an eternity), but I can't stress how much it has affected me that I've come out. I am relaxed, I am at ease, I am comfortable. I am me, and I am happy. I haven't been happy for a long time, so most of you might not know I have the emotion, but I do.
I know I have rubbed a few people the wrong way with my bluntness and the way I approached things in the past. Probably most of them have me on ignore and won't see this, but I will put it out there anyway. First off, I wanted to say that I am sorry that I offended you. I will do my best from here on out to be supportive and nurturing. It is not my place to criticize and it is certainly not my place to judge.
So I've been keeping everyone up to date and just maybe I can help people who are kind of in the same situation as I am. I came out to everyone, and I mean everyone. Were my problems solved? No. I find that my emotions are all over the place as I enter a world where I am no longer wearing the mask of my male self, a person who didn't really exist except for the comfort of others who tried to label me male.
As always, I appreciate the support in sales, but also, if finances are tough, I can always use the page liked, the tags checked and nice, honest reviews. The book is still available on site (but it is so much easier on the kindle, I promise).
As everyone is aware, about two weeks ago I received a phone call from a friend who was in dire straights and in need of a place to live. I had been homeless and wasn't about to let one of my friends suffer the same fate. The problem, he knew me as Tiny the wrestler and not Katie. Figuring I knew what his reaction would be, I decided I need to die to self and put being female on the back burner while I helped out.
The free give away has been a rousing success. I mean, I am floored. I have had over 600 people download God Bless the Child while it was being offered free on Kindle. I want to thank all of you for going along with me on this.
Here are some things I have learned.
1. The transgender community is really supportive of itself. I know I had people here download the story, but also people from various TG facebook pages really got behind me.
As everyone who has been following my blogs lately knows, an old friend from high school has come back into my life and is living with me along with his fiance while they get back on their feet. In doing so, I had to sacrifice my life as Katie, mainly out of fear at how they would react to the fact that I was really a girl and had deceived him when I was in high school. I was willing to make that sacrifice. I wasn't thrilled about it, but I was willing. I deleted all my bookmarks that would have given any clue to my true nature.
Starting Christmas and running until the 29th, God Bless the Child will be free on Amazon for the kindle. I still believe that this is one of the most powerful TG stories ever and would appreciate if you downloaded it, if for nothing else but to show your support and appreciation for my continuing to post stories on Big Closet. You don't need to own a kindle to buy the free book, there are free readers available for android and the PC.
It is with deep sadness and regret that I have to inform the Big Closet community that we lost another one of our members. I have just been informed that Wren Phoenix has passed away. I know she had been sick for quite some time with heart problems, but was eager to get back into the swing of things.
It has happened again, so maybe it's time to stop thinking that it is a coincidence. This is the second time in 2 weeks and it still gives me hope that I can pass.
I really do try to keep on top of my writing. You can ask those part of team WAM that I normally stick to my schedule. BUt I am too heart broken to even try tonight. How can I not weep for the loss of innocence today? I have always been emotional, always quick to shed a tear, but some things just break my hear more than I can bear.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
Space 80
Calimesa, CA 92320
USA
Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.
