If you hadn't noticed, I started posting a new story, but I am having some issues.

Here is my problem. I think the story really should be a stand alone story. I think it would work better that way. The problem is that length has gotten the best of me and I haven't even finished writing the whole thing yet. I think in the end it will be under 30k words, but feel as if that may be too much for one post (I think post should be kept under 10k and usually strive for 5k). Maybe its because I view Big Closet more like a magazine than a library though.

I went to see my lawyer this morning, really just to sign the motion for him to get the case dismissed. The state came back this morning with another offer, removing two of the charges against me. I decided to not risk 15 years in prison and instead settle on 6 months probation. The probation doesn't have me attending any classes or effect my life in any way other than to mail in something every month saying that I am alive.

Okay, so here is the deal. I got off the phone with my lawyer not too long ago. There is an offer on the table. But I think I must remind you of the case first. I am being charged with not registering three email addresses, which I am legally required to do because I am a registered sex offender (took a plea because someone used my computer for something nasty and didn't want to spend 650 years in federal prison). Two of the email addresses don't exist, one hasn't existed since prior to having to register email addresses and the other never existed at all (at least not by me).

I tried my hand at a little erotica and transformation story, but I don't think my writing ability in that area was able to pull it off. I like the concept of Orgasmicur and was wondering if someone would like to attempt fixing it. I never saw a person transform while masturbating in a story, but it intrigues me.

Upon opening the blog you should have heard a trumpet and balloons should have floated out of your computer along with confetti. If those things didn't happen, I am sorry that your computer must be defective and you should mail it to me and buy one that works the way I think it should.

I have come to the point in my life when I really don't see the point in going on another day, another hour, another minute. On the horizon, I don't see even a chance of happiness, or joy, or peace, or contentment. There is no one that I am close with or close to, and I don't really see that changing at all. Any trust that I have ever had in humanity has been squandered. I simply wait to see how the next person is going to take advantage of me, use me, and then discard me like the worthless item I have become.

I mentioned earlier that I bought a pair of hoop earrings. The one thing I wasn't prepared for was how heavy they feel. It felt like my earlobes were about to drag on the ground. Is this normal? Do people get use to it? Maybe buying at Walmart wasn't the best idea. I want to get some that dangle, but I often temper things with not wanting to push the issue of gender with other people.

So yesterday I shit myself and I sat back (after I cleaned up), and said to myself "At least things can't get any worse"

I was wondering if anyone was willing to move Finding Jenny over to Fictionmania for me. I no longer have the files and my computer is so slow it would take me forever. Thanks.

Today I just got the transcript of when the detective interviewed me for not registering my email accounts (long story that I am not going to go into). I notice several point of contentions. One is the existence of emails that I haven't used for 15 years and are most likely inactive (like my yahoo account from 2002). I stated several times in the interview that I did not use them (I didn't mention was that the last time I did use them was prior to me having to register them).

In a few weeks I go for my first appointment for HRT. I am anxious about it, but feel that it needs to be done. My therapist is under the theory that I won't know what my next step after HRT is until I am actually on hormones and I'm inclined to agree with him. There are a lot of hindrances in my journey, mostly my concern about how other people will view me and if I'll be labeled a freak. But it is still a step.

I need to start collecting something or starting a hobby, but I don't know what so I was hoping for ideas.

I use to collect Christian Music CDs but with the internet and downloading, that has gone to the wayside. I wanted to collect awards for writing, but I haven't gotten one yet. But now that I have the house, it needs something with personality.

The weirdest thing happened and it might be one for the record books.

I was having some stomach discomfort the last few days and was feeling really sick. Normally I don't go to the doctor's office but things were getting really bad and I decided I better get checked up before I keel over and die.

After a few test I discovered that I was seven months pregnant, and here I was thinking that I was just getting fatter. I don't know how it happened... I mean, I have a penis and everything still.

I suppose it was bound to happen. Nay, it was destined to happen. In fact I've done it to myself on purpose. In a little over a month's time I am set to begin hormone therapy, if I decide to go through with things. I purposefully set a time in motion for HRT as sort of a way to "put up or shut up" and it looks like shut up is about to win out.

I felt like sharing a little bit before I go away. Lately I've been having a lot of dreams and remembering them, which really isn't that odd for me but I know some people would be envious. A week ago I had a dream that my Aunt was back living and approved that I bought a house. I was more worried that since she was officially dead and I spent the inheritance, she didn't have anything to live on monetarily (though she would always be allowed to stay with me). Anyway, that's not the dream I wanted to talk about.

First off, real life back story or the dream won't make sense.