Sydney Moya

(c)2014-All rights reserved

Jan has struggled with her gender identity all her life and has finally decided to take a path leading to being a woman. She must inform her loved ones though and it won't be easy. This is her story

Sweet Dreams-56

Chapter 56

*Before…

Alex looks at me when he gets out. “You okay?”
“Yeah I’m just having that kind of hitting me again.”
“What?”
“That actual feeling of home?”
“You are home.”
“But it’s still something that I never really got before Alex; everything else was kinda just a squat. I’m having that full on thing where I had no idea I missed our bed so much until I climbed in it tonight.”
He smiles that soft little secret smile of his…that one that’s only partway on his lips but all the way in his eyes and I sigh and tilt my head up to meet him as he leans down to kiss me and we do that for a while before we end up snuggling up together and actually sleeping.
I missed that too…curling up with him and spooning.
It actually takes me the better part of three quarters of an hour before sleep overtakes me.
The rest of that time I was just sort of soaking in that feeling.
Home, safe and loved.

*And Now…

X-Why-Me?… Chapter 19

Chapter 19

*Before…

It didn’t matter, it really didn’t matter…she was really debating too on letting Kira know her own little secret but…not right now…not after everything today and this.
Kira was really scared because Emily could feel her shaking as she kissed with her.
She broke the kiss and looked Kira in the eyes.
“It doesn’t matter.”
(Sniffle.) “It doesn’t?”
“Nope, not a bit you’re still the most beautiful girl in the state.”
Kira gave her this; a little teary but really amazing smile.
“You’re so amazing Em.”
Emily shyly smiled back.
“Ditto beautiful, Ditto.”

*And Now…

Images 55

Chapter 55

*Before…

I kiss him again. “A day off, a real day off.”

He’s actually grinning. “Yeah, and there’ll be more I promise. I’m not working my way away from my family not when I just got them.”

We head upstairs and I’ll admit it…I’m happy, I’m choked up because he really gets it…family, those you love they come first. This is the way that I want to live my life.
This is the way I’m going to live my life.

*And Now…

Heart ofthe Beholden.

The Parchment Chapter 4

*Before…
“My good fortune for meeting a lady of integrity.”

Oh…I look at him as he moves up and he goes from holding my fingers to walking and holding my hand but in this kinda fantasy way and he guides us to the hostess.

It feels…

It feels like all that stuff that I was scared and being nervous about from before but just in a whole new way…like the butterflies I had somehow changed colors inside of me or something and I’m feeling all my clothes and the way that I’m dressed and the way that I’m breathing and it’s not bad but it’s just so….

I don’t know but it’s a good thing…he knows and we’re still cosplaying and yet there is part of me, part of Jade that’s being led to our table and she’s…I’m…

I know it’s not like right but I feel like Mulan when people found her out and it didn’t matter.

Oh…and it’s really nice in here.

*And Now…

Heart ofthe Beholden.

The Parchment Chapter 2

*Before…

I almost get to the door when my heart pulls me back and my whole sense of fair play kicks in. I reach down and I pick up the tube and it’s made up to look like a scroll case and I put it in my shoulder bag and I head out from the Con to my room and get changed into some regular just hanging out lounging clothes and I order some room service.

Then I’m just sitting there in my Hello Kitty sweatpants and my Gungrave tee-shirt with my cards and comics looking at the scroll case.

Should I open it?

*And Now…

Heart ofthe Beholden.

The Parchment Chapter 1

I fall onto the hotel bed and I let out a big sigh and a squee and hug the pillow. I’m here at my first Con and I’m super excited. More than excited because I can really be me here and I’m free from the shitty stuff in my life.

I’m adopted and while that’s not a bad thing and my folks are kind of cool they’re just really kind of normal and my hometown is really, really kind of normal and I am not.

Super not.

Well for one I’m Chinese. Yes I’m one of those adopted out of China babies. Two I’m a girl. Well I’m a girl on the inside.

Where nobody knows.