Girls play with dolls, boys play with soldiers. Later, girls watch romance stories, while boys chose action movies. Soon, boys stick with boys and girls with girls. If you see a child acting different, it could be a sign that it is not 100% male or 100% female. All of us have a little drop of the opposite sex inside us, known as Animus (the man part of a woman) and Anima (the woman part of a man). Some will only have a desire to become the opposite sex (in their fantasies or only in their intimacy). Others will go further, to hidden cross-dressing.

About real love: Love is the foundation of the Universe. In every plant, in every animal, in every bird, insect, fish or even worm, you can see the smooth fabric of love. Even in rocks, in water, in stars and in air, love has pierced its roots. We are made of love and we should spread this love around us.

Real love must not be confused with sensual love, which is only the result of our flesh and nothing more.

The Book Before The Earth

Young ants do have wings, but adult ants cut down their wings, to force everyone look like them.

Ancient saying

Janet took a deep breath to calm her nerves as she stepped through the rear entrance of the vast supermarket. When she was younger she never imagined that she'd be starting work as a lowly checkout operator at the age of 42. But then, she also never imagined that on her first day of work, she would pin to her chest a name badge that read 'Janet' instead of 'John'.

This chapter is dedicated to a 60 years old female doctor psychologist, who revealed me that I am a sfenist, around 2003. She opened my eyes and helped me rebuild my life in a new way. And not only me. Many people were helped by her over time. She died around 2016. May peace be upon her soul.

The author

If you ask a bee, it will show you all the flowers and the beauties in the garden. If you ask a fly, it will show you all the garbage and the excrements. A bee cannot see dirtiness, just as a fly cannot see the beauties.

How To Open Your Eyes

How is to be a transgender?

It's like the reaffirmation of yourself. It's the birth of the real you, that waited hidden inside. Lots of emotions. But it also is pain. The pain is not from surgery and other body transformations, but from other people, who don't understand us and oppose to us: parents, friends, even ordinary people on the street. I don't know, but maybe we suffer as much as you do, sfenists. The main difference is that you were transformed against your own will, while we decided on our own.

You are not guilty for what you did, but for the way you did it

Winter has come and the first snow falls on the mountain villages. Nicotiana and her Atan stay on the railway platform waiting for the morning train. He will get to work at the mines, while she has other plans. The train comes. They hug and go each one to its own job.

Atan's Story

"Bye, Nicotiana!" I say as I get into the old wagon.

"Bye! Take good care of you!"

How is to be a sfenist?

Pain. Just like watching your death. Just like Vesuvius destroyed Pompeii beyond recovery. But the real pain is just starting. Those who survived the volcano lost all they had: the ones they loved, their homes, their fortunes. They had to start a new life and rebuild all... but as a different life... if they ever recovered.

A sfenist

Everything has a shadow and that shadow is the only thing you have when you are alone.

Legend of the light shadow

Smoking And Pantyhose

Part 1, Chapter 1

If everybody walks the same path, find another one. If nobody follows your path, make sure you are not lost.

The Wiseman

Photo Courtesy of Myrtle Beach Safari,

Friday was my appointment with the doctor. I can’t describe the stress of lying with my legs spread and my feet in stirrups while a total stranger examined my crotch. It was a little comfort that the doctor was a female. She examined my genitalia, fondled them and photographed them. She assured us that the surgery would be minor, but would require an overnight hospital stay. She said she preferred that I talk to a counselor, but my mom and I convinced her that it was unnecessary. I was surprised and happy when the surgery was scheduled for only a week from that day.

Sunday was a lazy day. We spent some time exploring the “servants quarters”. The place was separate from the main house, and was more spacious and luxurious than most homes. We turned on the air conditioning to get rid of the stale smell. Lisa claimed a bedroom. If her and her mom decided to move in, I didn’t see any reason they shouldn’t stay in the main house. It could house 10 to 15 comfortably. Lisa claimed the room “just in case”.

We drove through the tree shaded roads of River Oaks. Most of the houses were about the size of apartment complexes. Gradually, the mansions began to give way to just large houses, then average sized houses. We also began to see a few service stations and other businesses. We were out of River Oaks.