Now in early December, our latest game is a tough fought 74-70 victory and our next opponent is expected to be a bit tougher. Some of our players were down with the flu days before this game. I am getting more and more comfortable as Jenny but now I’m worried I will come down with the flu next.

My development has been nothing extraordinary for a regular woman, but I’m enjoying my maturing body as well as learning about living as new me. I often lay asleep at night thinking about how things have changed or exploring. Cassie once interrupted me, knocking on the door and saying, “You’re talking in your sleep.” She is amused but somehow understands my dialogue between Brian and Jenny. She says, “Anne is one of the few who understands when I say that Jenny’s been around longer than most people realize.” But we both know I didn’t know or understand that for a long time.

Sometimes things get frustrating, I get caught between other women wanting to help me with makeup and fashions and other women wanting to teach me their ways. Some of the women want me to minimize my use or makeup, wearing skirts and more, while others are encouraging me to go totally natural. The latter is not happening, though I have a nice complexion so I can go without makeup when I choose.

Dr. Heath continues to encourage me not to use breast forms and take pride in being a healthy young woman. My hair has grown out enough to put it in more styles that I like, even my French braid is softer and more to my liking. Cassie and I have separate rooms in our suite but we share a bathroom. Jim and Mike Conley’s sister, Cassie is now my best friend who has a history of knowing me. We can spend hours talking about the past and present.

Cassie has fun taking old pictures of me and drawing on more hair, making up my face or using paper cut-outs of women glamorously dressed or not. It is surprising to me that Cassie is only mildly surprised that I am now a girl. She asks, “Do you remember when you’d come over and my brothers weren’t there? And eventually, you became one of my practice partners. You didn’t mind their little sister getting you to play basketball. When you were a senior in high school. I even wanted to date you. I could already beat you in basketball sometimes. I think we helped each other become better players. Your hands are smaller than most guys and you do better with the women’s regulation basketball.”

Cassie brushes my hair aside with her hands, “Even then when your hair was long I thought your eyes were beautiful. You said you were uncomfortable when people said that. I thought that was silly but Jimmy said you were teased about that before I knew you.”

I become uncomfortable again, she asks, “Can you tell me about it?” She brushes my hair aside as she waits to see if, I’ll talk. We go out to the common room in our suite and talk in a more casual setting. We both have a bottle of vita water. My feet are curled under be sitting next to her on a sofa.

She takes a hand as I begin to talk. I go back in my mind thinking of a time one of my mom’s friends were over and mention my eyes with my beautiful long eyelashes, “They should be on a girl.” It had been mentioned before but that time I ask, “Why can’t they be on my eyes?”

Evelyn hugged me, “They can but they are beautiful. Girls would love to have beautiful eyes like that.” I turned to my mother and seriously asked, “Can I be a girl? I already have three brothers.” Evelyn and my Mom both hugged me and I was smothered in what they called their bosoms.

Cassie is listening, I know she’s interested. I feel kind of silly but push that thought aside. When my Mom said that was impossible. She was nice and said, “I love you as you are.” Mom had tears in her eyes, “There aren’t going to be any girls in the family.”

The conversation went on for over an hour. Cassie finally said as we were ending our conversation. “I know you’re mother loves how beautiful her daughter is. I too love her beautiful daughter.” Cassie gives me a hug and becomes passionately warm. We kiss each other on the cheek.

We both knew Anne had sometimes entered the room. She was going to leave but we said she did not have to. She is in the room but hasn’t talked.

I’m overly sensitive about how I felt about Cassie. Cassie says, “Relax Jenny, we’re both in love with you. We know you need the time and space to be you. Try and let us or any other woman just be a special friend for now.”

I say, “You both know that I think like that?” They both smile and affirm yes. We talk some more and it is a special night I will always remember.

The next day we have good basketball practice and we’re taking showers when a player screams and then laughs. “Jenny, you are bleeding!” I am initially afraid, until Heather and Anne assure me, “It’s a girl thing, relax.”

I’m quickly taken to the training room and Dr. Heath is called to confirm that I’m in fact having my first monthly visitor. Not earth shattering for most women, but it could confirm for me that I’m indeed a woman. Unfortunately, university officials need to take not only blood samples, proof it is mine as well as having an independent doctor to verify my period. The condition does help to justify a mood swing on my part and well as my gender. It is not fun wearing by a first feminine napkin. As Dr. Heath warned this one is going to be strong and messy.

I’m rooming in a three-bed suite with Anne and Cassie. While I was showering, Anne came in and shares she has something to give me. She asks if it is okay to give it to me at that point. When I say yes she steps forward and gives me a big kiss. I comment, “I thought that is not allowed since I’m a client and she officially works with those doing the research program.”

She tells me with a smile, “Since you’re officially a woman, my place in the program is now over.” Casting aside the need to worry about how we relate to one another. I pull her in and give her a big kiss. I stop as I realize it is Jenny kissing Anne, not Brian.

She shares she is not gay as I have easily noticed but I do find you hot. “It is something that has happened with me once before when I was in high school.” We finish our shower, get ready for bed and we’re back out in the living room. Cassie asks, “Are you quiet for the reason I suspect.” Anne laughs saying, “I don’t think so.” Cassie asks her about my lipstick and when Anne goes to wipe her lips and I mine, Cassie had us.

Cassie says, “I am not your judge, but I don’t like secrets, especially where it concerns one of my best friends and another sharing the suite.”

Anne says, “We’re not in a relationship but yes I gave her a big kiss.”

Cassie said, “Someday I too might dare to go outside the box. I don’t want to have to justify it, nor do I think you should. If you want to bed her a kiss won’t do.” We’re both like two deer in headlights until Anne gets up and takes me into her room. I do not expect to be in bed with her. Until she closes the door, and I ask what she’s doing?

She laughs at me asking, “Why did you come with me?” As she gives me a kiss she’s talking me out of my robe and baby doll nightie. When I take off her nightshirt, I find out she already has no panties on. I begin to kiss and caress her. She gets me on her bed and draws me up to her. She massages me with her fingers. She enjoys bringing me into an orgasm. I have experienced one before being fully a woman. She uses my body to take her into an orgasm. Come morning I wake up in her arms.

She has a separate shower from Cassie and me, and we both showered there. When we were going to eat, Cassie asks that night stay in our suite.

It was after breakfast when I called mom with the news about my period. She’s happy for me but has news of her own. Her health is acting up again and she needed to go to the hospital in NYC to get checked out. Due to her health history, even small things can be complicated. She tells me to stay in college and keep up my studies that she would inform me if needed. Between education responsibilities and not being on good terms with my dad I stay at the university.

Saturday we have a game away at Indiana State, PA. It is late in the first half when Coach taps me to go in. While I do okay in handling the ball, but she’s upset with me for not taking a shot when two were open to me. It is late in the third period and I’m again in the game. My defender sure I’m not going to take a shot, plays me loosely. I put up a three-pointer and it goes in. I have one more shot from the field and two from the foul line. I finished my first game with no misses and 8 points. What had been a close game we win 76-63. The next three games I make another 9 points, about 7 assists and I’m even credited with two rebounds. Mom sends me congratulations via email as Cassie has relayed the information.

Again my joy was my school work. The courses are not easy, but I end the semester with “3 A’s, a B+ and a B”. Dr. Campbell sends a note through my academic advisor that I’m to take a class in feminine literature the coming semester. She wants me to join the University’s Ambassador’s Club but has some requirements before that would be considered.

We were 10-2 going into the Golden Apple Holiday Tournament. A victory at the tournament is considered unlikely. We as the eighth seed have Connecticut as our opponent in the opening round. We’re given rooms for one night as everyone expects our early exit. Coach has scheduled an extra two nights at my hotel just over an hour away.

Connecticut is short one of its starters and another’s rumored to be playing with an injury. Since their players even to the fifteenth person could be starting on most other teams; it is not seen as a big help, just worth noting. When we got to the Madison Square Garden and were warming up I notice a guard not expected to be injured player only takes one shot in warming up. I share that with Coach. She quickly comes to the conclusion that she’s not going to play unless need be.

Coach gathers our team and asks and underscores, “I want all of you prepared to start fast and to keep playing our best game whether we jump out to a lead or quickly fall behind!” We do start with a 10-5 advantage and are ahead 21-14 later in the half. But we falter and are behind by a point 40-41 at the half. That is not bad. Once in the locker room at halftime, I’m taken aside by another of the coaches and told to be ready to play in the second half. They will use me to relieve Anne or at the small forward spot. They want me to jump and press as much as I can as a guard or forward. I’m to keep my hands in the face of those I guard if they get the ball and to steal the ball if possible.

It was seven minutes into the third period that I was sent in. When the guard tries shooting to take advantage of my inexperience. I’m not faked by her moves and three times when she tries to take a shot I get a piece of the ball. Twice her blocked shots lead to turnovers.

When Anne came back in and I move to guard one of their forwards. I knew I’m supposed to keep my hand in her face but I have an opportunity and knock the ball away from her. I turn the first opportunity to a steal, basket and foul. Another time I turned to a fast break with Stacy. We’re sporting a 67-61 lead as I come back out. A few minutes later I’m put back in the game. I’m being asked to feed Cassie. I have the knack of being able to feed Cassie in a way that gett her moving in a fluid motion.

Once I throw the ball to Cassie and she throws it right back. I step back and launched a 3 point shot. It not only went in but I was fouled to make it a four-point play.

My player was walking back up the court so I helped Stacy press her player and she’s able to make a steal and we pass the ball back and forth. Stacy scores a basket and a foul shot making the equivalent of a 5 point swing. Quickly Connecticut is down 82-74 with time running out. We finished with a nice 88-79 win.

Public relations for the tournament are now touting us as a Cinderella team. We did beat a good Boston College team despite not playing our ‘A’ game, 56-49. We have a day before facing Rutgers. Rutgers is also rated in the top ten of the nation, but more importantly, they’re healthy. Our mixed game causes them some problems. While we played a good game, our 67-64 loss is not quite that close as it looked.

As part of my Feminist Literature class, I read The Red Tent. I share about the book with Coach. I throw out a crazy idea of using the concept of a ‘red tent’ to bond a team of women playing together. She likes the idea, though she is not sure if much response will come from the players.

We are to be playing against Syracuse and the next night against Niagara University. Coach thinks that would be a good night to try the idea. We have two adjoining rooms fixed up and dimly lit in red. We had a pole but with no expectation of people using it. We lost a close game to Syracuse and now have our fifth loss.

Most of the gals change into very casual night clothes and we’re in the room. They think the casual time is neat. It is Anne and Stacy taking me up to the pole that gets things moving. I’m in fact having my period and Stacy is massaging my back as Anne is leading me in a meditation. She has me rub against the pole and has me move against the pole in a stimulating motion. The pole is well marked as Stacy leads me away. She led me not to sleep, but to a cozy set of blankets in a corner. Another gal is already at the pole and 5-7 are there some point during the night.

Stacy gets intimate with me and I begin to show the affection back. Cassie comes over and the two of them enjoy their way with me. I wake up wrapped legs and arms with Stacy. Cassie is with another team member. There is a consensus that there is more closeness in the red room and we should use it again. It is agreed that the room is a highly confidential setting.

The next time will be when we would be playing Virginia and Pittsburg Universities back to back. It is at Virginia and we’re expected to lose. Sally’s presence on their team is an added incentive to play well. It motivated us to win a 63-49 game. We play well at Pitt but a few errors and fouls cause us to lose a close game, 68-69. We would finish the regular season 24-6.

Our goal to begin the year was to make the Division 2 final four. We enter the playoffs like some teams a bit banged up. We do not as much depth as most teams. Someone like me playing is a testament to that. Kendra is playing injured and her sister Dominique has been bothered by a bad ankle or shin-splints most of the year. As we went to Cleveland for the second round, the style of our game and fouls we caused changed the game to our advantage. South Central was our first challenge and if successful a tougher Cleveland State was our next opponent on their own court.

Anne was flattened and injured late in the first half by contact that had me irate. Three of our players had 2-3 fouls already. I was sent in to provide a bit of relief and take some fouls if I could. I was able to get their muscle player to commit her second and third foul. I aggravated their point guard into a foul that she worked into a technical foul. I played more in the second half using up all of the minutes' that Coach would allow me. I scored 10 points, but it was the 5 rebounds, 6 assists, fouls by our opponent and forced turnovers that were what the Coach used me for. We did come back to win the game.

Cleveland State brought a strong team in all phases of their game and they knocked off AU the previous year. They were again favored to win and go to the final four. Anne was tripped up late the first half and our momentum was lost. She was back in having her ankle rewrapped. She had a shot bounce off that was going out of bounds in the corner when I made a desperate attempt to hit it back in play. While I landed in the seats I was successful in hitting it to Cassie who quickly made a basket.

I am hurt but stay in the game. On a play coming down to our end, I steal the ball away and start a fast break to Stacy and score. We’re down to the closing seconds and we’re down two points. I set up Cassie to tie the game, but she quickly sends the ball back to me. I stepped behind the three-point line and let a shot go just before the buzzer sounds. While I’m only credited with a two-point shot, I’m fouled on the play and with no time left had a chance to win it. Cleveland State took two-time outs to make me nervous. The reality is they helped me catch my breath and I’m more relaxed. I make my shot and we, not Cleveland State, are going to the final four.

The following week we’re off to the final four tournaments in St. Louis where our opponents would likely be Dallas University and Chico State. We will be going with only a contingent of ten players and two extra held in reserves.

Our big players were playing injured. Cassie confides in me that it is the most exhausting season she has ever played.

Coach Jessica has us in the Red Room and is giving us a pep talk, mingled with a bit of strategy. She’s proud of us. “If you don’t win another game as long as you leave our best game on the court I will be fine. But if you do play your best we should be playing the last minutes of the championship game with a chance to win.” Coach Jessica asks for the whole team, injured or healthy and especially the seniors year to commit to playing our best.

Though most of us have not heard about Dallas University they’re noted to be talented, strong and play a tough game. The last adjective should have been a rough game. Coach shares with me she was raising my playing time to 15 minutes each half. I am now glad Anne had run me so hard the past summer. She and I are in as good of shape as any two players taking the court.

Cassie visits with me about how she wants me to feed her and to also look for Marcy across the court. Dallas is an outright physical team and few fouls are being called. While I’m not terribly big I can play a tough game. During the first half, I only score two baskets but acquire 8 assists. We hold a two-point advantage but are effectively down to seven players. We are well into the third period when I am back in the game. A shot by Marcy and a missed rebound by Cassie is going out of bounds. Their player sought to block our reaching it, but I’m able to get around her and hit it off her foot. We kept possession and soon make another basket.

It is so stimulating to me how intense women can play basketball.

Moments later Cassie blocks a pass, and it too is going out of bounds. This time I’m able to throw it back near our basket and Cassie puts it in. I’m still on my back lying in the end bleachers, banged up. Luckily there is an official time out called.

But in the middle to the thousands of fans, I hear a familiar voice encourage me “Come on Jessie, Brian couldn’t have done that.” It was an uncle’s voice but I had not known of any family coming to the game.

Coach wants to bring me out but I am too wired to sit down. She just warns me if she takes me out it’s her decision and I’ll need to live with it. I agree, “You are our Coach!” I am hobbled a little but run and keep up. I can press or do as needed. It is on a fast break by Dallas when I again rise to the occasion. One of their big players is taking up a shot, but I block it on her way up. We both hit the floor as the ball hit us, but she is now out of bounds. With a minute left and us holding a 3 point lead; Coach brings me out of the game. Cassie, Marcy, and Kendra rule the inside and Stacy and Anne cover the guards as we win, 83-78.

It is at the end of that game, I first sit down on the court and take it in. Being in a big-time game, hearing the crowd and knowing we played well. I never thought growing up I’d actually be in such a game. I find as Jenny, I am more in tune with my feelings and stopping to enjoy such at the time.

=^..^=

I search the stands as two different cousins catch my attention. The three of us came together. Ruthie Kerr and Barb the daughter of the uncle I heard. We agree about a place to meet after I’m showered and out of the locker room.

Coach wants me to help scout Chico State, but I’m given leave when I ask to first meet my cousins. I want to help scout, but family is as rare as an endangered species for me. I am sure the coach feels it is important for me.

There are my uncle and cousin from Jersey and five cousins from Iowa. We go to dinner and I try to get my own tab for the meal, but it is not to be. I had to ask Uncle Tom not to squeeze my hand holding my meal check. “Uncle Tom, I already let go of the check. I need that hand to play basketball." He was still treating me like a nephew. I have not seen the Jersey relatives in a year and a half. Ruthie and the Kerr family I have not seen in a decade. I’m not sure why I recognized Ruthie. We finally agree she looks a lot like her older sister, which I remembered better. We have an enjoyable time and I am finally able to show off some of my family to my teammates.

Uncle Tom says that Jenny not only has Brian’s spirit, but she has talent and instinct all her own. Barb follows Ruth and me to the restroom. I simply say, “Yes, I'm all girl.” Barb burst into laughter. I invite her up to my room for a close-up and personal look, if she wants. We exchange phone numbers so we can go shopping sometime the next day. We’re back to the arena to catch the last of Chico State’s impressive win. Luckily we’ll pick back up two of our players and be at 12 players strong.

Come the next day AU is becoming known as good ambassadors of the game. We’re courteous in public and take extra time in meeting younger girls and their families. Being sociable, we’re also good at getting some guys interested in watching us play. I get to eat breakfast with my family early. I have practice with the team and an early afternoon shopping with four of us, Cassie, Marcy, Anne and me.

I did get a half hour alone with my uncle over a cup of coffee. He has me talk with my grandmother on the phone which is a special treat. I am tickled that Nana accepts me where I am. She’s tickled that we’re talking again.

The other side of the family joins Marcy, Anne and I going to church. I also go to Mass Saturday night with Cassie and her mother.

We were in the final four and now in the championship game. Anne is playing the best basketball of her career and Cassie is playing more like a senior than a freshman. Cassie has brought her medical studies with her. We leave the Red Room so I can help her stay up and in her studies.

Some California TV stations are carrying the game because of Chico and Philadelphia and more are carrying the game because of us. So the championship game is on some prime stations in several big media areas. We’re given less of a chance to win than Dallas, but even the announcers state that Chico State should not count us out. Our mixed style holds them in check to a 24-24 draw so far. Then they’re seeking to extend their lead at 38-34 when Kendra left her position and intercepts a pass. She makes a long throw to Stacy put us within two at 38-36. We take a 43-42 advantage into halftime.

Most basketball teams at this level, have a player in numerous close games and many other important games that they go to. This is all new to me as a player. Nor am I use to the emotional rollercoaster of being a girl.

Anne is held on a play early in the second half. And in her frustration of no foul being called, collides with the player. It is seen as an intentional foul and Anne is put out of the game. Maria our other senior guard is put into the game. She’s fast enough to stay up with their guards and handles the ball well. But she’s neither much of a shooting threat nor strong in this game on defense.

Cassie plays all but a minute of the second half. Kendra, Stacy, and Marcy each play over 30 minutes of the game. I’m shuffled in at guard and forward. Once Anne is out, Stacy has to play the rest of the game and I’m playing more. We’re down 72-75 with 2.30 on the clock. They have the ball but as I knock it away, I trip and cannot cover my steal attempt. They shoot a long three-pointer to take a six-point lead. We’re able to exchange baskets plus one and we’re back to within two points with the ball and six seconds. Stacy’s shot went off the basket rim and Kendra could not control the rebound. Time’s up and we lose a heartbreaker.

I go up to Stacy lift her and swing her around. When she asks what I’m doing, I simply state, “We played our best and I am leaving this one on the court. We need to get ourselves back here next March.” I sit down on the court and she joins me on the court floor. A few Chico State players tried to chase us off the court, but our teammates come to sit at our side. We’re respectful of Chico State, but we didn’t like their attitude or style of play.

I openly stated we would beat them in another year. Marsha Miller a reporter from Philadelphia is covering our game and she asks about my comment. She’s asking, “Are you not being a poor loser and disrespectful of Chico State.

I state, “That is not my intention and I know they have players as good as ours returning, but I feel we play better as a team. They’re a team of very good players but I don’t see them playing as a team.” Luckily that statement does not get much press outside of Philadelphia area.

Coach asks me later not to comment so much. I ask, “Do you disagree with my assessment?”

She answers with a question, “You have adjusted fairly well this year in becoming you. Do you think what you know about all about being Jenny as you might?” The air goes out of me, but then Coach O’Malley says, “I like how you and the team would not diminish how you played and how you calmly showed.”

We get time with our families that night and the next day until we fly out just before noon. We do not expect any reception so we’re more than impressed with the hundreds that show up. The town, as well as the university community and even some supporters from Philadelphia, come to a reception held for us.

Story to be continued…