Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1846

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike)
Part 1846
by Angharad

Copyright © 2012 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
-Dormouse-001.jpg

It was nearly bedtime when Sammi called me to go to her room, she and Julie had been looking through Marple’s files and had found that he liked a particular sort of pornography.

“I’m not sure I want to see this,” I protested, albeit half-heartedly.

“Wow,” said Julie staring at a computer screen.

“Okay, is someone going to tell me what all this is about?” I took one look at the screen and backed away. “Ugh, I’ve read about these sorts of things,” I didn’t want to see any more of the pictures.”

“Looks like he enjoys people weeing on each other,” said Julie.

“They call it golden showers,” I said standing well away from the computer.

“So he’s going to enjoy meeting your barrister again, then?”

“I doubt it.”

“Yes he will,” Julie insisted.

“How come?”

“’Cos Kit will piss all over him.”

I tried to keep a straight face but it was difficult. Sammi roared with laughter. “Quiet, Danny’s asleep next door,” I hissed at them.

“No I’m not,” he called back.

“Well you should be,” I hissed at him. That set the girls off again and I had to hush them once more.

“What d’you want to do with this?”

“Nothing, it’s disgusting.”

“I could transfer some of it to his bosses computer, if you want?”

“No, just get rid of it.”

“What about this bit?” Sammi asked.

“It’s not more disgusting pictures is it?” I asked ready to turn away.

“Yeah this one’s got a horse in it, you ever seen the size of a horse’s donger?” Julie said laughing.

“I’m well aware of the anatomy of horses.”

“She’s pulling your leg, Mummy, it’s some correspondence between Marple and Cortez.”

“What sort of correspondence?”

“Marple is complaining he can’t pay and asking for more time.” Sammi said, “Here, I’ve printed them off for you,” she handed me several sheets of paper with emails on them.

I read them and it appears that our inspector lives beyond his means, so why isn’t he borrowing from a bank? I asked Sammi to get Simon. He was up with us very quickly. “Sammi said something about that dickhead Marple.”

“Yes, darling, he’s in hock to Cortez.”

“You’re joking? He’s got to be on at least thirty grand as an inspector, he lives with his mother–so where’s it going? And why isn’t he borrowing from a bank?”

I showed him the emails. “What’s this last one? ‘Services rendered in lieu of a monthly repayment–he’ll write off half the loan if Marple could deal with the snotty bitch who injured his enforcers.’ This is serious stuff, babes.”

“Can we do a credit check on him?” I asked Simon and was the reason I asked him come.

“Yeah, give me a tick.” He turned and ran down the stairs and ten minutes later he appeared with a sheaf of papers. “No wonder he’s borrowing money from Cortez, he’s in serious shite.”

“Explain, please?” I asked him.

“He was turned down by three banks to increase his overdraft. It looks like they won’t loan him money because he’s got no collateral–it also looks like he’s sold his mother’s house without her knowing and that could be foreclosed any time.”

“What’s he spent it on?” I tried to look at the papers he had in his hand.

“It looks like he’s either a gambler or he’s being blackmailed.”

“He’s into kinky sex.”

“Could be that then, but there’s a regular payment to a bookie’s of five hundred a month.”

“Bloody hell, that’s more than Daddy spends on the lottery,” I gasped.

“What? He does a lucky dip on Saturdays–silly cow.” Simon sneered as he corrected me–I was joking, oh well.

“What do we do next?” I asked him.

“You’re in luck–guess who’s about to repossess his house?” Simon’s face lit up.

“Not Cortez?”

“No, it is not Cortez–he wouldn’t repossess it, he’d just start cutting his fingers off.”

“Well who then?” I asked loudly and got hushed.

“You’ll wake Danny,” accused Simon.

“No you won’t,” Danny called back, “Can I see the dirty pictures?”

“No,” Simon and I shouted back, “Go to sleep,” I added.

“So who is going to call in his mortgage?” I asked.

“We are,” beamed Simon, “I’ll teach him to falsely arrest my wife.”

“What about his mother?”

“I’ll get them to drop her gently on the pavement.”

“Si, this isn’t funny, if she’s elderly she could die from a shock like this.”

“Yeah–it happens.”

“You can’t.”

“Just watch me.”

“Please, please don’t.”

“Cathy, he tried to mess up your life and ours with it. He’s a total shite and he’s got it coming.”

“But his mother hasn’t.”

“So, there’s always collateral damage–if he had any regard for her, he wouldn’t be in this position would he?”

“I don’t care what he feels about her, I don’t want to pick on her. Are we entitled to have this information?”

“Yes–well I am.”

“But I’m not?”

“It’s easily available if you know where to look; James could have got it for you.”

“I think it’s time to have a word with the chief inspector. Does it show he’s paying Cortez anything?”

“About seven hundred a month to JCHoldings.”

“Who’s that?”

“Cortez.”

“We’ve got him then.” I’d won this stage but it felt Pyrrhic. Was he involved with the fire at Edith Howse’s place?”

“I suggest you get the chief inspector to come and see you and have Kit with you, you obviously can’t show him the emails but if he’s got any gumption he’ll be looking for connections. I would say that Inspector Marple’s career is over–the pension gobbler strikes again.”

What Simon suggested made sense. Marple was going down whatever else happened, he’d be imprisoned for his cooperation with a money lender, and that he could be charged with false arrest and perhaps be implicated in the death of Mrs Howse, meant he was in serious trouble. To be fair, once the police begin to investigate themselves, it gets rather bloody.

“Have we got anything on Cortez yet?” I asked Sammi whose fingers were dancing over the keyboard.

“No, nothing illegal–I reckon he’s got another computer, according to this he only earns twenty K a year.”

“Oh well, if we can find it, we’ll be able to pass it on to the Inland Revenue.”

“Now a tip-off to them, or Customs and excise about VAT non payment and they’ll be all over him like a rash.” Simon was smirking.

“Couldn’t happen to a nicer fellow,” I said. “Perhaps if Marple squeals loud enough, he’ll implicate Cortez in the fire and the police would have a chance to go through his office. Then they could call in the revenue and customs.”

“I’m sure they will if Kit steers them that way, but we have to get Marple to tell about his link with Cortez apart from owing him a lot of money. I’ll call him tomorrow, if he comes round first thing you can brief him and don’t mention the hacking, just the financial statement.”

“Why not?” I asked bemused by his instruction.

“Because it’s illegal, and as an officer of the bar he’d be obliged to declare it.”

“Okay–just this then,” I said taking the papers from Simon’s hand. I suspected I wouldn’t sleep very well that night.

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