Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 3441

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The Weekly Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 3441
by Angharad

Copyright© 2024 Angharad

  
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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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I went in early to my office; I couldn't sleep. I was trying to plan a battle against something I couldn't see and they weren't likely to tell me. Henry had come back to me after consulting friends in low places, not his favourite occupation but good to know he has them and to know they may act to pre-empt anything happening to Laura.

I had gone through the files and found her file which had very little data in it, so we were keeping it safe or secret or something. We did have a safe, but to make it doubly secure it can only be opened during the working day, i.e. between 9.00 am and five p.m., although my day often runs to much longer hours as do many folk, and like today some of us will have been working for a while by 9.00 a.m. I am one of them. Anyway it means that someone can't be forced to try and open it after hours, like in a sort of abduction of staff or families. It has occurred before and being related to one of the richest families in Europe increases the risk. It has happened before when abduction has been tried, and I was to open it when at the Billie King's Centre, when the object was to kidnap or kill me, and an undercover agent for the security services saved my bacon. She was pretending to be a student but she acted courageously, taking out most of the gang, but she was armed and very dangerous.

MI something or other had got wind of a plot to abduct or eliminate me and she stopped it almost single handed, checked I was okay, told me I was lucky and explained why and then disappeared.

It seems because Simon could be affected by any abduction of his family we 're treated as special, like some politicians. He's head of the retail bank and they carry quite a lot of our money, they also contain many papers, etc. in their safes or vaults, some of which are very valuable and some are stored secretly and because they're secret I don't know anything more about them, secret, get it? Doh!

By the time Diane came in I had dictated loads of letters and so on and was just nodding off in my chair but a cup of tea, dumped noisily on my desk, woke me and I was nearly able to pretend I was fully awake and running on all cylinders. It wouldn't have worked she, had spotted me dozing before she made the tea. I asked her to get a message to Laura as quickly as possible to come and see me, to talk to no one and be wary of strangers.

"Oh dear, it's hit the oscillating thing has it?"

"No it's hit the rotating air wotsit, according to a reliable source, hence my attendance at an unearthly hour, or I'd have rung her earlier."

"Just as well I came, then."

"Look here my good woman, are you contemplating an occupation as a thespian?"

"Who do you think I am? Mrs Worthington's daughter?"

"As in Noel Coward?" I shot back.

"The same, wouldn't have thought you were old enough to get that one, anyway it's lesbians not thespians we're trying to avoid, innit?"

"Spot on, keep that up and I may let you make some more tea."

"Usually you tell me that I have just about saved my status as an employee."

"That's a given this time."

She muttered something sarcastic as she left my office but my phone rang just as she did and I didn't get the benefit of her humour, most of it impertinent, doesn't she know who I am - yes, which is why she said it.

I answered my phone only to find it was an enquiry from one of my staff and for a moment I considered it was unrelated to threats to my department, but it wasn't. This time I was awake and reassured my colleague that there was something funny about my phone this morning. I suspect it was being tapped, which without permission in the form of a warrant, is highly illegal and very naughty.

Diane came into my room a few moments later and I told her very quietly, the phone was tapped. She nodded and said she had used the Batphone. "What are you talking about?"

"I went out of the office and called her on my mobile."

"How do you know, they haven't got listening devices all over the place."

"This is a group of TERFs we're talking about not the CIA, how are they going to acquire such things and how are they tapping your phone?"

"I had Esmond to lunch yesterday."

"We had chicken."

Sometimes I think this job has turned her mind, then I realise she's a natural halfwit.

"I said to lunch, not for lunch, there is a subtle difference."

If her tongue starts flicking in and out of her mouth al la Anthony Hopkins, I'll start to worry. It didn't, so I knew she wouldn't make a meal of it or me, besides, I'm probably too tough or full of poisonous chemicals, or E.coli or something. Apparently, lots of rivers have above permissible amounts from either sewage or farm run-off. It reduces the risk of drowning if you fall in a river, you die from poisoning of one sort or another. This country has gone to the dogs, but the Tories seem ignorant of it. Just as well that they are about to lose the next election in a few days time. They are all ignorant if not stupid and should all be dumped in a river...oh anywhere, they are all verging on lethal.

"She should be here in about twenty minutes, I'll send her in, though shouldn't we sweep the place for listening devices?"

"With what? "

"There's a brush and pan in the kitchen. I usually use something like that for sweeping."

I pointed at my phone and put my finger over my lips. I turned it over and the screws looked recently scraped, as if being unscrewed by a screwdriver of the wrong size. I pulled a set of little screwdrivers from my desk and began undoing them. Neither of us said anything, but when I separated the bottom cover from the rest of the phone, there it was in all its glory, a listening device. I quickly removed it, did the cover up again and offered the set to Diane. I had dropped mine into the quite hot cup of tea and hoped that was enough to neutralise it. A few minutes later she returned with a similar item, only she had stepped on hers rather violently. I didn't consider it was as inventive as my method, which proved that tea is good for you.

I nodded, picked up my phone and went outside to the bathroom, pulled the flush and rang James. He asked if I was trying to reduce his fee but offered to come and sweep our offices and also Tom's. I flushed the loo again and warned Tom what we had found. I told him James was coming and to leave the removal of any devices to him. He said he was off to a meeting for a couple of hours at Southampton so his office would be available. While I was in the loo, Laura arrived and asked where I was. She was told I was in the loo making phone calls. I think she still thinks I'm a bit strange.

I told Diane to forget the tea, we'd go to the refectory. There, there should be plenty of background noise, plus I'd had no breakfast and could deal with the inner woman at the same time. I was told to bring her back a croissant. Honestly who's in charge here?

Laura was not surprised we were under attack again but didn't realise how bad it was going to be. She said something about only men read or make phone calls in the loo. I showed her the now-defunct bug from my phone and she winced for a moment. The refectory was quite busy and very noisy and we managed to secure a table away from being overheard.

"So what have I got to do?"

"Get home as quick as you can, call in at the travel agent on the way and go to friends. Go before they can discover you have gone. Call me at home, I'll get James to sweep the house for devices but I think it's clear, but we'll make sure. Only tell me you are safe, when the heat dies down, you can start doing your course online, you can get a scrambler for that, they are not cheap but I think will be worth it. It will encrypt everything."

"I feel I'm running from a fight."

"The word is they are fighting dirty and want to humiliate you or play for keeps."

"What they want to kill me?"

"Not to put too fine a point on it, yes. Now go and get yourself lost but with friends, it's safer, but only with ones you can trust."

"Okay, thanks for helping me, what are you going to do?"

"Fight a rearguard and also scatter as many red herrings as I can as well as invite the security services to take part. I want this to stop, permanently, and seeing as you can't help who or what you are, don't take any unnecessary risks, they are downright dangerous and probably don't brush their teeth twice a day. So to be avoided at all costs. Go." She grabbed her handbag and ran off while I wandered back with a box of cakes aware that James would want one as well as Diane.

My office was clean as was Diane's, we showed James the two bugs and he shook his head, but we discovered another in Tom's phone and another more sophisticated one in the switchboard. The girl told me that someone from BT had called just before she left on Friday. They'd had some problems with the phones and they were now working fine. Shows how easy it is and thank goodness it wasn't Russian hackers who are apparently being protected from reprisals by Putin's government. He's also threatening to pull out of nuclear treaties. To me it seems that every day we step closer to war as he keeps pushing the boundaries and will one day receive a rather violent response. If that happens, our current situation will seem rather cosy, but he keeps trying to provoke a reaction.

While we were talking about Laura's situation a man from MI5 and a Commander from Special Branch arrived, it seems they were both involved because Henry called in some favours, but also reminded them his family were very important targets and if the bank went down, so would the country. I suspect they were well aware of this. They knew James or of him, I introduced him as my odd-job man, which got a laugh all round.

Then it was dealing with Laura's situation and how had the university been infiltrated by a faux telephone engineer. Apparently thay all knew how to cause a temporary problem with the phone system and then get access to plant all sort of devices. James told them it was just the one and showed it to the MI5 chap, who said he'd only seen one before, in America. It made sense if we are under attack by fundies and TERFs from that church Simon destroyed before, they would use what was easily available.

Apparently, they were monitoring via GCHQ any messages from the US that used any of a set of special words. After this it seemed rather simple, any mention of the bank, the university, or Laura had given a few leads. James almost tutted at the exceptionally poor response by the security services, who defended their actions as having some leads, where was his research taking him? He told them seeing as I'd called him this morning, they had a head start on him, they both smirked at that, apparently unaware that I had first called him on Sunday and he had been beavering away ever since. I managed to stop the boy's pissing contest and suggest we all work together. We all agreed but knew none of us would but perhaps some exchange of information may happen, probably by accident. However, they all decided my advice to Laura to go abroad as soon as she could and lay low, was the right thing. I wonder where we went next, I suppose the enemy will make the next move and I hope we make the right response, time will tell.

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Comments

Diane got lucky

Wendy Jean's picture

In that she found someone who is experienced in the espionage and dirty tricks business. I can't say heads will roll, but someone is going to get what they deserve.

Its a good thing

That tom is in charge, and cathy is able to drop the right phone numbers noww and then. If anyone else was in charge, they would have drop kicked cathy out as a trouble magnet long ago.

Discretion

joannebarbarella's picture

Is the better part of valour. There is no shame in a strategic retreat in order to live to fight another day. Checking out the enemy's plans and resources first makes perfect sense. They will have weak spots to exploit.