The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3476 by Angharad Copyright© 2024/2025 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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I was disgusted by the UK government for two reasons, they are cutting a large number of jobs from Natural England and increasing their workload and responsibility, they are the quango charged with ,maintaining the environment. Seeing as they can't cope now, reducing their size and increasing their work amount doesn't sound like a good idea. But then this government is more Tory than the Conservatives and says very little about the environment except where they can exploit it or avoid planning laws. The PM and Chancellor I wouldn't give house room to.

The other thing which is pissing me off is that a report has suggested that we should all be made to declare our birth sex on official documents and research data. The report written by some nutty professor somewhere is a year late and doesn't take into account that transgender people who are living in a preferred gender are less than 0.5%, which is very small and one reason why Trump and his ilk are attacking us. I suspect that this is the same thing with the UK government, who have made several hostile statements and actions in recent months. If they looked at statistical analysis the margins of error show that a figure of 0.5 % wouldn't affect their data at all. It's just some clown of an academic talking off the top of their heads or more likely their arses.

While I'm complaining about government why are they penalising the poor when they could raise their revenues by taxing the super- rich, most of whom are complaining that they'd leave the country. In which case confiscate some of their ill-gotten gains before they go and stop them coming back unless they pay large sums to the treasury. I see the only ones benefitting from Trump's chaos are the very wealthy who will always make money, while I believe the price of eggs and various other foodstuffs are even dearer than they were during the election, and something Trump pledged to reduce in cost in his first weeks of office. I'm astonished at the gullibility of US voters especially given him to be a convicted felon, a sex-offender and a known liar. If George Washington couldn't tell a lie, Trump couldn't tell the truth to save his life.

I vented my spleen as Diane brought in my first cuppa of the day, she asked me what was wrong and I told her. "Isn't that what the Tories did to the Environment Agency before we had all this problem with sewage in rivers and lakes?" she asked and I explained that was why I was cross with the government.

I tried to explain the statistics hoo-ha and she couldn't see why the government were talking about birth data. " I mean we can't ask if people have serious illnesses or what gender they are so what's it all about?"

"I suspect it may be more subtle way of erasing trans people. Trump has declared war on them because he's unable to deal with subtlety, like he is with truth. This country is more cowardly and does it by stealth, rather like they have destroyed biodiversity. I think it's just anything American happens here a couple of years later, and we're still in a mess over Brexit, because the British are just as dumb as Americans, wanting to register a protest before they thought it through. Remember, Gove and Boris and Farage told huge lies during the Brexit campaign which a halfwit could spot, but even Churchill recognised democracy doesn't work, his evidence the average British voter. In future elections, Reform should be in loony bins and those who vote for them in psychotherapy. They should have to successfully complete an IQ test before they are allowed to vote, drive and reproduce."

"Aren't you just as bad as those you're complaining about?"

"No, I'm a progressive fascist."

"Oh, you had me worried there for a moment." She put my mug down and went back to whatever she was doing before, which for all I knew was reading the latest Reform Newsletter, you can tell it by the spelling mistakes in the headline. It's no use at all because the paper is too hard.

I went home and Danni reported the police had been there again asking if we knew some bloke who died a couple of days ago. I called James and asked him what it was all about. He seemed to think that the police were inherently lazy as well as inefficient and that if we weren't involved which we weren't, that if they pestered us enough we'd find out who was behind it. I asked him if he knew and he replied that those in the know were whispering MI6 and whistling quietly pretending they said nothing, because no one wants to mix it with the SIS unless they have a death wish.

"I thought they were supposed to operate abroad and MI5 were the domestic service?"

"Like most you have been watching too many James Bond films, MI5 couldn't catch a cold and MI6 are all psychos."

I gasped at his conclusion, "Why are MI6 involved anyway?"

"You asked them to help, remember?"

"Did I?"

"You complained about no one doing enough to stop the drug gangs. They acted killing a load of teenagers and one or two of the big fish."

"Hang on, the voice I spoke to didn't identify where he was from." I protested my naïve innocence.

"I told you at the time not to get involved with them, they were ruthless."

"Does that mean I'm responsible for all those deaths?" I felt awful.

"The big fish , yes, the youngsters usually end up killing each other in the end, so you just escalated the inevitable." I felt awful, had I caused the deaths or what?

"What will happen now?"

"The buyers will go elsewhere for their highs."

"You mean another supplier?" I was in another world here and felt lost.

"Yeah, there's plenty of them. But there is always the risk of bad stuff being circulated and some of the morons who buy it will be either ill or die. These guys are as ruthless as SIS."

"What should I do? Can we just withdraw to a safe distance and keep quiet?"

"If the police think you were involved then the drug gangs will think the same, so I'm not sure you can just withdraw."

"How about I get the bank to sponsor a rehab unit? Would that help?"

"Individuals maybe, but you are a marked woman so is Meems."

"What did she do, they almost killed her."

"It's seen as it all kicked off after she was targeted, so she is vicariously responsible too."

"God, this is like the bloody Russians again." I muttered.

"No, they are definitely worse, think SIS with funny accents."

"I'm trying not to in case they pick up my thoughts and this time get us."

"The intel is they aren't involved, but they are supplying fish to Britain via different routes as we slapped a tariff on their fish bought directly."

"Why don't MI6 sort them out then?"

"Who says they aren't."

"Goodness, the world is in a mess isn't it."

"Yep, trust no one."

"Does that include you?" I joked.

"Definitely," he chuckled.

"Ready for a refill?" asked Diane, "I've just put the kettle on." She grabbed my dormouse mug and went back out. My head was spinning what was I in the middle of? At least MI6 shouldn't be after me, so that's one lot of psychos out of it, but could they be watching us to catch more of the drug gangs, using us as bait. Should I ask Simon about hiring some body guards, although the last time I did that, she got killed. I remembered the incident in London very clearly. By the time Diane returned with the mug of tea I was covered in goose flesh and shaking slightly.

"What's the matter, boss?"

"I had a flashback to the death of a friend." I saw my female body guard as a friend and missed her when she was stabbed in the street, straight through the heart, no chance of saving her. She was probably dead before she hit the pavement.

"Not nice, you okay or should I phone your dad and tell him you've gone home."

"No thanks, but thanks for caring." I blushed but felt I try and have a veneer of normality, if it wasn't how I felt inside. People have seen me after some crisis has passed and they think I'm like Wonder Woman, they don't see me having nightmares and sleepless nights It's PTSD, but I'm not sure I can now go to someone, it's too late. It's like soldiers they send to commit or witness horrible things and then expect them to be fine, after all its what we pay them for. Whoever thinks that should be made to change places with them and see for themselves. They wouldn't of course, because soldiers are trained. Yes, they are trained - to kill. Not to dealing with the aftermath. You kill - it takes seconds. You think about it, the consequences, which can last forever, or as long as you live. More soldiers committed suicide than were killed by the enemy in the Falklands Campaign, Good old Maggie, just another thing she fucked up - that woman destroyed this country and we're still trying to sort the damage she and her idiotic party caused, bloody old witch.

I drank my tea after phoning Meems, warning her that we could still be a target for the drug gangs, especially as they might interpret the attacks against their members as instituted by us and not SIS, who we suspect may be responsible, but we're never likely to get them to admit it and they might say I asked them to do something, so it's damned if I do and damned if I don't, I think they call it double jeopardy. I told Meems to tell the others to keep all doors and windows locked and be careful who they admit. I was aware that we had workers repairing the house after the firebomb attack but most of the time they were being overseen by Maureen and she would spot any strangers except possibly among the glaziers, who were from a window company. Meems said she'd warn Maureen to be alert to the possibility of another attack while there were so many bodies around the place doing various repairs.

I still didn't feel well after my cuppa and decided that the work I was doing I could do from home, I left early at lunch, hoping David had enough food for me as well, if not, I'd have something on toast or a sandwich. I wasn't really thinking about much except what I'd eat when I noticed someone moving quickly around the back of the house. I jumped out of the car and followed, they didn't see me but they were trying doors and windows and I was horrified as a french window opened for them. I rushed in after them and saw him threatening Emily who had come to challenge them, he had a knife in his hand and all I had was my laptop case. I hurled it at his head and as I did he half turned and got smacked across the side of his face. This was followed by me throwing myself at him while he was stunned and shouting to Emily who was terrified, to get help.

We rolled on the floor as he tried to stab or slash me with his knife, which was quite a bit bigger than a penknife. He was a man so he'd be stronger than me and so he proved to be. He shoved me off him and we both rose to our feet, he was so intent on watching me, he didn't see Maureen arrive. She's a big woman and she walloped him once and he went down and stayed there. She asked if I was alright and I suspect I'd find some bruises later. I restrained the would-be attacker and called the police saying we had intercepted someone carrying a knife in the house and I didn't think he was intending on making sandwiches. They said they'd respond immediately.

After our attacker was bound, I told Maureen someone had unlocked the door for him, she went off to see if she could identify his helper, who would probably be making a run for it. One of the glaziers was missing and she immediately rang the company, who were suitably horrified but told her who should have been there. There had been one extra but no one had challenged him, in fact the others thought they knew him. So could he be an ex employee? I'd let the police deal with it, and ten minutes later they arrived.

Of course it was my favourite inspector and he challenged virtually everything I told him. "Very convenient you arriving just as this guy tries it on, wasn't it?"

"No, and I think I may have damaged my laptop."

"Oh dear, poor you, not as if you can't afford another."

"She was grappling with him until I hit him," said Maureen. "I think it was a genuine attempt to hurt someone here and we think we know who let him in, because Lady Cameron had told us to keep all the windows and doors locked."

"So you were expecting it, Like I say very convenient." The churlish and sceptical inspector interjected.

"Oh do me favour and grow up will you?" he shook his head at me. I was going to complain about him, but for now said, "Tell you what we'll let him go and give him back his knife and you can arrest him single handed if it's all arranged, fucking dickhead."

"You called us, remember?"

"I wouldn't have bothered if I knew you were coming, more shit than Windermere," I told him referring to the sewage being dumped in England's largest lake, he went off huffing.