The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3422 by Angharad Copyright© 2024 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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It seemed I no sooner went to bed than I was back in the office again, early this time because I was teaching and I had to do some letters for Diane to deal with. She arrived as I was dictating letters on my dictaphone thing. "Crikey, you're early," she gasped collecting my mug off my desk.

"I'm teaching Henry's class so I thought I'd better revise some of what I'm going to be saying. Thankfully John, is one of the better techies and we've got lots of slides of various insects."

"What microscope slides?"

"No, some were taken through a microscope, but only a low power one. We have one we can plug into the projector system, but we already have the micrographs of some of the smaller ones and showing things like gills on mayfly larvae. It may keep them awake. I have one of a plastron, which I talked to them about yesterday. So I don't know whether they'll get the idea or not."

"What's a plastron or shouldn't I ask?"

"It's like a physical gill made of very dense hairs which carries a bubble of air in it and helps insects to stay underwater for longer. In one of the bugs Aphelocheirus it can stay underwater for days.

"Bugs, yuck, you can keep those, I'll stick with my letters, I presume that's what you are doing?"

"Yep, have to keep you occupied. I've done ten so far."

"Wow, I'm impressed, you must have come in very early."

"Shall we say, I enjoyed myself teaching, expanding minds and corrupting them, it reminded me of what we're here for."

"When are you taking them pond dipping so you can be an adolescent again?"

"When it's a bit warmer and drier, beside this wind could blow the hairs off your legs, save you shaving them, properly this time."

"Hark who's talking, Mrs Neanderthal."

"There are two cakes in the kitchen, when you make some tea, help yourself to one."

"Now you're talking," she went off to make tea. By the time she got back I had dictated three more letters and did another two, drinking my tea and eating my Chelsea bun. Then it was looking over what I was teaching in an hour's time.

Goodness, it went quickly and before I knew it I was nodding to John who was running the cyber stuff for me, it's better than me trying to click the remote button and John actually knows some of this biology as well, so a good accomplice to have with me.

The students arrived and seated themselves around the lecture theatre. When they had settled down I nodded to John and we put up the first slide with the magnified plastron. One or two were still awake or good at guessing because they almost knew what it was.

I showed them a diagram from Chapman's book showing how plastrons worked and some insects have a macroplastron with longer hairs over the normal one, also they could erect the hairs of the plastron to hold more air. And some insects have special combs on their legs to keep the plastron tidy to make sure it works. It was at this point that we had an outbreak of silliness.

The slide and diagram I showed were of a beetle called Elmis - can you see what's coming? Of course I mentioned this and got the quip, "Oh, prof, everybody know Elvis wasn't one of the Beatles." I hadn't seen it coming and there was uproar for several minutes before I could get them to calm down again.

I then was asked if a Beatle cut was a sort of plastron? That set them off again and once more I tried to restore order, but as soon as we had Elmis, a beetle about 4mm long, or mention of a beetle, they were all off again. I knew that anything I said was going to be ignored so I soldiered on with a few more slides and then set them a chapter to read on aquatic insect respiration before finishing twenty minutes early and having a coffee with John.

Neither of us had foreseen the Elvis and the Beatles joke coming and we laughed heartily at the humour of it. So they may remember the genera of one native beetle for the wrong reasons, but they may just realise what a plastron is, and it isn't a Beatle cut.

I had a call from Andy Bond who told me informally that they had made an arrest for the attack on the young woman in the park, the one with the toddler daughter, and a suspect was in custody and bail had been refused. "Well, are you going to tell me who or is it top secret?"

"The suspect's name is Vince Donkin, though I didn't tell you that, though it'll be in the papers tonight, they found enough DNA on her to fill a tea cup, and all of it was his. There is no way he'll get off this time, for which the people of Portsmouth will be celebrating. He's been implicated in about three serious sexual assaults, but because they didn't collect the evidence properly, his lawyer got him off. He won't be able to walk from this one, there's enough forensic evidence to wrap him up like a Christmas present."

"Good, when it works, it works well. Now when can I visit the mother and find out how her little girl is?"

"I heard she's doing well at the moment, though don't know anything about the little girl."

"Okay, I'll phone the hospital and see if they'll let me see her, see if I can help her financially, if nothing else."

"Okay, I'd better go. I didn't tell you anything, okay?"

"Tell me about what, Sergeant Bond?"

"Nothing at all, Professor Watts."

"Goodbye," I said and he rang off. In walked Diane at that moment and she said she had seen that they had charged someone with a serious sexual assault in the park over the road.

I nodded, "Good."

"That's the one with the little girl you rescued, hope they convict him and the poor woman can start to get some closure and let's hope the little girl won't remember too much about it."

"I think she's too young to have understood what went on, but her mum is going to be upset for a long time. The more I see of this world, the worse it seems to get. It's like the law of the jungle where the strong can do whatever they want, with very little comeback. I mean Putin has killed thousands in Ukraine, Netanyahu has caused over 25 thousand deaths in Palestine, the Chinese dictator has caused many to disappear, there's trouble everywhere and now the stupid Houthis are trying to damage ships in the Red Sea. Then in the States, Trump is looking like the Republican candidate, feeding on all the publicity of his court cases. I hope he goes to prison for a long time because he is a criminal and to think Boris said his re-election would be good for America."

"Shows how bright Boris is."

"They are two of a kind, unscrupulous chancers lying and cheating their way to the top. How can anybody be fooled by them?"

"I thought we had a lot of dumb people here but the Americans seem to have even more of the stupid brigade and the worst thing is they say it's incurable."

"They walk among us, ooh look, we just have time for a quick cuppa before lunch."

"Yes, boss lady, no, boss lady, three bags full boss lady, oh sign these," she dumped my letters file on my desk and went to put the kettle on. 'Boss lady' I'll give her socks, but after I've drunk my tea. I picked up my fountain pen and began reading my letters, signing each one as I finished it.

That afternoon the hospital allowed me to see the young woman who'd been attacked. She still looked very poorly, so I didn't stay long. I asked if there was anything I could do for her.

"You're the woman who found my Leah in the park, in you?"

"I am, I couldn't see any sign of you, so called the police, it was they who found you and got you to hospital and took your little girl to social services. I didn't actually do anything but call the emergency services and had a crafty cuddle with your daughter until social services came, she's delightful."

"They said you're a professor or somethin' at the university?"

"I am, I went to the park to eat my lunch and saw your little girl just wandering. Look, I'm quite wealthy and I'd like to help you and Leah get over this. I hear someone has been charged with the assault."

"Yeah, I can feel his 'orrible breath on my skin as soon as I close my eyes, don't think I'll ever forget it."

"Well, if I can help you in any way please don't hesitate to ask."

"When I feel better, per'aps."

"Of course, have you seen your little girl since this happened?"

"Maybe at the weekend, I doan wanna let see me like this."

"Here's my card, if I can help." I handed her my card and a basket of fruit and a get well card.

Thanks, for what you did and for me fruit an' that."

"It was nothing, now get well and let me know if I can help. I know a lot of people and my husband knows even more, so don't hesistate."

I said goodbye and saw it was too late to go back to work so I drove home and watched David preparing my dinner.

"What are you cooking?"

"Cottage pie."

"I employ a chef to make cottage pie?"

"This is for tomorrow's lunch," he said dismissively, if he stuck his tongue out and yelled, na na da na na, it wouldn't have surprised me, but he didn't.

"So what is for tonight's dinner?"

Salmon and broccoli with watercress sauce and new potatoes, the broccoli is tender-stem and I've saved you some salmon for tomorrow so you can take salmon and cucumber sandwhiches. I've even got you a multigrain wholemeal loaf, and a rhubarb yoghurt for sweet, plus of course some crisps."

"Damn, now I'll spend all morning waiting for lunch, tomorrow."

"That's not my problem, I'd have thought someone in your position would have overcome the instant gratification of adolescence."

"Ooh, a psychologist chef, was that straight out of Reader's Digest?"

"No, it was in your Guardian, actually."

"Just as suspect. For your information I have controlled my instant gratification urge since I was about eight, now I just dream about how lovely my lunch will be. Thank you, Dr Freud."

I made tea for us and gave him a mug, while he continued making the watercress sauce, I went off to my study and noticed a text from Diane. ' Don't blame me, year two had a session booked with Henry tomorrow, in the lab. Have warned John, who says he knows what they were going to do, you should be okay for it, so have booked it, and John.'

Wonderful, now if I drool in anticipation of my lunch I'll have a hundred second years watching me. Diane sure knows how to take the shine off my morning. She didn't say what time and it was too late to try and phone her. Oh well, if I'm in by nine, I should have time to deal with it. I called up Henry's timetable on my computer, we can access the various teaching schedules of all my staff. Oh, he should have been talking about aquatic insects, especially the TEP or whatever they call it, Trichoptera, Ephemeroptera and Plecoptera, or could it be PET, either way it's still Caddis, Mayflies and stoneflies. It's ten till twelve and presumably we'll have live insects for them to observe. I did my learning pond dipping along a railway drainage stream and a pond it created. Only a metre deep, enough to drown in, but with my homemade kit all from 'The Observer's book of Pond Life', by John Clegg. I used that book as an identification manual until it wore out and I discovered better books published by the Freshwater Biological Association. I'm still a member to this day and have a few more of their publications, and if you remember I have John Clegg's larger book, 'Freshwater Life,' given to me by the son of the old man I found lying unconscious in his garden, I raised the alarm by alerting some neighbours, who all thought I was a girl because I had some dungarees my dad got me. They were girl's but he didn't notice and I didn't mind or tell him. But with my changing adolescent body with its burgeoning bum and slight bumps in my shirts, it fitted me nicely as a young woman. Irony is quite common in my life at times.

I got into trouble with Murray over it because my photo was in the paper named as Charlotte Watts. I'm surprised he noticed, probably somebody told him., but our contest for willpower commenced from that day - he trying to embarrass me enough to leave and me determined that I'd do my own thing and he could whistle.

Back to the second year and their lab session, tomorrow, should be fun.