Orphan Petal
September 2023 - Part 3
Shirley decides that he is now a girl. This means also that everyone knows he is a girl!
Doctor Mary
I am the only one that seen what happened in the last part, and it raises so many questions. What was this psychiatrist thinking when she was supposed to help Shirley? It seems as if she concluded from the start that he is transgender and just manipulated him to believe this as well. No wonder why Aunty wanted this psychiatrist. Why did she not ask if all this was to impress Aunty or was it to get attention? Is he doing this because of a girl who has haunted his dreams, and he wants to be as happy as she is? Is this somehow Susan's influence? Maybe it has something to do with his sexuality. He is too young to know what this is. Still, there were so many things the psychiatrist could have asked. It will be interesting to see how manipulated Shirley is and what he does.
Shirley:
Aunty is a nice woman; she reminds me of my mother in many ways. I heard that Aunty does not have children and this is sad, as she would be a great mother. She gives me a lot of attention and sometimes even hugs me or gives me a new toy. I know that she ignored me when I first came here, but now that she knows me, she never ignores me anymore. Susan told me that Aunty only likes me because I am acting more like a baby girl. Of course, I knew that Aunty started giving me more attention since I started changing. Susan wanted to know if this was why I started acting this way. I did not answer why I changed. However, I admitted that I liked the attention that I got from Aunty.
Jason:
I have not bullied anyone for a few weeks now. Mr. Dickens has been talking with me and telling me why people bully each other. There are many reasons why people bully and he told me them so I could think why I bullied others. The thing that made me think was when he said some bully because they have low self-esteem and have no empathy for others. He said it's also because bullies sometimes have some secret they do not want others to know. This is probably true. I don’t understand others and of course, I have secrets. Susan said I would be happy when I try to be nicer with others. I don’t know if this is true but I didn’t want people to think of me as a bully. I wrote a letter to Austin and wrote that I was sorry. I also apologized to Shirley and Susan. I still think they are weird, but I won't give them a bad time about it. One thing I am sure about. If I am changing, I don’t want to change like Shirley did.
Shirley:
Today I made a big decision. I told Aunty that I now considered myself transgender and wanted to be a girl. This meant wearing girl clothes and being considered a girl. Aunty asked if this also meant being a girl at school. When I told her yes, she got me a girl's school uniform. So I have been going to school in a girl's school uniform. The teacher explained to the class that I was transgender and what that meant. Surprisingly no one called me names or teased me. This did not happen when logan started dressing like a girl at school. Only I gave him a hard time about it. They asked funny questions like what it's like to be a girl suddenly and if I still have a boy's body. Jason even apologized to me. Susan said that people were not shocked. I have been wearing a lot of pastel colour clothes and my hair has been in pigtails for a week or so.
Austin:
I am so happy being part of a family. I do miss everyone at the orphanage, except Shirley. I hear he is a girl now. This does not bother me. I do not understand why Logan or Shirley think they are girls. They have a boy's body. Still, I suppose if that makes them happy, then that's the important thing. I think it would be weird wearing a dress. I wonder if Shirley is just being a girl because Logan did. Is it just to get attention? Strangely, Logan told me how mean Shirley was because he was transgender. I suppose if you can't beat them, then join them. Still, I do not need people like Shirley around me. I have been adopted into the best family ever.
Susan:
Shirley is no longer a boy. He is now a girl. Should I start calling him “she”? It will take me time to do that. Now he wears dresses or skirts most of the time. I hate dresses so I told Shirley he could have all my old dresses. He is the same size as an 8 year old so he would fit them. In a way, I liked it when he dressed up in secret. Now we no longer play dress-up games as he always is dressed up. He still is mostly in my room or I am in his nursery. One thing about Shirley being a girl is he looked so much like a girl. This is very confusing to me as I am secretly still in love with him. Is it wrong that I am in love with someone who thinks he is a girl? I suppose we don’t decide who we fall in love with and Shirley doesn’t know how I feel about him
Shirley:
There is one thing that worries me. When I look in the mirror, I can see a girl staring back at me. This assures me that my decision to be transgender is the right decision. It does annoy me that so many ask if I have a boy's body. If they used their brain, they wouldn't need to ask this. Jason also asked me what happens when I enter puberty. I heard a bit about puberty. Your voice becomes deep and you get hair in the strangest places. You can also get a growth spurt which would suit me fine. However, when I looked at Mr. Dickens, I thought he could never be transgender. He would look ridiculous. Would this happen to me when I started puberty? The idea that I would look ridiculous and maybe like a freak scared me. I wanted to stay looking like a girl. I didn’t want to look like a man in a dress. The more I thought about it, the more that puberty scared me. I had to speak with Aunty about this all. She would know what to do. She tried it all with her nephew,
Mr. Dickens
I now had enough of some of the craziness at the orphanage. A lot of it centres around Shirley. He is an 11-year-old boy who is now pretending to be a girl all the time and on top of that, he wears diapers and sleeps in a baby's nursery. The psychiatrist told us that he is transgender and we should support him. I do not think that any of this is natural. A boy should not wear diapers. A boy should not pretend to be a girl. If I told him to stop being a girl, I would be seen as a bigot and someone who discriminates. However, I could do something else. I did this when Aunty came in and said Shirley needed some female hormones. I admit I lost my temper when she said this. I shouted that enough was enough. The whole situation was getting insane. Shirley was not going to get any hormones. On top of that, he is to be moved to Austin's old room. No 11-year-old boy should have a girl's baby nursery. Aunty tried to discuss this with me, but I stood firm. I do not think I am being mean or intolerant. I did not say that Shirley cannot be a sissy. I did not say he had to stop being a girl. I just think he should not be in a baby room. I do not think that is wrong of me to demand. Someone has to think of what is good for Shirley. Children need boundaries.
Shirley
I was told that I was no longer allowed to sleep in the nursery. I fell to my knees and started crying. It was like the end of the world for me. I now am so used to the nursery. It's my safe haven. It's where I could hide from the world. It's where I do not have to worry about growing up. Aunty sighed when I started crying like it was the end of the world and told me I was like a drama queen. She told me I won't be moved for a while and I could still be transgender and be a girl. I was happy about this. Everyone supported me since I started being a girl all the time. More even started to speak with me and want to be friends. Most of these were girls. The boys ignored me or stayed far away from me. Maybe they thought I would make them transgender or maybe even fall in love with them. This did not matter. They did not speak to me before so it made no difference that they didn't speak with me now. I was lucky enough that no one at school knew that I wore diapers. Aunty warned everyone at the orphanage not to tell anyone at the school. The thing is, that I am happy now. I no longer need the diaper girl in my dreams. I am her!
Jason
You will not believe what I did today. A couple came as they wanted to adopt a boy. So Mr. Dickens told them that they should speak with me. This was strange as I was now a teenager and couples usually do not want to adopt a teenager. The couple was very rich and I bet that Mr. Dickens thought they would give a huge donation to the orphanage if they found a son. They seemed like a nice couple and it would be nice to live in a rich family. I could get anything I wanted. I would be a millionaire when I was an adult. I did something that I did not plan. I told the couple that there was a nice boy here that they should talk to. I told them that Shirley is a very special boy, which is the truth. After I told them this, I wanted to kick myself. This could make them think that I was not interested and Shirley could end up being a rich brat. Why did I tell them about him? Maybe I wanted to be nice and show a new side of me. It also occurred to me that there could have been an evil intention with all this. Maybe I wanted this couple to see him in his sissy clothes and humiliate him so he realizes no one would ever want him. Who knows why I have done what I did?
Susan:
We no longer played dress-up games as Shirley was always dressed up. So we played with his toys or his dollhouse. Shirley never wants to play with my toys. I suppose he thinks they are too grown up for him and he only wanted toddler toys or very girly toys. You may think that I am a bit frustrated. I suppose I am. I do not understand why a boy wants to be a girl or a transgender. Shirley has been changing and I am afraid how much he will change. I think it's so hard for me because I have feelings for Shirley. I love him and I do not know what he feels about me. It's like I am in love with a girl and that does not seem right. So today when Shirley talked and talked about how happy he is that he is now a transgender, I stopped him. I told him that maybe it's time he finds a new hobby or something to do. Instead of talking about how good it is being a sissy, he should live life and have some fun. Shirley did not get mad at me. He just smiled and apologized for going on about being transgender and told me I was wise.
Aunty:
I thought that Mr. Dickens would have calmed down now. So I tried talking about Shirley's room. I explained how sad Shirley was and how he cried. I tried to explain that the nursery was not a punishment, but a way to give Shirley the security and safety he needed. Mr. Dickens is a stubborn man. He told me that he could accept the girl's clothes and even the diapers and baby things such as pacifiers and bottles. He just could not accept the crib. So we made a compromise. Shirley can have a normal girl's room for an 11-year-old and keep some of the toys that meant a lot to him. Shirley cried and seemed to have anxiety attacks when the crib was being removed. I told him to calm down. In reality, nothing much was changing. The only change was that Shirley would now have a bed. Shirley managed to start crying and spoke with a pacifier in his mouth, “It does look like a princess bed,”
Susan:
I noticed that Shirley was starting to lisp. He now even sounds like a toddler. As a friend, I tried to help him by suggesting that we try another hairstyle that looks a bit more like he is 11 years old. Maybe a ponytail. I tried explaining that when Shirley was so small for his age and wore pigtails, no one would ever believe that he was 11 years old. Shirley just smiled back at me and said that I forgot to say that he wears diapers. After thinking about it, he said maybe when he is older he would try a ponytail. This made me think that Shirley considered himself a toddler. Does he not remember that he is the same age as me but he now has the mentality of a toddler?
Shirley:
I have thought a lot about what Susan suggested. Maybe I should get a hobby. I am now happy as a girl so I should stop talking about it and living the life. So after thinking about what I could do, I asked Aunty if I could start dancing classes. She was not surprised when I told her that I wanted to do ballet. Aunty said, " That's a great idea as it is something that is a great activity for children and it will give you a graceful body." She did tell me that it would be hard to dance in diapers, So I would need either pullups or panties. This scared me a bit. I no longer felt when I needed to pee, so I was now incontinent. Still, I was determined to dance so I would have to see what works
Jason:
People think that Shirley has changed. He is still no saint. I apologized to him a few days ago because I bullied him and he has not yet forgiven me. I confronted him about this and asked him if he forgave me. Shirley just shrugged his shoulders and reminded me that I hurt a lot of people… especially Austin. I did what I was best at doing. I answered by speaking before thinking. I asked Shirley how many people he hurt when he was a bully. There was a reason why I was so mean to Austin. Then I admitted that I am gay and this is something I am ashamed about. I let all my frustrations out on Austin. When I realized what I admitted to Shirley, I warned him that he was not to tell anyone or even mention it to me. It's best he forgot I even mentioned it.
Victoria Temple
Thanks for reading this part. I hope you will comment. Do you agree with Mr Dickens that Shirley needs boundaries? I hope to see you in the next part of “Orphan Petal"
