Orphan Petal
August 2023 - Part 1
Shirley must decide if he is brave enough to be like the girl in his dreams
Doctor Mary:
My job is to give my views on what happened in the last part. I was shocked at many things. First Shirley was moved to a baby nursery. This seems to be done as a punishment from Miss Hawthorne which in my view does not help at all and is a form of child abuse. I was also shocked that Shirley liked his new room. The question is does he like it, does he want to please Aunty, is he just becoming submissive? If Shirley does like the new nursery then the question is why? Is he regressing? Is there a psychological reason as to why he accepts this? Another thing that I noticed is that he is beginning to ask what his parents would say to his diapers, nursery and when Shirley plays dress-up games. Shirley thinks they will be ashamed of him. Other children are also starting to tease him. How will all this affect Shirley?
Shirley:
I am not used to being teased. All my life, it was me who teased and bullied others. Now everyone is saying that I am a baby. I understand why they call me names and think I am strange. I do wet the bed and this is something I have done on purpose. It's my fault that I wet the bed. Aunty gave me diapers and this nursery because she is trying to help me. It's all because of the diaper girl in my dreams and when I realized she was me. Then I wanted to be her. I will also admit that I was happy when only Susan knew. Now that everyone knows, I do not know what I was thinking. What happens if they find out that also play dress-up where I dress like a girl? I know what I would do if I was them. My life will be hell. Is this something I wanted? Am I brave enough? Should I just be what my parents and everyone else think I should be?
Susan:
Shirley is so sad and at times I have seen him crying. He just sits in a corner of his nursery room with a pacifier in his mouth holding a stuffed animal. I hate to see him like this. I know the others think it's weird that he has a baby nursery. I think the same. I just tell them that this is Aunty's way of punishing him and trying to get Shirley to stop wetting the bed. Shirley most likely started wetting the bed because he couldn't cope with his parent's death. This was just something I made up. It could be true and no one in this place had parents so you think they would have sympathy with Shirley. This was not the case. They bullied poor Shirley just as much. People can just be so mean. It's so sad to see.
Miss Hawthorne:
Aunty and I argued today. I told her that I suspected that she did not respect me and did not think I was capable of doing my job. I reminded her that she was lucky to have a job. She has no qualifications and she has a bad reputation after her nephew wrote his memoir of how he was brainwashed to be a sissy. Aunty got upset when I told him that she was now doing the same with Shirley. She is making him sleep in a crib. The boy is 11 years old! This is where the argument started. Aunty told me that the nursery was my idea. I know I have a bad memory, but I do not remember saying this. If I did, it must be my medication. I shrugged my shoulder and told Aunty she was paying too much attention to this boy. She should remember that other children were here as well.
Logan:
My mother did not believe me at first when I told her that Shirley was now a bedwetter and slept in a crib. Not only that, but he also plays dress-up wearing girl's clothes. Mom had the same thoughts as me. Why did he change so much? Was it his plan to get on our good side so he could move back with us? My mom told me that she did not want Shirley as a foster child again. She did not trust him. She felt bad about not wanting to help a child, but she thought that Shirley had his chance. Mom could not forget how he treated me and even broke my arm. I did not disagree with Mom. A part of me will always be afraid of Shirley. Mom also thought that the radical changes in his personality could be a sign that he had mental problems. She did not feel that she could cope with this and how it would affect our family.
Jason:
I still tease Austin. I am certain that he is gay. We are told that bullying and teasing others is wrong. We should tolerate each other. This is rubbish. What if Austin started flirting with me or any other boy? This would be so wrong! He could corrupt us and try to make us gay. Maybe this is why Shirley was moved because the adults did not want him to be corrupted. Maybe it's because they were already boyfriends and the staff did not like this. Maybe the nursery was the only place he could sleep. The thing is that Shirley did not say he did not want a baby room. He just accepted it. Everyone also knows that Shirley is a bedwetter and wears diapers in bed… or I should say his crib. So all this means that he is just as screwed up as Austin. He is just a baby and does not want to act his age. Taking all this into consideration, I think that I have a right to call Shirley names. It's my way of telling him that I know how weird he is.
Austin:
Being in a room by myself is something I have to get used to. It's also a good place for me to hide at times. This is because Jason and his gang's favourite pastime was making my life a living hell. They want me to admit that I am gay. I won't admit this. If I admitted it, they would get worse. If I denied it, they would not believe me. It's not just me that is being bullied. Shirley gets it worse than me. This could be karma at work, as he used to be a bully himself. I will be honest, I am confused to as why he wets the bed. I also know things about him that others do not. I have seen him wearing a dress. Still, we are all different and everyone has a secret. Why can't people just leave each other in peace and hope we will be happy?
Aunty:
Shirley asked me when he would get a normal bed and when he would get new clothes. He told me that he was being called names all the time. People know he wets the bed and that he has a baby room. He also was afraid that his parents would be ashamed of him. I had Shirley sit down while I thought about it. I told him that he was the one who wore Susan's dresses and liked playing dress up. He wets the bed and the diapers just make things easier. He needs to think about what makes him happy. Maybe he wants to be the person in the girl in his dreams. Maybe he feels more feminine and he should have been born a girl. Maybe he is not ready to be 11 years old. The thing is that I cannot decide who he is and how he should act. His parents cannot decide. Whatever he decides, some people will like it and some will not. Shirley has to be the person that he feels he is and makes him happy. He has to learn not to care what others think. He has to be brave. Shirley was by now in tears and asked me why life had to be so confusing.
Shirley:
It is hard to believe that I changed so much. I used to be normal but now look at me. Aunty gave me a lot to think about. I wet the bed on purpose. I decided to try on dresses. Deep down I want to be like the girl in my dreams. I also like the attention that Aunty is giving me. I like my new bedroom. The person I was was not me. I was not happy. Since I started doing these things, I have been so happy. It's as if I finally feel safe and wanted. Is it bad to be different? Is life about not being happy? I would follow Auntie's advice. This meant being the person who made me feel like I was wanted and felt happy and safe. Maybe this means that I will be like a girl or a baby. It would mean that I would not have many friends, but I never had many friends.
Jason:
Aunty tried to persuade me to be nice to Shirley and Austin. She could have been right when she said that we are all different and the world is a nice place if we all are nice to each other. However, I got mad at her. I told her there is a limit to what the world should accept. We should not tolerate an 11-year-old boy who wears diapers and sleeps in a crib. I could not understand how she could not see this. The world should not accept gay boys. Aunty told me that we did not know if Austin was gay or not. He probably did not even know. This did not matter. I shouted that both boys should be locked up in a padded cell.
Susan:
I have got to know Shirley since he moved here. He has changed a lot and maybe this is his true identity. This does not bother me. What bothers me is that I think I may like him more than a friend. I would love to have Shirley as a boyfriend. Why does this worry me? Because we have a good friendship. Let's say we became romantic and that does not work out. Then we may not even have a friendship. Plus how do I know if he likes me the same way? I think that it's best that I just keep these feelings locked up.
Austin:
Shirley used to annoy me so much. He has changed and the way he wants to be is something I do not understand. However, I do like his bravery and I admire his friendship with Susan. I do not think he deserves to be teased as much as he experiences. Who cares where he sleeps or if he wets the bed? As long as he is a nice person. I made a decision today and that was that he needs a protector. I am strong enough to fight anyone here. I would do my best to protect Shirley from the bullies. It would make me sort of like his bodyguard. This was hard to believe that I wanted to do this. When Shirley started here, I did not even like him. Now I would fight for him. Maybe I was being a little bit selfish. If Shirley gets bullied less, then maybe I would be teased less.
Aunty:
I gave Shirley some new clothes today. They were not clothes an 11-year-old would wear. Maybe a child in first grade. They were unisex clothes. They were mostly in pastel colours. There were no dresses or very girly clothes. Shirley would now have nice t-shirts with pictures of rainbows, unicorns, fairies, princesses and so forth on them. He would have shorts and leggings. Some of the shorts were so baggy they looked like a skirt. There were also panties and sports bras as well as tights and panties. I found some girl sandals and sneakers as well as Mary Janes. Shirley's smile was radiant when he saw them. He said that the colours looked like a rainbow. This made me laugh.
Shirley:
I invited Susan to come in and look at my new clothes. The only comment was that she said she would love to have half of the clothes. She even asked me if I truly liked them. I love the clothes I got. We decided to spend the next hour or so trying them all on. I was having so much fun. I forgot all about the doubts that I ever had. This was when I was sure that I was the girl in my dreams and this is nothing I should be ashamed about! Susan seemed to like the dress-up game as well, although she did give me some strange looks
