Orphan Petal
October 2023 - Part 3
Shirley has a chance to get a new family
(pictures done by ai)
Doctor Mary
This introduction will be short. I have nothing much to say. Last week, I saw a movie called "Annie." If you did not see it, you should. The storyline and the music are very good. One of the songs was “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow." This made tears come to my eyes, as I thought there was not much sun in Shirley's life, and it did not look like the sun would be coming out anytime soon. Still, we must have hope and pray that this experience does not break Shirley's spirit. Shirley has always been strong and had a will of his own. People do have limits, though.
Shirley:
I am no longer allowed to have the toys that I want. I am being told not to be girly and to be more masculine. Now I am told that I am not allowed to do ballet. It seems that no one is asking me what I want. I thought that being adopted would be good for me. However, Mr. and Mrs. Sterling are trying to mould me into the son that they want. They do not care who I am or how I feel. They do not ask me how I feel or what I like to do. They just tell me what to do and what not to do. I wonder if being adopted is such a good idea. Who is it good for? Is it good for me? The Sterlings? The orphanage? I am feeling so many emotions. The main emotion is anger. I am so angry at myself that I thought I would be loved by being adopted.
Nanny:
Shirley has not been in a good mood lately. It is hard for an orphan to settle in with a new family. Shirley is experiencing this. He has to consider people that he only knows for a short time as his new parents. Shirley has to trust these people and, at the same time, hope that his new parents will love him. I can understand Shirley's frustrations. The Sterlings hardly know him. They hardly have time for him. I invited Shirley to my home today, where he can meet my family. I have two daughters around his age, Shirley was shy at first. Then he started playing with my daughters and their toys. They were girl toys such as dolls, a Barbie house, and a dance machine, but Shirley did not mind. In fact, he was smiling, giggling, and in such a good mood. I could see that he was so happy. When I saw Shirley playing with my girls, I realised that I was finally seeing who Shirley really was. I thought it was a shame that the Sterlings could not see this side of Shirley. They have never seen how he can smile and sparkle, and his happiness can light up the world.
Aunty:
Shirley called me today. When I heard his voice, my heart started beating so quickly. I don’t know why. Shirley just wanted to know how it was at the orphanage. He wanted to know if Susan and Jason were fine. He wanted to know if his room was occupied. He wanted to know if we missed him. I kept my answers short. To be honest, I was a bit distant and cold when replying. I am sure that he did not like this. A part of me wondered if this was Shirley ringing to rub it in that he no longer needed the orphanage. He found his happiness as a spoiled, rich brat. Shirley no longer needed us. After a few questions from him, I told him that I was busy. After the phone call, I just stayed in my office. A part of me wanted to cry. A part of me wanted to scream. I admit it, I miss Shirley. I do not mind which child gets adopted, but my heart was telling me why it had to be Shirley. I felt bad that I was somewhat impolite and distant. It just hurt when I heard his voice.
Susan
I went to ballet class today, and Shirley was not there. I sent him a text message asking him if he was coming late. I got a short text back saying that he was no longer allowed to go to ballet and did not want to talk about it. The ballet was no longer fun without him. I only did ballet because it had something to do with Shirley; I know I am not good at it. It's as if I have two left feet. I could hardly concentrate during the lesson. I was thinking of Shirley not being allowed to do what he loved the most. I guessed that Shirley's new parents were the ones who decided that he was no longer allowed to come to ballet. This upsets me. Why would parents forbid something their child was good at and something he loved? It made me think that I was happy that I did not have parents. I do not want my parents to tell me I am not allowed to do things that I like doing. It also made me wonder what Shirley's life was like with his new parents. Do they understand who he is and love him for who he is?
Nanny:
Shirley is changing, and this is not for the best. He no longer has the energy and spirit of life. Shirley no longer smiles. He hardly even speaks. This is such a contrast to how he was when he came here or when he visited my home. I know what the problem is. Mr. and Mrs. Sterling do not know Shirley. They are telling Shirley how they want him to act and look. They have taken the toys he likes away, and they no longer allow Shirley to go to ballet. You do not have to have many degrees in child psychology to realise how sad Shirley is that he does not like what is happening. Not allowing Shirley to go to ballet was the thing that broke him. Shirley is no longer happy and is a shell of himself. As a nanny, I get paid by the Sterlings to do a job. At the same time, I can no longer stand by and watch Shirley suffer.
Shirley
It's the weekend, and if you ask me what I have been doing all day, it was crying on my bed as well as getting into tantrums. I thought being adopted would be great, but now it's hell. I feel as if I am no longer myself. Since I came to this place, my new parents have been spending a lot of time telling me what I am not allowed to do. They have taken the toys I liked away. They have told me that I am no longer allowed to dance. I have done everything they asked for. I never argued with them or gave them a reason for not loving me. The only thing I want is to be loved for who I am. I want to be accepted for who I am. The Sterlings do not love me. They do not even know me. They never asked me how I was feeling or what I liked doing. How can they? I only see them for an hour a day, and this is usually them asking about homework or whether my room is tidy and all that. It feels as if they just judge me all the time. I will not be a brat and act like a grumpy teenager. It could be that if they see me being obedient, they will learn to love me.
Jason:
People always told me that I was a bully, but I was an angel compared to how Shirley is becoming. Despite that he still has that long hair, he is now very boyish. He is also becoming a bully. The nice, smiling Shirley, whom we all thought was weird but kind, is fading away. Now he always seems so angry and lashes out at everyone. This has shocked many in his class. The others are becoming afraid of him. They are avoiding him, and this only makes things worse. In a way, I can understand Shirley. When he was adopted, he was ignored or otherwise mocked by his classmates because he was now a rich kid. I think that a person can only deal with so much. The others pushed Shirley too much, and now he is lashing back. It is not always the bully's fault. What people do not understand is that there is a reason why people bully. Let's hope that this is a phase that Shirley is going through.
Susan
I feel like crying all the time now. Shirley was my best friend; however, I no longer recognise him. He has become so mean and aggressive. There is not a day that he is not sent to the headmaster's office for getting into a fight or bullying someone. The only one who has escaped his wrath is me. I tried speaking to Shirley about it, but he ignored me. I may have escaped his bullying, but he now treats me like I am invisible. I do not know what is happening. I do not believe my classmates when they say that he thinks he is too good for us because he lives with a rich family. I think that it is something else. Whatever it is, it hurts! I feel like I lost a good friend, and the best friend I ever had is now being possessed by some demon. There is nothing that I can do except wait and see or mourn that I lost a friend.
Mr. Dickens
Shirley is still on trial, so I visited Shirley and his new parents. It seems as if things are not going as well as expected. Shirley is getting into trouble at school, and he has no friends. Mr. Sterling told me that Shirley is like a broken doll, and they are doing their best to fix him. He told me that Shirley played with girly toddler toys when he came, and no boy at 11 years old should be wearing diapers. I was even told that Shirley was no longer allowed to do ballet. As his parents were saying this, I looked at Shirley. The boy did not look happy. Even his eyes were watery. The only thing that Shirley said was that he was trying his best. I know the Sterlings would be good for the orphanage if this adoption went through. They would be great donors, but at what expense? I explained to the Sterlings that Shirley was always girly and not afraid to show this side of him. We should respect who Shirley is and support him. I felt strange for saying this, but seeing how sad Shirley looked opened my eyes. It did not open Sterling's couple's eyes. Mr. Sterling's only comment was that Shirley would now be getting a haircut.
Shirley
When Mr. Sterling told me I was getting a haircut and my hair was to be short, I lost my temper for the first time since I came here. I told Mr. and Mrs. Sterling that I did not mind my hair being trimmed, but there was no chance in the world that I would let anyone cut it off. They looked confused when I said this, and my reply was that if they bothered to spend any time with me, or got to know me, they would get to know me and understand why. I do not feel guilty that I shouted at Mr. and Mrs. Sterling. Since I came here, they have been trying to change me. My hair was the only part of the real me that was left, and they were not going to cut it.
Nanny
I told Mr. and Mrs. Sterling that, as parents, it is natural to have certain expectations and hopes for our children. However, it is important to understand that our children's gender identity is not something that can be controlled or changed. Shirley may identify as transgender, meaning that his gender identity does not align with the sex he was assigned at birth. This is not a choice, but rather a fundamental aspect of who he is. It is important to accept and support Shirley's gender identity, as denying or rejecting it can have negative impacts on their mental health and well-being. Their love and acceptance as parents are crucial in helping Shirley feel loved and accepted for who he truly is.
Mr Sterling
As the nanny gave her views that Shirley was born in the wrong body, I decided to put my foot down as I said to her, “ Listen to me, nanny. I have hired you to take care of my child, not to influence their beliefs and identity. I will not accept my son, Shirley, being transgender or even 'girly' because it goes against nature. It is not normal, and I will not allow it. As a father, it is my duty to protect my child and guide them towards what is right and natural. I refuse to let society's twisted ideas of gender confuse my child. I will do whatever it takes to prevent this from happening, even if it means finding a new nanny who shares my beliefs. Understand that I will not tolerate any attempts to change my child's gender.”
Shirley
I could hear the adults fighting downstairs. I was in my bedroom and started practising ballet. Once again, I had a smile on my face. I stood up to my new parents by saying that they would not be allowed to cut my hair. I know who I am and will not let anyone tell me who I should be. What difference does it make as long as I am happy and hurt no one? When I tried to be the boy they wanted, I was becoming a version of myself that I did not like. I was becoming an angry bully who was hurting others. I would not do this again. Maybe they do not want me to be girly, but I will do things that make me happy. Now I was practicing ballet in my room, and that made me happy.
Nanny
So I was warned that if I supported Shirley, they would find a nanny who would. This frightened me. Shirley needs someone like me by his side. Shirley needs someone who understands him. One thing I do know: Shirley should not be living here or getting adopted by people who do not understand him.
