Orphan Petal
June 2023 - Part 4
Shirley now is at an orphanage where Aunty works. He now will start a new journey. What path will he take?
This is a spin-off to the story "The Teenage Years of Alexander Horten"
Victoria Temple:
Welcome once again. I was thinking that Shirley goes through something that a lot of children go through. They have been influenced so much by their parents that at one stage they have to see the world through their own eyes and not their parent's eyes. Some adults may not even have learned this. For Shirley, we see that he is slowly realizing that people can think and act differently than he does, and this does not mean that they are bad. He has now a friend and this is a huge step for Shirley. He is learning that no one can live on an island as we are all social and need others.
Shirley:
Austin wanted to know who the diaper girl was in the sketch. I did not answer him but inside I was in a panic. How could I tell him that a pretty girl my age who wore diapers was dominating my dreams and I was obsessed with her? He already thought that I was obsessed with Aunty. A few days went by after Austin asked me who she was, I went and hid in my hiding place and just sat down and cried. I have been feeling so depressed and sad the last few days. I do not know why I was sad. Was it because I thought that the diaper girl in my dreams was making me crazy? Was it because I was told again and again that everyone here did not like me? Was it something else like I was not getting tall like the other children here that were my age? One sure thing was that I hated being sad.
Austin:
I noticed that Shirley has been more quiet than he usually was. It was different from the usual grumpy and egotistic idiot that he usually was. He was different now. I even heard him crying in his sleep. I tried asking what was bothering him. He did not answer me. Nothing new there as he never confided in me. I told him that I hoped he would feel better. “You are not the only one with problems,” I said and explained that we all have problems. The worst thing that a person could do is feel sorry for themselves. Maybe if Shirley would stop trying to get Aunty to like him, he could feel better. Shirley was now friends with Susan and he should see this as something positive.
Susan:
Austin spoke with me about Shirley. This was strange. The first is that Austin never spoke with me. The only times he spoke with me was to ask me why I hung around with Shirley. I do not think that Austin likes Shirley. Yet here he was asking me if I noticed that Shirley seemed to be troubled about something. This means that deep down Austin cared about Shirley. I agreed with Austin and thought that Shirley wanted Aunty to like him. She did not pay any attention to Shirley and this saddened the boy. I gave Shirley a copy of the story about what Aunty did to her nephew years ago. I told Shirley to read the “Allie” story. I hope that Shirley will see that Aunty is not the saint he thinks she is. See what the woman did with her nephew? I want to protect Shirley from her.
Victoria Temple:
You can read what Aunty did with her nephew by searching for the story on my profile. The story is called “Allie - The Teenage Years of Alexander Horten”
Miss Hawthorne:
A boy came into my office because he wanted someone to speak to. I had no clue who the boy was. How can people expect me to remember all the children here? He told me his name was Shirley. With that name, I had to ask him if he was a girl. This upset the boy and asked me if he looked like a girl. I thought that he could pass as a girl or a boy. I did not want to hear all his childish problems and advised him to speak with Aunty. This made the boy sigh as he told me that Aunty did not like him. My answer was that I did not have time. It's not so much that I did not have time, I just did not have the energy to hear his petty problems.
Austin:
Some people would never change. I tried to be supportive of Shirley today. When we were alone in our room, I told him that I did not mind if he was gay or not. There was a reason for me saying this. If someone met Shirley for the first time, they would think he had the body and face of a girl and think he was a girl. Even if he cut his hair, he would look like a girl. He has a very high-pitched voice. I think that this could be why Shirley does not have friends. He is struggling with the fact that he likes boys. I think the whole tough facade he has is for people to notice that he is not gay. Shirley did not like me asking if he was gay and launched at me like an attack missile. I pinned him down to the bed and told him that it was just a question. He could just deny it and life would move on. Shirley's only comment was to let him alone. He did not speak with me after this. Gay or not, Shirley is one weird boy!
Shirley:
I am mad at Austin. I am not gay! I remember my dad telling me that being gay was an abomination and a sin. After Austin pinned me down, I told him that I wanted to be alone and never wanted to speak with him again. Then I sat down to read the Allie story. I was shocked as I read this. Aunty persuaded her nephew to wear diapers and act like a baby. Allie was 13 years old! Is that not too old to wear diapers? Still, the girl that is in my dreams wears them and she seems very happy. Aunty did not stop there. She persuaded Allie to start wearing dresses and act like a girl. All this made me think that Aunty would love Logan. He loves being a girl. Maybe everyone is right and Aunty does not like boys. She wants all the boys to be like Logan and wear dresses. After I read the story, I had this feeling that it would be nice to meet Allie and ask him why he let Aunty dominate him so much and if he did not think he was doing something wrong by being girly.
Susan:
Shirley read the Allie book and was so confused about it. He told me that he thought that his old foster brother was weird because he wanted everyone to consider him a girl. Shirley thought it was so wrong that Logan could not accept the way God created him. He thought that it was worse that people just accepted him as a girl. Now that he read about Allie, he could see how confusing it was for Allie. He noticed that it took a long time to be happy. I smiled and told Shirley that that is the most important thing in life… being happy. Allie was manipulated and tricked by Aunty and this caused so much trouble, It was only when he made decisions himself, that Allie found happiness. “Do not let Aunty or anyone tell you how to be. Be someone that you can be proud of”, I said to Shirley. To be honest, I was proud of myself. I showed Shirley the type of person Aunty is. Maybe he won't be so obsessed with getting her to notice him.
Shirley:
A few days later, I was with Susan again. I am so happy that she is my friend. I told her that I had a strange request. Everyone said I had girly features. I wondered if I looked like a girl if my hair was done like a girl. So I asked her if she could fix my hair. Susan said she loved fixing others' hair so she put my hair in small tots. She also put some decorations in the hair. When it was done and I looked in the mirror, I could see a girl looking back at me. A part of me was surprised and part of me wanted to cry. Susan told me that a lot of boys could look like a girl if they wore the right dress and hair. That does not mean that they are sissies. I then told Susan that a month ago, I would never have asked anyone to do my hair in a girl's style. I was going crazy. Then I admitted that the invisible girl in my dreams was our age and she still wore diapers and acted like a baby all the time. I know that I should not like her or accept her baby ways, but she is like a friend. Susan just smiled at me and told me that maybe I could see beyond her diaper and see what was in her heart. She reminded me of the Allie story, where everyone concentrated on what he wore and how he acted and not his personality.
Susan:
Shirley confided in me today about his invisible friend. It does seem like a strange dream and just as weird that he dreams of the same girl every night. Still, he cannot control what he dreams. I tend to dream a lot about unicorns and bunnies. Shirley also told me that he considers him and me best friends forever. This nearly made me want to cry with happiness. I think it's so important to have a friend that you can have fun with as well as be serious and confide with. We must be there for each other.
Shirley:
Since I came here, I wanted Aunty to like me. I do not know why I think it's so important that she does. I think from the first day, she has impressed me. I admire her. She is so cool. The problem is that she seems not to like me. After reading the Allie story, I know what sort of person she likes. I know at the end that Aiunty will like me. I will make her proud of me.
Austin:
Shirley did something today that he probably never had done before. He apologised for the times he got mad at me and when he called me gay. He told me that it was wrong of him to assume things and to vent his temper at me. Shirley wanted to be friends. I appreciated the apology as I guess that any apology from Shirley is rare and must be a heartfelt one. I did not want to be his friend. I simply do not like Shirley. This answer seems to have disappointed him, but I did say that as we are forced to share the same room, we can be civil with each other.
Shirley:
I spoke with Aunty today and told her that I was going crazy. I told her the same that I told Susan about the diaper girl in my dreams. Aunty did not tell me to leave her alone. She sat down and gave me her full attention. I was happy that she seemed interested in what I was saying. I think this was the first time I ever seen Aunty so interested in me
Doctor Mary:
Shirley has been in the orphanage for a month and a lot has happened. I see these changes as something positive. He is not lashing out at people and is not being so judgemental. He has made a friend and even apologized for what he had done wrong. I think the gradual change is because Shirley is no longer influenced by his parents and the other children influence his behaviour and actions. I will not say that Aunty is helping. By not giving Shirley the attention he needs, she is making him desperate for her attention. It worries me that this is making Shirley more submissive and vulnerable.
Aunty:
I talked with Shirley today and told him we need to talk about the diaper girl in his dreams. Many say we should take our dreams seriously and maybe Shirley had to think about why he always dreams about this girl and why he likes her so much. He has to find out who this girl is. I think I know why she is in Shirley's dreams.
Victoria Temple:
Thanks for reading this part. I hope you will comment. Do you think Shirley is more submissive and vulnerable? I hope to see you in the next part of “Orphan Petal"
