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Previously: Instead she said, “Mandi and Patricia called and they were wondering if we’d be open to going out with a bunch of boys on New Year’s Eve down to the Plaza?” …“Dah,” I say, “You’re asking her in front of me?” …Katie says, “You’re included. After all the both of you agreed that you should date others.” …I became silent, not knowing what to say. I didn’t expect Sarai to show interest either. “I don’t know, do you think we should Caryn?”…

I call out to my Dad, worried that Mom just might side with them.

My father called me down to visit him in the den off from the general living area. “Dad, you won’t believe it. Katie just shared an invite from her and Sarai’s friends, Mandi and Patricia. They want us to go down to the Plaza for the New Year’s Eve celebration with a bunch of boys.”

Dad asks, “Are you asking for permission or is there a problem?”

“Dad!” I said, “The boys and girls usually match up like dates.”

Dad says, “You both have said you should do it sometime. If you’re not ready, just say no.”

“Dad, you’re going to let me go with a guy?”

“Caryn, other than making sure he’s comfortable with you; I don’t see a problem. Yes, it might scare you to do something new. It would be a new step in your growth as Caryn. I feel for you. It’s not the path I chose so I don’t know what other advice to give you. You have my blessing, whatever you decide.”

‘Hm, sometimes I wish I were younger and others decided things for me.’ My alter ego speaks up, ‘No, you don’t. Part of the reason to be you is to make your own decisions.’

I can’t say, I wasn’t nervous when I went back to Katie and Sarai. Katie says, “Everyone is waiting to know your decision. They want to know the number of us girls so we’ll match up with the number of guys.”

I said, “Sarai if this is something we should do I’m in.”

Sarai responded, “I already decided yes, but I’m not deciding for you. It is something we agreed to.”

I turned to my sister, “Count me in.”

The next day, Sarai was over by 11:00 so the three of us could go and take Great Grams out for dinner at noon. Grams wanted to go to Jade Garden, a Thai restaurant. “I want something with different tastes but not too spicy hot,” she said.

The host introduces himself, Decha Niran, and he compliments us for bringing our Grandmother. He gives a half-bow when she says she is over ninety years old. The day is cold so Mr. Niran brings a drink for Grams. It is no more than a thimble in amount, but it does the job of warming up Grams and she’s joyful for his kindness.

She orders a dinner of pork, rice, and vegetables with a sauce to go over it. I order a similar dinner with a hotter sauce. Katie and Sarai ordered to their tastes.

Grams looked at my hands and drew one to her. She admired my fingernails, “Are you able to paint your own this well?”

“Great Gram, I did those nails. If they were more detailed that would have required Katie or Sarai. These are pretty simple.”

She said. “But ones as even and as well done as these are usually done by girls… We’ve had a few male workers at Riverbend who serve our meals who paint their nails. But they are not as good as yours.”

Sarai injects, “But Caryn is one of us Great-Grams.” Sarai and Grams smile at each other.

Grams says to Katie and Sarai, “My thanks to you girls. It requires a lot of patience to allow someone younger to gain the needed experience. I had a younger sister and daughters, I should know.”

Katie and Sarai lightly laughed in agreement.

Great Grams tapped my hand, “We should go to the Lady’s room. We have one more stop before you take me back.” I was surprised she dared to include me.

After dinner, we went to a photo place at the mall and had a picture of Katie, Great Grams, and myself taken. Grams said the picture was hers but hoped we would treasure it in due time. We were going back out to the car when Katie said she forgot her purse. She went back and would meet us in the car.

Grams laughed as I drove the car, that I was driving my ‘Miss. Daisy.’ She said, “You have to admit this old bird has her whit’s. You’ve come to see me two days in a row and have one more time before you go back to school.” We spent another half hour back at Grams.

Grams said to Sarai, “You know that you should have Gary’s sperm harvested from him in case you should decide to get married as two women.” She paused, “You would make beautiful babies together.”

Sarai and I blushed profusely; Grams said, “My gosh, you’re already doing it. Aren’t you?”

Sarai hugged me and buried her face in my shoulder. Grams said, “Now isn’t that a pretty sight. You know Sarai, you are a beautiful young woman and Caryn is fortunate to have your love. Gary had raved about you, now I know why.”

Grams went to a drawer in the living area and found a ribbon. She had Sarai and I hold hands and weaved the ribbon around our hands. “Now Katie you can drive them home. See if you can do it with their hands ribboned together.”

Katie said, “But I don’t want to be seen driving them around. I want one of them up with me.”

Grams says, “Do it as a favor to me.”

Then as we were going to walk out the door; Great Grams said, “Wait, come back in and close the door. There’s one more thing that I have to ask.” She has us sit, it must be important. “Please don’t tell anyone yet what I told you. I never thought I would tell anyone that secret. But Caryn and Sarai being as you are; it was like sharing a weight upon my heart. Kate and Caryn, I need you not to tell anyone until I have told your father. And you are never to tell your Grandmother Miller. I don’t want her thinking the worse of me.” She asks, “Is that agreeable?”

Katie says, “Wow, Grams, really trust us. We honored that you told us about it.”

“Thanks, Grams. It meant a lot to Sarai and me. You have our word. I agree, I think Dad will be understanding now. He does think the world of you. I’m sure he’ll and Mom will be moved hearing it from you.”

Sarai, “Thanks, can I adopt you as a Great Grams too?” Grams gave Sarai a hug that she held longer.

Part of the way home we were quiet, and then talked about how special the time was.

The next day I got together with my girlfriends in my grade Hope, Jennifer, Monica, and Tiffany. Jenni and I talked alone for a short bit. Jenni said, “I need to tell you I’m keeping our relationship as just friends as long as you’re going with Sarai. I want our friendship to continue, and not interfere with you and Sarai. I don’t want any tension between her and me when we see each other.”

I took a small gift out of my purse and handed it to Jenni. “You are special, but I agree and thank you. You can open it up later if you would.”

I had a gift card from Grandmother Miller with which I bought a nice skirt and fancy tights for tonight, the New Year’s Eve gathering. The skirt would be warm and should help me being out in the cold at night.

Needless to say, I was nervous as could be. Ashley Nolan remarking, “Look how she dressed up for her date. It looks like you’re trying to impress a boy, Caryn.”

Sarai stepped forward, “Well, I’m glad that her perfume is subtle… You do look nice Caryn. I hope you have a good night. I won’t spy on you if you don’t on me, okay?”

Katie turned to me, “Sis, I’m told your date is six foot tall. You might want to change into heels. I have a pair with a slightly wider heel and I know you do as well. Please change into one of them.”

It was nine o’clock when we went to the plaza. I recognized Dane as a boy that I knew. He was going to the junior college nearby. Being from our town, I was fairly sure that he knew who I was.

He was in a nice pair of jeans, a blue pullover, and a jacket that was open that showed a fit body. I couldn’t remember him playing sports. He came over to me and introduced himself. “I’m Dane Brown, it’s nice to see you again Caryn. I guess we’re dates for the evening, I look forward to being with you.”

We went to a restaurant/pub just off the plaza. The music was festive with old songs and new. Our group was at different tables in different areas of the pub. Needless to say, Sarai and I were out of sight from each other. The food was finger food of wings, loaded mushrooms, and loaded nachos.

Soon Dane and I were up dancing. The first two we faster with us apart which suited me well. I was set to get through the evening, not planning to get close. The third dance was slow and Dane led the dancing and our talking.

Against my plan, I found myself enjoying dancing with him. His flattery was touching. He said, “I’m majoring in sports broadcasting and sports information.” Then he said, “You’re going to make the sports world interesting. You found running as Gary in a running skirt acceptable. I for one think you are an ideal person for making the change to running like a girl.”

I asked, “Why do you say that?”

“You’re being accepted as a girl, and there is a growing group of onlookers in the region hoping you make the change.” He said, “I know that Midwest university is hoping you consider them as Sarai did? That’s high praise from a high ranking women’s program. Getting Sarai away from the East is a feather in their cap. And a church-based university interested in you is high praise as well.”

I said, “Sarai and I seek to be good for a team, we’re good students, and like running. I just hope if I transition, I can keep a lot of my ability.”

Dane hugged me as the dance ended and I felt a kiss on the cheek.

Once off the dance floor, I went to the women’s restroom with Katie. She said, “I see his magic is working on you.”

“We’ve only danced and talked,” I said.

“Yes, but I can tell you like being with him?”

I said, “What makes you say that?”

“Earlier, you were set not to enjoy yourself. That has changed. It is okay Sis if you like boys. It was expected by everyone but you.”

I wasn’t going to fix my makeup but Katie balked at us leaving the women’s room until I did. When I talked with Dane; I found that he was a baseball player along with being a sports enthusiast in general. His desire at making it in baseball was to be credible to others as an athlete. He liked racquetball to keep him in shape and agile as an infielder. Inadvertently, I agreed to play him once in a friendly game. I know how to play, but I know I probably wouldn’t be much competition.

It was eleven o’clock when we made our way outside and again our group did not meet up with the other group. The night cold had set in with good a breeze that I was getting cold. I gave in, “Dane, I wasn’t going to do this, but I’d like your help in staying warm.”

He said, “That is manageable. I’d like a kiss to help me stay warm as well.” I looked up to him and let him snug me and we kissed. It went from one to two kisses; the second with a little feeling. “Now that didn’t hurt did it?” I didn’t need to answer.

I liked that Dane was not loud, rude, nor drinking hard. He squeezed my buns and I could tell he was excited. He knew nothing more was going to happen between us tonight. We stayed for the new year to begin and a half-hour into the concert that followed.

When the crowd thinned out; we met back up with the other part of our group. Sarai and I both could tell we had kissed our dates. First anxious we soon relaxed. I found it ironic that I was the one who kind of measured up Steven Drake, her date, and thought I had the better of the two.

The consensus was everyone had a good time.

Once home, Katie said, “I hope you are pleased with yourself. You changed your attitude and seemingly had a good time.”

It was three weeks later, the day before I was going back to see Great Grams. Mom and Dad sat down with me, Dad said, “Your Great Grandmother is very impressed with you. Not only did you take time to have a good visit when you took her car back. But you held her secret until she was able to tell it to us in person. I had thought my Grandmother and her friend had been angry with one another while my father was alive. It seemed to be a great release for her when she was able to tell someone. I appreciate that she was able to tell me. And you were right, I probably have a better appreciation and acceptance because of you.”

Mom changed the subject and we talked privately. “You know the doctors have probably hosted enough sperm from you. Tomorrow when we go see Dr. Michele Watts she is likely to bring up putting you on the testosterone blocker.”

I said, “I’m hoping my own female hormone production is still strong enough to keep me from maturing as a young man.”

Mom says, “Since there hasn’t been any sign of that these past two months. It is a good indication that is true. I’m thinking we’d have to wait longer or have a testosterone booster to get you developing as Gary if that would be what you wanted. Your statement indicates to me that you’re hoping to continue as Caryn.” When I shake my head affirming that Mom moves closer and gives me a hug. “It sounds like your counselor agrees you are healthy and emerging as Caryn. I thought it was interesting that she said Gary is still very much a part of you.”

I came home Saturday from my visit with Great Grams, and my mood was mixed. Grams had fallen earlier in the week and her memory wasn’t as good when I first got there. During our visit, her thoughts cleared up. Though one was a little disturbing. She said, “I think your great-grandpa knows about your change and is comfortable with it… I can’t quite remember what he said, other than Caryn makes a good girl… I tried to ask him more but the visit faded.”

I painted Great Grams’ finger and toenails as we visited. She asked me after they were dry to put on a pair of her knee-high stockings…

To be continued…