It was the next meet, and when we runners were first called to the starting areas, I got down to my running kit of a skirt and shorts with my regular jersey. Eyes quickly turning my way. Along with many gasping or pointing me out to others. Even the other teams seemed to know about my recent running flop. Chas from South Brunswick was the loudest in hazing me, “So it’s true, you’ve become one of them.” Several girls cheered for me, and that got the attention of others.

Once all were ready, the starter’s gun marked the beginning of the race, and Sarai and I were running fairly well over the first two legs and I felt energized going into the third leg of the race. I lost track of others as I was into my long stride. The last time that I heard meant I was thirty seconds better than my best time. If I made a mistake it was speeding up too much before I caught up to Chuck. Chuck, hearing my name, kicked it up, and while I got closer and finished 10th, Chuck finished 9th. I had shaved off a minute from my best previous time.

Sarai bested the rest of the girls and finished 17th overall. She and I walked some more before we began to relax with others. She was happy for me and we gave one another a big hug. Several of the male runners came by congratulated me and joked they would need to try wearing a skirt. Coach Higgins came by congratulated me on how I ran. “I was pretty sure you had it in you to do better.

“Sarai, I thank you for your part in Caryn’s success. I hope she will continue this even after Homecoming.”

It was the first time three runners from our school finished in the top ten and the first time four runners finished in the top 20 of a race.

The truth was, I pushed myself and I was hurting as we rode back on the bus. Sarai, tired of my moans, called me up to where she was sitting with most of the girl runners. She had a lotion that she began working into my calves and thighs. “You a pretty lucky girl that you didn’t hurt yourself or worse and pulled a ligament.”

I had fallen asleep and we were five minutes away from the school when I notice Tanya Avery and Sarai had started painting my toenails. I could have wrecked their work by hiding my feet in my running shoes, but I didn’t.

Instead of using the showers; I was soon met by my sister. “I heard how well you did, congratulations!” Katie smiled, even more, when she saw my toes, “Is that your victory prize?”

We waited until Sarai was back out and we gave her a ride home. I sat in the back of the car as I had not showered. Katie asked, “Were you wanting to show off your bra to the guys?”

I forgot it was on, and told Katie that others hadn’t noticed it. Sarai spoke up disagreeing. “Most of our girls and many other girls noticed. They thought it was part of his renegade image. I’d be surprised if none of the guys recognized you’re wearing one.”

Sarai turned to Katie, “I think he needs to keep it up while Caryn’s on this hot streak. He did his best running to date.”

I said to Katie, “It’s a sports bra, nothing special.”

Katie spoke, “It’s a bra, pure and simple. And you’ve done well running in it, you might as well keep it up.”

Sarai asked as she was getting ready to get out at her home, “Are you taking me out to a movie or something tonight.” Puzzled, I look at her, and she said, “I’m taking you to homecoming as my date. It’s the least you can do Caryn.”

I smiled as this would be my first date and it was to be with Sarai. Wow! “How about I pick you up at 6:30 if I can use our car. We can get something to eat and see the second showing tonight. You get the choice of movies.” Since Katie didn’t say anything, I considered the car a done deal.

Sarai was quick to her house and we began moving again. “Smooth going, Caryn. Now we need to get home, you cleaned up and see what you have to wear.”

I retorted, “Call me Gary!”

“It’s Caryn who has the date and who's getting prettied up for Sarai.” I was fairly quiet the rest of the way home. I did sing a song along with Katie.

Once through the door, Katie boomed out, “Mom, Caryn has a date tonight with Sarai!” Mom wanted to know what I was using for money. She expected me to ask for money.

“I have money saved, and I want to pay for my date. No one’s going to claim my date with Sarai is anything but mine. And if I’m going to dress like Caryn, I want to buy something I like.”

I took a quick shower, using Katie’s body wash. I found one of Katie’s casual skirt and top outfits on my bed. I pulled out a panty and bra. As I was putting on the bra, I noticed my flesh in the chest area was beginning to shape like the bras I was wearing.

Mom took me to Deb’s Clothiers the next town over; I thought I was safe going there. I didn’t make it to the middle of the store before someone said, “Caryn is that you? It is nice to see you here, I hope you’re the one shopping.” I soon saw Denise Dobbins from school. It ends up Deb of Deb’s Clothiers is her mother.

Mrs. Dobbins soon greeted us. “Will it be alight if Denise helps you? She is pretty knowledgeable and knows fashion for your age group.”

I agreed as Denise is a friend from school. We’re not terribly close but have been in the same classes since fourth grade. I say, “So this is why you always look fashionable at school… I don’t want anything terribly girly, but something nice as Sarai and I are going to get something to eat and then go to a movie tonight.”

Denise says, “Thanks for the compliment about looking nice… So are you wanting a slender dress or a nice skirt-sweater combination?”

“I’m not sure, whatever, I might look reasonably good in?”

She says, “With your thin running frame and delicate facial features you don’t have to worry. There are some colors and styles that will go well with you. I would encourage you to wear a nice necklace similar to the one Sarai had shared with you.”

I hadn’t noticed where Denise was leading me until we stopped in the middle of a selection of dresses. She said, “Why don’t we find three dresses that you’d be comfortable trying on, and then we’ll look for skirt outfits.”

My eyes were drawn to a coral pink dress, but the boy in me was saying no way. It wasn’t until Denise pulled it out and she said, “Your eyes have come back to this one at least three times. Would it be okay?” We also selected a burgundy skater dress with half-sleeves and finally a red-gold A-line dress. We selected two full-skirts with two sweater tops and two blouses.

While I liked the coral pink dress, even I knew, it was too nice for a casual dinner and going to the movies. Denise said, “You might want to suggest coming here to Sarai and looking at this as a homecoming possibility.” I liked the idea and would keep it in mind.

It came down to the gray skirt and a sweater top and the burgundy skater dress. The dress was casual and I thought it was attractive. Though I didn’t want to admit it I thought I was attractive in it and that for some reason mattered to me.

When we were checking out, I included a simple necklace; Denise gave me a free pair of nylons since I was a new customer. She wished me a good time on the date. “You won’t need to worry about what you’re wearing. I think you chose well. …A good number of us girls are very proud of the way you followed through and accepted things. Even a fair percentage of the guys have more respect for you. I know my boyfriend does.”

I asked her if Hayden said anything in particular? “First thing he said, he was proud that you got a date with Sarai. How girls are now your friends and bringing you out of your shell.”

I asked him, “What he thought about you as a guy? He told me there was no doubt about you being a guy. It was more about you being shy and a geek of sorts.”

My mom finally stopped our conversation saying, “We need to make another stop and then get home.”

When mom pulled into the jewelers, I turned to her, “Mom you can’t be serious?”

Mom said, “We’re getting one set for Gary as a runner making a statement, and another for Caryn because Gary’s ears need to remain open. Caryn should understand that.”

I got more and more nervous as Katie helped me to get ready. Aunt Heidi had come over to style my hair. Against my orders she cut bangs, and using alligator hair clips and setting gels, she gave my hair more curl. My hands were slapped enough that I quit trying to take the hair clips out. Hopefully, Katie was correct that the curls wouldn’t last.

I was at Katie’s vanity and she soon stopped directing me on how to do my makeup. Katie took over as I watched. This time she was using a bit more makeup, making my eyes and lips colorful. I was surprised at how soft and delicate she made my cheeks look. My earrings for Caryn we simple silver spirals. The final step of my preparation was Mom opening a shoebox with two and a half inch pump heels.

I wasn’t going to wear them until I saw how heels made one’s legs take shape. Katie assured me that I would look prettier in 3” of 4” heels even more. But these heels were manageable and more fitting for our outing tonight.

It felt strange to get into the driver’s side of the car with heels and a skirt. My head was playing mind games with me as I drove to Sarai’s house. ‘Was I dressed too nicely; I was sure Mr. Duval wasn’t going to be happy with me looking like a girl. Worst was I thought: what if, she has another boy there, saying, ‘You didn’t seriously think I would go out with a boy dressed as a girl.’

I stopped a block away from her house and called Katie, to run through my thoughts with her. She said, “I’m not surprised you called, what has you nervous?” I ran through with her the different fears running through my head. And she quickly helped me to dismiss them. “They’re your old ghost-like thoughts. Embrace your new self that focuses on being happy and wanting to do better.”

When I got to Sarai's house and went to get her, Mr. Duval did give me his bulldog look before letting it give way to welcoming me. Mrs. Duval on the other hand asked me about the dress and where I got it. It led to more of a conversation than I was wanting. I guess that’s girl talk.

Thankfully, Sarai was soon ready and in a nice skirt outfit. We complemented each other and left. I changed my mind and we went to a restaurant more appropriate for how well we were dressed. Different for me, I ordered chicken fettuccine alfredo with a side salad. Before the dinner came, Sarai said we needed to use the women’s room to clean up. She was amused when I needed to use the toilet.

When I came out to the sink there were two college women with her. One seeing me said, “It’s nice to see you, Boy Caryn. We’re interested in Sarai, our Augustana has a good women’s cross-country. You could be interested as Gary or Caryn.” With that, she turned back to Sarai and her friend.

I said, “If you’re interested in talking to her there are two more chairs at our table.” I looked to Sarai and she was affirming that would be okay for a short time.” I was impressed that she was the one getting attention.

Sarai and I practicing together had ended up being good for the two of us. I ran faster than her this week, but she again posted a record time.

Blair asked Sarai, “Do you have something on Caryn that forced her to dress like this?”

Sarai snickered, “No, while this is more than I expected. We’re doing things at least through Homecoming. He just happens to make a good looking girl.” They spent time talking about their ranking as a women’s cross-country team and their academic studies.

They left as our meals arrived. Once we’ve finished our meal; it was time to leave. Sarai and I changed our minds about a movie and decided to walk the river walk together.

We crossed the bridge to an amusement area; we tossed some rings with me winning a medium prize. I chose a kitten which I wanted to give to Sarai, but she insisted it was mine. A photographer took our picture and gave us a card to go online to select one for purchasing. It was a two for one offer so we would both get a picture.

Finally, Sarai bought us two small cones, with the request that I try taking my time and enjoy it as a girl would. We were walking along, when Sarai stopped, turned to me and we kissed with both of us have little ice cream on our lips. Between the ice cream and our lipstick, it struck me as a beautiful kiss. I was sure everything was quite intentional on Sarai’s part. But I too enjoyed it.

She asked, “What have you enjoyed most about being Caryn so far?”

I had planned to resist such a question, now, however, I paused and thought. “Right now it is dating you! Hmm, being accepted and helped by you is second.” When she smiled and relaxed; I gave her a big kiss and hugged her.

Sarai saw someone glance over and then seemed displeased. She said, “He’s my boyfriend; do you believe that?” Those two people were walking away when I turned to see them.

Sarai said, “That was quite nice; I was nicely surprised that you had the gumption to take the initiative.”

I said, “Ditto here, but I figured I better accept I’m your boyfriend.” Sarai smiled as we continued to walk. I asked, “Should we look for homecoming outfits together? I’ve never thought about this stuff before.”

She asked, “Can you describe the other dress you saw at Deb’s Clothier’s?”

I said, “There’s a coral pink dress that I was ready to buy but it was too nice for tonight. I asked, Denise Dobbins what she thought, and she’s the one who said I should probably coordinate what I wore to homecoming with you.”

“So Denise was there; she has good taste in clothes. If she thought it was possibly good enough we should check it out. Which night were you thinking of that dress for?” I was dazed, thinking I might need two. She added, “You should be dressy for Friday at school and the game, but hopefully be able to stay warm, especially if you’re selected as a princess or to the queen’s court. And then there’s the dance Saturday night. You’re expected not to wear the same dress.”

I winced, “Boy there’s a lot to think of. You don’t think I have to worry about being selected to be the princess or the queen’s court do you?”

“If I’m selected to be the queen and you’re not selected as Princess, I’ll surely have you in my court so we can be close together.” I looked at Sarai and could tell she was serious.

Sarai looked at her smartphone, “They’re wanting us to meet with dates before we call it a night.” That would be Mandy and Brian, Ashley and Toby, and Debbie but I wasn’t sure who she’d be with. Dressed as Caryn, I’m leery about other guys and twice so about surprises. Brian and Toby are regular guys; Brian’s both good in academics and sports. Toby excels in basketball and studies hard to stay eligible to get in college.

Toby comes over to me, “Gary, I think you’ve gone overboard with keeping the promise. You look like you’re one of them.” He brushes the skirt of my dress, “Woo, way overboard.”

I joke, “Does that mean you might or won’t ask me for a date?” Toby laughs and Brian and the others get visiting one another. Debbie arrives and Jack is someone we don’t know. The other guys are amused that I’m able to join in with the girls’ conversations. It is around 11:30 when we call it a night and each couple goes their own way.

When we get to Sarai’s house, there is another car parked in the driveway. Sarai springs to attention, “Great Rachel’s home you need to come in a meet her if she’s up.” I don’t know Rachel as she’s two years older than Sarai and was a senior when I was a freshman.

I’m in the house and Rachel’s up, she comes over smiling. She goes to lift the skirt of my dress, “Can I check and see if you’ve gone all the way and worn panties?” She had observed by the time I could respond. She gives me a hug, “Greetings, and thanks. Sarai’s ended up with too many that I thought were ‘dick-heads.’ Sarai and I have talked about getting a guy in skirts. It’s taken college parties and drinking to get a guy to let go of his inhibitions to relax to do it.”

I used the need to get home to call it a night. Sarai did excuse her sister so we could kiss. After that, she said, “Either clean your lips off or freshen your lipstick before you get out of your car and go into your house.”

Sunday morning I slept until 8:00 when I heard Katie getting ready for something. “Hey Katie, what are you doing?”

“I’m going to church, I told Ashley Nolan, I would go with her.”

I asked, “Do you think she’d mind if Caryn was with the two of you?”

“What gives that you want to do that as Caryn,” she asks?

“I don’t know,” I say, “It’s just that things look different from the change of perspective. I was wondering if the church and I as Caryn would cause me to see things differently?”

Katie says, “Hurry up you have less than an hour to be ready.”

I took a quick shower, and it wasn’t difficult to get my hair as I wanted it. The skirt was simple and I put on a light sweater that my sister gave me earlier. When I went to grab breakfast Mom ask, “Hold on what has you up and around as Caryn?”

I needed to explain as Mom thought I was up to something. Mom entrusted me with our parents offering thinking they were staying home. Before I left, she questioned me, “Are you changing into a second daughter?”

“No. Nothing simple like this should make you think that. The truth is you and Kate are a big part of my life and I haven’t thought of how you see things.”

Mom says, “Does this mean when homecoming comes you’re going to a salon to experience that?”

I was saved by Katie telling me she’s ready and we need to go. But going into a church as Caryn was a new experience. One of the greeters greeted me, “Hello, I’m Mrs. Hanson, you must be a friend of Katie’s let me welcome you on behalf of the church…”

I used Caryn’s voice but informed her I was Gary her brother. And when I explained what I was doing; she asked, “Does that mean you’ll be with her in today’s study of Young Women in the Church?”

When I said, “I don’t think so, Kate didn’t say anything about that.” Kate spoke up, “Yes, Ashley and I decided to go together and Caryn came with us. So yes she’s in if that’s okay.”

Mrs. Hanson didn’t miss a step, “Yes, I’m sure that will be okay with Pastor Marsha.
We have extra booklets and scarves.”

Katie turned to me, “I’ll help you pick one of the scarves so we don’t have the same one.”

When the three of us, now with Ashley there; I asked, “Why didn’t you tell me what you were planning to do?”

“You didn’t ask, you just said you want to come to church with us as Caryn. They’ve been announcing this the past three weeks. Weren’t you listening?”

“I tune out when they’re talking girl and women stuff.”

Ashley cuts in, “But today, you are one of us. Your interest is more than you’re acknowledging.” Something registers in my thinking, ‘what I’m doing isn’t normal, but it’s speaking to me and I’m dressed as a girl Caryn.’

My mind is churning as the service begins and flows. I generally tune out when people like Mary, Ruth (today), and others are talked about. But today, ‘I wonder about Ruth leaving her family for Naomi, to go back with her mother-in-law, back to almost nothing. Ruth was probably no more than 6-8 years older than my sister. I didn’t know what gleaning a field was but I couldn’t see my sister doing it.’

Once in the young women’s group, Pastor Marsha mentioned to the high school, college, and young working women, “Don’t be surprised if men don’t listen or understand you. Some might listen for a while, but like in Church, many men will have trouble naming any after Mary. They will expect you to remember their friends, but unless they find one attractive they will have trouble remembering yours.”

The Pastor is interrupted by women telling their experience, they speak and Marsha uses their experiences to keep the discussion on course. We break into groups of 3-4 and I end up in Marsha’s small group. When we are one on one, she mentions, “You’ve been doing this a week now, does any of what we’re talking about sound familiar to your experiences?”

I answered, “The first time I came to youth fellowship and you used girls as examples I tuned you out. The stories often were interesting, but they didn’t relate to me.”

Pastor Marsha said, “Your sister listens to history and guys' ways of thinking and she’s expected to get it.” Katie stood up and stared at me.

I said, “That’s what I meant, I’m seeing things differently.”

A second bell rang, and Pastor Marsha said, “Once again we’ve gone fifteen minutes over. Before I let you go, would you girls permit Caryn to come back next week in girl mode? I think it allows us to hear another dimension of what we’re wrestling with. And hopefully, Gary will get how it relates to him.”

Two girls said yes and the class said yes. Pastor Marsha asked me to wait, but she first talked to the girls.

I guess Mom and Dad had gone to the second service, and they smiled knowing when Katie and Ashley had been and were amused to see me come from the same direction of their class.

Mom and Dad invited us to go out to eat with them, but I wasn’t excited about going out as Caryn. Dad was willing to take me back, but that didn’t quite work either as Katie and Ashley wanted to go shopping afterward, but without Mom…

To be Continued…

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