Brian got in touch with his feminine side,
and hoped to get some help in doing so.
He wanted to see himself look like a convincing girl in his own way of thinking.
He never imagined or planned what happened…
Brian's hidden away and Jenny is finding life more natural... Jenny knows beyond a shadow of a doubt who she is... Jenny is surprised by others like her...

It is graduation and President Campbell does not make good on her threat to withhold my degree until I was well in my graduate program. Though I had only been a student for two years at Amber University I’ve done well here, receiving recognition and scholarship help for grad school.

Once again who I have been as Brian comes to light again. If I had not made friends with my past it would haunt me more. Two teachers from my home school wrote to a North Carolina paper: “There is no trace of Brian in Jenny Connors. Brian was a good guy, but awkward in his movements and thoughts. We have seen her play basketball twice as well as having a chance to speak with her. It probably would have been better for Brian if Jenny showed herself earlier in his life.”

The Duke/AU game is now closing in on us and growing in importance and attention, and it would be growing more so as the week continues. It looks not only to be a record crowd, a sold-out arena, but the TV rights are being bought up in growing numbers and beyond any wild expectations.

We have called for a postseason fundraising game. While individual statistics can be kept, only fouls would be officially kept and standard regulations would be observed. Neither a game score nor winner-loser is to be declared. Five minutes are added to the first half of the game and five minutes are added to the second half. This was to give more game for the fans and viewing audience.

It is Amber’s plan to play a competitive game but hopefully gets as many of its players in the game as possible. Duke and the NCAA are still pushing to keep the game score and to declare a winner. It’s being billed as the contest of the unbeaten teams. Seemingly, it is only teams that have played the Ambassadors that are expecting us to make it a contest. Many of them do not expect us to win but to give a good showing of ourselves.

We arrive late Wednesday for our Sunday evening game. We’re set to practice at an area community college as well as two times on the Duke court. Being on the Duke basketball court is like walking on hallowed ground, of women’s basketball fame.

We visit the children’s wing of area hospitals finding out most had not been visited and none to the extent we are showing interest. We have over 30 children from Philadelphia hospitals coming to the game, with two chartered planes and over a dozen buses coming filled with fans. We expect our contingent of over 3,000 fans to be a nice presence in support of our team. It will be small in relation to the 14,000 in attendance supporting Duke. The attendance is now expected to exceed 17,500.

Many are forecasting that Amber will have trouble going the distance and may even experience trouble keeping it a game until half time. Vivian Stringer from Rutgers and coaches from Syracuse and others who had played us warned Duke might be under-estimating their opponent. But they stop short of predicting any possibility of Duke being outplayed.

It is fantastic for us as we show up over an hour and a half early and wanting to get acclimated to the court. We’re warm and cordial to the fans, and especially the young girls, who came early. We have a half dozen game balls brought that we could sign and share with fans.

One family with three young children had come early, to get situated without any hassles. The second child is in a special wheelchair. Several of us go up and visit. We surprise a family who is strong Duke Fans. We seemingly show more interest and courtesy than they expected. When some of our children show up we enjoyed them as well.

A male freshman from Amber comes up to me, “Hi, I’m Cal and you inspired me to come here. It’s taken me this long to get the nerve to show this much.” Jenny takes a half step back. Cal’s nails are painted with a translucent pink. His top is unisex but a camisole appears underneath. Jenny smiles, “It is good to know you. You don’t need to be this far from campus to befriend me. I need to focus on the game for now, ‘chow sister’.”

The crowd begins to become significant forty minutes before the game. One can hear the crowd hush as some people enter the arena and increased noise or applause for others. Players on both sides are impressed. There is no doubt a special game is being played.

Randy Travis is introduced and leads the crowd in singing the national anthem.

The game starts with a fast tempo which was thought to be to Duke’s advantage, but like at Ohio State we’re ready and hold our own.

The game is already off to a good start when I get in and hit my first two three-point attempts. Duke is shooting more shots, I also help to feed Cassie. Seemingly we hit 7 of 9 three-pointers in the first half. We’re playing well on defense as well as on offense. It is a very competitive game. The crowd seems to enjoy the game more than was expected.

Marcy and Dominique each making an early basket make it hard for Duke to focus on Cassie. Jasmine substitutes for each of them, lest they get worn out. We were aggressive early in the game but slow the game down at times and control the tempo. When halftime comes, the crowd gives both the teams a standing ovation.

Several celebrities are used in giving notoriety to the children who are there as well as making presentations of checks to the hospitals of the Durham-Raleigh area as well as the greater Philadelphia area. Celebrities, sports figures, and regular fans alike questioned by the media. They’re finding women’s basketball surprisingly competitive and fun to watch. The halftime festivities today are a bit more entertaining as well.

When we returned to the court the score was up on the scoreboard 49-45 in our favor. The NCAA and Duke officials state with a chance to win we would want the score known. Duke still expects they will beat us easily but say they need the incentive to follow through. We’re hesitant to continue without the agreement being kept. Ultimately we’re told the decision went back to the NCAA and we need to fulfill our part in the game.

I was approached by a TV and then a radio broadcast team. I asked, “People, please let it be known if the agreement should be kept. Coach states, “We are committed to playing a competitive game.” Coach O’Mara says, “But we’ll be playing all of our players either way.”

I was told, “You should be happy as your stats are looking good.”

By the day of the game, there was the expectation to raise over three times for each of the children’s hospitals of each community. Cassie, Marcy, Dominque, and Jasmine are playing good games and even Cassie got a needed break in each half. Well into the third quarter Cassie had been held to fourteen points but has already grabbed ten rebounds and blocked shots.

With three steals in the second half and continued good shooting, it is the game and not me that I’m excited about. The score is kept, but it is not to be shown until the end of the game. Coach O’Mara has chosen not to know the score. Come to the end of the third period we had played all of our second string and two players from the third string. Duke had come back out and on fire in the second half but the teams are still playing dead even as far as we know.

A blocked shot by Cassie was heading out of bound when I caught up to it and sent it up-court. Olivia out-hustled her Duke opponent to it and fed a pass to Staci. It began a 10 point run. It is not until Coach pulls the first team with five minutes to go that Duke began to pull even with us. Duke actually called a time out to urge Coach O’Mara and school officials to play its first string and play for the win.

“We are playing to do our best, and Coach believes in the women we are playing.” Cassie and Stacy both got ovations for outstanding games. Olivia and I are now heading back onto the court, but with more than two minutes I was brought out to another strong ovation. The announcer acknowledges Cassie, Staci, Marcy, and I would be back for another season.

When the game ends and the final score is posted 107-111 in favor of Duke.

Cassie and Anne have us circle the arena and applaud the crowd and each finds a child to lift up. I brought a child and a parent to center court where we sit together. They happen to be from North Carolina and I’m delighted they are. The three of us had many pictures taken. One sports announcer asks me, “How does it feel to come so far to fall four points short and lose?”

“These children are the winners. She is happily from North Carolina. ‘We were told we could not be competitive, maybe we shouldn’t be on the same court.’ We proved those forecasters wrong. We wanted to show the best of women’s basketball. We played the best game I ever played. We still had a 34-0 season. ”

“You did have an outstanding game, scoring some 17 points; we are told that is your career high.” We began to sit as a team on the court but rise to a standing ovation from the crowd. Duke gladly accepted a trophy showing them 34-0, and NCAA is threatening to cause us to forfeit our first three games of the coming season if we do not accept our defeat.

We maintained we were still an undefeated team; accepting the NCAA will make its own decision. Coach Jessica reiterated the public should vote through the newspapers of the area. We were to stay in the area but rode out after the evening festivities. Our reception back at Philadelphia and Amber was our largest yet to date.

The writers’ poll ratings showed us dead even with Duke, despite the apparent loss. The most telling headline came from the Philadelphia Enquirer pronouncing, AU was the winner in regulation time at 85-78 and was still ahead with a 102-101 lead as our sixth and seventh players, left the game.

Several newspapers renamed Coach Jessica O’Mara as their basketball coach of the year, leaving aside the distinction of gender. They reported over a hundred and a half thousand dollars for each community and another $200,000 for national distribution, as Europe and foreign media markets delayed broadcasts of the game.

I’m anxious to see James and get back to my family but the first night back at AU I spend with Cassie. Despite my rape, I’m keeping myself from James until our wedding night.

James came with a surprise and suggestion. The church, where our wedding was to be, changed our agreement and would only allow Pastor Ramona to be a reader. James’ suggestion is to move the wedding to the St. James Presbyterian Church of Washington Square. We visit the church and it is large enough and could be very nice. It is in good need of restoration, as does much of the community around it. The pastor is willing to allow Pastor Ramona to be the officiating minister. He would participate in the wedding as well.

James suggests we donate $100,000 to begin its restoration. James is surprised only a little when I began to walk the neighborhood. I approach a lumber yard hardware store some four blocks away. A dad and daughter owned the company; I asked about them being able to meet our need for supplies.

It begins a plan to restore a seven-block radius of the church, five blocks north to the tracks. It would take in a synagogue, several churches, a struggling but nice motel, a train line, and three schools. I, commit $50,000 to the church and another twenty-five thousand from earnings with AJEI to the community. That is if we can get the Hamiltons, the churches, and the community behind a unified idea. The Hamiltons are willing to commit another $200,000. The church quickly adopts its plan and received approval from those above them. On paper, it appears a modest venture compared to the need.

It is the weekend after Memorial Day when Marcy and I get to the Kelley reunion. We were warmly received, and while Dougal is well-known he’s no more important than others. Great Aunt Polly is named for the first Poly Kelley. She would share the family story on how Scots and slave blacks came together. It is Thursday when Aunt Polly begins the story. “The first Poly worked in the big house of the plantation under the tutelage of her mother. One of the owner’s sons had just taken to learning sex and getting his fun at her expense. Her brothers and another slave had been planning an escape and she had brought foodstuff for their journey. They were upset she had not brought bread, but fruit and vegetables for the journey. From other reports she had overheard, bread made it easier for hounds to track them down.

They had left just after sundown and because the next day was Sabbath, not all the slaves needed to be accounted for. Her eldest brother was Joe to their masters but Joel to the family. He was strong and fast, the one they would depend on when things got rough. They were miles away but still near routes Joel had known when a sharp branch went through Joel’s foot. Though quickly bandaged the next distance became problematic as Joel was in pain and going lame. It would be difficult enough for them to get back and the men go undetected.

It would be most difficult for Poly to get back unnoticed to her basement room in the Master’s house. If she had been found, she would be whipped and sold to another as was the plantation’s practice. Poly continued to head north expecting the other brother and another slave to be with her. Riders came and she was quickly separated and on her own, but that was not for long.

It was near dawn when she was going through a marsh creek bottom when she met with two other runaways. One was a man Bartimus and the other a slave woman Sadie that he loved. Poly having food helped to clinch a relationship. That day they traveled ever so slowly and cautiously through the swamp. Come afternoon, others knew some slaves were on the run north.

Barking hounds, burning torches, angry voices, and the occasional shot of a rifle became too common. The bounty hunters had found some; the grief and horror were painful to hear. The good news, it was not them. Whence shopping Poly had listened in ignorance to stories of runaway slaves, seemingly not all white churchgoers believed in owning slaves. Their communities or people were often a bit isolated from some of the others. Often a single candle lit at night marked a safe stop on the way north.

It would be three more days before such a place would be found. The underground railroad was not a train at all. They had eaten but a few berries here and chewed on some roots and bark to keep their stomachs from growling and cramping.

Aunt Polly stopped the story for the night. Marcy and I were fed and slept with other women listening to the story. By the time we woke the next day the gathering was half again larger as the day before. Marcy and I ate and made our way back to Polly. She was just beginning back into the story. While people were free to come and go, others would come, but almost everyone who started to listen stayed.

“The woods they were traveling in were alongside fields. Tobacco crops were of no help but an apple tree and potato plants did provide some food. While the man climbed and got some apples, Poly went to one hill of potatoes after another reaching underneath and pulling up one or two potatoes. She had nine, one each to eat now and two to carry. Rains would come, most small and short, but one was long and harsh. Each left them cold, damp, and gathered together to keep some warmth. Two nights they hid in pits beneath dirt, leaves, and branches with dogs and men with torches passing within a short distance. That allowed them to make out their hunters' speech. One camp of slave hunters was made but thirty feet away, within a few feet was where the trackers took to relieving themselves. Otis and Poly would carry some of the stench on their clothes.

The fourth, no the fifth day, they came to a homestead with a candle in a window, but no one felt safe to ask for help. Early the next morning the farmer woke up extra early and discovered their presence. He had a rifle but he had no intention of using it unless provoked. We were given bread, cheese, and an egg. Only a few shells remained when finished.

We were advised to stay on the edge of the woods and not to begin travel until nightfall or the next day. The couple made a picnic late that day and ate near to where we were. We each had a bite of chicken and a piece of apple pie.

We washed with muddy water and moldy leaves to take away the scent of home-prepared food. We were in Virginia and as long as the sun or the moon would show north was easy to tell. Once we walked on a road going north for quite a few hours getting off when we heard a horse or wagon in one direction or another. But the last time we stopped, clouds and fog covered the sky for a full day and night. Though we traveled some, come the close of the day, came we realized we had been traveling more west than north.

Little could we tell if those looking for runaways were looking for us or others? It would make little difference if we were found. We had now been traveling for at least ten days when Otis went for food and did not return. We heard dogs and shots off in the distance. Sadie wanted to wait and see if he would return. She wants Otis to return, as she was scared, not use to being on her own. She had always taken orders and was not used to making decisions.

She was not dumb, nor weak in strength, but she did lack courage and the willingness to make decisions. I wasn’t proud that I pulled her hair to get her to follow me. I felt bad but it was not safe to leave her behind. Our clothes bore little resemblance to what they had been. What was left of our skirts clung to our legs; what was white was now brown and green with stains of dirt, grass, and leaves.

While we were close to Mary Land, it was not known as a safe state. The place north of that was needed for any sense of safety. Poly did not know the size of things, how far they had traveled or how far was needed to go. Riders with dogs and chains actually appeared more common. Later Poly learned they were the last effort to capture slaves seeking to make their way to freedom. Seemingly it was too close to freedom for some to go back. One black woman tried crossing a road ahead of us, and when spotted she tried to outrun the bullets and the dogs.

She was no more than a hundred yards away when dogs brought her down. She did not think she would succeed but she would rather be dead than a slave. She was not much when the dogs were through with her, but the bundle in her arm was seen as a prize to her trackers. It was a baby but a few days to a week old. It was unharmed but destined to be a slave.

The trackers would get a bounty for her corpse, but her baby would bring more being sold new instead of being returned. Sadie and Poly cried a river of tears but no sound did they make. It was a few hours before dawn and a mile or two away from that we crossed that road on an isolated hill and turn.

We were over a mile away when shots rang out and dogs began to bark. We were not sure but afraid that dogs had discovered our scent. We were up and running on the edge of some woods and fields. Poly could have gone faster but that would mean leaving Sadie behind. She could have taken the lead, but as of yet, she was not willing. We were not sure it was us they were coming for. We came to a river which was a hundred feet wide. Who knew how deep or strong it was. It seemed the wrong thing to do but Poly insisted they not cross over but enter and walk in the water till they were further upstream.

They had managed to make a bend in the river before those in pursuit found where we entered in. They crossed the stream and when they did not find where we came out. The riders made their way downstream on both sides of the river. They were sure no dumb slave would have taken to running up the river.

Well, Poly did and continued to do so until we approached narrow rapids in the river. Then they crossed over but went for away in the river before they came out onto the bank. The accent of the people had changed, but we were not sure what that meant. That night riders with torches showed once again on the roads, but others were angry to see them. Seemingly we were in a free state but not yet a safe place.

It was not yet a good time and would prove more trouble than normal for arriving. Sadie and Poly were both in the midst of the flow of their periods. The morning had broken an hour before as they continued to make their way north. Some people had seen them scurry across a road but paid no mind.

Except for one time when one man shot in the air. He was a low life looking for easy money. Poly and Sadie were back on the run and had gone through more than one field. They could hear dogs and horses coming. When they came to an opening at a farmstead and the man Poly ran into was broad and strong, his head and beard glow a dark red. Was he a devil or angel, she was not sure as she fell back.

He smiled and told them to get into the house as he said other strangers are coming in. He was not yelling at us, but the trackers. Once into the house, a man asked my name. He threw me some pants and a shirt when I said “Poly”.

He went outside and told Red my name. I quickly changed as the man came to get me. “Poly, please trust us,” he said. Red called me to him as the men rode up; he snuggled me as the love of his life.

The lead tracker told another to grab me, but Red yelled and stood his ground in front of me. “Now, my name is Kelly and ye will not grab my bride!” Guns were drawn on both sides.

The lead tracker yelled, “We have the numbers and the experience to use our guns, the girl is a slave and the law says she’s ours to take back.” Red spoke up, “Well I guess you cannot count how many brothers and cousins are in the fields. But I reckon if one of you gets off your horse or makes the wrong move we will find out.”

“You are bluffing,” was the reply.

“Throw down your guns and back away.” Red walked up to one rider and pulled him down. “You look as tough as any man in your group, would ye agree.” When the man agreed, Red told him to defend himself, but it was more a beating than a fight. Red not only beat him to the ground, but he pounded him until a rib broke.” The men rode away swearing they would be back.

Red called Poly and Sadie and quickly suggested the idea of marrying him as the pastor had been gone for seven months. Red shared with Poly, while he really did love her he did not have time for a long courtship. If we are married no one would ever take you from me.”

She asked, “Could you help us to travel north if not?”

He said, “Yes, but I would not be around to protect you.”

Polly asked, “If I married you would you protect Sadie or help her get away?”

“I could, but I have two brothers, one of them would be safer.” There was a wedding late that day to Douglas (Red) and Sean, they were recorded as happening four and five months earlier. Early the next day the slave trackers were back with an area marshal. The marshal tried to serve papers and take Poly but Douglas shared “My wife is going nowhere, if there is a decision to be made, it will be here.”

The Marshall said, “But I have a paper that says she is a slave and must go back.”

Douglas said, “I need to know when she ran away?” Quietly telling the Marshal, “She has been my wife for four months. When did this slave run away or the other woman?”

The marshal answered that she had run away almost three months ago and they both need to go back to their owners.”

Sean answered, “Marshal with all due respect, one has been my wife for five months and one has been Douglas’ wife for four months and I am not allowing a judge in some southern state determine whose she is. You better go back to Fort Pittsburg for a judge. We will not allow our wives to be taken; one may already be with child.”

The marshal agreed to go and come back. The trackers said they did not intend to wait more than a week. Douglas and Sean knew they would be back yet that day after the marshal left.

The Kelleys were a clan; Poly and Sadie were now a part of it. Pastor Paul and Douglas had talked of such a time and their agreement to be united with God’s blessing. They had sent Douglas’ sister, Donella for the wandering pastor to record the names and dates of their marriage in his record book. And ask him to come in due time. The Kelleys were gathered at two of the homesteads when the slave trackers came back and while there were six Kelley men, the trackers had brought an extra eight guns with them bringing their total to sixteen. The lead tracker, Jeremiah introduced himself, and as a faith fearing man he swore he was not going back without the _____ slaves.

Douglas called Poly to him and shared she was to go nowhere but the house. “Ye be good to be ye fearin’ because you will be shot dead before ye get your gun raised.” He did reach for his gun and was shot from his horse. Three other trackers went for their guns and Douglas shot one and wounded another of the trackers in the leg. Six of the eight trackers were dead or wounded, and the others who came with them had dropped their guns or runoff.

Douglas and Sean pulled the other two down, roughed them up took their guns, and had them load the hurt and the dead on three of the horses. “Take your guys and don’t bury them until you’re where you are welcome...

Brewster, ye and your friends were smart enough not to draw your guns; the next time ye be wise to be on our side or be bleedin’ terminal like. We will keep your guns and horses safe in case ye think of doing something stupid and someone else gets killed. Are we in agreement?” The trackers weren’t able to leave until they agreed with the keeping of the guns and horses.

Douglas was smart enough to know he did not want any horse-stealing charges brought against him. After the trackers left, he convinced Brewster and friends to sign papers about the events of the day. Within three years David the youngest of the Kelley brothers has married an educated black woman from Pittsburg.

Douglas, Poly, and friends, before the civil war, had gone deep into the south and arranged the freedom of ten slaves, mostly elderly or young children, usually helping one or more to escape to freedom when they came back north.

It was late Friday afternoon when Aunt Polly finished the story into the seventh generation. Dougal like three before him was named for Douglas, but no one was given the formal spelling of the name. Such was the case with Aunt Polly and others named for the matriarch of the family. The marshal did return with a judge, but by that time Pastor Paul Kraal had been back and documented the wedding as well as Brewster’s written testimony settled the matter to the judge’s satisfaction.

Aunt Polly was Dougal’s aunt, a matriarch in the family, and one of the keepers of the story. She was now visiting with Marcy and me, both of us liked history, stories, and our team’s connection to Dougal.

Aunt Polly found it interesting that the Caucasian of the two was the one invited to become a member of the Kelley family. Though Marcy was likely willing, I was the one being suggested and at least two people in the family had to make the request. Over all the years I was the seventh to be so recommended.

I was now wondering who besides Dougal would find interest in recommending me. Polly shared that among others, she, Dougal’s daughter Susan and Abigail Scott were those who recommended me. Abby, Abigail Scott was an engineering student who had just graduated from Amber. We had once been study partners. We were good friends and I well respected her abilities. She had not yet arrived at the gathering. Some of the Scottish games were being set up.

It was suggested that I might like to familiarize myself with the course for the Poly/Sadie Run which covered a three-mile course. It included a varied terrain, obstacles plus people and dogs to be avoided. Younger members of the family were taken on the course to help them appreciate better the journey to freedom of their ancestors. Many from the family would travel the path like a walk in history.

They had built a hall on the campgrounds that biannually acted as a memory exhibit. Dougal was cited several times as were many men, women, and even a few youths currently living. High standards of character, academics, and citizenship were expected and none gave in itself for recognition.

While family members limited in ability were recognized for lesser accomplishments. It would take a Special Olympics member, ten state or national citations to make a wall of honor. The more we journeyed around the campground, visited, and heard stories, the more Marcy and I understood the honor of being welcomed into the family. What I did not know, though Marcy did, I was also under consideration for the hall of memories. From asking Uncle Dougal not to be involved in apprehending my assailants to the environmental and impact on jobs and opportunities as they related to Bethlehem Steel and aiding children were being offered as reasons for my recognition.

Some thought it unusual that a white woman would find it an honor to be a member of such a diverse family. While I first wondered why Dougal seemed to avoid me. I came to recognize he wanted me to know the family and them me without him. We were up Saturday for breakfast and a time of meditation and remembrance.

The family was diverse in its understanding and practice of faith, but the importance and binding force of faith were held by most. I had wished Pastor Ramona could have experienced this moment. The women sharing in the run began. There were just over 20 of us running the full race and we would have staggered starting times. I made it to one point near the presence of hounds and I varied my route there. Another woman ahead of me saw my success and suggested I go back and lead others through it.

My spirit of competition wanted to run it as a race, but there was a higher call to learn, the Kelley lesson. It was not until all the runners came through was it wise or considerate for me to continue.

Poly was both helpful and blessed by sharing her journey with Sadie. I had a quarter mile detour from the path I first knew and I benefited by someone who helped me. When she completed her run she continued with me on my second trip around. I was tired and emotionally exhausted when I finished the course just after 11:30. But Polly and Dougal reminded me I was not running for my life.

What they did not know was the threat of the dogs and trackers had sparked flashbacks of my abduction and rape. That I cried and shared with Marcy, she brought in Susan and Abigail to comfort me. Two of my black sisters shared histories of rape and abuse as well.

It was fun to watch many of the Scottish/Black games as well as take time in food preparation. Wanting a recipe, was to volunteer in making it or something else. Most of all I was envious of those who wore the Kelley plaid of black, gold, orange, tan, yellow, brown, green, red and white. No one would share about how to purchase items until I was closer to leaving. There was a Kelley store. I knew they had and were selling the clothing.

Dougal did sit me down and explained the thread and clothing pieces. More than one showed with pride the quality and design woven into the various pieces. Sunday morning came and the time of faith and reflection was attended by all. It was interesting blend Black, Scottish and contemporary influences. There was a presentation of the colors for which seven of us were called forward, five by marriage had come into the family over the past two years. One was just now accepting his place into the family and then there was me. I suspect each person joining found their part to be special. Marcy was given a purse along with me and they greatly appreciated she had come. I was also given a sash and Scottish cap. I felt honored yet disappointed as I was sitting back down. Others in the family were given complete outfits. I understood and accepted that I was the new one entering into the family.

Aunt Polly called me back up and asked why part of me was sad, but I was reluctant to say. “Come, daughter, you need to be both strong and honest.” I broke down in tears as confessed being selfish, wanting a full outfit. “It would hurt us as well as you if you were not fully received, but disappointment and yearning are also part of our experience.”

She, Susan and Dougal’s wife Dara brought the remainder of my Kelley clothes. I received a satin blouse along with a regular blouse, a long skirt as well as the traditional kilt. Dara took me to put on my Kelley colors. I went sobbing like a little girl overwhelmed with joy and humility. I felt good. We were blessed with a fourth day because it was their 130th. They took a lot of time just to be family. I walked the hall of reflections and memories and found myself taking three hours. Dougal spent much of the day with me, introducing me to his immediate family and close relatives.

Marcy and I collected our things and said emotion filled good-byes.

I had six days before beginning my advanced engineering course Dr. Donnell. I had work projects, my wedding preparations and time with friends, family, and James to pack within that time. I also met Cal again and saw more of Callie as she called herself. She spoke of another student Sally, Sal.

James and I spent two of my days together at Washington Square, at the St. James Church and the surrounding community. Even now more people, though not yet many, were becoming believers and invested in the transformation of the twenty-five block area.

James asked for and received the support of a dozen vets to live within the community. A gang had tried to rape a teenage girl while we were there and the vets served notice; it was no longer life like usual. While three gangs claimed parts of the area there were two dominant gangs over most of it. One was responsible for the attack on the girl and beating her friend. The Vets caught them within 3 blocks and used them to call the two gangs together. It took a little force and the damaging of a vehicle of each to get their attention.

The gangs were surprised that we were requesting their help for our wedding and to make the Square a safe place. The end of our second day there was a basic agreement which would be tested and take time to establish. We managed to do some cleaning, measuring and ordering of supplies for St James. The lumberyard began to see our commitment with our order and a spark of spirit in the community.

The motel had redone three of its rooms; we had stayed in one of them. I am told there were many more workers the following weekends. Twenty of the three dozen rooms were to be done by the end of the summer.

The pastor had called Ramona and scheduled to meet with her. We received a call from the other church, angered over our ‘petty’ grievance as they were now willing to talk. We could lose our $500 deposit but our decision had been made and was final. Neither the pastor nor the St. James Church backed down from the pressure the first brought upon them. My home church, as well as influence from Philadelphia and Boston and within the city, brought needed support to pacify the situation in New York City.

The attention Washington Square was getting from the support of Vets gained favorable media attention. The area synagogue and churches from three different denominations were also gaining support for renewal in their congregations.

James, Cassie, and Monica Morgan became strong compassionate forces as I worked through my rape and nightmares.

I would spend a number of nights up with Cassie and Anne. The Red Tent was also a sanctuary of sorts. I remembered one critical night struggling and found myself in Cassie’s arms seeking to nurse through her pajamas. When I woke, I was embarrassed. Cassie took pulled me back to her. I fell asleep in her arms. It would be my last great night of such anguish.

Class on Monday was like the drawing of lines, Dr. Strassman was emphatic that the best would work hard to get a B and others would struggle to pass. He served notice that those passed with a C would be wise to take it over with another professor. The class has eighteen students and come the end of that first class seven of us gathered about being a study group.

Two are male students; one of them being from Temple. Three of us are AU students. Another is a woman from Rutgers hoping to find a haven with another woman in engineering. Wednesday we knew we could not take the ego of the Temple student, and decided not to have one lone man in our group.

I struggled through for two weeks when a weekend session with James, hitting the books and my study team finally bore fruit. Concepts began to come together. Come to the end of Sunday, I was able to incorporate the understanding into my own terms and expressions.

Come Thursday we began a four-day break for July 4th, with things falling into place. I needed a break yet read enough not to lose what I’ve gained. I took parts of two days for AJEI work, a day off with James and the last to get my head back into studying.

The night of the fourth day, I hope to be with my other friends. Cassie’s getting ready to go out and I’m invited but we both know we need time apart.

When she came back, Cassie said, “I have a lot of pent-up emotions of Brian and now you; you’re not going to get off so easy girlfriend. I don’t know if you ever thought of me as I have you. Have you?”
“You know I have Cassie.”

“No, I don’t, Brian was not one to talk. I knew you were aroused, but I don’t mean just wanting sex.”

Brian’s there but I’m very much Jenny in the present. “That’s why I couldn’t speak, I was afraid you’d think I was being cheap or dumb. Neither of us…”

Cassie has tears in her eyes and her voice is more like the younger Cassie I knew. “You should have told me, you were older and you should have known… The past two years we’ve been playing basketball and I didn’t want to be another girl nor just to play basketball with you. You’d get close to treating me like I wanted and then you’d back off. I’m tired of distractions and being interrupted not tonight. Do you hear me, not tonight?”

Somewhere during orgasm, I became molding clay, moving to her touch as I float down between her legs and enjoy her lips there. She’s hot and moist. I’m guided to find her clitoris as her juices have a sweet presence as she moves to another orgasm. My face is pressed in as her body shakes with enjoyment.

When I woke the next morning I found myself still there. She told me, “We had done more Jenny, but it just happened you was back there when you fell asleep. Your hand and arm were wrapped around my leg. It was nice for both of us.” Cassie reads my face and knows I’m beginning to feel guilty. “Jenny, you need to deal with your feelings, but I’m not here to come between you and James. I love you more as your best girlfriend, even that I share with Anne. I’m not interested in a deeper relationship. You and I have had pent up feelings, for me they had to get a release. I make no apologies, you needed and deserved this.” She was right we both wanted and needed it.

I gave her a hug, “Thank you, I love you and I’ll treasure this time together…

Story to be continued…

Comments and kudos regarding this chapter as especially welcomed...