The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1529 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

I came down as Caroline was finishing with the vacuum cleaner, as she placed it back in the cupboard. “Anything else you’d like me to do?”

“I think the first couple of days are about orientating yourself, finding out where everything is kept and agreeing some sort of rota with Jenny. I’m going to give her the senior position because she has been here a while now.”

“No, that’s fine with me, I have to learn the ropes–will there be enough for two of us?”

“When I go back to work there will, most definitely.”

“I’m looking forward to meeting the rest of the children,” she said naively, I just smiled and hoped Trish behaved herself.

I started the dinner. I’d bought a large chicken which I popped in the oven and began to make some stuffing with real ingredients, not a packet of Paxo–dunno why, I suppose because Simon loves it, and he did put up that beautiful photo of my Billie. Least I suppose it was him.

Jenny drove the Mondeo into the driveway and a host of schoolgirls disembarked and rushed into the house. They came flying into the house because it was raining, and rushed straight into the kitchen.

Livvie was first to hug and kiss me, then Meems, then Trish who’d stopped to take off her raincoat. She came over and hugged and kissed me. “You makin’ real stuffin’?” she asked, seeing me plucking sage leaves off the stalk.

“Yes.” I looked across at Caroline, whom they hadn’t yet noticed.

“Can I ’elp,” Trish asked pulling off her cardigan–it wasn’t cold enough for a blazer yet–and washing her hands.

“I think perhaps some manners are in order.”

“Please can I help?” she asked sounding the aspirate excessively on help.

“Sorry about this–they haven’t seen me for a day and you’d think they’d almost forgotten me.”

“Who you talkin’ to, Mumm...” Trish wheeled round and so did the other two. “Who is she?”

“She?” I said dismissively.

“Yeah, that woman sitting over there?”

Caroline blushed.

“That lady over there is Caroline, who has come to help us round the house, including dealing with you lot.”

“Is she the one who used to be a man?” asked Trish, forgetting her own roots.

“Subtlety is never going to be your forte, is it?” I said back to Trish.

“Did I say something wrong?” she asked, looking bemused.

“Let me say this once. Whatever Caroline used to be, she is now a woman, and you will treat her with the same respect you’d show any other woman staying in this house. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Mummy,” three voices concurred in a rather muted form.

“Go and introduce yourselves to her.”

“Cannive a dwink?” asked Meems.

“In a moment. Go and say hello to Caroline.”

“Do I ’ave to?” she replied.

“Yes–go on.”

“Awwight, keep you knickus on.” The other two started to giggle, but they made their way across to where Caroline was sitting.

“I’m Trish,” said our local genius, offering her hand, “Sorry if I sounded rude–didn’t mean to.”

“Nice to meet you, Trish, and I accept your apology.”

“D’you like physics?”

“I did some in school, why?” Caroline was wondering what was coming next.

“Can you show me–we’re doin’ physics in school an’ I wanna understand it all.”

“What are you doing? Measuring light and heat and things–the basics?”

“Yeah, but I can’t quite understand where Newtonian sort of integrates with Quantum–got any ideas?”

How to establish intellectual superiority in one hit; Caroline looked shocked at her, then across to me. I was sniggering.

“How old are you?” she asked Trish when the shock passed.

“Seven, how old are you?”

“Twenty six.”

“Younger than Mummy. She said she’s too old for all this mathematics stuff.”

“I think I might understand why she said it.” Caroline was still recovering.

“I’m Mima, an I doan wike physics.”

“Pleased to meet you, Mima. What do you like?”

“I wike pwayin’ wiv my dowwies.”

“I like dollies, too.” Caroline was digging her own grave, she’ll be knee deep in dollies in no time if Trish doesn’t blow her mind first.

“I’m Livvie, short for Olivia, which we think is a bit pretentious for a seven year old, don’t you agree?”

“I hadn't even thought about it, Livvie, but if that’s how you feel, that’s fine with me.”

“My father murdered my mum and then hanged himself–are your parents still alive?”

Talk about blitzkrieg–that one shocked me, too.

“Yes they are still alive, but I don’t see them very often.”

“Is that because you’re a transsexual?”

“Livvie, please don’t be so personal,” I said firmly.

“Well, it’s asking a proper question–have you had the op yet? Cathy my new and better mummy, had hers years ago, so she’s a real woman, now–are you?”

I walked over to Livvie and told her to apologise immediately and not to be so rude, or Caroline might not decide to stay.

“I don’t care she,” she said quite coldly.

“You will if we send you to boarding school,” I said with a degree of menace.

“You wouldn’t do that?”

“I’m going back to work, and Jenny can’t cope with all of you on her own, which is why Caroline was kind enough to offer to help look after you. So I think an apology is in order, don’t you?”

“Yeah alright,” she sighed and continued, “I’m sorry, Caroline, you will stay and look after us, won’t you?” She gave Caroline a hug, which was pure manipulation.

“I’ll certainly think about it.” Good for Caroline in not caving into her blackmail.

“Vis is my favowite dowwy,” Mima thrust a doll almost into Caroline’s face, “You can bowwow, vis one.” Another doll was shoved so close as to nearly get stuffed up her nose.

Danny and Simon came in together just as I was finishing the stuffing.

“Hi, Caroline,” said Simon, spotting her sitting in the kitchen, “This is Danny, go and say hello,” he pushed Danny towards our new resident.

“Hi, I’m Danny, d’you like football by any chance?”

“A bit, who d’you support?”

“Chelsea–they’re the greatest.”

“They are indeed,” Caroline agreed tactfully.

“Oh wow, Mum, she supports Chelsea.”

“Game for women,” teased Simon.

“D’you play at all?” asked Danny.

“Meee?” squeaked Caroline.

“Yeah, they have a women’s league here. Trish is quite good, she plays in school.”

“I can’t see me playing football, kiddo.”

“Oh well if you want a kick-about anytime, let me know.”

“Uh–that’s very kind of you, Danny. I’ll let you know if that’s okay.”

“Mum bought me a Chelsea kit last year–she’s ace–isn’t she, Dad?”

“Your mother spoils you all rotten–I keep telling her, spare the rod and spoil the child.”

“She doesn’t go fishing, Dad.”

“Pity, could do with some fresh Tay salmon–nothing quite like it.” With that, Simon wandered off.

Suddenly, Caroline and I were alone. “Sorry, they were all a bit full on, weren’t they?”

“I can understand it to a degree, if they’re not used to transgender people.”

“Um–they have me–or I used to be.”

“I don’t think so, Cathy, you’re something special. Seeing you now, I don’t think you ever were a boy, and let’s face it, thinking about when you were in school–you weren’t really one then either. You’re a really beautiful woman with some lovely kids.”

“Even if they are a bit intrusive,” I added.

“Yeah okay, but they don’t know me yet, do they?”

I thought, no, and neither do I, yet–I hope I don’t regret making the job offer.