The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1559 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

I spent a night in an empty bed, the empty space reminding me what a fool my husband could be. I expected he was staying with Henry and Monica in London, but I wasn’t certain and wasn’t concerned enough to enquire.

I had stormed out of a lunch with the three of them because I considered Henry and Simon were playing silly buggers with Monica and me. They knew the result of the enquiry into the US Bank imbroglio but had chosen to remain mysterious. Unless he came home early the next day, I’d find out from the media what the result had been, in which case he can expect to be blasted when he does get home.

I didn’t sleep very well, tossing and turning imagining different scenarios as a man read a statement from the enquiry team. However, one thing remained firm, my love for the idiot I’d married and my complete support for him.

At seven the next morning I struggled out of bed and into the shower, I dressed for warmth and woke the girls. While they showered and washed each other’s hair, I sorted out vests and slips for them to wear under their uniforms and I told them to wear their black boots as well. The rain lashed at the windows and I unconsciously shuddered as I recollected getting cold and wet going to school. My parents wouldn’t take me in the car, Dad having already gone to his office or current job, and my mother didn’t drive very often and we only had one car.

Wearing a full length coat or using an umbrella immediately gave the wearer/user the same status as an item of defecation. It was a boy’s school and boys are tough–so they thought, unless they had something wrong with them. Then they were bigger drama queens than most girls.

The only time I was able to wear a proper coat to school was during my Lady Macbeth period, and I borrowed Siá¢n’s spare one and used a brolly–we had such fun camping up that whole time. We’d paint my nails garish colours like blue or green which had the teachers reporting me or the headmaster telling me off. However, I’d managed to get a copy of the school’s rules for uniform and presentation, and it said nothing about the wearing of nail varnish. I’m sure the girl’s school did, but I was attending the boy’s one albeit in the girl’s uniform.

After a quick breakfast where I insisted they all had porridge and toast to warm them up, I took the girls to school and Julie dropped off Danny, who I made to take his coat with him. He grumbled and said it could get lost or pinched. I simply replied that it had better not, it wasn’t a cheap one.

Back from the school run, I checked the internet for news of High St Bank and there was nothing. I filled the bread machine and made some tea. Caroline reminded me that I’d had no breakfast, so I had a couple of biscuits with my tea, much to her annoyance.

At eleven I switched on the radio as I did the ironing, we had lift off.

‘The enquiry regarding the purchase of an Amercan bank by High St, has reported its findings. High St were lax in following the proper protocols which landed them with a half billion pounds of debt because the review of the Kansas bank had been falsified. The enquiry reprimanded the director who’d overseen the purchase and the board for not supervising him.

The bank has since tightened up the procedures for acquisitions so this shouldn’t happen again and the director concerned has been moved to another division according to Henry Cameron, the bank’s chairman. A report of the enquiry has been sent to the FSA who may decide to impose fines upon the bank for failure to follow appropriate protocols.’

So to which division had Simon been consigned? I smiled because it sounded as if he’d been playing football–he’s not in the premier league any more, he’s in the fourth division.

“So Simon got a bollocking then?” Caroline said as she brought me more clothes to iron.

“Looks like.”

“But he didn’t tell you yesterday?”

“No, they both kept saying later and I ran out of patience.”

“Don’t blame you, I mean you’d gone specially to support him–and you did look nice.”

“Thank you, Caroline. Want to take a turn at the ironing? I need to get some lunch started–jacket spud okay with you?”

She came round behind the ironing board and nodded. We could decide on fillings later, I had some salad stuff and coleslaw. I’d have tuna but there was cheese and ham as well. Stella loves jacket spuds, so I knew she’d be okay with one, and popped three of them into the oven.

Stella caught up with me while I was hanging clothes in the girl’s wardrobes. “So Si got his knuckles rapped?”

“Looks like. He could be fined as well according to the radio.”

“Unlikely, he was more incompetent than criminal, the FSA will simply uphold the reprimand and acknowledge the fact that the bank has moved him where he can’t do it again.”

“How d’you know?”

“I spoke with Dad’s secretary, Si’s going to head the retail division.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“For him it’s a sideways move, for the punter in the street, it’s probably a good move because he’s quite innovative, so he’ll be working on ways to increase customer bases.”

“What, drumming up new customers?”

“Certainly that; but also getting existing ones to stay and preferably spend more on services.”

We had our spuds for lunch and I did more work on the survey, two more reports of that ring tailed lemur and one of wallabies in Norfolk. I half expect to be told of grizzly bears in the New Forest or unicorns in Savernake. Some of this is just plain bloody daft.

The object is to help us understand the status of indigenous mammals, so to an extent, things like predators or competing aliens can have an effect–just look at the result of domestic cats in towns–they slaughter millions of birds and small furry things, but I suspect the impact on red squirrels is relatively small compared to the impact of the grey squirrel, which has driven the former into relative extinction in places. Mink were another pest and were accused of reducing water vole populations–now we know it isn’t mink who caused it, but destruction or loss of habitat. That doesn’t prevent mink from being a pest who need to be eradicated, but with the return of otters, the mink are thriving less. Otters will kill the smaller alien mustelid, so the return of the otter is helping to show that conservation does have a beneficial result on numerous levels.

I’m still waiting to see an otter in the wild, I’ve seen water vole which are still very endangered cute little things, except the one I saw wasn’t so cute. It had been mangled by a neighbour’s moggie and she brought it in to me to identify it. At that stage it was still just alive, but it expired moments later–like they do. It’s the equivalent of a baby sized human having a cuddle with a hungry, full sized Bengal tiger.

I was about to go to collect the children when a taxi pulled into the drive and Simon alighted from it. He waved at me as I drove out of the drive and I scowled at him. I hope he had asbestos underpants on, because he was gonna need ’em.