The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1541 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

I was still bristling when I got home and to calm myself down called Southampton to see how Jenny was doing. Julie had spoken about going to see her one evening, now she off the danger list, and until my schedule had got derailed with Simon being called to London, I had fully intended to take her.

Thursday is Julie’s late night–they work up until about seven or eight–so it didn’t seem the best one to think about going to the hospital, then I got a text saying, they’d finished early and she was leaving to see Jennie by herself. I sent her a text saying come home and I’ll take you, but the cunning little vixen had switched off her phone.

All I could do was fume and look after the children. I had planned buying fish and chips on the way home, but had desisted so that Julie wouldn’t be left out. After hearing that Jenny had two legs in plaster casts–they’d operated to pin her fractures–I felt that she was doing alright as she was. That coupled with Julie doing her own thing and Simon stuck up in London, made me feel like not cooking–I must have been fed up–so I took Danny with me while the girls organised the table, and we went to the chippie and I bought fish and chips for everyone. I bought mushrooms in batter, mushy peas and baked beans; and for Tom, a curry sauce. I thought only in somewhere like Glasgow would you have fish and chips with curry sauce–so it felt almost acceptable.

After clearing up the mess and binning the wrappers, helped by Caroline, who was either very diligent or trying to make an impression. We finished the kitchen clean up and I told her to finish, that she’d done enough.

“This isn’t work, it’s like being part of a family,” she replied pushing all the right buttons.

“Yeah, but it can get very wearing very quickly.”

“Cathy, look, this is as close as I might ever get to keeping house for children and men–I’m unlikely to ever find someone who accepts me as his wife or partner, or a woman who fancies me.”

“So you’d accept either as a partner?” I was surprised. I suppose, rapt in my own little world, this came as a bit of a revelation. I know Julie enjoys going out with boys and even doing a bit of smooching with them, but I think she sees herself as attracted to women–possibly after her experiences with that excopper who beat her up.

She also had that bad experience with the kidnappers where they sexually assaulted her–so I suppose it’s not surprising she thinks she prefers women to men, I think I might , too.

“I think it’s so unlikely I shall ever find anyone who accepts me, so yeah, I’d live with an accepting dog.”

“There’s one in the conservatory, but her bed might be a bit small for the two of you.”

“Don’t tease me, please. I feel bad enough about things as they are. I see you and Simon together and envy you so much–no, envy is too strong a word, because that implies negative things–no, perhaps it is the right one–I envy you: not the money, although that would be nice; the companionship and contentment . You and Simon really love each other and it shows.”

I felt myself blushing.

“An’ I just feel I’m never going to...” she ran past me and up the stairs.”

“What’s the matter with Caroline, Mummy?” asked Livvie who just been brushed past in the doorway.

“It’s her hormones, I expect,” I said and shrugged.

“People always say that,” she said, “what’s it supposed to mean?”

“It means that most animals, certainly mammals, are sometimes driven by the chemicals that are produced inside them. Sometimes these chemicals happen because things like temperature can set them off, or day length. Some of the chemicals are called hormones, and these can affect the way you feel or act. In women, they have cycles of ovulation, which are controlled by hormones and they can definitely affect how you feel and act.”

“What’s ovulation?”

“It’s the production of an egg being made ready to be fertilised, and if that doesn’t happen it’s ditched, along with the lining of the womb which is what a period is, because the womb bleeds a bit getting rid of the old tissue.” The fact that she looked blankly at me meant I’d just talked over her head again.

“Okay,” she said and wandered off.

“What’s the matter with Caroline?” I heard Trish ask her a moment later.

“Oh she’s got PMS,” said Livvie and I nearly fell off my seat.

Once I stopped laughing, I glanced at the clock–it was nearly nine so I shooed the girls up to bed. I read to them for a short time, sitting where I couldn’t see Billie’s photo so I didn’t get morose and spoil it for the rest of them.

After kissing them all goodnight, I went up to Caroline’s room, I knocked gently and opened the door half expecting to see she’d hanged herself from the light fitting, but she was asleep in bed–or pretending to be.

I came down and did some ironing–it’s pretty mind numbing and less messy than scrubbing the floor. It was now ten, where’s Julie? The phone rang, I almost dropped the iron and ran to answer it.

“Hi, Babes.”

“Hello, darling, how’d it go with Jason?”

“It went reasonably well–I wish I’d had him with me the first time–he was tied up with a big case in Manchester, some Russian oligarch.”

“So you’re hopeful for tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sort of–you can’t really tell until you speak with them.”

“What the tribunal people?”

“Yeah–bunch of old duffers who died years ago but nobody told them.”

“Well, please wait until they clear you before you tell them, won’t you?”

“Yeah okay–everything alright there?”

“I upset Caroline.”

“Doing what?”

“Being married to you?”

“Eh?”

“She feels she’s never going to find anyone.”

“She hasn’t been to the vet yet, has she?”

I snorted, “You mean the plumber?”

“Yeah, whatever–well, she hasn’t has she?”

“Not as far as I know.”

“So, what’s she upset for? If she meets someone as charming as me, she’s not going to be able to do anything about it anyway, is she?”

As this was getting a bit too close to my history, I changed the subject. “I’m a bit worried about Julie.”

“Oh, why?”

“She went to see Jenny by herself, wouldn’t wait for me, and he hasn’t come home yet.”

“Hasn’t she called?”

“No, nor texted.”

“Send her one.”

“I did earlier, little minx has switched her phone off.”

“I expect she’ll be alright, she’s quite resourceful, takes after her mum.”

“Ha ha.”

“I mean it, anyway, I’d better go in case she’s trying to call. Maybe she’s broken down.”

“Oh don’t say that, a girl on her own.”

“She’s got breakdown assistance, hasn’t she?”

“Yeah, but they can take half the night to get there.”

“Cathy, you worry too much–she’ll be alright. Look, I’m gonna go and get an early night–why don’t you do the same?”

“I won’t sleep until she comes home–I’ve lost one child, I’m damned if I’m going to lose another.”

“Keep your hair on, you weren’t the only one to lose a child–remember?”

“I’m sorry,” I sniffed.

“It’s okay, but I miss her too. Now dry your eyes and make yourself a cuppa and she’ll be home before you’ve drunk it, okay?”

“Yes, Si–thanks, I’m sorry I discounted your feelings...”

“Hey, it’s alright. Gotta go, love you, Babes.”

“I love you too,” I said to an empty phone.

“I made some tea and drank it,” I heard Stella go up the stairs to bed calling goodnight as she did.

Tom came and sat with me for half an hour before yawning and taking himself off ‘tae ma pit’.

It was now eleven and I’d run out of ironing and still no sign of Julie. If she gets home safe I’m gonna kill her. I opened up my laptop and dealt with some mammal survey correspondence.