The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1536 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

“She jumped off the motorway bridge?” said Simon almost rhetorically as I’d already told him she had. “They don’t usually survive that, do they?”

“I think that was the general idea, although her luck wasn’t in.”

“Or it was, depending upon your viewpoint,” he challenged me.

“Si, if she survives, and it’s only if; she is going to possibly be crippled and in pain for the rest of her life.”

“They can perform miracles these days with surgery and pain relief.”

“Si, they can’t do a proper repair of a herniated disc–they can’t cure a common cold, so what chance a totally shocked and smashed body. She looked as if she’d caught the express to London and every wheel had gone over her.”

“Oh–can’t you help her?”

“I’ve just spent most of the night there, with Julie’s help trying to help her–keeping her alive–because without that fundamental, the rest of healthcare seems somewhat irrelevant, doesn’t it?”

“Would they notice?”

“Ken Nicholls would, he’s pretty on the ball. It was on his say so that I was allowed to sit with her.”

“Yeah, he seems a nice guy.”

“Like many other dedicated health professionals, he works his socks off trying to keep people alive and well.”

“Yeah, okay, I knew I shoulda done medicine–ever since I watched Dr Kildare repeats, I shoulda realised the doctor always gets the girl.”

“Oh thanks, Si, now you’ve really made my day.”

He blushed and looked rather sheepish, “I didn’t mean it like that, honest, Cathy–I got the girl, what meant was had I been some dashing quack, I’d have got you sooner.”

“No you wouldn’t, some nurse would have grabbed you, got herself preggers and you’d have been stuck working to support her and her copious offspring for the rest of your life.”

“I might have done an abortion instead of marrying her.”

“Perhaps it’s just as well you became a banker then.”

“Yeah, screwing Joe public, much more fun than healing them–I’ll leave that to you and Ken Nicholls.”

“If I thought for one moment that that statement was true, I’d have been out the door and you’d never have got within a mile of me.”

“I was joking–why do you take things so seriously?”

“Si, I’ve had a hard day, I’m exhausted, and I’m going to bed.” I put my cup down and followed Julie’s example of going upstairs. She’d gone pretty well straight to bed. I checked on her while Si made the tea and she was in bed and asleep. I also checked on the others, they were also asleep, but the portrait of Billie made me choke up for a moment.

I checked them again, they were all still asleep. I looked in at Julie, she turned her head to look at me. “Hello,” she said sleepily.

“Hi, darling, I just thought I’d see how you were.”

“I’ve been asleep, I think, been dreaming about Jenny, and why she did what she did–she should have come and spoken to you, shouldn’t she?”

“Yes, but given her situation, that would have taken a great deal of courage.”

“And jumping off a bridge doesn’t?”

“That’s a different sort of courage, darling. It requires you to be brave for a few seconds once you’ve made the commitment. Living with the shame or disgrace of stealing and betraying someone’s trust might take a lifetime commitment to repay or try to repair that trust.”

“You don’t half think deep at times, Mummy, gives me a headache listening to it. But we helped her tonight, didn’t we?”

“We certainly tried to show her that we loved her and that love is unconditional.”

“Can she come back to work for us?”

“I don’t know if that will be possible.”

“So you lied to her–you told her she could.”

“If she was able to work here again, I’d be delighted to have her back–we don’t know if she’ll ever walk again–she might still die. She could have brain damage or be crippled in some other way.”

“Shouldn’t we have helped her die then, if life is gonna be so bad for her?”

“I let the energy do its own thing, darling, if it had decided to let her die, then it would have been what was needed.”

“I don’t want her to die, Mummy. It’s bad enough losing Billie, I couldn’t stand losing Jenny as well.”

“Perhaps that’s why she didn’t die, to spare us the pain of it.”

“But she’s going to be in pain, possibly for the rest of her life, isn’t she?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh my God, she could be a cabbage, couldn’t she, just lying there unable to do anything for herself. If she is, I swear I’ll finish her off.”

“And ruin your life too? How d’you think the rest of us would feel about that?”

“But you couldn’t let her live like a vegetable, could you?”

“I hope and pray that doesn’t happen. I do know that whatever happens, she’s going to need long term care and we don’t have facilities to provide that.”

“But you lied to her, you said she could come home.”

“In trying to heal her, yes, I said some things which might not be true.”

“So what’s going to happen to her?”

“I don’t now, but we’ll all do our best to help her as much as we can–agreed?”

“You bet–and I still want her home–home here, that is.”

“I know that, and I’d love you have that wish fulfilled, but we have to deal with a real world.”

“Sod that, I’m going to do all in my power to help her.”

“Right, well the first stage there is to get back to sleep because you have work in the morning.”

“Maybe I’ll go sick.”

“You have clients booked?”

“Yeah.”

“You must go–you have people relying upon you–if you can’t help them, how can you possibly show yourself capable of helping Jenny?”

“But that’s...”

“Go back to sleep, I’m sorry I disturbed you.” I closed her door and went down to the bedroom, Si was in bed reading my Cycling Weekly.

“Where have you been?”

“I checked on the kids, Julie was awake and we talked a little, why?”

“Did you see the article in the Guardian about Cav becoming a dad?”

“Doubtless he’ll do that with the same intensity he does everything else.”

He gave me a very questioning look but decided not to say anything, about which I was glad.

“What would you like for your birthday?”

“What?” I couldn’t believe how mundane he’d got and still coming down from my high drama, was unprepared for it.

“What would you like for your birthday–simple enough question.”

“I know that! Okay, you want to know what I’d really like for my birthday? I’d like my daughter back and I’d like my help to fully recover from her injuries, that’s what I’d like.” I went into the bathroom and sitting on the loo burst into tears–I felt like jumping off a bridge–the Severn Bridge and hoped they’d never ever find the body.