The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1525 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

I woke feeling so much better in myself. I remembered I’d seen Billie in my dream and we hugged before she disappeared with some woman who said she was looking after her. Total nonsense of course–life after death–I mean. When your number’s up, that’s it, curtains–probably of the crematorium.

Talking of that sort of thing, I had a vague recollection that the woman in my dream said Billie had an aneurysm or weakening of the wall in a blood vessel in the brain. Now did the accident cause it or was it there before?

It was eight o’clock and I’d eaten my toast, drunk a pot of tea, showered and was starving. I dashed off to the local Tesco, it opens all night so getting some fruit and some more milk plus a packet of porridge oats, was no problem. By eight forty five I was finishing my second breakfast and feeling as full as a pig. Do pigs eat that much? I had no idea.

I phoned the QA and asked to speak to Dr Rose. Amazingly he was there and not seeing patients. “What can I do for you, Cathy?”

“Exactly what brain injury did my Billie suffer?”

“She had multiple injuries and two major bleeds, she’d also broken her neck. Death would have been more or less instantaneous.”

“Was there an aneurysm?”

“Yes, how d’you know about that?”

“And was that caused by the accident?”

“No, it had probably been there for years, if not birth.”

“So she could have died at any time?”

“Very possibly, why?”

“You probably won’t believe me but for some time I’ve been having weird dreams, and they featured a woman creature who claimed to be the Shekinah.”

“You hobnob with the gods, do you?”

“Just one. She told me she had caused me to be able to heal but she always wanted something from me which I refused to give.”

“What was it?”

“She just wanted to control me, and threatened to kill someone close to me if I didn’t do as she wished.”

“And this was the Shekinah?”

“So it claimed.”

“Strange–oh well it’s all Old Testament if not pre-then.”

“Last night I had another dream and this lady was so different to the other one and she told me she was the Shekinah, and this time I believed her. She told me Billie was going to die anyway, but she let me say good bye to my little girl.”

“You said goodbye to her?”

“Yeah, I know–all in my stupid head–but it felt so real.”

“What else did she tell you?”

“She said she’d look after Billie, she also told me the other woman was the Lillith, whatever that is?”

“Traditionally, the first wife of Adam who was banished, and became a female demon–if you believe that sort of thing.”

“I don’t, but apparently if she appears again I can get rid of her, according to the woman last night.”

“Where did all this take place?”

“Oh, I don’t know some place full of sunlight, after I went through a curtain.”

“Tipparet.”

“Tip who?”

“The place where you were, according to the Kabbalah.”

“But that’s Jewish?”

“So, all the stuff you’ve been experiencing is Jewish mysticism, based on the Tree of Life, just be thankful you weren’t in Gevurah.”

“She mentioned that.”

“She did?”

“Yes, when I’d had to hurt people who were threatening me or mine. She likened it to cause and effect, if you’re bad you get punished.”

“So you were the punisher?”

“Yeah, seems like.”

“Strange.”

“Yeah to the power of ten.”

“Hold on, Cathy–yeah, give me two minutes. I have to go young lady. Perhaps we can talk about this again.”

“If I remember any of it. It was so intense–the aura that woman had–amazing.”

“Cathy, you have just looked on the face of God–most people die or become insane after that sort of experience.”

“Why? She was lovely.”

“You truly are special, young lady. Try and remember what happened, you have been truly blessed. I have to go.”

I put down the phone and made more tea. One of us was wrong, on one level part of me hoped it was Sam–there is no God–so it couldn’t happen. Then if he was right, I had God’s sister/wife/feminine side come and visit me with Billie, and she promised to look after my little scamp. What on earth is going on in my head?

I must have read about all this stuff years ago and forgotten–that had to be the answer–yeah it had to be. Why would God come to see me, in whatever sort of mode He was in? It makes no sense whichever way you look at it. There is no God, right? So why would his tranny side come and see me? Nah, it’s all in my head–except the blue light. Where does that come from? I felt a chill run down my spine–thinking about all this superstitious crap–that’s what it is–maybe Sam was right, and now I’m going to go bonkers.

I drank some more tea and it was time to lock up and go and collect Caroline. I’d sent Jenny a text asking her to make a loaf for lunch and to stop Simon eating it before then. I had one or two bits in the fridge and I’d bought one or two bits as well, so could knock up a tasty soup in half an hour, which with fresh bread–should be good.

“This car looks nicer every time I see it,” admired Caroline as we dumped her cases in my boot. “A white Jaguar, so romantic.”

“It doesn’t half show the dirt,” I said not really being sure of that because I hadn’t had it with me long enough to find out, there was always something happening to it. Caroline got into the car and I, on a whim, imagined I was casting a cover of the blue light all around and about it. I wondered if that would make any difference–if not it can’t do any harm.”

We drove through Bristol chatting and then got down to the roundabout to join the M4 and head east. As we did so, a huge articulated lorry, you know one with more wheels than a bike shop, came screaming at us, through a red light. I somehow stalled the car and for a moment I thought I’m going to be with Billie and I felt totally at peace. I closed my eyes and waited for the impact. It didn’t happen. I thought I must be dead and not noticed departing my body.

I opened my eyes and Caroline looked horrified. The lorry had stopped about a centimetre from us, just behind the overtaking mirrors. The driver got out, looked at how close he was, waved to us, reversed back and drove off before the police came.

Someone behind us beeped at us, so I started up the car and pulled away. Some ten or fifteen minutes later, Caroline said, “Can we stop at the services, I think I might need to change my knickers."