Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1516

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike)
Part 1516
by Angharad

Copyright © 2011 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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I duly attended my appointment with Dr Thomas and we discussed my recent experience in detail and she decided to try some relaxation with me. She asked me what the most ridiculous thing a man could wear would be. I hesitated because I couldn’t think of anything. In the end, just for something to say, I said, "Stockings and suspenders."

“Okay, I want to imagine you’ve woken up with a man sitting behind you in your car wearing stockings and a suspender belt. He has a silly hat on his head and in his hand he carries a banana.

“He threatens you with the banana which he says is loaded, and you tell him to split.”

I sniggered.

“He threatens you again, and this time you jump out of the car and run away to a safe distance. He struggles out of the car to chase you but he can’t catch you, can he?”

“No.”

“Why is that?”

“He can’t run in the stilt high heels he has on.”

“Does he look ridiculous?”

“Yes, he does. The hat is like a witch’s hat, with a flower sticking out of the top of it.”

“Does he frighten you?”

“Not really he looks like something out of a comedy show.”

“Can he hurt you?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Anything else you want him to do to him to make sure he can’t hurt you?”

“Yes, make him two inches tall.”

“Okay, as soon as he starts to chase you, he shrinks to two inches tall. What happens next?”

“He meets next door’s cat.”

“Okay, he meets your neighbour’s cat.”

We ran through the scenario of me waking to find this weirdo in my car and me running away only to watch him shrink and be splattered by next door’s tabby.

“If you find yourself thinking about the incident again, try and remember how we changed him into something that can’t hurt you ever again.”

“I know, he’s dead, so he can’t hurt me–but he might have friends.”

“From what you told me, the object was to try and destroy the evidence that your husband was bringing back to England. He’s presumably taken that to the bank and their legal team will help to place it before the appropriate authorities. So their efforts would now be a waste of time and risk. I can’t believe they’d still be after you.”

“I still have to make a proper statement, I was too upset yesterday.”

“I’m not surprised–but you did marvellously to escape him.”

“I didn’t mean to stick it in his eye, that was horrible and I’ll remember his screams as long as I live.”

“It was the risk he ran by trying to hurt you or Simon. That you were so resourceful when most hostages would have just done as he told them, shows he underestimated you and your ability to defend yourself. He got his just deserts. You have no need to feel sympathy for him he was probably going to kill you. You didn’t kill him, the police did after he tried to kill them. What you did was self-defence. You should feel proud of yourself, not anything negative. Your quick thinking and resourcefulness saved your life and possibly that of Simon and other bystanders.”

“A man still died though, didn’t he?”

“Being an assassin is a dangerous occupation, he assumed the risk from you was low–his wrong decision cost him his life.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“What if he killed all those people you told me about in Kansas City? Do you feel so badly about bringing about his apprehension?”

“I don’t know.”

“If it wasn’t him, then it was one of his friends–hopefully the American authorities will track them down and apprehend them.”

“Yeah, I hope so.”

“If he had shot or hurt Simon, or worse, one of your children, and you survived, what would you do then?”

“I honestly don’t know. If I was angry, I suppose I’d be capable of anything, so I might avenge my family–I don’t know.”

“You did what was necessary and should feel no guilt. Let it go, Cathy, and see him for what he was, a lowlife who got his just deserts.”

I thanked her, made an appointment for the following week and went home feeling exhausted. Simon was home when I got there so after I’d had a cuppa and made a fuss of the children, he told me about the enquiry.

It was quite an ordeal, not helped by the fact that we’d been up half the night and him having to deal with a hysterical wife and her nightmares. I added that bit. He did tell them of the bombing and the attack on me and what could well have been an attack on him.

The enquiry was very sympathetic, having heard about the incident at Heathrow, and the chairman asked him to convey his regards to me and his admiration in my dealing with the attacker.

It seems if I heal someone, the press are after me; if I hurt someone everyone tells me what a good girl I am. So if I hurt them and then heal them, everyone should approve–what a stupid idea?

Simon presented the evidence that he’d been able to collect from the auditor, who’d perished in the bombing. Someone placed a bomb in his office, under his desk. He died instantly.

I asked him I should change the car as it seemed full of bad luck, he told me not to be silly, he’d also arranged for the police to let a valeting firm know when they’d finished with it and he’d have it cleaned for me, inside and out. I thanked him and asked how long he thought it would take for all that to happen. He shrugged and said he didn’t know. He had, however, arranged the hire of a car for me, a Vauhall Safira or something, which had seven seats or something similar. Might be more useful than the Jag, but don’t tell him.

“So did the enquiry exonerate you?” I asked him.

“They have to mull it over and decide. They’ll let me know within two weeks.”

“Oh great, so you’re suspended for two weeks?”

“Three, actually. Dad went ballistic when he learned I’d been in the States.”

“I’ll bet he’d have done the same, “ I postulated.

“Yeah, he did actually say that, but I disobeyed his instructions so have to take the consequences. On the other hand, he decided that because of your devotion to duty as their environmental adviser and in protecting the life of one of their directors and the evidence he was carrying, you should be in for a good bonus at Christmas.”

“I don’t need a bonus, Simon. I got you back in one piece, that’s all I ever wanted out of this.”

“Are you sure?”

“Why?”

“I’ll tell him to pay the bonus into my account instead then.”

“What–my bonus?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You’ll do no such thing.”

“Why not, if you don’t want it?”

“Because I said so–how much is it likely to be?”

“About a hundred grand, why?”

I felt the room spinning.

“Cathy, Cathy wake up, it’s not that much money. Cathy...

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