(aka Bike) Part 1403 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad
All Rights Reserved. |
Billie trotted along behind me to the car, then got in behind me and pulled on her seat belt. She said nothing all the way home which suited me fine. I was trying to get my head round the dilemma of being special to some obscure Hebrew goddess. As I did the old epithet, Those whom the gods love, die young, kept slopping about my remaining brain cells. I didn’t feel particularly afraid because I suspect it’s another mythology, and besides how can a mythical entity harm anyone?
Despite my apparent nonchalance, what Sister Maria had said concerned me. I didn’t understand the blue light or from whence it emanated, let alone why it chose me–I mean, special yeah, but no more than the other few thousand transsexuals in this country–are they being threatened by a goddess? I doubt it.
I need to talk to someone who might understand my dilemma without any judgementalism, and I think I know who. I reassured myself that I was responding responsibly to Maria’s warning, because that’s what it was. I felt silly doing anything other than dismissing it, but what if she was right?
I’d wait and see what this other person thought. We arrived home and Billie went to change into her own clothes while I explained what had happened and put her soiled uniform in the washing machine.
They were all relieved to see her safely home and made a fuss of her, but she wanted to go and lie down–she did promise she wouldn’t run off again or do anything to hurt herself–the incident with her headmistress had shocked her somewhat–she wasn’t the only one.
I explained what had happened and how after apologising to the police for her aberrant behaviour, I had a chat with Sister Maria.
“So the blue light triumphs again?” smiled Simon.
“By itself, no, that required the connivance of Sister Maria who doubtless will go to confession for telling porkies.”
“If she hadn’t, you could have been done for murder.”
“I know, I could have had fourteen years to think about things in between slopping out.”
“How about we all go out for dinner to celebrate the return of the lamb who was lost and my wonderful wife?”
“Who was equally lost–by all means you go, but I’ll stay home with Billie and the babies. I’m really not hungry anyway.”
“Okay, I’ll go and get a Chinese for those of us who are hungry.” He called up the local takeaway, and made his order–then set off to collect it.
I checked on Billie, she was fast asleep, then after showering to remove the debris of the day, I changed into some jeans and a tee shirt and went to phone someone from my study, closing the door after me.
“Cathy, what a lovely surprise–how is married life suiting you?”
“Um–it’s okay I guess, same as before with titles?”
Marguerite laughed at the other end of the phone.
“Have you some time to talk, I need some advice?”
“Um–I could probably manage half an hour–is that okay?”
“That would be splendid, thank you so much.”
“Okay, what could be so important that you need to talk with a priest? Don’t tell me Jesus wants you for a sunbeam, because if you do I shall drive up there and slap you one.”
“Ah no, it’s a bit more complicated than dealing with Iron Age carpenters.”
“Ooh, that was catty.”
“Sorry. Look, let’s get straight to the point–how much do you know about the Shekinah?”
“Old Testament Hebrew goddess/feminine principle/female face of God–how’m I doing?”
“Better than most. Do you believe in her?”
“You mean do I believe she could exist?”
“Something like that yes.”
“It’s possible, God manifests in so many ways.”
“Could it all be something in my head?”
“That’s possible too–there’s a but coming though, isn’t there?”
“Yes, she seems to have invaded the mind of someone else who issued me a stern warning that I needed to listen to her–the Shekinah–or pay the consequences.”
“Very Old Testament.”
“Exactly.”
“What is the Shekinah wanting you to do?”
“That’s it, I don’t know.”
“Have you tried communicating with her?”
“Look the last time I tried communicating with a mythical character, I was seven years old and sending messages up the chimney to Father Christmas.”
“Did it work?”
“No, I got a bloody football not a tea set.”
“Do you accept that the Shekinah might exist?”
“Not really–and would I be talking to myself–like all those poor buggers in church on a Sunday?”
“Thank you very much.”
“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I see, so you make exceptions for me and my imaginary friend, do you?”
“For you, Marguerite, I’d accept anything and make exception any time.”
“Flattery may work with gods and goddesses but not their foot soldiers.”
“It was intended as a statement of the esteem in which I hold your advice.”
“When in a hole stop digging.”
“Um–okay.”
“You need to talk with this entity–how you conceive her is less important than the communication, so see her as a goddess or as a part of your higher-self, if you want to be Jungian, about it. But settle down quietly somewhere, meditate and see if you can make contact.”
“What do I say to her if I do make contact?”
“Whatever you like, but no hostilities; that achieves nothing. Be open but no arrogance–scientists act like priests of old–remember I was one, you still are.”
“Arrogant–me? I’m ever so ‘umble.”
“Cathy, this could be serious.”
“What you actually believe this thing exists?”
“Do you believe in the blue light you’ve used to heal people?”
“Isn’t that self evident?”
“Of course, but I needed to start with some base level. The fact that you’ve used it means it exists.”
“Yes.”
“So where does it come from?”
“I have no idea, do you?”
“I have my own ideas but they wouldn’t help this discussion. But consider for a moment that they are a manifestation of the Shekinah, the female principle behind all healing.”
“Hang on, that’s a bit sexist, isn’t it?”
“It might be somewhat stereotyped, but if we take the masculine principle as being primarily destructive and the female one as constructive–as the opposite ends of the spectrum–then most of us sit somewhere between regardless of sex or gender.”
“Okay, so the Shekinah is up towards the female end of the spectrum?”
“She is the opposite end of the spectrum.”
“But if she punishes me or mine because I ignore her, isn’t that hurting rather than healing–and more masculine than feminine?”
“No because she sees herself as healing you in punishing you. Once you understand what she wants you to do, you will be healed, in her eyes.”
“But I’m not sick.”
“No, but you don’t accept yourself very well, do you?”
“I do–I’m just a bit more critical–because I know what’s going on inside me–motives etcetera, and they aren’t always very nice.”
“Okay, so you’re no Mother Theresa, but then she wasn’t as pure and perfect as they sometimes like to make out.”
“Probably not, but I’m no saint, shall we say I’m closer to the sinner’s end of that spectrum.”
“You’re human–my goodness–that’s quite a discovery.”
“Very funny.”
“Talk with her, allow her to show you what she wants and humour her, she has the wisdom of millennia on her side.”
“Age doesn’t always mean wisdom.”
“No it doesn’t–especially in your case.”
“Hey, that was below the belt.”
“Only because you wear it as a headband.”
“True,” we both sniggered.
“Is that any help? I have to go, I have the mother’s union people about to arrive.”
“It’s always a help to speak with you, Marguerite, thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome–oh, and may the God you don’t believe in, watch over you. God bless you, Cathy.”
“And you, reverend.”
“The doorbell–the mother’s union have arrived–bye.”
My own doorbell rang as I put the phone down announcing the arrival of Stephanie–I went to wake Billie.
Comments
Listen....
Take Marguerite's advice, Cathy. Forget your scientific skeptisim and sit down to a nice quiet ... and calm ... chat with Shekinah. You might learn something.
PB
Exactly.
Couldn't have put it better myself :)
--B
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Thanks again,
ALISON
'but we all need something to believe in if we are to believe in ourselves.
ALISON
Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1403
Marguerite, gave Cathy some sound advice about the Shekinah Gory. But she might be better off taking to John De Lance since he has payed "Q".
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
So Cathy is worried about it all.
Yes, if the light is real then Cathy has to concede that something or some power is coming from somewhere or something. This defies logic and stymies the girl.
Cathy's got a hard road ahead.
Still lovin it.
OXOXOX
Beverly.
XZXX
Growing old disgracefully.
Good, very level headed
advice from Marguerite. Hope Cathy can use it.
About time
Of course we know why she has not been forced to believe, it is about free will.
Try to listen with an open heart Cathy and possibly mind.
Kim
If Cathy has really
listened then she will know the advice offered by Marguerite is both sound and full of common sense, Having said that that you would have to say the key word as far as Cathy is concerned is listen, Something she has proven many times in the past ia a a word she has problems with...
I do hope i am not being pessimistic when i read the last line especially the " I went to wake Billie" bit , Surely she would nor have done anything silly... Would she ?
Kirri
nah - i think Billie is still in shock as what the consequences
might have been of her doings. i think the Shrink may be able to help her out. Simularly, kathy's shrink or person whom she seems to trust has point a possible path for her to examine. Great advice I think @ this stage. she's not playing on a level playing field, and needs to understand ALL OF THE RULES to keep playing. and upstairs I believe there's a war going on ... I made a comment in last chapter, that gods, myths need ""rememberence"" to remain viable. If no one remembers they even existed, they become irrelevelant. Maybe this is what is being taught here. and the gift that was given, so it's be learned and passed down to later generations.
.
The Church (doesnt make a bit of difference of denomination or deity) cant seem to understand that little fact. or, if they do, want worse than ever to demean it even more to get people to let go of heiritages and the deities that came with those old back-grounds. Perhaps this was part of the old book burnings of the 1200s-1300s. As I theorized in comment in the last chapter, I think it was more. and I still believe there is creedence to my own belief. I prob could write a whole book on the why's hows, of that belief, yet still be considered no more than a nut case by todays standards if I keep going... BY being a transsexual (Intersexed also if one cares) is enuff to qualify me anyhows ......
Well let's read on & see what ANGAHARD is gonna have us look at to make a closer inspection to examine on. HUGGS ANG ... I love reading things that I not only enjoy as relaxing, but books that make me introspect and look @ why's , how's and how facts either stack up to show it's worthiness to fit a person's faith in values of truths he or she lives by and or follows.
Good advice is good advice,
no matter where it comes from.