The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1296 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

I explained to Simon what I’d said to Trish and he agreed it was a fair punishment, I also spoke to him about my suspicions of Asperger’s. He understood and agreed that I should speak with Sam Rose about it.

Trish did eventually come down and helped me with the dinner, after which she and I cleaned up. I fed Catherine again while she watched enviously, although I said she may well have a chance to do so herself one day, she shook her head and walked off.

I found her sitting on the swing in the garden. “What’s the problem, kiddo?” I asked pushing her gently on the swing.

“You won’t trust me near the baby again, will you?”

“I don’t know, trust is something you have to earn.”

“What, I have to get a job?”

“No, you goose, but you have to prove to me that you will never ever hurt Catherine or Puddin’ again. You still haven’t told me why you did it.”

“Because she can have babies and I can’t.” I heard rather than saw her trying to stifle the sob, “Because she’s more of a girl than I am.”

I stopped the swing and went round to the front of it. “As far as I am concerned, you are every bit as much a girl as anyone else here, including Catherine, Livvie, Stella, Billie, Julie, Mima and myself. Being female is more than just DNA and gonads, it’s also about self-image and self expression of that image.”

“Woss DNA ’n’ gonoids?”

“DNA is the stuff inside cells which tells them what to do, how to grow and when to die. It’s shaped like a helix, like a spiral staircase and carries information for our genes. Gonads, are the reproductive parts of our body, in typical females, ovaries and in typical males, testes. They secrete hormones and also produce eggs or sperm.”

“So they make us boys or girls?”

“In a purely physical sense, yes. But we’re more than just physical bodies, we have personalities as well, and while that’s influenced by our body, it isn’t exclusively so.”

“Wossat mean, Mummy.”

“Just because you don’t have ovaries, doesn’t mean you can’t be a successful girl or woman.”

“But I want to have babies, too.”

“By the time you’re grown up, you might be able to have someone act as a surrogate mother, and you then have a new born baby to look after and love, and that might involve breast feeding, too.”

“That would be so cool, Mummy, being able to do the same as you do with Catherine.”

“I would love to see all my girls with babies if it’s what they want–but not all girls want babies, for all sorts of reasons from plain fear, to not wanting the responsibility, to not wanting to stretch out all their bits.”

Trish laughed, “Stretch out all their bits, yeuch.”

“It can happen, wombs can prolapse, so can colons; some women can become diabetic or put on loads of weight, get varicose veins and back problems–all through having babies.”

“Oh, so I won’t get any of those then?”

“Not from pregnancy, you won’t.”

“Oh–so, maybe I’m lucky not to have gonoids then?”

“Maybe,” I shrugged.

“Hmm, when I grow up, maybe I’ll have a sudden-gate baby, like you said.”

“A surrogate one?”

“Yeah, if that’s the word for using some other woman to have it for me.”

“That’s the one.”

“Hmm,” she said, blew her nose and went back indoors.

I went to tinker with some bikes after Jenny came back and could look after the two wains. I’d just taken the chain off my Scott and was washing it in some cleaner when Trish came to see what I was doing.

“Messing with bikes isn’t very girlish, is it, Mummy?”

“Oh I don’t know, I could have worn a tutu and some high heels.”

“Wossa tutu?”

“A ballerina’s dress that sticks out at the bottom.”

“Your bottom sticks out enough, Mummy,” she sniggered.

“Thanks, Trish, remind me to repay the favour one day.”

“You’d look silly dressed like that.”

“I guess I would, so while some things are more likely to be done by men or boys, there’s nothing to say girls can’t do it as well, nor to stop boys doing things which are traditionally feminine things. While we may not live in a completely free country, it’s free enough for us to exercise some personal choices about things like occupations or hobbies. I’ve tinkered with bikes ever since I was a kid, I’m quite good at it and I enjoy it–which I think gives me the right to do it, don’t you?”

“That looks very messy, Mummy–I think I’ll find something cleaner to do.”

“The chain is the hardest working component on a bike, and hardly anyone treats it properly.” I cleaned it and dried it off, then left it to soak in a very fine oil.

“I’m glad you wear gloves, Mummy, or your hands would be all yucky.”

“Yes, I suppose they would.” I touched the tip of her nose with my finger and she screeched and ran out of the garage.

“Whit’re ye daein’ th’ noo?” asked Tom as he walked in from the garden.

“Cleaning and oiling a chain, why?”

“Whit wis, wee Trishy squawkin’ aboot?”

“Oh I just teased her and touched some oil on the end of her nose.” I smirked and Tom sniggered.

“Aye, she’s a prissy wee thing at times.”

“Where’s Leon?”

“Awa hame, he’s worrked harrd th’ day, we puit in three rows o’ tatties.”

“Oh good, nothing like home grown ones.”

“Aye, nothin’ like.” He went in as I locked up the workshop.

I followed him and after disposing of my dirty gloves felt myself get all hot when I saw Trish playing with Catherine. Then I saw Jenny supervising and felt myself sigh.

Before starting tea, I checked my e-mails and found that I had one from Erin.

‘Hi Cathy,

Erin’

Thank goodness I made the dormouse one while the other lot were in power. I wasn’t too upset about it, I don’t have the same affection for harvest mice, despite their also being cute. It also meant I could concentrate on what I was doing already–the survey and its contribution to my PhD project, not to mention my other projects like getting tea for a bunch of starvers.

“Mu-uu-um, when’s tea gonna be ready?” asked Livvie.

“Soon, perhaps you’d like to help me prepare it?”

“Yeah alright; I s’pose.”

I laid out slices of bread–not home baked but quite good quality from a baker in the high street–while Livvie put butter and dishes of salad on the table. I opened some cooked meats and put them on plates. Trish appeared and began laying cutlery.

“Is tea ready yet, Mummy?” asked Danny.

“The amount you ate at lunch, I’m surprised you need to eat again this week.” The two girls laughed at my response.

“C’mon, Mum, I’m a growin’ lad.”

“Just watch you don’t start growing sideways, my lad,” I teased him and he rolled his eyes which made the girls snigger.