I’ve never submitted to anyone, not even when they’ve half punched my lights out so doing so to this weird woman thing didn’t even occur to me.

“Sorry, but every feminist principle inside me says no.”

The woman–I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and she can do the same to me–had a wry sort of expression on her face.

“Pah–modern women,” she scorned, “We gave you freedom of thought and this is how you repay us.”

I thought I’d better keep polite as she seems to think she’s important. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I was unaware you’d given me anything.”

“Unaware–that’s an understatement of epic proportion–I shall however explain a little of the gifts we have endowed upon you. The healing, which you complain about all the time, has if you recall saved at least four members of your family–still, we can always take it away and let them die next time.”

I felt a little worried, if she was the one who did that–then if I piss her off–she might just put the others in jeopardy just to put me in my place while I watch helplessly as they suffer. No, I’d better keep on her good side–just in case, whoever she is.

“You said, gifts, ma’am...”

“Yes what of it?”

“The healing I was aware of, what else have you given me?”

Her expression was one of anger and I began to wonder if I might disappear in a puff of smoke. However, a moment later it changed and she looked at me calmly. “What have we not given you? The gift of beautiful countenance–although you have always railed against it–you have a beauty which men find attractive–some even to the point of loving you–which shows their stupidity.

“I’m sorry ma’am that I appear ungrateful, but I was under the impression I’d been born a man and had changed things myself.”

She laughed at me, “Born a man–don’t be ridiculous–however, to punish you for old sins, we decided to give you a sense of never feeling complete or entirely adequate–what better way than to make you into a male in one aspect but female in every other.”

“You mean you made me transsexual?”

“If that is how you cope with it–you were of female mind with male organs,” she laughed cruelly at me. Psychotic or what? “It will hopefully teach your soul a lesson.”

Definitely psychotic whatever she was. “Ma’am, I have no recollection of those old sins?” I was trying to work out what I got wrong before.

“You need none to work this life out–I should concentrate on what you’ve done to offend us in this life–for which you will be punished.”

“I am sorry if I have offended you and ask for forgiveness.”

“You foolish child–it is not we who punish you–you punish yourself–for it is written so. It was your soul which made you a chimera–a mixture of two spirits, which asked our indulgence to heal past injuries.”

Now I was completely lost.

“Amongst our indulgence was the ability to heal those who need such help, most of whom you will recognise but not always. The healing will take the form of love–not of the wishy-washy human form, but of the highest–the love of the gods themselves. Each time you empart some of this divine favour upon a fellow suffering soul–you will heal a small part of your own fractured soul–unless you try to impose your will upon the fates and preserve one whose soul should not receive it.”

Had I done so? Then I realised I had several times–my children and occasionally someone else–especially children. In which case, I have to accept the consequences of my actions. “Madam, I will not regret those times when I have acted out of love and I accept the consequences they bring. In giving me a female heart in this body, in granting me the gift of motherhood by proxy, I will risk everything I have to protect those I love and am charged by natural law to do so.”

“You courage is nearly as great as your impudence–but it amuses us as we can see how such twisted loyalties occur. Very well, your impudence to challenge us will be overlooked this time but do not make a habit of it.”

“Thank you, milady, being in human form, I am bound to show a mother’s protective instincts towards her offspring and those she takes on as such. Natural law means I am bound to this fact as long as I am bound to this body.”

“Such arrogance could mean a separation from that body earlier than you might have thought.”

“It isn’t arrogance, milady, it’s what human love is about–to at times take risks and view those one loves as worthy of whatever sacrifice is required.”

“You deign to suggest we are not aware of this sentimentalism that humans call love?”

“Madam, it might seem sentimentalism and weakness to you–but it is the highest form of devotion and altruism we humans are capable of expressing–it’s what lifts us above other species and up towards the divine itself.”

“What about devotion to us–is that not of the highest form–not the sentimentalism to which you aspire?”

“Milady, in loving my children and others, am I not showing my devotion to you and the gifts you bestowed upon me?” I tried some lateral thinking.

“We are not convinced but will allow you to have time to consider your position.”

“Thank you, milady, before you discharge me, might I ask you explain what other gifts you bestowed upon me?” Might I work out what this is all about if she tells me?

“The ability to succour your children including infants...” So that’s how I came to feed baby Catherine.

“...the ability to understand the thoughts of those you heal, and to see their future or possible future, where you might advise them but not control them. They have free will too, and the right to destroy themselves as they wish.”

“Why was I not aware of any of this myself–until my daughter showed me?” Trish had shown me her ability to see the blue light–everyone else could see it but me.

“You tried to ignore or reject our gifts, it was therefore decided to make you ignorant until someone you trusted could show you the error of your ways. Arrogance does not become you, my daughter.”

“I am once again penitent before you and crave your forgiveness.”