(aka Bike) Part 1295 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad
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Just when you think it’s safe to go back into the water... If ever I find out which sicko wished me an interesting life–I’ll ask them why–then kill ’em.
I sat comforting the baby when Simon came in, “What’s the matter with her?” he nodded at the child.
“Trish did something to her.”
“What d’you mean, did something to her?”
“Exactly what I said, Trish was talking or playing with her, then suddenly she squealed because Trish did something–and when I looked, she has this red mark on her arm.”
He came over to see for himself and looked surprised when he saw what I was talking about. “Looks like someone dug their nails in her.”
“Something like that, I suspect.”
“And you actually saw her do it?”
“I saw her playing with Catherine and the baby suddenly cried out in pain. She didn’t see me until I spoke and she ran off presumably to her room.”
“I see, well we’d better nip this in the bud. D’you want me to have a word with her?”
“No, Si, I’ll go and speak with her, but I’d like you to watch Catherine while I do it.”
“How long are you going to be?”
“I don’t know, but I thought I heard Julie about earlier–get her to take over if you need to do something.”
“Okay, go and sort her out.”
I went via the kitchen and put the roasties in with the meat before walking up the stairs to the girl’s room. Trish was lying on her bed crying and talking to herself.
I sat alongside her and started stroking her neck, she began to stop crying and lay breathing quite hard. I was almost holding my breath–the joys of parenthood, here we go. “Trish, what did you do to Catherine?”
She began to cry again and buried her face in her pillow.
“That’s not going to do anyone any good is it? Trying to suffocate yourself in a pillow.”
“I wish I was dead,” she said into the pillow so it was muffled.
“Why is that? I thought you were happy with things–I mean you’ve beaten Julie and Billie to having surgery, and everyone can see you’re a proper girl now. So why would you wish to be dead? I’d have thought you have every reason to be happy.”
“I’m not nice, am I, Mummy?”
“I think you’re asking the wrong question here, I would suggest you ask, did I do something that wasn’t very nice? You’re a lovely little girl, albeit one in a too big a hurry to grow up–and who might consequently miss out on the fun of childhood.”
“What’s the difference?” she asked red-eyed and face marked by creases in the pillow.
“I love you, Trish, and I think you’re a really nice kid. However, sometimes you do things I wouldn’t consider nice, but there I’m condemning the act not the person. Do you understand.”
“What’s the difference? She repeated herself.
I tried again. “We are not what we do,” I said and thought, pretentious twit. “Look, I know you did something which hurt the baby, I suspect you pinched her,”–very little girl. “That was unprovoked, she didn’t do anything to cause you to do it. So it was an act of unkindness. Normally, I would say you are quite a kind little girl, looking to help others not hurt them–so I would have to say, I thought you to be a kind person.”
She burst into tears and sobbed, “I’m sorry, Mummy.”
“But sometimes, kind people do things which we don’t expect and become unkind. I try not to judge them because I don’t know why they did something out of character. Do you understand?”
She nodded into her pillow but continued to sob.
“So I’m trying to say that I’m judging what you did, not you, does that make any sense?”
“Not really,” she said.
“Okay. What you did was wrong–agreed?”
She nodded.
“I don’t like what you did; understand?”
“Yes, Mummy,” muffled by the pillow.
“But I still love you, despite it–do you understand?”
She nodded, but I had my doubts that she really understood.
“On occasion, it can be very difficult to be a mother. Sometimes you have to do things which you don’t like doing and sometimes you have to say things which you don’t like. I think we’re agreed that you did wrong by pinching Catherine, aren’t we?”
She nodded.
“Can you tell me why you pinched her?”
“No,” she sobbed.
“Okay, you know that when you do things which are wrong, there are consequences –usually in the form of punishment. How do you think I should punish you for pinching Catherine?”
“Pinch me,” she said muffled by the pillow.
“No, I don’t want to hurt you, I want you to learn in a more positive way.”
“Smack me?”
“That would be like pinching you, wouldn’t it, which would make me as bad as you in terms of actions, wouldn’t it?”
“I s’pose,” she said with a sigh almost as if to say, get on with it.
“So, I’m going to say you can’t use your computer for the rest of the day–or anyone else’s.”
“What?” she gasped sitting up, “That’s not fair.”
“I think it’s perfectly fair and that’s your punishment.”
“But I only gave her a little pinch.”
“It left a red mark, Trish, it wasn’t a little pinch, and she cried afterwards, you hurt her, and now I’m hurting you in a way which gives you time to reflect upon what you did.”
“But she only cried for a few minutes, I’m like gonna be without my computer for like, hours.”
“If you hadn’t done it, I wouldn’t need to punish you, would I?”
“No–but it seems unfair to me.”
“Trish, everything seems unfair to you at times. You’re a very clever girl, but you need to be aware of other people and their feelings, not just your own.”
“I am–sometimes.”
For a moment I wondered if she could be Asperger’s–something which hadn’t occurred to me before. They say Sir Isaac Newton was clever enough and spiteful enough to have had some form of autism. I wondered if Trish was similarly afflicted. I would ask Sam Rose what he thought, it might explain a few things.
“I’m going to finish getting the dinner ready–you’re welcome to come and help me if you like, but you are not to use a computer until tomorrow morning when you go to school.”
I stood up and turned to face her, she was sitting on the bed looking very sorry for herself. “Can’t I do just a little bit on the ‘puter?”
“Tomorrow yes but not today.”
She pouted but refused eye contact with me. I turned to leave and she suddenly dashed to me and hugged me.
“I’m sorry, Mummy, I really am. I don’t know why I did it. I won’t do it again, I promise.”
“I’m glad to hear that–because if you did, I’d confiscate your computer for a whole week.”
“What?” she gasped in shock, “A whole week?”
“That would give you time to contemplate your folly, wouldn’t it?”
“A whole week?” I heard her saying behind me as I came back down the stairs.
Comments
A well thought out
ALISON
' sensible punishment that will have Trish thinking about her action in future.
ALISON
Whatever the reason that she did it
Trish needs to learn that unkind actions can often rebound.
I never cease to be amazed at the pearls of wisdom and humour that I find in this story; I keep being drawn to eagerly await the next Bikesode, like a moth to a flame.
S.
I thought this was...
...a brilliant piece of parenting from Cathy.
The Asperger's link is also something that would bear investigation.
Thanks A+B+I (roasties): I really enjoyed reading this Bikesode.
Parental Strategies
Bike Resources
Bike Resources
Just goes to prove
what a natural Cathy is with children, Loved the way she explained why she was going to punish Trish .... Hopefully our little genius will listen to what her mommy has told her and do as she is asked ....
kirri
She sure hit Trish where it hurts.
I find that losing the computer or video games is pretty effective. To hear them complain, you would think that I was denying them the very bread of life. LOL
Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1295
Trish is finding out first hand what TOUGH LOVE is like from Cathy.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
I know I've asked before but
where did Cathy get this level of wisdom? And I hope Trish does come downstairs and help. that last outburst sounded too much like an "if I say I'm sorry she'll let me off the punishiment" try. Cathy needs to keep her occupied.
Wondering if school is enough for Trish. Is she so bright that she needs additional outlets and projects? Too many really smart kids do bad things because they're bored or at least not challenged.
I had wondered...
About the possibility of Aspergers - or some related issue. One of my younger friends has been diagnosed with Aspergers - and MOST of the time, he's a very nice kid. But there are times he seems to do things that just don't make sense - or say things that don't seem to fit. It's an "interesting" (I guess that's as good a term as any) variation on the autism spectrum.
That said, she could just be a six year old kid. Despite her intelligence, she demonstrates, regularly, how young she really is.
Thank you for sharing this story with us.
Anne
Excellent!
I loved the talk, I loved the punishment. It is indeed possible that Trish has a minor case of autism, but not severe enough to be debilitating. Cathy is a good enough mother I think she can reach through to Trish and teach her how to think about other people.
If I remember, this is am common occurance.
"A whole week?", the next time you ask, it will be two weeks.
Trish has a case of I'm a sociopath. there's no pill for that.
Karen