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Wanted: Proof-reader/editor

Hi all,

I've recently decided to really start trying to write, and today wrote the first chapter of my first story. I am however a bit nervous about posting it, and unsure about which rating to choose. As such I hoped someone would be willing to help me a bit by reading it and pointing out grammar/spelling mistakes and offering general feedback. In return for this you will have eternal fame (delivered in the form of a thank-you in each story post), and of course my gratitude.

Regards,

LucyBass

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Sweet Dreams-31 The first cut is the Deepest.

Sweet Dreams-31 The First Cut is the Deepest.

Chapter 31

I think there’s something psychosomatic about losing it when people tell you that you’re not the freaky person you think you are but the socially acceptable version of it.

The Heart of it All: A Wyld Universe story- Part 8

In the former state of Ohio many factions fight to claim the land as their own. For one rebellious Wyld, she too battles internally in order to maintain some semblance of her previous life while struggling to adapt to what she had become. Can a negotiator from the Northwest do the impossible and peacefully resolve the conflicts on the battlefield and within this young Wyld's heart?

Blood, Dust, and Silver - Chapter 2

Blood, Dust, and Silver - Chapter 2

After four days of travel Tanson was starting to regret the whole cloak idea. It was heavy to carry, hot to wear, and the colour clashed with his boots.

Shawn the Maiden Chapter 7

Shawn the Maiden
Book 1


Chapter 7

By Princess

The young son of a rich powerful man is abused by his step family after his father marries a manipulative woman. They subject him to horrible cruelty

--SEPARATOR--

Blood, Dust, and Silver - Chapter 1

Blood, Dust, and Silver — Chapter 1


Tanson, a dark skinned Verandi Shaman, leaned against the wall of the town saloon. The shade covered most of his upper body, which he kept bare.

Tomgirl Revolution Part 1

Tomgirl Revolution
By Beyogi  ©2012
thanks to Janet Miles for editing

Tom is a rather timid guy and now his girlfriend has made a suggestion that will change his life forever. They will undergo a surgery to change their genitalia. What will this mean for them, their sex and their life in general?

The consequences of lying.

I was staring at my friend Andy, no Amy, no Andy, no Amy. She, no he, was standing in front of me in a set of grey satin underwear, which included a suspender belt that was holding up some glossy stockings. The hair was perfect, the make up ideal for the situation. The voice neither falsetto nor too deep, just sexy, no wonder I was confused.

Absinthe, Opium and Honor...Chapters 27.

Absinthe, Opium and Honor…Chapters 27.

Chapter 27

……………………………………..I hate them, I mean it I really hate them and it’s because he’s not a woman, not a girl, not a real female. I think that them saying that these Trans people have the soul of the wrong gender in the wrong body is bullshit.

Gays mostly but a few way out there lesbians.

Honestly it makes me kind of sick

The Street Rat - A TWILIGHT ZONE story

The Street Rat"You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of the imagination. Next stop: THE TWILIGHT ZONE." - Rod Serling

******

The Street Rat - A TWILIGHT ZONE story
By Anon Allsop

Eric Carroll was a child prostitute who did his tricks for drugs. An unscrupulous doctor with a strange kinky desire, traded the drugs he supplied to the boy with feminine hormones from the hospital's pharmacy. As the angry youth realized he was developing feminine body characteristics, he began to use those characteristics and mannerisms on unsuspecting strangers, stealing much of what he needed to live. That is, until he faced a 'magician' in a crowded bar inside...THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

Images 36

Images 36

Chapter 36

Taylor…

I know I talk so much about him that it’d drive most people out of their trees but…

There’s those kinds of guys that a girl get married to.

And then there’s those guys that are your husbands.

I mean I’m getting this whole direct proof thing of the in sickness and in health, to have and to hold to honor and to cherish and really…he’s not trying.

He’s Taylor just being Taylor.

Jem...Chapter 27

Jem…Chapter 27

*Adam……………..

I can’t help the smile on my face when I watch that little fucker’s car on the posted up videos online.

Summer’s giggling her ass off as she replays it and is taking repeated hits off the joints I bought her. “This is so fucking cool! That fucker’s been hanging around my ex’s new singer and dirty little cunt licker…Jem…Jem, Jem Fucking Jem!”

She starts to elbow my car windows and settles down when I give her a backhanded slap.
“Hey fucker!”

“Don’t scuff my interior.”

Arooo....6

Arooo….6

Chapter 6

I see red…

It’s like the hottest rage I have ever felt run through my body in my life. You get like that in combat or you can, you shouldn’t but it’s one of the things that happens. You go there into that spot where everything is going in slow motion and you can hear your own pulse in your ears louder than you can with the bullets you’re firing.

Bridges 28

Bridges 28

Chapter 28

I’m not going to go into too much details about the shopping excursion only that there was a lot of kissing. More than a few looks from people both comfortable and uncomfortable with us doing that and even though I should be taking things easy I did spend a lot of time on my feet and alone for some of the shopping.

I very well couldn’t buy Cass’s presents with her around now could I.

And I really did a Betty and Wilma on my Visa.

Sweet Dreams-29...Oh Crap! WTF?

Sweet Dreams-29…Oh Crap! WTF?

Chapter 29

If your life flashes before your eyes I fucking protest. Who said Slipknot could produce the video for my life?

The Drive-By… with my Daddy…I was little and I was on my big wheel just going down the alley and Daddy was there watching my from the bar’s red fire door smoking and talking to these guys that’d come up and they’s like do this secret handshake and stuff.

~Huh…looks like a hand off, seems like Dad was a dealer.~

Sweet Dreams-28...Oh Crap! WTF?

Sweet Dreams-28...Oh Crap! WTF?

Chapter 28

The rest of the night is actually really different. I think Alex might have gotten that the doctor thing is scaring me and freaking me out because he keeps close and he slips his arms around me every now and then and we share little nuzzles and kisses.

He surprises me when we don’t retreat to our place but stay in the main house and maybe it’s that the girls are here but we actually stay and Alex digs through some stuff in the hall closet and takes out all these board games.

What a good boy...Chapter 1

“What a good boy.” Chapter 1?

Chapter 1?

“When I was born…they looked at me and said.”
“What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.”

………………..

And there’s more to the song and it really and it’s a really great tune actually and I’m a fan of The Bare-naked Ladies ever since I heard them when I was ten at a neighborhood dance at the boys and girl club.

Winter Break

Winter break. Part 1.

Fiction by Johnny Cumlately

I was due a few days holiday to be taken before the end of the year. It was already mid November and the nights had closed in. I did not want to fly off to foreign parts and the papers were full of adverts for short winter breaks. A city rather than a remote rural hotel made more sense and I chose Newcastle because I had never been there and it seemed to offer plenty to do and see even if the weather was wet and cold. I booked a good city centre hotel and decided to travel up by train.

Insensitve comments

I wrote this post this afternoon at the FM Hyperboard

*****

But the Task Force's concern for upsetting comments or posts to this hyperboard are a recent phenomonon. One I would a causation of the Noah Veil controversy of a few years back and then the website being shut down by its ISP. The Task Force is still smarting from that and rather than have another storm that happened like the NV one, are deleting anything that comes along that threatens another one. No dissent means they won't ever be made to look bad.

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Covered Bridges-3.

Covered Bridges-3.

Chapter 3

The good thing about being a woman is crying. I lived a lot of my life before becoming me holding everything back because when you were that kid that was me in school and you cried everything was ten times worse.

Last night sucked.

I was hurting and alone and bawled myself to sleep and feel better for doing it, for getting the shit out of my system. And it took me a lot of years to get to where I can cry without feeling guilty about it.

Werewomen - Sensate

werewomen_0.jpg Werewomen - Sensate
Tim is a loser and computer addict. No woman would ever want him and he knows it. But one night he's dragged to a club by some of his remaining friends where he meets a mysterious woman. To his surprise she's actually interested in him and he can't let such an opportunity go to waste. The aftermath of this encounter will change his life forever - maybe for the better...
This story will introduce you into the new Werewomen Universe.

Copyright by Beyogi - 2012
thanks to Janet Miles for editing.

Sweet Dreams-26...Holy! F#*K, Did I just get A Life?

Sweet Dreams-26…Holy F#*K did I just get A Life?

Chapter 26

I love every moment now; I love every second of this now. I can’t even process not feeling that this isn’t something that’s right, deeply and truly right as we make love. I moan in his ear as he sinks into me with long strokes that fill me up with hardness and silk and pleasure and heat.

Images 35

Images 35

Chapter 35

I almost feel ashamed that I never really did much about Remembrance Day before in my life. I don’t like I was that self absorbed even with all the stuff going on as Jaime. Today is an eye opener. I cry for things I hear from the old timers come in and I think I hugged Daddy five or six times.

He’s there for this and he talks to a lot of the veteran’s that have come in and sits ad talks with them. He’s been there himself, he’s seen those things that you just can’t unsee…or stop feeling.

Jem...Chapter 24

Jem…Chapter 24

Chapter 24

*Adam…

What the fuck!?

What the fucking hell is going on with shit now….I know…I know what caused the whole fucking thing.

Fucking Jason Powers…

I hate that little cocksucker with a passion.

Why? He started it when we were kids. There’s just a way life is sometimes. So people are poor, some are rich, what comes up must come down, water is wet, the sky is blue. And the Marshall family doesn’t just own Hardy Point but we pretty much fucking built it!

Everyone else got it. Everyone else played by the rules. They gave respect where it was due.

Evanescence 22

Evanescence 22

Chapter 22

I wake up feeling very lazy and good, there’s that just right feeling of being warm and cared for and held that parts of me are just basking in semi- awake. I’ve several lesbian parts to my other lives and my other selves that are still sort of trying to make peace with my heterosexuality.

Yes me, now I’m a transgendered woman but I’m into men. Okay I’m into one man and that’s the guy I’m with now.

Shaun.

One Way Ticket

Harold James Adams was smart beyond his years. To make matters worse for his captors there were nineteen more just like him. Freedom takes on a whole new meaning in this story, can they ever really be free, or is it just an illusion like the life they have lived almost from the start.

(Author's note)... The TG element of the story doesn't show up till well into the story and the main character/s are not directly affected by it. Hope enjoy.

The Maid

I giggled as I raised the spinning mower blade all the way up and put it into forward. In front of me the Gardener laid vainly trying to roll out of the way. He wouldn’t make it. Absolutely amazing the poisons found in ordinary household products.

532 Part 2

Belle.jpeg

Author's note: There is hope on the horizon for Belle. Some more darkness, so beware. Not explicit, but it is essential to the tale.

Chapter 3

Cerberus found out the location of the next gathering. He would mention to the police about the “festivities”. These people were guilty, but the law could handle them. They wouldn’t be delivered to the Ferryman tonight. This time.

Kristi

Kristi

By: Cindilee

Kristi woke with the alarm. She hated school days, especially after the nights she endured. She dragged herself out of her cot, in the basement of her “Auntie’s” house.

She was sixteen, and had been out of her parent’s house for two years. She had problems that they didn’t want to deal with, and she didn’t want to abide by their wishes, so she left. No looking back. It was too painful. She wondered where it had all gone wrong.

Multiple

Bob and Ted had been friends since high school, which was many years ago. Ted was an animatronics, robotics and special effects guru, and had used Bob as a guinea pig on many of his, often groundbreaking, special effects projects, turning him into all sorts of characters from credible versions of Prince Charles, Marilyn Monroe and John Lennon, through to sci-fi and animal characters. Bob was comfortable as both male and female characters and always tried to act the part of whoever or whatever he looked like.

Slacker Part 3

Slacker-
Part Three

by:
Moongoddess


In which Marnie makes new friends, contacts an old friend, and a mystery guest signs in...

I would like to thank my Beta Readers, Bailey Summers and Lisa Danielle for their input and ideas. I'd also like to thank all of you for giving me a place to share my work. Last but not least, I'd like to thank my lovely Muse, Dani for everything she is.
All characters Copyright 2011 - 2012 BolaDesign Studios. Image Copyright SuperArtistbOy.

(in)complete control

[ Note: contains scenes involving the aftermath of violence. If that sort of thing is at all triggering for you, do please move along. ]

I felt like I was on fire when I woke up.

In my head, I flung back the sweat-damp duvet and pivoted up and sideways on one hip. In reality, I managed to push myself half-upright before discovering I couldn't even lean against the bed properly and so slithered gracelessly to the floor. My legs didn't want to work the way I expected and I had a weapons-grade headache. That was when I remembered the stabbing pain in my leg while at the metro station the day before. I twisted round as best I could and found what looked like a serious insect bite.

Spiked.

It was the sort of thing that happened to other people - usually in the more excitable media.

Jem...Chapter 18

Jem…Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The lighters are dying down as “Two for the show.” finishes our set and y’know it’s not really me or raven singing that either we’re doing back up for Brooklyn actually and I just sort of ended up drifting over to Raven and we slipped an arm around each other and sort of swayed as we sang and shared the microphone she was holding.

I’m shaking from the adrenaline a little and the song she sang to me was I think the most beautiful thing that anyone’s ever sung to me before but I’m biased really.

Snakes and Ladders-19

Snakes and Ladders-19

Chapter 19

We head to the breakfast together arms linked and I’m feeling just awash with wonder at her. Hell with the whole thing, this world and all of it but mostly because Shaya loves me and thinks I’m beautiful.

Feeling beautiful has done huge things for my soul.

Evanescence 21

Evanescence 21

Chapter 21

“Maeve…Maeve wake up you lazy pillock, they’re a coming.”

My brain hurts, my feet hurt. Too much dancing at the river. My feet are tough but too many hours of dancing under the stars celebrating. T’was the moonsliver night and the stars where all right and according to custom we lit a prye on running water and we made ready a feast to re-welcome the other folk to the world.

There’s a shallow spot where we raise up the bonfire out of the water on big yew logs and made a fire of pine and rowan oak and tindered the whole lot with holly and mistletoe and we set our tables all about the small island that was our dancing place.

There’s fae blood in my clan going back who knows fer certain but it’s there and it’s where my powers get their extra spark from.

Moonsliver Night is when our otherfolk kin come to visit. An we dance an sing and cast mana to the wind and at the touch of the mid of the night a doorway opens.

An they come.

Fade to Black-4

Fade to Black-4

Chapter 4

I’m greeted by several of the native leaders that are there and there’s some Cree, Hurons, and Algonquin as well as Bearskin Mohawks…I get this distinct feel off of them like they’re Were but not wolves…I’m not stupid enough to ask what.

They get led to me and I can’t really let that go down. This might be my camp but not my home turf so I go to them.

I’ve been practicing this ever since I knew that they were coming and I channel a spell I’ve made.

Just when you think christmas couldn't get any worse

Just returned home after spending christmas in hospital, had a stroke on christmas eve causing me to lose my mobility and speach, turns out I have a tiny hole in my heart, probably there since birth that caused a clot that blocked the vessels leading to my cerebellar for long enough to kill a number of cells that control movement, speach and balance.

My speach and balance are better now but my left arm has problems with fine motor control. I've been told there was evidence of a previous stroke and will need to have the hole in my heart blocked to prevent further risk of stroke.

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The Princess Project

The Princess Project

I’m Ron, and my brother Tim, along with our sisters Jenny and Suzie, are two sets of twins.

At sixteen, Jenny and I were the oldest, Tim and Suzie, who were twelve, were oops kids; my parents thought that mom couldn’t get pregnant anymore and got a little careless. Four years went by and the next thing you know, Tim and Suzie showed up.

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