The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1569 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

The journey home was fairly straightforward once I’d helped Jenny into the car, with the wheelchair folded in the boot alongside her case and the presents I'd taken for her and for her to give the children.

We chatted and she was so relieved to be out of the hospital, albeit just for a weekend. On getting home, I called Simon out to help me and he was gobsmacked. He did however pick her up like she was a doll and carried her into the house while I ran behind with the wheelchair.

Once repositioned, we wheeled her in and met the family, all except Julie whom it appearred was staying with Tash overnight, and I suspect not to go to the carol service.

Jenny was mobbed by the girls and then more gently by Danny and the other adults including Caroline. I made us some tea and then quietly ate a sandwich, as I hadn’t had any of the pie I’d made earlier.

The rest of the evening was taken up by bringing a bed downstairs into the library for our guest, and she was to call my mobile if she needed anything in the night. Caroline and I would help her with her medication and Stella and I would help with washing her and toileting. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it was doable and we were going to do it.

A little later Trish came to speak with me. “Are you going to do some healing on Jenny?”

“It might be too late, darling, the injuries are old now and they might not be suitable for any healing.”

“You’re gonna try though, aren’t you?”

“You don’t think I got her here just to help me stuff the turkey, do you?”

“Oh goody-good, can I help you when you, like do it?”

“Stuff the turkey?”

“No,” she rolled her eyes and waved her hands about, “silly, heal Jenny.”

“Of course, sweetheart, I’m going to need all the help I can get. Something we’ll need to take into account is whether she wants us to try.”

“Of course she will, she isn’t stupid, Mummy.”

“No, but you have to bear in mind that if we try and it doesn’t work, she could feel even more hopeless than before. If we do it, she has to understand the possible outcomes, and a negative one is one of those.”

“I thought we had to believe in it?” Trish looked puzzled.

“No that’s Father Christmas.”

She rolled her eyes and went off again.

Later just before I went off to bed, I went to wish Jenny a good night’s sleep. “You know, this place seems so familiar and yet different.”

“You’re seeing it through different eyes. The house is the same, it’s you who has changed.”

“Don’t I know it,” she pointed to the chair.

“Julie will be surprised when she comes in tomorrow.”

“With her girlfriend?”

“Yes, a girl called Natasha, or Tash for short.”

“Lucky thing; to have a future and someone to love her.”

“We all have futures.”

“Mine went for a burton, with that bastard Burton.”

“Is that the man who told you he loved you?”

“Yes, I was a fool–I’ll never believe a man again.”

“Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, most men are okay, some are magic and some are shits.”

“How come I always meet the shits? Cathy, why I do I always end up with them?” She began to cry. “And look at me now, who’s going to want some fool in a wheelchair. I wish I’d died, why couldn’t you let me go? I wanted to die–this is your revenge is it–because I took that stupid ballet dancer thing. You’re going to punish me–that’s it, isn’t it? You got me here to get your own back.” She ranted at me and for one of the few times in my life I actually hit someone. I slapped her on the face. It had the desired effect in shutting her up.

“I’ll tell you why I brought you here. We see ourselves as your family, and we actually care about what happens to you. I brought you here because this is where you belong, amongst people who love you. I also brought you here because I hoped it might help to heal the trauma you’ve undergone in the injuries, the shock and the shame. I brought you here because I wanted to show you you could still have a future, here with us–that some sort of life was possible. It seems I was mistaken.

“The ballet dancer thing, was important, but we managed to recover that. It was important because it belonged to my Mum, and despite the way she sometimes treated me, I know she loved me and I loved her. Obviously these things are not important to you. Go to sleep now, if you’re so unhappy here, I’ll take you back to the hospital tomorrow.”

I got up and walked away from her–I knew this was coming, this storm. It had to for healing to take place. You have to debride a wound to encourage granulation tissue to form. I was trying to do that, I hoped it had worked or I would be driving to Southampton tomorrow.

“What’s the matter with you?” Simon said as I got into bed.

“I think I might have made a huge mistake.”

“Come and tell me all about it,” he said and wrapped me in a hug.

I explained what I was trying to do with Jenny. “I thought as much. Look if it works, it will be positive, if it doesn’t at least you had a try. If she goes back to the hospital, then we know she really has changed and perhaps in which case it would be just as well if she did go. It’s up to her–you’ve done your bit. C’mon, get to sleep, busy day tomorrow.”

His understatement was true. The girls had us up at six and they’d been waiting for an hour before they disturbed us. I checked on Jenny when I got downstairs, she was still asleep. So the children were really quiet during breakfast, which was a bigger surprise than if I’d bumped into some old fat bloke in a red suit coming down the chimney.

Once the breakfast was cleared, I put on the oven to warm and prepared the bird. Trish went to see Jenny and told me she was awake. Caroline took over in the kitchen, while the girls went to wash and dress. Stella came down and between us we washed and dressed Jenny after toileting her. It was hard work and Stella kept saying, “Ah this takes me back a bit to my student days.” I was tempted to say something rude, but didn’t.

I did Jenny a breakfast of porridge and some fruit with a cup of coffee. On returning to collect the dirty dishes, she asked me to wait a moment. “I don’t have a lot of time, Jenny, so if you want to go back to the hospital, just say so.”

“I don’t. I mean I don’t want to go back there. You were right last night, I do belong here. I wish I could help.”

“You can, I have to go out in a little while, you can come with me if you want.”

“Yeah, course I will, where are you going?”

“I can’t tell you just yet. I’ll explain later.”

“Okay, count me in, can I go in the chair?”

“No, we’ll need the car.”

“Okay.”

I told Caroline what I needed her to do and shoved the turkey in the oven. It was going to take a few hours. Then I checked the girls who trooped off with Tom to go to church. Once the coast was clear, I got myself cleaned up and dressed and a little later helped Jenny get her coat on.

We got into the car and after loading her chair I drove off. A short time later I pulled into the cemetery and unloaded her. I wrapped her legs in the blanket and gave her the flowers to carry as I pushed her.

I left her a few yards away while I spoke with Billie, Catherine and Tom’s late wife, Celia. I took the flowers and placed them on the grave. Then I gave Jenny a chance to reflect on her time with Billie before we left and went back home to the warmth of the kitchen.

“Nice kid,” said Jenny as we drove back.

“Yes she was.”

I’d promised her I’d return at Christmas so she wouldn’t be left out, I’d also placed a card to her when I lit the fire the day before. I know, I’m crazy, but I’m coping with this the best way I can.