(aka Bike) Part 1572 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad
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Caroline and Jenny reappeared almost dead on four o’clock. It was a grey day and starting to get dark–well darker than it had been much of the time and the wind was freshening. I was once again in the kitchen drinking tea and looking to do a turkey pasta bake. I was also boiling a large ham joint so there would be stock for soup for several days–possibly pea and ham–if I had any split peas left.
I was laying alternate layers of pasta and turkey meat when Caroline pushed Jenny into the kitchen. I poured on the sauce and placed a layer of sliced mushrooms on the top then laid some sheets of cheese on top of that and popped it in the oven. That was the second dish and we should now have enough for everyone.
“Good walk?” I asked finishing my nearly cold cuppa.
“Bracing,” said Caroline.
“Lovely, but cold,” said a rather blue nosed Jenny.
“Hot drink?” I asked them.
“Tea or coffee’s fine for me,” said Caroline.
“Have you any hot chocolate?”
“I have indeed.” A few minutes later and they were both sipping their hot drinks and I had a fresh cup of tea. “I have a feeling you want to talk to me–am I right?”
“Jenny does, I’ll catch you later.” Caroline went off, presumably up to her room to change or wash or snort coke or Pepsi or whatever else she does up there.
“I rather like Caroline.”
“So I gathered, she certainly likes you.”
Yes, I know,” she blushed.
“So what did you want to talk about?”
“I’d like to come back here when I can.”
“That’s okay, all we need to do is negotiate with the doctors as to when and how, and what we need to do to accommodate you.”
“You are so kind, Cathy.”
“You’re a valued member of the household, even family.”
“Even after what I did to you?”
“I thought we’d dealt with that. You’ve certainly paid a higher price for your mistakes than I or the law require of you.”
“Yeah, that was another one of them.”
“So is that all you wanted to tell me?”
“Um–not quite.”
“Pray carry on then.”
“Eh–oh yeah, it’s difficult.”
“How is it difficult?”
“I hope you won’t feel offended.”
“Why should I?”
“I see you and Julie and Trish as like real women, but Caroline is a feminine bloke.”
“Right, so that’s how you see her/him?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry, but she’s more of a tranny than a woman, an’ I find that sort of a comfort.”
“Because she won’t treat you like more macho men would?”
“Yeah, I’m right off masculine men, but I quite like Caroline.”
“Because she’s non-threatening, or less so than ordinary men?”
“Absolutely; she’s just nice and gentle–different.”
“So, you’d like to move in with her when you return from hospital?”
“If that’s possible?”
“It’s possible. I think we’d be looking to convert the old stable into a sort of bungalow for you, assuming Tom is happy of course. It is theoretically his place.”
“Is that going to cost you lots of money?”
“Probably–but that’s life.”
“You are so kind to me, I really don’t deserve it.” She began to sniff and I passed her some tissues.
“Does Caroline feel the same, about moving in together?”
“In principle she does ...”
“There’s a but coming, isn’t there?”
“Yeah, she’d like to go on and have the operation but I’d like her to stay as a man–down there.”
“Ah,” I didn’t want be drawn into this decision; “So you need to sort that between you.”
“I was hoping you could speak with her.”
“I’ll listen to her, but I’m not prepared to say anything other than I’ll support whatever decision Caroline makes, to have the op or not, or even to revert to being man–but I don’t think she’d like to do that.”
“No, neither do I, but I think I could live with her as she is.”
“Talk it through with her, and let me know–but take your time, all of this is rather sudden, and I suspect any decision made in a hurry will cause repentance at leisure.”
“You’re probably right.”
I shrugged, “Anything else?”
“Not at the moment, but thank you for being so understanding and helpful.”
“I try to be, sometimes with more results than others. D’you need the toilet or anything?”
“Oh yes, please, I’m sure this bag is full.” I looked and it did look pretty full to me.
After dinner, I was loading the dishwasher when Caroline came out to speak with me on the pretext of bringing through some more dirty crocks.
“What did you think of what Jenny told you?”
“I see her taking and you giving, but if it’s what you want, we’ll accommodate you both somehow.”
“She’s very vulnerable at the moment.”
“So are you.”
“No I’m not, I’m tougher than I look.”
“So, because you’re so tough, you fell for Jenny while on the rebound from Julie.”
“I didn’t have a relationship with Julie.”
“But you’d like to have done, wouldn’t you?”
“I’ve got Jenny now.”
“I’m not sure who’s got who, but do be careful–if you think you want to go the whole hog, you’ll have to tell her, not let her dictate what you feel or want to do.”
“She doesn’t.”
“I’m neither blind nor deaf, and she leads you on a song and a dance as she wishes. Be very careful. She might just suck you dry and throw you out again.”
“I’m prepared to take that risk for her.”
“That’s between you two–let me know when you’ve made the decision.”
“I think I’ve more or less made it.”
“No, that’s reflexive stuff–you need to think about it seriously for a year or two.”
“I have.”
“Caroline, you haven’t–you’re excited that a pretty young slip of a girl finds you attractive in a dress, but there’s more to being happy than pleasing someone else. You also need to please yourself.”
“It’s what I want, Cathy.”
“Is it? And what if she decides she wants you dressed like a man again?”
“I’ve still got some of my previous wardrobe.”
“Bully for you. Come back and tell me in two weeks at the earliest, and see how you feel about each other and what ye want to do.”
“Two weeks? I know now.”
“Fine, where’s the issue then in waiting for two weeks?”
“It’s fine. Two weeks then.”
“Caroline, please make sure anything you buy today is what you want, not second to someone else’s wishes.”
“It isn’t.”
“Fine so it’ll be the same in a couple of weeks then won’t it?”
She left the room feeling under-gunned by the resident sharpshooter. I wondered if she really knew what was going on.”
Comments
Two weeks
Another variation into the Cameron brood/household? But the "two weeks" question, wouldn't that be just after Julie's op?
Mostly Harmless
Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1572
Hope that Jenny and Caroline can be happy, together.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
This is where I get lost.
Working out relationships.
This is where I get lost ... dealing with the emotional side of relationships. I've got a very unstable and poorly energised sexual compass that is combined with an uncertain gender definition. Inevitably this shows through into the emotional side. My wife is one of the few people who recognises the flaws and tries to address them without causing too much angst for either of us.
I wouldn't have a clue about advising others who share our various and different transgender situations because each and every one of us seems to have to walk a very different road.
Cathy is certainly right to advise caution.
Still lovin' it.
OXOXOX
Bev.
Growing Old Disgracefully
I try to be as neutral as possible.
I've had numbers of folk talk to me; thinking that they are T. I'm probably less com ital than Cathy for the simple reason I can not make life decisions for others. And, a couple have come back to me complaining about how rough it is. Do they want to blame me or make me feel guilty because they fucked their lives up?
This transition stuff can be like swimming with sharks; not for the faint at heart.
So, I really do get her not wanting to give advice.
Nice epi.
Gwendolyn
It is much more than giving
It is much more than giving advice, it is giving time. First love can seem incredibly immediate and you think it will be forever, but in the clear light of day and with distance sometimes, a better sense of judgement comes through preventing a kind of buyers remorse that can be very difficult for people in a hurried relationship.
If after two weeks or after Jenny is more or less mobile again, and Caroline has time to sort herself out and know what she wants, what she can live with basically or what she needs, then look at the relationship and see what goes.
I have had friends that did just what these two are contemplating. It rarely ends well, and one is usually stuck unless the partner is thoroughly Bi.
CaroL
CaroL
Why do i get
the feeling that Caroline is on a runaway train with an ill driver and no idea of how to stop, Please try and find the brakes Caroline, You need to think out your next moves carefully.
While it's more than possible that Jenny and Caroline could have an happy relationship, It is quite clear that there is a degree of manipulation by Jenny taking taking place, Hopefully then Caroline will take this into account when deciding any future they might have together, But you have to say the signs do not look good!
Kirri
Seems reasonable,
Time is on their side. I wonder if Jennie can handle a trans woman. Being a no-op is one of our choices, but presenting as female isn't.