It has been months I think since I last heard from Beth. I haven't seen her on and know that she was having some health challenges, but appeared to be improving.
Some of you here knew that I was a Muslim of the non-bomb making sect, until January of this year, and had adopted the first name of Khadijah in honor of Muhammad's first wife.
I am reading a certain main stream Author's stories again after 25 or so years. He has one series of books about 12 books long and with my experiences in the intervening years, I am more sensitive in recognizing certain tendencies that seem to be common among TG genre folk.
The way he and his team of researchers have handled certain subjects in these books makes me suspect that a good many of our stories right here in BCTS could survive and perhaps do well in the main stream market, especially those with relatively mild and brief TG content.
As I grow at the wordsmyth-ing racket, I find it fun, even entertaining to use words that the reader must pull out their Dyctionary to sus out the meaning.
Well, using Google Chrome, I think that they have a spell checker running that analyses everything I pen. Lately, I do notice that their spell checker seems less and less able.
Has anyone noticed this. Is Google deliberately dumming down, or is it simply due to the fact that there is a huge influx of young employees who have no respect for the trade?
I haven't written a word 4 months and I miss it a lot. I have some really radical story ideas and hope that I can somehow find the time to put them into bytes and bits soon.
I met a girl today; one of us, and she seemed quite happy and adjusted working the counter at Safeway, a local grocery store. I told her how thrilled to see one of use being treated decently and with respect. Some of us get none.
It made my day. As I finish this, I will return to my sick bed, wishing that she and all of us of the sisterhood will finally be given the lives we so long for.
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Well, I finally overcame the heat of my shyness and bought "50 Shades Of Grey". The thing I find amazing is the writing style. It just flows so naturally and there is never any need to stop and go back to figure out what happened. This is how I want to write when I grow up! :)
On another note: the protagonist is ME, and I need to get back to the book to see what happens to me.
I struggled and fought until I was too exhausted to continue, but felt that I had succeeded in resisting temptation. Heavenly Father had been kind to me in a very special way.
The attraction of a young college student to a rich and powerful man who led her to face her darkest weaknesses somehow drew me and made me feel guilty in spite of the fact that I did not sin. I was tempted but did not sin. So why did I feel so guilty, as if I had sinned?
I haven't been spending much time on here lately and expect to be here considerably less in the future. It is not that I have become a snob, or that I am depressed, but am just too busy to breathe any more, and I love what I am doing.
In truth, aside from the sadness of my losses once in a while, these are the happiest days of my life and I am pretty glad that I quit sucking on gun barrels.
So, I have been slaving away for years, secretly writing a romance novel. When I write, sometimes I really get into the story and actually try to live it, mostly to write the realisim. Sometimes I worked so hard that the windows in my office would fog up, depriving me of view of, harbor with huge plastic boat sitting in it. Or maybe I was sitting in steaming tub with rubber ducky and writing with laptop? Man, I got the good stuff this time! Woooeeeee!
So, I called the book "50 Shades", goodness those are a lot of sunglasses to carry around.
Finally I have found an author who writes stories with female protagonists who wear clothing! When I was writing, I wanted some art work with female warrior and all I could find is shapely hot women holding sword like it vegetable chopping knife.
Most of the time I successfully resist my exhibitionistic wanna be stripper inner self with great success. Though several years ago, I did go clubbing in not enough clothing, those days are long over for me and I strive to be as modest as a Nun, or more. It seems my Muslim days left a permanent mark on me.
I seem to have lost track of a story I wrote a few years ago. I think I published it here as "Construction Diva", and it was one of the few stories that I have written that actually attracted negative comments with a few people insisting that it could not happen in real life. LOL Well, I beg to differ, something quite similar DID happen to me.
I was supposed to start my trip tomorrow on my trip to Provo, but with the snow here in Portland, I plan to leave a day early so I do not have such long days traveling. I plan to take my lap top, but do not know about wifi access. So just checking the roads, they seem to be snowy but open. The Columbia Gorge is known to be treacherous and it is open now so I though it good to get while the getting is good. So, those who check on me, nothing bad going on here, just going to a re-union. Planning to return home Monday or Tuesday, Inshallah.
Several people from different compartments of my life have asked me to write my autobiography and I am finally feeling well enough to take on such a task. It will be a transgender (inter-sex) story, and it will also include every aspect of my life, including my success, failures and embarrassing moments. It will include all aspects of my spiritual journey.
I still have a lot to think about, but I think if it has to be sugar coated to avoid offending someone, then it is not worth the effort. It will include it all both smelly and fragrant.
It used to be that my internet passwords were simple, something easy to remember. After being victimised by unknown people in the last couple of years, I now have a book where I record my passwords, but in the last few days, something seems to be happening with several of my accounts. It is almost as if someone has gotten into some of my accounts and destroyed their password files, because accounts like Facebook, and several others, my passwords have stopped working.
Most of us, I believe, have very stylized ideas about what it means to be a woman in real life, and I must admit that my idea of a woman's life is vastly different than it was back in 1990, the initial start of my journey to my true self.
The most profoundly thrilling thing in life for me is music and in almost every genre from Apalachian Hill Country, to Tabla Turbo to Kathrine Jenkins to ZZ Top to Queen to Handel and I likes it loud enough for my subwoofer to make nail pops in my walls. My soul soars with the angels.
When I was in Thailand to get my body remodeled, there was a person there who was sort of the coordinator. She was TG,post op, Canadian, and had been a teacher. She drank a lot, a lot! Her job was to insure that we got to the hospital and then to the clinic afterward for thrice daily dilation, and generally see to our welfare. For her it was all about the bars, and male conversations. I could see she was deeply troubled and felt sorry for her, though she resisted any effort to help her to a less destructive life style.
So, I was sitting in a Family Home Evening with 6 other singles and it is about Articles of Faith 13. Then some guy starts going off on Gays and the it is of the devil thing. We've all heard it right. A quick google search should answer the questions you may have.
I finally had enough and he met the BITCH, though I was more gentle and loving and kind than I felt. I knew it would happen sooner or later. The battle is joined. I do not plan to give in lightly and I know several elders and a Bishop who will support me.
So, some of the stories here are really long and I can't read them in one setting, so I have been using a marker to mark the position of the slide thingie before I shut down for the night. Before you all laugh at me, how else can I do it? It is really troublesome to find my place again when I come back on line.
I am worried about getting the marks off my screen.
Is there some sort of book mark thingie I can use so I can come back to the right place?
In some areas of my life I am unapologetically weird. Pantyhose make me feel claustrophobic, so I always wore gartered stockings, which I gave up on when I was Muslim, because with floor length skirts, who needs anything but cotton anklets? So, now that I have rejoined a wider community, I can wear skirts up to my knees, so in more formal situations, I need to wear stockings again.
Since I began to seriously began to address my different-ness in 2001 the good folks at this site have carried me through crisis after crisis; 5 hospitalizations for mental breakdown, a SRS operation, the loss of my family and everything I cared about in life. I was three days from living on the street before things slowly began to turn around. It took years, 10 of them to finally feel like I really wanted to live again, and that did not begin to happen until early last March.
Ok, girls take out a pen and paper and be sure to jot down notes. Test to follow.
So, I spent a delightful morning at the Gyno docs while she taught he how I might get myself out of my pruned up Vagina problem. You see, I have been a bad little girl and stopped dilating about 2 years ago, and now I don't think a rabbit could do me.
Our life experiences give us all sorts of story ideas. It is just amazing.
Tonight I watched, "The Help", and I have no doubts in my mind that if the story is not literally true, it is in substance. Oddly, it took me back to my time with my family, and as I watched it, I realized that I had about the same status in my home as one of "them coloreds", and when they could no longer use me, I was fired. It was a dark, bleak realization but now I feel empowered.
Through the years, I have talked to other T folk who related the same sort of thing to me, it is not an uncommon experience
I'm quite sorry, but I am feeling a bit off, but please no cause for alarm. I promise not to do anything I shouldn't OK? I just need to emote a little here. If I do not feel better by Monday, I will seek to get back under care again.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
Space 80
Calimesa, CA 92320
USA
Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.
