Gwen Brown's blog

Speaking for us old people.

OK people, I can see an issue surfacing here. Lately there seems to be many more stories involving a culture that I am particularly ignorant of. I've never done any video games, unless Flight Simulator counts. And, I never did any role playing or comic books. I don't even have TV or cable.

So what some of you new authors are dealing with here is your grandma. So, I think a little more explanation and descriptiveness is in order if you want me, or any of us olds to read your stories.

From what I can gather in the stories I have read, the writing is nice.

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Trouble in the Internet dimension

For about a week, the internet has been quite wonkie. Chrome seems to have the influenza, and I've had to resort to IE7 to watch any movies. All this happened relatively suddenly. Is anyone else having issues?

I have been thinking of converting over to Linux but I have lots of classes to do first.

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More girls being born than boys.

OK, hold onto your hats. If you just do a casual search on the internet, you will find that there are 2, sometimes 3 girls being born for every boy. In Russia, the boys are smaller and less healthy also. This may lead to all sorts of conclusions about T folk. I am seeing a lot of it in Mormon families because they tend to have 4-7 children.

More to follow

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Expat Shield

Well, I don't think I'm breaking the law. Someone mentioned the program "Waterloo Road" and I decided that I wish to watch it, but somehow, this sort of programing is blocked between the North Amercan Colonies and the UK. Had heard of a thing called URL Anonomizer and downloaded Expat Shield, hoping it would be useful for several countries.

At first, I knew it gave me a url in London, but now I think it might be San Francisco, but I can still get UK programing. This means I probably do not know what I am doing.

So, does a URL of 10.200.xx.xx mean anything?

Gwendolyn

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A new kitty

Much to my surprise, I have a new kitty; the runt of the litter. She is yellow, with white tufts of hair. She has what look sort of like pixie wings just behind her front shoulders; hence the name Pixie. At 10 weeks old she is so tiny! She's sleeping inside my top right now, under my pull over dress, but over my T shirt, that says,"Run Like A Girl". Right now, I am fantasizing about being preggers. :) I am carrying the baby reall high right now. It will be months until I deliver her.

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Overcome with grief

I became estranged from my family on Dec 23, 2004. I don't know whose Idea it was but recently I wrote a letter to my youngest daughter and her husband refused to take delivery, saying she did not want it. I took the loss of the family very hard and some of you will recall that I was hospitalized a half dozen times, tried suicide twice and spent 3 years on some very heavy psych drugs.

The last two years have been the happiest days of my life, until I wrote that letter.

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Creative drinking and doping

I am about to shock you all because I have done something that none of you would ever suspect of me. In years past, sometimes I would get good and smashed on beer and legal drugs and start writing. I've recently found more stories lurking on my hard drive that I had no idea I had written. I thought that "Houston, We Have A Problem" was a fluke, but after finding these others, I wonder what else is hidden on my drive that I have no knowledge of?

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A Husband/Companion

As the years pass, it becomes increasingly painful and lonely to not have a husband/ companion. The need to talk this out and think about the practicality of the idea has grown really clear to me. So, earlier tonight, as I was out riding, I began to consider who that I know could offer the best council.

The Mormon Church has been wonderful to me; supportive, dependable and gentle. But are they my family? They say they are, and in the next months they will have the chance to show it.

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Now I understand BDSM

Previously, I had thought that "Bondage Discipline Sadism and Masochism" were, creepy, perverted and lewd. However, today I had an epiphany about it, at least some of it.

I have often joked about needing a spanking, and finally understood that being raised in a loveless, brutal childhood, I came to see being beaten as a sort of affection.

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Something exceedingly stupid.

So, a good friend of mine at church, mostly figured me out, or at least I thought she did. But, later she told me she had not and to have me talk to her about it was really jarring to her. I've been with this church for 18 months and am extremely happy. Now this latest stupidity on my part feels really awful and I am very frightened of the consequences.

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Stories: when tears are appropriate

This morning I found one of my stories in Random Solo. I was surprised to see it there because I had previously felt so embarassed with my early work, that I did not want it to be seen.

Reading it took me back more than 10 years to before I transitioned. And yes there were the usual word order problems and awkward sentences.

One thing that struck me was how easily Credence was driven to tears. In the past, I have been critical of other authors in their liberal use of the tear in their stories. Now it looks a bit like the pot calling the kettle black! GAD ZOOKS !

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Lulu Downloads

OK, I am doing this out in the open, (1) so I don't have to bug Erin, (2) thinking maybe someone has already had this problem, knowing full well that I am not the sharpest tool in the shed.

So, I went to Lulu and bought Tiffany Shar's, "Bears Know Best" but am stupidly struggling with this stifling download process. I have the Kindle PC program, but don't know what is compatible with what.

I have a PC with Win 7 and when I try to download Apple's reader, it won't go. It says there is an error.

I download stuff all the time from Amazon because they make it easy for dummies.

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Video card possessed?

Um so this girl freely admits that she is not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to computers. So, this girl's computer is being funny. When posting on some sites, it looks like the ribbon on her typer thingy is running out of ink. Well, this girl does not believe there is such a ribbon in her computer, at least she has never found one. Where would they put such a thing?

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A warning about Facebook

I notice that lots of authors on BCTS are also on Facebook and some have friended me. I noticed some funny stuff going on about a month ago and then they said that they wanted each user to use their real name. Then I noticed that I was getting things in my email that were hostile, so I closed both my FB accounts down. I do not plan to return to them, and may open new email accounts if it gets worse.

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Ocular Migrane

I just thought I would say this while I have a chance so nothing gets left unsaid. Just to be clear, last night I recieved nothing more than a a scare, according to the doctor, but my roomate won't let me out of her sight today, so it scared both of us.

So, no drama, but i just wanted to make sure that I told everyone here what a great bunch you are with the exception of one or two who get crabby now and again. I do not think that anyone here has ever had a cross word for me, even when I was spouting radical Islamic propaganda. :)

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Musings of a demented mind.

This blog is not really about anything at all, so those who are easily bored can stop reading now. :)

One of my frustrations with fiction writing is that ALL female warriors seem to be required to be nearly naked. This I do not understand, because anyone with breasts can tell you that the girls need to be aggressively supported and protected for a woman to be much of a warrior at all. Not only do they bounce around, but getting hit on one is a real owwie. It is confusing to me where this prejudice comes from on a site where many of us are professing to be women inside. Hmmm.

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Pseudo "Menses".

Well, I am sufficiently certain that I am having a cycle of some sort that I have downloaded an Ap called "My Days" to see if there is any veracity to the idea at all. I've been suspecting this for quite a while, so in two or three months I will know for sure. I placed my start date at the 22nd of July.

This is hard to understand, because there is no cycle to my hormones, so either my brain is having a field day with me or the moon is sending me suggestions.

So, do any of you have similar delusional states?

Gwendolyn

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Seriously Depressed.

So, I intended to go camping this week end and when I got where I was going, there was lightning, rain and a tornado warning, so I wound up sleeping indoors.

As part of my meticulous planning for this trip, I managed to leave my Trazidone at home. By the time I got home, I'd been off it two days, and last night I felt I was doing so well that maybe this was the time to just quit it cold turkey.

Last night was so hot that I did not sleep well at all but did manage to get a few hours sleep in my, by now, sticky itchy sheets.

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SMILE, smile, smile !!!!

It gets tiresome saying this, but I will once again. SMILE ladies, Smile.

One of my biggest frustrations is when one of you puts your photo up and somehow I can look clear through to your very souls and see the pain, fear, lack of entitlement that lurks there; though poorly hidden.

Do what every young girl does. Spend time in front of the mirror, lots of it; time that is. Some of you seem to think you look more like the front end of a locomotive than a woman, but there is actually only one difference between a born woman and us, and that is entitlement!

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Women with balls.

I'm still mildly seething, sort of like a dragon with smoke coming out my nostrils, but no flames. In my time being in the world of women, as one, I have never encountered a woman who acted like a man, aside from simply openly hostile, man hater, lesbian women, and even their presentation was, well lacking.

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Please, how do I do this again?

So, I think that I might redo some of my stories and resubmit them. OK, so I know how to post them, but I am not sure how to get rid of the old one. Do I just highlight the whole business and then press delete, or is there a better way?

Thanks

Gwendolyn

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Writing tips for novels

I am in a writer's group once a month and much to my surprise, one of the small group is a published author and has written a few novels that I think are doing well. J P Blackmer, does that ring any bells? He writes Scottish fiction set about 600 years ago.

So, now to the point. He said that when he writes a book, he writes a little bit here, and some there, and finally in the middle and when he thinks he has a story then he works out ways to join all the little bits together. Hmmm. I wonder if I should try that?

Gwendolyn

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Please help rename this story.

I would love some help with a story of mine, "Battle Field to Crib". So many people, including myself think that story title is well, lame. So, I would like some suggestions on a new name.

I think I am going to greatly extend this story to 2 or 20 chapters, and if I decide to try my luck selling anything on Amazon or where ever, it will likely be this story, after I publish it here. I like the sweet, gentle story line.

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