I've fallen a couple times recently and today the pain is so bad...so bad. Hot pads ice packs vicoden, hot baths and Spem in Alium will eventually make it stop.
There is an important Video out, one of several, that I think represent the best, most positive information on Transgenderism. I posted this before but then the Hard Drive crashed and it was all lost.
Having just returned from Genetic counseling there were surprises.According to the Doctors there, a karyotype is no longer exclusively used to determine gender. She said there are at least two other factors that determine that. Androgen sensitivity is one and the other is very costly to isolate. For DES folk, she acknowledged that and said that there are many other substances beside that which cause birth defects.
I only put the "Caution" sign up for this chapter because it was quite draining for me to write, but I do not know how it will affect others. This project is not going to be the 100 or so pages I had thought for the simple reason, I will die if I keep dwelling on this story. I will post Chapter 2 in a few minutes
It is not as detailed as I thought it would be for the same reason. I apologize for the long delay between Chapters. Chapter 3, the final installment should be posted by the end of next week and that will be the end of this awful business.
Tonight in a meeting I was told by a man connected to publishers that he wanted to review all my stories. He told me that he felt that my talent was such that he was interested in anything I have written.
I do not know what happens next. He has access to BCTS to read my stories.
I feel like a shameless drama queen tonight and really need a lot of sympathy and hugs. I know I am supposed to be this solid rock "Mom" type, but I'm having a weak moment that is about 9.0 on the Richter scale.
I'm sick, really sick, and don't feel good at all from that damnable flue. This stuff is bloody awful. Strangely, all the actual symptoms have moved on but I am just worn out, tired, discouraged, weepy, and whiny. I have been sleeping more than 12 hours a day and nothing has been getting done. All the dishes are dirty and the other room looks like a pig stye.
It is doubtful that I will have time to write again, so I am just going to throw a few ideas out for what we could call, "Muse Candy", for anyone to use.
From my UK friends I frequently take the piss about Americans and their bloomin guns. Geeze, I have never shot or killed anyone, and would not enjoy it full stop.
Katherine Jenkins, my favorite singer is doing "Requiem for a Soldier" on the grounds of a huge old castle in Wales. Can you tell me the location, please?
So, I finally got an MD at the Veterans Hospital that had active brain cells, and she told me things I had never heard before. Generally speaking, other women, even natural ones, will not share these details.
In two weeks, it will have been seven years since Sephrina recruited me to come to this site. I was a right mess when I got here. Looking at the Calender, it must have been the night that I returned from the hospital because of suicidal ideation, and had just been told that on the next day, Christmas Eve, I was being thrown out and installed in my own apartment, thus ending abruptly a marriage of nearly 40 years. By the time the divorce was final, it would be 40 years, 4 months. What the hell, this was supposed to be for life !
There is so much peace in driving out through the desert, but I have never been out there in the winter. Sometimes I see pictures with snow out in the sage brush and wonder how it got there. We used to go out in the desert to camp. I loved looking up at the stars at night. Sometimes I would lay there under the jewel bright heavens and doze. Once in a while I'd wake up and look at the stars and I would notice that the Milky Way had swiveled a little. I remember that sort of like a time lapse movie. The nights when the moon was gone were the best.
So, I keep hearing more and more about Windows 8. Is anyone using it? What do you think? My Computer is "OLD", like 2009 old. It has a Window Experience Index of 5.1, what ever that is. An Intel Core Quad CPU Q8300 2.5 Ghz, 6.0 GB memory, 64 bit OS, and one TB hard disk, about half full.
I'm using Firefox unless I have to get on the VA and then I use Chrome.
I've been on the 'moans for about 12 years now and can not bitch about my breasts. I think they are size B, at least one of them. You did know that breasts are not equal? My band size is 40 or sometimes 42. I should probably be slapped silly for complaining, but no one seems willing to do so.
My complaint is that in that size, the bras look um "serviceable", you know like Military Issue. YUK !!!
The pretty, lacy, pushupy, vavoomy, sexy ones only fit the little girls with like a 32 or 32 band. I am like totally green with envy. The BITCHES !!!!
So, tonight I went to TDOR. I was surprised that the attendance was around 200 people, about 2/3 MtF folk. FtM folk were there along with some Lesbians but not many gay men according to my GADAR.
Or Lauren Mcnamara. She has lots of Youtube videos. I am not actually sure why she would reveal she is Trans. In looking at her videos, I am not sure why she would reveal anything at all about her past. She is bullet proof in my opinion.
She may be talking about Trans issues because her own presentation is so strong. Please take notice of her voice. The pitch is in the female range, and her inflection and resonance make so many of us seem like pitiful pretenders.
The following video shows a wonderfully vivacious transgender woman. And, CNN gave her great and respectful coverage. As to her appearing in the Victoria's Secret show, who knows?
It seems from my perspective that the battle for rights is joined in a way I have not seen before, at least in the West. I know that in Washington DC there are those who are pressing for a Rights Bill, that this time includes Transgender folk. If you remember the old bill was called ENDA and it threw us under the bus.
To be clear, I think it is mostly the FtM folk who are driving this as they do not seem as easily cowed as most MtF folk, or perhaps I am the only one who is cowed.
I was extremely surprised to find this on a TV Station in Salt Lake City. Part of the video refers to several transgender women living in Portland, Oregon. I am none of them. Lots of people here know my real name, it is no secret.
This article is also mentioned in a thread on mormondialogue.org. I am really sorry, just reading about it has upset me so much that it is obvious I can not participate in it at all. I think the tactics being used are absolutely despicable and likely to put genuine efforts back years.
I saw a blog about De-transitioning and read the blog it referred to and the replies. Days later, it finally sinks in that while the circumstances surrounding my coming out and transitioning are dreadfully sad, and painful, the last few years are the best of my life.
It is wrong, just wrong for me to keep trying to be a gate keeper any longer. I just wanted to save people pain. But, what if in trying to save people pain, I just increased their pain?
Just feeling a little melancholy and shaky this morning, and I have to sleep before I get up at 7:00 AM. I've been approached my a PHD Doctor from a big local university who tells me that he knows that we have not been treated very well, and he wants me to help him make that better.
Those who know me, can confirm that I live a quiet life, and try to avoid the drama and hand wringing that makes so many of us miserable. I am no activist, not one bit. And, I am pretty much a prude, just trying to do the best I can to live like billions of other women.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
Space 80
Calimesa, CA 92320
USA
Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.
