OK here's the deal. I am taking a break here; rethinkin what I am gonna write, and I am sort of tired of the ideas that some people are pushing at me. No drama here, I'm just standing up for myself. I am finding that certain things I do just retraumatise me, so I'm not gonna do them any more. That would be dumm. I'm not answering any more calls that are unlisted.
I'm gonna finish Lt Katia and write an end to Ms Frankenstein. After that I don't know what I am gonna write. And no, I am not on skype all the time anymore.
Due to your work load Erin, I did not send this directly to you in hopes that someone else can help me with this. There are a few of my stories that I don't feel good about and I would like to either unpub them or delete them. I thought there was a place that I could access to just unpub them but have not found it. Can someone help me.
As part of the continuing saga of computer woes, I have been completely unable to find a phone number for Norton. There is the Norton Community Forum, but so far the posts there are mostly complaining about Norton's unresponsiveness to their problems. Did the founder of the company sell out or something? Maybe I should buy a Mac?
Well, with my laptop in the pit, I have been thinking about alternatives, and then today I saw Steve Jobes speaking about the new Ipad. $499 opened my ears a little. It'll have Wifi and Cell Network internet available. So, completely ignoring the fact that the release date is the 11th I went looking for one to ask questions. Did you know that Verizon is selling the Ipad? Well, I went into the store and started asking all sorts of laptop questions, and then the people there said, "Let's talk about the XOOM?"
Well, I had an MRI a couple weeks ago, and now I know why things are the way they are. As far as I am concerned, I function pretty well, have no physical disabilities, and have been pretty successful in life. One thing that has always bothered me is that in certain social situations, I just mess up. I just don't understand what is going on.
I just about have Ch 3 ready, finally, and this afternoon was looking at the other two chapters to see how they matched up with Ch 3 and at the heading of one of the chapters, it said the word count was about 40,000 words. Well I already knew that from my having done most of my writing in MS Word; though I am now using Works until I work out some issues with using Word. That works out to about 25 pages and for me that seems like a comfortable amount of work to do per chapter.
OK, sorry people, I am not an English teacher, but I could sure use a little help here. I am aware that the apostrophe can be used to show possession or ownership. However, a word like "harm" can not own or possess, so I think it goes after the end of the word, like "harms'". Is that correct?
I am sorry this is not pretty. It really is an ugly thing to say about one's self. And, it gets obscured in psychological theory so complex that I doubt that even the greatest minds can comprehend it. This is not a poor me blog, but it is brutally honest; candidly brutal. I am also quite sure that there are many here who suffered through things in life at least as bad and many times worse than I have.
I don't want anyone to jump to confusions over this but I am feeling a bit goose bumpy. A fledgling publishing company has offered me the chance to write short articles on Sustainability, the Environment, and the development of new energy sources. I am not an engineer, but I do have loads of hands on experience in the field, and have developed an opinion on what the difficulties are, and what needs to happen.
Something has been jabbering away at the back of my mind for some time and I'd like to share it with the Lurker Psych people here. Am I being paranoid, I don't think so, because what better way to study people of our ilk than in one of our sanctuaries?
The initial 3 or 4 years after transition were pure unmitigated hell, because of the loss of my old life, especially my family. However, the last few years have been much better; the pain having finally dulled to a manageable level.
I need some help on a little exercise and I just know that one of you geeks can have the answer in less time than it takes to write this blog.
A habitable planet has been located that is 800 light years from earth. The Colonisaton ship can accelerate at 3 earth gravities. The exhaust gas velocity is about 97% of the speed of light. Facilities within the ship will hold felt gravity at 1.1 Gs. How long will it take to get there?
Gosh, it has taken so long to calm down and for my muse to once again feel comfortable in my flesh, Wallah ! Ch 3 is about half written and I hope to publish it this week. To both of my readers, LOL, I am sorry that I have been away for so long.
Once again, after Lt Katia's rest, she is in Afghanistan. Remember the war has now gone on for 20 years; the West seems unable to leave; the need for the rare minerals is so great. China is mining most of it but the West and China have come into a tense cooperation agreement.
Katia will face danger and startling personal revelations.
This is a really interesting article. The problem in GAZA is huge. And, now that I think of it, though we do not hear about it much, I am thinking that the problem is a big problem in Saudi Arabia too. Which explains, perhaps, why a Saudi man that I know seems really uninterested and not at all alarmed by my own status. Hmmmmm
Over the week end, my roomate and I drove 1100 miles, attended the funeral of her grandma, met relatives. The weather was great, the roads uncrowded, the car ran perfectly and this morning after sleeping in my own bed all night, I was given the gossip that Hindi and I are lesbian lovers. LOL It is what the dead grandma was telling the family.
Well, sorry, I don't do girls, did one and she was not to my taste. I much prefer to have 'is lolly in my mouth. LOL
I've been having increasing head aches for the last several months. They began when I was about 20 and were only about twice a year, now I have them about once a month. When they started, they would give me a shot of Novocane at the base of my skull. Leave it to Doctors to eschew the simple solution and now I use Vicoden to knock them down. The problem is that Vicoden is of lessening effecacy, so they finally decided to um take a look.
In 2005, when I came out, the Doctors said I had a condition called Hirsuitism (excessive hair), and it seems related to a genetic disorder mostly seen in females. I spent $7,000 getting almost all of it removed with a Laser, and it has been wonderful. However, since then, either owing to the Laser work, or to my use of Estrogen, my skin is more tender than most women I know. I can only tolerate certain fabrics and certainly not Nylon or Latex, either in gloves or "play wear". When I sweat, I don't get really wet, but my body really reacts to the salt, or acid (?) and I itch like crazy.
I am troubled tonight, and I don't seem to be able to sort my feelings out very well right now. I have been coming to this site just 2 weeks over 4 years, and I have come to know and have great affection for a number of the Authors here. I really appreciate the patience and understanding that Erin has shown me when my emotions were unmanageable. It is posible that I was the biggest drama queen ever to come here, and in spite of it all, I don't think anyone has ever sent an unkind email or comment to me. I am so thankful for that.
I got the following email from my Son when I got back to Ohio, and had Computer access again:
Dad,
I think I have hit that place where you were when you decided that Christianity or the Christian's definition of God was not for you. When I was having a child out of wedlock and Christy was accusing mom of cheating on you, only to find out that Christy was doing bad things herself. What awful days those must have been.
So, on the otherwise pleasantly uneventful trip to Iowa, I dropped my phone into coffee. It was really awful as a dipper. So, Cathy I am Ok but out of touch until I get home, inshallah, on the 29th. Beth, I did so want to read your story and will, I promise. Any one else, I did hope to get ch 3 of Lt Katia up but now it will wait. Sorry.
Please Erin, do not be offended. I know that you are very busy, so I just thought I would post this question in the open so that anyone having time could answer it so that I did not take your time.
On Chapter 1 of Lt Katia, I cut and pasted it to MS Works, straighened it out and then cut and pasted it to BCTS. It went in flawlessly and I did not have to insert any paragraphs or any thing.
I just thought it would be helpful to talk to some of the newcomers about my point of view in writing. Yes, I am Muslim, and was fairly heavily emersed in that culture until just recently. So, my understanding of the cultures is somewhat better than some. I have no Military experience in the Middle East. Mine was during the Vietnam war and I was a non combatant. Yes, I was Military Police for 3 years … It’s complicated.
I stold this phrase from AE Brain, LOL But reading about it, I wonder if at least some Transgenderisim is simply a variation of protandrous dichogamous pseudohermaphroditism. I hope that none of you missed the clip on CNN where a Doctor said that for example, a Mtf Brain is more like that of a woman, and visa versa.
Hmmmmm.
Dragging the world, kicking and screaming out of the dark ages.
I had planned to publish "Lt Katia in Afghanistan, Ch 2, on Tuesday, but suddenly suffered some insufferable, slothful behaviour from my computer! GAH ! Good old Murphy for you. Well, it all seems to be working once again after marathon sessions with Microsoft, Norton, and AMI. It was all a bit much for a mild mannered, compliant, obedient, woman to handle, though we did avoid actual tears over it all. I did, snark snark, allow the hot sounding, Punjabi man in India to think that I might be in danger of a serious tear storm.
About 7:00 PM tonight, I started upgrading (?) my computer from Vista to Win 7. It is now almost 1:00 AM and I am asking myself just what in the hell I was thinking? They changed things that I liked just fine, now I gotta figure out how to do them now. I was so happy being able to fun two screens and now none of that works. Norton doesn't even look right any more.
Now I am even thinking of going out and buying a refurbished Apple. YUKKKK!!! I hate Apple computer company. Like I would rather swallow a fence post.
Well, I was talking to one of my UK friends the other night and when we hung up, my computer froze. It took me several tries to restart it before I could get it running again, and along the way I figured out that either SKYPE or one of the messingers was causing the problem. In my trying to figure it out, I see that SKYPE downloaded a new version on 12/2, and after that is when the problem started.
I am hoping that this is a safe place to say this ?
In a few weeks, a dear friend of mine is coming from Saudi Arabia to attend College in Portland. He is a very good man, and we get along so well that if things were different, I would marry him with no hesitation. (We all know what differences they might be) He and I just have so much to talk about. There is a heart connection there that I can not explain.
There used to be professors at University of Hawaii (Milton Diamond), and one at Umich, (Who seems to have been completely written out of the historical record?) who were studying Transgender Issues, and of course there was pioneering work done in the Netherlands in the early 90's, but lately I have not heard any new News. Of course there was the work done at a University in Australia that had done preliminary identification on a Transgender Gene, but in the last year, I have not heard anything new on that front.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
Space 80
Calimesa, CA 92320
USA
Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.
