I was just reading a story and it seemed to jog something in my memory. Ever wary of false memories, I am fairly certain that this one is the real McCoy.
I was a tiny, effiminate boy, in the 5th percentile on weight and 25th percentile on height at around 12 years old. I know that this was post pubescent because I started at 10, but Mr Wiggly required very infrequent attention.
Along about this time, Mom started bringing home "Vitamins", little gell pills about the size of a pea. By the time I was about 17 I was about 5'6" and around 135lbs, I think.
Well, in a talk with a member of a very conservative religion, I was trying to help him to understand GID folk better. He started off asking if I had been born male and I said that I had actually beem born somewhat both, (Intersexed). He'd never heard of that. So then in the conversaton I told him that I had two natural born children, born to my X. So he said, then you were male. I told him, well sort of. So then he asked me when I first realised that I was sexually attracted to males, and I told him I never was and never actually had penetrative sex with one.
I saw a CNN clip about Commic Con, and OMG, my imagination is like totally captured ! Wow!
I was thinking that if I get involved in it, I would like to be "Katia" in my girl rambo story. Of course that means losing the 30lbs I have been storing on my body, but I can just see myself in a butt length Black wig with blood red highlights, a black costume with black leggings with all sorts of dials and vents on the leggs, a sexy top and a holster for my "Noisy Cricket" and of course my enhanced sword! No stillettos, though, you can't really run and fight in those things!
An online conversation I was just having caused me to remember taking the Rorschach test, along with the MMPI and a whole bunch of other stuff. The Rorschach Test made no sense to me at the time, and I am not even sure that I finished it. One does look like a human pelvis to me but in a purely anatomical sense, not a sexual one. I just looked it up on wiki and have to say that it seems even less relevant than when I was taking a ton of drugs.
Has anyone taken this test and did it make any sense to you? Should we question the sanity of those who think the results mean something?
Yep, I'm gonna go work the hot stuff again, poking around in live electrical panels, climbing a few poles, pullin some wire, and changing some 10,000 horse motors. Yep, it will be back to $36 dollars an hour and all the beer I can drink after work. Anyone got any idea how bad it hurts if I slip a spike and mash my tits on the side of a big old oily pole with giant splinters?
I started my journey first reading at Fiction Mania, and then both reading and writing at Storysite. I think I was lurking at this site sometime around 1999. I am not sure when Erin started this site so I could have been here as soon as the site existed, but I do not know when that was.
So, well I was sitting in a meeting the other night, and one of the "experts" said that many GID folks are some form of Aspergers. This was a meeting put on my some political, and marketing people who thought themselves to be pretty highly, um smart. For some reason, I saw them to be self serving, snobbish, obnoxious prigs.
So, anyhow today I started thinking about what they said about GID and aspergers. Gee, I was never diagnosed with it, though I seem to have some of the same troubles that they do. This is a lot to think about.
One of the stories here got me curious about the "Star Wars" series, for purely technical reasons. :) So, I began to watch the entire series again from I-VI. In Epi IV, Han Solo mentioned that his ship would do 1.5 light speed. Hmmmm that is just plodding along and is really not much good for space travel. In Lili's present story, she mentioned that the drive she is peddling is capable of 100,000 times light speed; something just barely useful considering the scale of the Universe, or even our own Galaxy.
I sat in a meeting of people who represent the GBL community who "say" they want to represent the T community more effectively tonight. This is a Democratic action group, and I quickly figured out that their organisation is floundering and they want to fix it. In my experience, organisations that try to save themselves are already dead.
I don't know how this perpetrator will survive another year, and if he does, I hope that he spends it hiding in a dark closet, trembling in fear of his victims hunting him down and killing him in the most unimaginably painful way anyone could think of.
This is substantially what my stepfather did to me, and I still remember my son asking me 10 years ago how come I was never happy. I hope that people like this spend their after life in the hottest part of hell, even if I have to be there for wishing that be their fate.
So here we are, moving on Monday. Last night the girls both graduated college and I am happy for them. So, today Hindi took her family and went to see Niagara Falls, that monument to the arrogance of Man. Alexa came in with her Mum and Dad and BF and began packing her things. I was alone at the house until they showed up and enjoyed the quiet.
It was with a sense of sadness and rage that I read some news about children being mistreated in Care Homes in the UK. I have several friends there who have had horrific experiences in places like that, and I realised that the news of these further atrocities was likely to dredge up feeling from the past that will make them feel quite broken and sad. I am so sorry for your having to relive the past and wish that I could some how make things better for you all, but then I am not God am I?
I've had a PM that makes me think I should clarify my opinion on the use of Prescription Drugs. After 9/11 their use way more than doubled, and I was one of the people who was put on them.
I really like the great stories here. Once in a while my patience wears thin on the TG genre and I go looking for something else. I watch an author like Apache and Lazlo Zalesac. He has a really great one up about Corporate America and I can tell you with authority that it is the most factual, true to life story I have seen on the subject. I am sure that some of the members here can identify with it. There is NO sex. There is no menu so you will have to fumble with the address bar to get through the chapters.
Gwendolyn's Muse, "Khadijah" is really confused with me right now, wondering just what I am up too. Those who have been following "Lt Katia in Afganistan" may have perhaps felt that she would end up a Nigab'd once warrior living in seclusion in the home of her love intrest. And to be frank, I had been thinking that she might too.
I was able to download a programe called Expat Sheild, an can now access the wonderful and fascinating world orf the BBC. I say this seriously and in no way mean any ridcule to anyone.
The TG episoce is one hour long, without commercials, and is quite excellent. There are a half dozen sub plots and like someone else, I found the parts about the girl with a brain tumor, and the GID boy to be especially moving.
I have been thinking about cleaning up some of my unfinished stories. After Ch 4 of Lt Katia, I was going to write the final chapter of MS Frankenstein but when I looked at the comments and reads, discovered that it just did not sell that well. I had thought it was a very good story but perhaps not. So, I guess I will ask for input from the readers.
Is this story worth finishing? If I get a few comments saying that it is, perhaps I'll do the final chapter. If not, I will just let it die a natural death.
Eh what with all this talk of family crests and such, it prompted me to explore mine a bit. If the "Sun" can invent outraveous lies then I ought also.
So I went looking on the Internet for the "Boucher" place of origin and family crest. Gads, we actually have one! It looks like they were part of the Norman invasion around 1066. http://www.houseofnames.com/boucher-family-crest
So tonight after I got home from my volunteer job in Cleveland, my roomate had fixed Matzo Ball soup and then we sat around talkig about the school year and how happy they were that it was almost over. All this made me begin to think about my own life and how I would describe it.
I was so astonished to day when I posted Ch 3. It went up just as I had written it!!! Thank you Erin!
This story is a horse of a different color, and in looking at the two previous stories, I am satisfied with the Kudos and read counts. I did not set out to be a star, but to write from my heart.
Ch4 will be the last. I hope that you will enjoy it.
Here is a neat web page done by a trans woman. I hate using that term but must because if I just called her a woman, as I call myself, you would think that she knew nothing.
This highlights the struggle of larger T folk very well. I know that they can not change what is in their heads and they are stuck with a body that they feel considerable pain over. My only, heart felt, suggestion is to do the best you can.
This is about Violence in stories and may be triggering to many.
So, some of the stories I'm reading just take me to a very dark place and make me very bad company. A few times, various people have asked me to write my own story, so I started on it. Below is an excerpt. This is not for the faint of heart. It spans about a 3 month period in my life. Does anyone really want to read 15 or 16 years of this crap? Does it make you feel like someone beat you up?
I was wondering if any of the professionals here know anything about cases where female hormones were used on male children at a very early age; say, starting about one year old? I am looking for development of the wider pevlic bones, shoulder structure, and the seemingly more flexible ligament structure of a genetic female.
It is part of a story idea that is growing in the dirt in a dark place in the basement of my mind.
Well, today I finally got some measure of vindication with the psych crowd. A young woman doing her Doctoral Theisis at a local Uni called me on the phone and we talked for two hours, using all my minutes up. Still, I got a chance to say exactly what I thought of the treatment protocol used on me. During the conversaton she did tell me that she knew a twoman married to a man and they were very happy. You can not imagine how healing that was for me. I had previously thought that no men were marrying twomen. If any of you are holding out, I would really like to know anonimously.
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