So tonight after I got home from my volunteer job in Cleveland, my roomate had fixed Matzo Ball soup and then we sat around talkig about the school year and how happy they were that it was almost over. All this made me begin to think about my own life and how I would describe it.

Well, it started out definitely NC (Non-consensual), Forced Fem, and Bad Boy to Good Girl for sure. I am completely certain of that. I remember how I used to torment my bosses because I knew I was really good at what they paid me to do, so being a prick, I did evil things. Working at a Drinking Water treatment plant part of the time, I never failed to tell them how much their water smelled like dead rats and oil. Of course I'd giggle at that and then saunder off to get something done. Once in a while, someone would ask me how soon I'd get a job done and I'd tell them something sarcastic and nasty like, "Well, before you asked, I was gonna be done in 15 minutes, but now it will be 2 hours". Most of the time I'd still finish in the 15 minutes but it was fun to make them miserable.

After the shit from 9/11 hit the fan, I eventually had a nervous breakdown because of what Bush and his cronies were doing. Then they put me on a bunch of Drugs, and that caused me to really start looking at what a miserable jackass I was. Crap that I'd ignored for most of my life started coming out of my head like termites out of a burning log, and it was not long before I had age regression that left me with the emotional capacity of a 10 year old. After a while there was the Castration, and extreme body modification and home grown um appliances sticking out of my chest.

All in all, I became that which I feared, and was greatly ashamed of, but in time I adapted and after the sorrows have followed a very happy ending. It is a new thing for me to finally fess up to what a bad example of a male I was. A Jewish friend of mine once said that God put me into a Tickun. It is where God puts the shoe on the other foot. I accept this lesson with gratitude. He knew how to teach me and make me a better person. Hopefully I make a much better woman.

How would you describe yourself?

Much peace

Khadijah