Marvelous Gadgets

Blonde Joke-23

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THE FINAL CHAPTER
Blonde Joke
Chapter Twenty-Three
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

What do you get when you put several blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes

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This story is 25 words long.

Blonde Joke-22

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Twenty-Two
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

Can you name some of the inventions blondes have developed?
1. Tricycle kickstand.
2. Solar flashlight.
3. Fire proof matches.
4. Inflatable dartboard.
5. Glass hammer.
6. Black light bulb.
7. Boomerang grenade.

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This story is 34 words long.

Blonde Joke-21

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Twenty-One
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

Why do blondes smile during lightning storms?
They think their pictures are being taken.

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This story is 22 words long.

Netherworlds - Chapter 11

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Netherworlds had a lot of different races, as well as the ability to decide on a dungeons-and-dragons type alignment, which determined what quests were available and who you could group with. Liara, Taur’othen, Gorokka, Brynhilda, and the rest of Dyslexics Untied (our guild) were Neutral Good, which as far as I can tell is basically obeying the law but only if people are watching, and trying to help people as much as possible. Chaotic evil guilds were so common that it tended to make world Player vs. Player combat really imbalanced, because Chaotic Evil is going around slaughtering stuff not paying attention to what people THINK, and because you’re chaotic you’re allowed to kill pretty much anyone that you don’t have loyalties to, and sometimes people that you do.

Netherworlds

Chapter 11

By Taveena


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This story is 137 words long.

Blonde Joke-20

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Twenty
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

How many blondes does it take to play hide and seek?
One.

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This story is 20 words long.

Blonde Joke-19

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Nineteen
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

A one armed blonde is hanging from a tree. How can you make her fall?
You wave at her.

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This story is 27 words long.

Blonde Joke-18

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Eighteen
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

How can you tell if a Blonde has been working on a computer?
White-Out ® on the screen.

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This story is 25 words long.

Blonde Joke-17

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Seventeen
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

What does a blonde owl say?
What? What?

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This story is 16 words long.

Blonde Joke-16

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Sixteen
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

Did you hear about the blonde who thought she had a twin sister?
She didn’t realize she was looking in the mirror.

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This story is 31 words long.

Blonde Joke-15

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Fifteen
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

And, of course, the ultimate blonde joke is, “What’s black and blue and brunette?”
A brunette that’s told one too many blonde jokes.

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This story is 33 words long.

Blonde Joke-14

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Fourteen
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

How can you keep a blonde occupied for hours?
Give her a card that says, “Turn over,” on each side.

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This story is 28 words long.

Blonde Joke-13

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Thirteen
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
An Italian suppository.

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This story is 19 words long.

Blonde Joke-12

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Twelve
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

Why don’t bosses let blondes take lunch breaks?
So they don’t have to retrain them if they find their way back.

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This story is 31 words long.

Blonde Joke-11

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Eleven
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like Hell. She’s got a hand grenade in her mouth.

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This story is 32 words long.

Blonde Joke-10

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Ten
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.

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This story is 23 words long.

Blonde Joke-09

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Nine
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
When you have a patch and a tire pump to reinflate it.

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This story is 31 words long.

Blonde Joke-08

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Eight
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs?
They keep breaking them with the hammers.

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This story is 23 words long.

Blonde Joke-07

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Seven
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde,
and a smart blonde are walking down the street
when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?

The dumb blonde. There’s no such thing as
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or a smart blonde.

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This story is 52 words long.

Blonde Joke-06

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Six
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

How many blonde jokes are there?
None. They’re all true.

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This story is 19 words long.

Blonde Joke-05

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Five
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Three. One to mix the dough and two to sort the M&Ms to remove the “W”s, “E”s and “3”s.

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This story is 42 words long.

Blonde Joke-04

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Blonde Joke
Chapter Four
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

What is a blonde with brunette died hair?
Artificial Intelligence.

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This story is 18 words long.

Blonde Joke - Revised

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Blonde Joke
Revised
by Jaye Michael

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This story is 6 words long.

Project Phoenix Part 1

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Project Phoenix Part 1

By Meg

Kevin Barnett, a renowned investigative reporter, has been pursuing conspiracies since the beginning of his career. One evening he accidentally stumbles upon one so big, he needs to enlist the help of an FBI agent, Hannah Fox, to attempt to crack it. Together they set off to investigate a secret installation, one of many being built all over the country. What they find inside will change Kevin's life. Just not in the way he expected.


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This story is 80 words long.

Elan Owen 2: Watch Out Here I Come - Chapter 1

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If the first week was wild, the second one is killer.

elan_title.jpg

Chapter One: Iguana Hold Your Hand


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This story is 17 words long.

Netherworlds - Chapter 10

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We walked through an area that wouldn’t have looked out of place at the Berlin Wall during WWII, through another area that had HOLOGRAPHIC LANDMINES (I was so freaked out when I saw that explosion hit Mike) before passing through another place with HOLOGRAPHIC MISSILES. They were really having a field day with the holograms, as the holographic guards with holographic AK-47s shooting holographic bullets at holographic escapees showed. It… just… I mean, when did they even develop this kind of thing? It was so bloody over the top that I wouldn’t be surprised if they released ARMOURED TYRANNOSAURUSES with LASER CANNONS.

Netherworlds

Chapter 10

By Taveena


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This story is 109 words long.

The Spot

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The Spot
By Ricky
In the advertising business, electronic wizardry is commonplace. This time around, Virtual Reality becomes reality.


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This story is 19 words long.

Elan Owen 2: Watch Out Here I Come - Chapter 0

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There comes a time in every story when it must begin... so, in the immortal words of Rhino the Hamster "LET IT BEGIN!"

elan_title.jpg

Chapter Zero: Enter the Duction


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This story is 28 words long.

The Case of the Poisoned Lord

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HOLMES.jpg

The Case of the Poisoned Lord

As Chronicled By
John Watson, M.D.

 


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This story is 13 words long.

Netherworlds - Chapter 9

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The place was surrounded with security cameras, barbed wire, there were a couple of armed guards, and it looked more like a prison than a school.
Stupid goddamn foreshadowing. I wish I hadn’t been right.

Netherworlds

Chapter 9

By Taveena


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This story is 40 words long.

To Shape One's Life - 4

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TO SHAPE ONE'S LIFE
Part 4 of 4
Chapter Nine: Cavalry's Coming.

by Jeffrey M. Mahr

Heroing is one of the shortest lived professions there is.

-- Will Rogers


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To Shape One's Life - 3

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TO SHAPE ONE'S LIFE
Part 3 of 4
Chapter Six: Deities to Go

by Jeffrey M. Mahr

It seems that I have spent my entire time
trying to make life more rational
and that it was all wasted effort.

-- A. J. Ayer


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This story is 41 words long.

To Shape One's Life - 2

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TO SHAPE ONE'S LIFE
Part 2 of 4

by Jeffrey M. Mahr

A tree cannot grow in the sky,
nor clouds be in the sea, nor fish live in the fields,
nor can blood be in sticks nor sap in rocks.

-- Titus Lucretius Carus<


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This story is 44 words long.

From Fire, From Ice

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From Fire, From Ice

fire-ice.jpg

By Jaye Michael

Be thou chaste as ice, pure as snow,
thou shalt not escape calumny.
– William Shakespeare
Hamlet, III, i, 142

 

Day One

    Desolate but breathtaking, that’s how Charlie Dawson always described the Alaskan tundra. After completing his residency in General Medicine, he had fled joyously back to the land of his youth. Others had twisted and fought like salmon at the end of a hook only to be slowly reeled back into the bosom of the state that had covered the huge loans incurred by eight or more years of study and training. For some reason, the State of Alaska expected them to practice in the “Land of the Midnight Sun” or immediately reimburse the state for its costs–with interest and stiff penalties.


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This story is 130 words long.

Netherworlds - Chapter 7

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This wasn’t actually the first time nanites had been a terrorist threat - some Islam terrorist group had been trying to release a variation of GDD.
All it did was convert people into corpses. By eating their brains. Nanozombies. Urgh…

They wiped out the threat with massive a massive EMP - electro-magnetic pulse. Huge success. Nanobots all wiped out. No deaths. Pretty much a first for the US. *giggle*

After GDD, they tried the EMP solution.

It… didn’t work.

Netherworlds

Chapter 7

By Taveena


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This story is 85 words long.

The Book

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As the awesome Klontarfian Empire prepares to conquer Earth, their terrifyingly new techo-weapon slips into the hands of a six year old girl who simply wants to turn her brothers into fairy tale heroines ...

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Netherworlds Chapter 3

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And it started again. Nikolosandwhichev looked on in alarm as I spasm’d about. Sarah jumped up, looking alarmed. Alarm, I thought. That’s a word. Like Clock. And Peanut. Peanut clock. Peanut butter jelly time.

My brain had gone kinda insane trying to deal with the pain. While contemplating on whether Hitler’s moustache was actually the barcode for a brand of chinese razor, my bones ground against each other. I was insanely hungry too - it felt like my stomach was boiling. A couple of bits of stomach acid went up my throat. My balls felt like they’d been kicked in. My penis felt like it was being used for a slingshot. And my chest just plain felt weird. The spasm kept going, even as Nikefootwearmanchev went and got another… nurse… or doctor…

Netherworlds

Chapter 3

By Taveena


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This story is 140 words long.

The BIGMAMA Project

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After a long barrage of interviews and tests, a very special employee is about to be invited to join The Mystery Team, and will soon discover first hand the details of the project they've been keeping so secret.

The BIGMAMA Project
Copyright 2009 by Heather Rose Brown
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


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This story is 57 words long.

Heavenly Joint

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Heavenly Joint

“Come on Lucifer, your falling behind. We have to finish creating these souls. It’s almost time for them to be born.”

“I’m hurrying as fast as I can Mike. The soul O’matic is just not as fast as it used to be. It’s been acting up lately so I put in a call to Heavenly Maintenance.”

“Give me a break, Lucifer. You’d get more work done if you didn't take a break every 5 minutes.”


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This story is 81 words long.

Luck Be A Lady -7-

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Luck be a Lady

by: Catherine Linda Michel

Part 7


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This story is 9 words long.

You Must Give In Order To Receive - a Doctor Who FanFic (Chp 8)

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You Must Give In Order To Receive

Chapter 8 (The Final Chapter)
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

By Maggie the Kitten

Art by Heather Rose Brown (thanks cuz!)

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This story is 27 words long.

You Must Give In Order To Receive - a Doctor Who FanFic (Chp 7)

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You Must Give in Order to Receive
By Maggiethekitten

by Tahiti

Chapter 7
Beyond What Eyes Can See


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This story is 17 words long.

You Must Give In Order To Receive - a Doctor Who FanFic (Chp 6)

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You Must Give In Order To Receive
By Maggie The Kitten

by Haiti

Chapter 6
Rescue and Regeneration


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This story is 17 words long.

You Must Give In Order To Receive - a Doctor Who FanFic (Chp 5)

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You Must Give In Order To Receive
By Maggiethekitten

by Haiti

Chapter 5
Resistance Is Futile


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You Must Give In Order To Receive - a Doctor Who FanFic (Chp 4)

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By Maggiethekitten

by Haiti

Chapter 4
Muffins and Memories


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You Must Give In Order To Receive - a Doctor Who FanFic (Chp 3)

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By Maggiethekitten

by Tahiti

Chapter 3
A Tale of Two Hearts


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You Must Give in Order to Receive

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A Dr. Who Fan-fiction

by maggie the kitten


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You Must Give In Order To Receive - a Doctor Who FanFic (Chp 2)

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By Maggiethekitten

by Tahiti

Chapter Two
Is Seeing Believing?

The Doctor and Rose are enroute to Jackie's for Christmas Eve dinner when they encounter a woman on London Bridge who changes their lives forever.


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This story is 41 words long.

You Must Give In Order To Receive - a Dr Who Fanfic (Chp 1)

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By Maggie the Kitten

photo by Tahiti

Enroute to Christmas Eve dinner at Jackie's house, Rose and the Doctor encounter a woman on London Bridge who changes their lives forever.


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Life's Little Shunts

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This story was written nearly two years ago for the First Story Contest on Bob’s Stardust site and has had a few small changes made to it.


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Becoming Antonia Part 26.

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Warning, the following chapter contains very technical writing. You have now been warned, and I don't want any comments or PM's about that fact. ENJOY the chapter for what it is. A STORY!

Becoming Antonia Part 26.

Written by Toni Trepasso
Edited by Holly Logan, with my many thanks to her.

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