St. Valentine's Day is supposed to be one of the most romantic holidays in the year. Its a day set aside to celebrate love in all its forms. It's also one of the most depressing days of the year. Before I became Jamie, St. Valentine's Day was just another day. Another day in the three hundred sixty five days that make up a year. But when I became Jamie, the day took on a whole new meaning for me.

A few days before Valentine's Day, my boyfriend Benjamin Franklin Allen asked me out. He had somehow secured a table for two at Coleman's Steakhouse, the premier steakhouse of our small village of Benton and one of the finest restaurants in town. And so began another adventure in the ongoing adventure that was daily life.

The reflection that greeted me in the mirror of my bedroom vanity was one of a budding young woman. One with shoulder length blonde hair and baby blue eyes. One who had applied the right amount of make-up and seemed to have at last mastered that most basic of skills. A young woman sporting a new pair of fake diamond stud earrings in her years and one who was dressed to impress in a simple black cocktail dress. A woman who was posed to bust open and spread her wings.

That reflection of course belonged to me. Jamie Sarah Potter. Who had just been invited out for the first time on St. Valentine's Day. A young woman posed to become a young lady. That's what I considered myself, now if only I could believe that.

“Wow.” A voice called from my bedroom door. “Looking good little sister.” The voice belonged to my big sister Lily Elizabeth Potter who was a good year older than me and was both my mentor and my teacher. “I almost had to do a double take when I passed by. I mean I know you can clean up when you want too. But this is taking it to another level all together.” She said, stepping into my room.

“I mean, the way you look now, it's hard to believe you were ever a guy in the first place. We just need to get your room fixed up and you'll be set.” Lily said as she eased her bottom down upon my bed. “So, how you feeling?”

“I'm a little nervous.” I said as I shifted my bottom around in my chair and turned toward Lily. “I mean, yes we've been dating for a while now, and we've gone on plenty of dates. But those were.. those dates were with Madeline and Matthew. Group dates you know, and we do some fun stuff, like going on nature hikes, going swimming at the watering hole, going fishing, going ghost hunting, and camping.” I  said as I tried to explain myself. 

“I get it. This is your first real big date.” Lily said, smiling a little. “This is the first time you two are alone. It's a big step in the right direction if you ask me. I mean you two have been together for like a year or so now. I believe you two started dating right after homecoming. Anyway, I'm happy for you.” Lily said, reaching over and picking up one of the many stuffed animals that had come to call my bed home. She pulled the stuffed animal close to her chest and heaved a sigh.

“My little sister's growing up so fast.” She said, ``Kind of makes me feel old.” 

“Right.” I said, rolling my eyes as I turned around and once more I started to touch up my make-up. I wanted to make sure everything was perfect. “You know, you kind of helped me.” I paused to collect my thoughts. “You making me volunteer for that little stunt at homecoming really helped me finally flip a mental switch you know.” 

Lily pulled the stuffed animal, a stuffed rabbit a little closer to her body and peered toward me. She tilted her head to the side.   I could tell the gears inside her head were starting to turn a little. I gotta give Lily credit though. Since coming out as her little sister, she has really accepted me. Instead of pushing me away, she embraced me. And it was not just Lily, it was my whole family. My whole family seemed to just accept me for who I was. And so as I peered toward Lily, trying to figure out the meaning of my words I started to pray a silent prayer of thanksgiving.  Many people in my shoes had it far worse than me.

“I mean think about it. If you've never asked me to volunteer to play the hostage as part of our school's weird tradition. Then I would have never had to dress up as your little sister. And me dressing up as your little sister and putting on that little act made things kind of slide into place with me.”

“Jamie.” Lily said as she gently set the stuffed rabbit down. After a moment's pause she decided to place it back where I had it, right with the other stuffed animals I've started to collect. I think I  had a good five or six at this point? Like half my bed was taken up with them. “Do me a favor, stop thinking about the past all the time. Live for the future okay? Stop trying to all Aristotle on yourself.” She said as she lifted her bottom up from the bed. 

I blinked.

“Enjoy tonight okay? You look amazing and I'm sure you're going to turn a few heads. Just try not to stop overthinking things and go with the flow.” Lily then turned around and sighed. “Jesus, I feel like sometimes I'm your mother. Mom should be the one giving you this little talk, not me.” She said, flipping her hair to the side.

“Where is mom? I've not seen her all afternoon..” I asked. Hoping to well change the subject.

“Dad's taking mom out on a date. I think dad got tickets to some magic show in Vicksburg. Dad also rented a hotel room.. so I know they're planning to spend at least a night, maybe two. That means you and I gotta watch the house.. and maybe the shop, I don't know about the shop. Dad said something about Kayla watching the shop for them. You know Kayla's first job was working with grandfather and grandmother down at the shop.” Lily said as she shook her head.

“It's not like I had a date or anything.” Lily said.

“Oh quite you're lying.” I said, smirking. “I know you have a date.” I leaned over and poked Lily in the side. “In fact, I know you have a cute boy hiding out in the bushes, your just waiting for me to leave, so you can smuggle him into the house and enjoy a little bit of private play time. Am I right?” I said in a teasing tone of voice. 

Lily blinked.

“Jamie.” She started. “I don't ask questions about what you and your boyfriend do when you two are a long. So don't ask questions about what I do with the various boys I date.” Lily turned away and pouted. “I mean, with so many cute guys to choose from. A  girl can't just settle on one. I'm not like you Jamie, I need a little bit of variety in my life.” She said pouting as she turned away.

“...” I was at a loss for words.

“And besides, all the boys I date know that little trait about that. And most of them are just flattered to dating a cheerleader and are okay with being just one dish on a buffet. And just like going to a buffet you sample a dish and you move on to the next dish. And like a buffet some dishes are just going to be your all time favorite, others are going to so-so, others are going to bland as hell. And others are going to give you food poisoning.”

I was still at a loss for words. While I welcome any and all chances I get to sit down and talk with my older sister. There were some conversations I kind of wish we could steer away from. And this was one conversation that I really wanted to steer away from. Like I wanted to throw my hands into the air and shout really loud and hope that Lily would get the message. That message being that I did not want to hear about her personal lust demons.

“But that Karate guy I'm dating now is going to be a keeper. I mean I swear he can bend like a rubber band and hit all the right spots. And his stamina is out of this world. Me being a cheerleader and him being a black-belt it's like a match made in heaven. I swear I'm going to keep him around. And I really want him to put a ring on my fingers.” Lily said with a sigh. “And yes, he's coming over tonight too. And if you walk by my bedroom and you see a sock on the door, don't enter unless you want to your bottom popped.”

I felt a shiver run down my spine. 

“Oh..” was all I could say.

“So yes, my plans for the evening.” Lily said, blushing a little. “See, I have a social life too, you know.” 

I was about to put my foot in my mouth when my phone started to buzz. A message popped up on the screen showing that I had a new text from Ben. Whom I'd entered as “Boyfriend” in contacts. The text informed me that he was leaving his house now and he'll be at my house in about ten too twenty minutes. Lily must have seen the smile that had formed upon my lips as I read the text. 

“I assume that lover boy just sent you a text message?” Lily inquired.

“Yep!” I said, smiling a big old smile. “He's on his way now. He said he'll be here in about ten too twenty minutes.” I said standing up from my bedroom vanity chair. Once I was standing up I decided to leave my room all together and I motioned Lily to follow me out. Which she did, of course.

“Cool. So got everything together?” Lily asked as we started down the stairs together.

“Yep! I just cleaned out and restocked my purse too!” I chimed.

“So your phone's fully charged? You have some breath mints? A little make-up kit for those touch ups? Pepper Spray? Spare cash? Inhaler?” Lily asked as she held out a finger as she named off each item. 

“Yep! And you forgot house keys!” I said with a bit of cheek, that earned me a quick swat to the bottom that was followed by a quick hug.

“Well.” Lily said, smiling sweetly. “Seems like you have everything under control. So go ahead, have a good time and make good choices, and remember the doors are locked. So just let yourself in.” And then after a moment she added. “Also remember if you see a sock hanging on my bedroom door, just keep walking okay?”

“Gotta.” I said, nodding my head. And with that I picked up my purse and headed out the door. Ben was already waiting for me at the end of the driveway. He was looking as handsome as ever in his dust colored slacks, white button down shirt, and blue sports coat. His hair slicked back and parted down the middle. He gave me a smile that sent me over the moon as he opened the door for me and I slipped right on end. Once I was inside he closed the door and a moment later he was slipping into the drivers side. I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

He smiled at the kiss, threw the car into drive and then I knew our date was on.  As he pulled away from the curb, I wondered for a moment what magic moments we would share tonight? Would tonight be pure bliss? Would this be the night that he and I do it again? Would this be the night that seals the deal, the night that finally makes up my mind that I want to spend the rest of my days with him? Or would something go wrong tonight? So many questions, so many possibilities and so many questions. And the only way to find the answer to those questions was to live tonight one moment at a time.