I was guided into the bathroom of the gym and scrubbed clean. I had every inch of me scrubbed and scrubbed, I had my hair washed and rewashed. It took around two good, hot showers to clean every trace of slop from my hair, skin and personal area. The warm water felt so good too. My whole world became a vision of colors, as the smells from the shampoo, body wash and lotions filled the air. Once I was “Clean” I was ordered to dry off with a warm towel. Once I was dry, they ordered me to lotion up, something about making my skin shimmer. It was all very confusing. I never knew girls went through so much effort getting ready for a big date.

I kept my mouth shut, complaining would only make things worst. For once my hair was clean, one of the girls started to brush it out with a brush. Once it was brushed out. I was fitted for a new pair of panties and training bra. Once those were on. I was ushered toward a chair, quickly I was forced to take a seat.

“Okay, Jamie,” Lily said taking a deep breath as she walked into the room. All the cheerleaders paused what they were doing and turned and gave Lily their full attention. “I handled that little problem. Coach agrees with me, Linda was way out of line with her little comment. Joan has already uploaded to her cloud. She holding it as leverage. The headmaster is down sick,” She paused to look me up and down.

I felt my cheeks flush with color as I watched her eyes travel down to the tips of my feet to my face. She then allowed them to rest on my chest. Blushing even deeper I wrapped my arms around me. Finally, after two very uncomfortable minutes, she switched her gaze away from me.

“Looking cute already. Okay, Jamie.” She clapped her hands and peered toward me. “Go out there and enjoy tonight okay? Dance, relax, flirt and do all the things. Have the time of your life okay?” She said winking at me. “And remember, at the stroke of midnight that when the party comes to an end.”

I nodded my head. Lily smiled and reached over and graphed a tube of lipstick. She removed the cap and leaned forward and smiled at me.

“Okay bring your lips together and pucker up.” She commanded as she held the lipstick out.

I closed my eyes and nodded my head as I puckered my lips up.

“Its tradition, the big sister always has the privilege of helping the little sister with her make-up for her first big dance. Normally mom would the one to do it. But since I dragged you into this mess. I’m going to be the one to fix your make-up and do your hair.”

And she kept her word. She did my make-up and curled my hair and helped me into the dress. She also helped me into the three-inch heels. Wearing heels came as a shock to me as well.. There something I never expect to wear. The dress sure, the shoes, not too sure.

“A total transformation,” Joan said smiling. “She has gone from creature from plant X to Bella of the ball.” She said looking me up and down. “Her nails could use a touch-up, but they're fine. Just the right amount of make-up, nothing too heavy, a light dusting. Considering her age, height, and stuff it fits.”

“I know, since she kind of new to make-up and stuff. I figured its best if I go light. She’ll tell me, if and when she ready to move onto something else.” Lily said putting back the beauty supplies. “We’ll princess, its almost time. Go take a breather while the rest of us finish up. Then we’ll go to the party.” She said winking again.

“Okay,” I said slowly getting up from the chair. I offered Lily a little smile and then moved toward the far side of the room. The others where all getting ready, each one was helping the other. Its one thing I noticed about girls, they're always there to help each other. One would curl somebody hair while another would do there make-up and another there nails. And then the one getting her hair done would do somebody else hair while somebody worked on her nails. Each one depends on the other.

In a way, there trust and need in each other reminded me of a phalanx. Each man was depending on the man beside him to keep his shield raised in battle. Likewise, these girls were depending on each other to always have their backs. These cheerleaders had taken Jamie under there wing, Jamie was totally different than James. James was shy and frail, Jamie was bold and strong. James would have never stood up to that man, Jamie did so without thinking.

I shook my head, a week or so ago my world was clear, everything was black and white, I knew where I stood and I had, for the most part, accepted that role. The role of being an outcast and floater. But that was a week ago, like just seven days, but it felt like it had been years and years ago. Slowly I placed my hand upon the window pane of the window I’d been standing by. The more I thought on this, the more I felt my eyes start to mist till a voice chimed in.

“Something on your mind?” A voice from behind me called out.

“Just thinking,” I responded.

“Don’t think too hard now, you're going to get wrinkles if you do.” The voice called out again. It was Joan, I could tell by her southern accent. Joan, I don’t think I’ve told you guys before has a very thick and deep accent. See there two kinds of southern accents there the “Low” tone. A prime example would be the old prime time television series “The Beverly hillbillies” the other was a “High” southern accent. Often heard from the lectern of your local Episcopal Church.

I nodded my head and resumed my thinking.

“A penny for your thoughts,” Joan said walking over and resting her arm on the edge of the window. “Because something is telling me something.”

“I’m lost Joan.,” I said in an honest tone of voice. “I feel, I feel like I’m standing at a fork in the road. And it's foggy so I really can’t see what lays beyond the fork, and to make matters worst. Standing before me is a hourglass. And the sand in the hourglass is almost gone. And I gotta make a choice, either left or right you know.”

Joan nodded her head.

“Gotta make that choice, either you going to keep living as Jamie. Cause I think Jamie has gone from being a cute little nickname we slapped on to you, I think has become her own person.” Joan said in a matter of fact tone of voice. “Going a step further, I think she been hanging around since you first drew your breath.”

I blinked and blinked again as I peered at her.

“Do yourself a favor tonight. Forget you’re a boy, think yourself as one of the girls. Dance with the boys, let them hold you tight. And at the stroke of midnight, go home and reflect. But before you go to bed, write down everything that happens to you. But write, as a girl would write. Explore your feeling, recount everything that happens, but not only recount but explore how you felt, what caused you to feel excitement or what filled you with dread.” Joan said smiling softly.

I nodded my head, soaking up her words like a sponge.

“Trust me.” She said grinning as she turned around and started to walk away. “When you take the next step, it's going to help. And talk to your mom and dad too. I gotta tell you, most of us are about to graduate in a year or so. You got around three and a half more years in this place. If you going to be Jamie, you need to get those wheels turning. As you said, the sand in that hourglass is running out.”

And with that Joan left me.
Taking a deep breath, I peered out the window once more. The reflection that greeted me was not of that shy little boy, but a girl who was on the cusp of womanhood. Somebody who wanted more to endure day after day, somebody who wanted to thrive and shake the world up. I owed it.. I owed it to that person to make the most of each day. And somewhere in my mind, a wall came crashing down and two sides, the Ying and the Yang finally fussed together to form one whole circle.

And another episode comes to an end.