Daisy's Red Badge of Courage
A Prequel to “Daisy and the Phantom Nurse”

Act One: The Impossible Dream

It is not easy being gender fluid at Benton Academy. Many of the students and staff at the school have decided to accept the small population of Transgender girls that attend school. I think most understand that in a year or two all three of them would graduate and be attending other schools. In short they would quickly become somebody else's headache soon enough. But for me, who falls into a middle ground, a kind of gray zone if you wish, the staff are at a loss on how to handle me.

It is a well known fact that I'm going steady with one of the transgender girls that goes to school here. Her name is Cerridwen Circe Whitethorn. I will not say we were in love, love is such an abstract word. But I cared for her and I knew she cared for me, we were attracted to each other. But most of all, we trusted each other.

That itself had painted a big target on my back. Now the culture of Benton Academy is archaic. The mythos of the “Lost Cause” are repeated over and over. A small percent of the school prides itself on having been founded as an Segregation Academy; those were private schools that were founded in the Southern United States some fifty years ago by white parents to avoid having their children attend the newly desegregated Benton High School. And though they do not like to broadcast it, around ten percent of this school would love for it to return to its segregation roots. They firmly believe that by opening the school to all races, they have less the academic value of a private education.

I attend this school, not by choice but because my uncle wanted to give me the best education possible. For the first part of my school career I attended St. Katherine's Episcopal Academy, a private school located on the high bluffs of Vicksburg. The school yard afforded you a beautiful vista of the Mississippi River. I sometimes missed it, I missed the view of the river and the sense of peace looking at it brought.

But I had to push those peaceful thoughts out of my mind as I made my way down the hallway. My heavy footsteps echoed down the empty hallway. Like I said before, the culture of this school is almost archaic. One prime example was a man was expected to fight if he was called out. And I had been called out, by one of the biggest bigots in the school. A man that weighed close to three hundred pounds, was big as a bull and tall as a tree. He had arms the size of sawlogs with fingers the size of hot dogs and a neck the size of a Christmas ham.

This beast of a man had called me out because I was dating Cerridwen, and the culture of chivalry that flourished at Benton Academy demanded that I meet him after school in the parking lot. If I had not challenged him and stood up for my honor and by Cerridwen's honor I would in short be giving him the right to call me out at random and maybe even go after Cerridwen. I knew this, because I had been raised in the tradition of the old South.

And I hated it. But there was little I could do as I marched alone toward that parking lot. I could hear from down the hallway noise being made. Word of the pending fight had spread all around school and the supports of the beast of the man had come out to support him. No doubt he would be surrounded by a retinue of faithful retainers.

I paused and looked over my shoulder. I still could have retreated, I could have turned around and walked back down that hallway and slipped out of the backdoor. And then I could have vanished in the woods that surrounded the school. But that would have been the coward's way out. It would be an insult to not my honor but to Cerridwen honor.

And so I had no other choice. Gathering my courage I pushed down the hallway.

“Daisy!” Cried a voice behind me.

I stopped, turned around and saw Cerridwen rushing toward me. Following closely behind her was Jamie Sarah Potter the so called 'Princess' of the school. Following behind her was another girl I did not know but I think her name was Katherine. Cerridwen seemed on the verge of tears as she looked me in the eyes and then launched herself at me, a moment later she was wrapping her thin arms around me and she was headbutting my chest.

“Don't you Dare!” She said as she held me. “Don't you dare go out! Don't even think about it! For once in your life use your head!” She bellowed. “He's going to murder you! He's going to murder you and then I gotta go to your funeral! And then I'm going to wear black! I gotta wear black before I wear white!” She shouted. Her shrill voice echoed off the row of metal lockers.

“You always wear black though. You're a Goth and you shop at Hot Topic for all your casual clothes. The dress you wear to Sunday Mass was brought from Hot-Topic. Your Communion Gown was also brought from Hot-Topic.. Your perfume comes from Hot-Topic too..” I said blinking.

“That is not what she means..” Jamie said as she came up to us. “She means something else..”

“I know what she means! But it's hard to picture her in a traditional wedding gown!” I said blushing a little as I peered toward Jamie. Her blue eyes seemed to sparkle with rage and I swear I saw the fires of hell burning in them. “Listen! I told the staff, they said 'You deal with it, you're a man' and I told you guys, the so-called prefects of this mock British school about it, they said without 'solid proof' their hands were tied. I told the Headmistress and she said 'If the fight takes place beyond school grounds, and after school hours. Then really it is not an issue with the school. And I don't plan on making it an issue with the school. It would become a police issue then.' So there.”

“Have you talked to your uncle?” Cerridwen said. “Talk to him! Talk to him for me Daisy! Please! I'm begging you. You've already been kicked out of one school for fighting. You're on thin ice here already. Just one more misstep and boom, they will kick you out too!” Cerridwen pleaded.

“She's right.. and have you given any thought of where your family would send you then?” Jamie said. As she peered at me.

“I already know.” I said, taking a deep breath. “Chamberlain-Hunt Military Academy. That is the only other school that would accept me. And yes mom and dad fought hard to keep me enrolled in St. Katherine's Episcopal Academy, they told the headmaster I was getting bullied and that he needed to step up his game. But you know, putting one of your bullies in the A & E ward of Mercy Hospital and sending the other to Mississippi Medical was kind of overkill.” I said, sighing.

There was a brief moment of silence after that little remark. The silence was broken by Cerridwen who in a hushed tone of voice asked me one simple question. It was a simple question but one that for a moment gave me pause. And made myself question the wisdom of what I was about to do.

“Have you ever considered what those boys of Chamberlain-Hunt Military Academy will do to Daisy Isabella Bell? Your alter ego? The girl that sometimes comes out? Have you thought about her?” She asked in a hushed tone of voice that was barely above a whisper.
“I have and I'm sure they will rape her each morning in the showers before class starts, and at night the senior cadets will pass her around from one bed to the other before turning her bottom and mouth over to the junior cadets.” I said with a sigh.

Both Jamie and Cerridwen visibly shuttered as I said that.

“And is that the kind of life you want her to live? How would she respond to living that kind of life? To be used as nothing more than an fuck doll for a collection of one hundred and twenty eight cadets?” Whispered Cerridwen she was on the verge of breaking down. I could see mist gathering at the corner of her eyes. Her voice was still barely above a whisper.

I took a deep breath and made a cutting motion with my hand across my wrist. It was all I needed to say. Cerridwen then shuttered and blinked her eyes and slowly she started to wipe away the tears that were starting to fall down her cheeks.

“And what will happen to Daisy at that camp?” Jamie said as she peered toward. “Or Cadet Private James Donald Bell.” She said getting too up close and personal for my taste. I was tempted to push her back but I had to remind myself she was a Potter, and the Potter's were known for their tempers. Plus she was a girl, and I was raised by a guy never, ever raises his hand to a woman, transgender or not.

“Short rations, forced marches, judicial flogging, forced to stand at attention for long periods of time. Oh and a once a week haircut. And once he snaps from the stress of the bullshit he'll pick up a shovel and remove the nearest bully head’s he  can get his hands on. And that would lead to a moonlight burial in the swamps that surround that school.” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

“James Donald Bell!” Jamie yelled. “You are a fool!” And with that Jamie raised her hand and it seemed she was ready to strike me, now Cerridwen had slapped me once, and I think I kind of needed that at that moment. But getting slapped by Jamie, I was not in the mood for that. So I quickly raised my hand and took hold of her hand.

“Jamie Sarah Potter, I strongly suggest you step back and check yourself.” I said in an icy cold tone of voice. “Not all of us have the privileges you have.” I added.

“Check my privileges? Since when did being transgender become a privilege?” She said in a haughty tone of voice that made my blood boil like water in an iron kettle that had been placed on an open flame.

“I was not talking about you being transgender. I was talking about being surrounded by friends that love you, that support you, that cherish you. That will defend you. That will hold you. Not all of us are blessed to have such friends.” I paused and then turned toward the double metal doors that would lead into the parking lot.

“Some of us are loners. Some of us have neither kip or kin to call upon. Some of us are just nameless drifters.” I said, sighing as I released her arm. Jamie snatched her arm away from me and just peered at me with eyes that seemed cold as ice. It was the most anime thing I'd ever seen.
“JAMES DONALD BELL. YOU ARE PRIME EXAMPLE OF MALE STUPIDITY! YOU THINK EVERYTHING CAN SETTLED WITH YOUR FIST. YOUR WRONG!” Jamie bellowed at the top of her lungs. Her loud voice echoed down the hallway. “One day I'm going to prove to you that there are people in this world who care about you! One day I'm going to prove to you that you are loved!”

“Daisy..” Cerridwen said, taking a deep breath. “You were the only person who ever stood up for me.. you are my prince..” She said sniffing. “I love you! Jamie loves you! Your family to her! Madeline loves you! Your mom and dad are her aunt and uncle! Your mom and dad are Jamie's Godmother and Godfather! You don't have to fight along! You don't have to fight at all! Just go! Turn around now! And walkway from this fight and none of us would think any less of you!”

I paused and turned around and balled my fist up.

“MY MOM AND DAD EVEN CONSIDER YOU A SECOND SON! A FUTURE SON-IN LAW!” Cerridwen's voice had now risen, higher than her normal squeaky tone of voice. “Are you really going to throw it all this way because of some silly question of honor! Because some meathead pushed you down in the locker room and called you a 'sissy' and a 'fag' because your dating me?” Cerridwen said as she shook her head from left to right tears fell like raindrops from her cheeks.

“He called you 'A fucking piece of shit'. And those are fighting words.” I said, taking a deep breath as I turned away from her. I could not stand the sight of Cerridwen crying.

“We get called worse things  all the time behind our backs.” Jamie said. Her voice seemed to have softened a little. “We're used to it. Comes with us being us.” She added. I could feel the pain in her voice.

“Well.. I'm not going to stand for it.” I said as I started to walk away. As I walked, a song that was my father's favorite song, a song by Frank Sinatra started to play in my head. The song was “The Impossible Dream'. And I knew what I must do. If I was to be murdered, beaten to a bloody pup in a few minutes, I must do so that honor, and justice may live. If I went down fighting for Jamie, Cerridwen, Madeline and all the kids that were bullied here. Then when I was laid to rest in St. Katherine's Graveyard. My soul would at least be at rest.

And so steeling myself I pushed open the door that led to the parking lot and stepped into the bright light of that September afternoon.