I sat on the bed and picked up Teddy. At least he didn’t have a go at me and listened to me, even though I was far too old for him and shouldn’t talk to him really.
by
Susan Brown
I was very quiet as I changed into what Sheila called ‘sensible clothes.’
I was getting kind of upset…again and started sniffing. Water leaked from my eyes and then, as I picked up a blouse, put it on and tried to do up the buttons I had trouble as the flaming thing did up the wrong way., My arms dropped in defeat and I started crying in ernest. I was getting a right little cry baby lately and I didn’t know why.
I sat on the bed and picked up Teddy. At least he didn’t have a go at me and listened to me, even though I was far too old for him and shouldn’t talk to him really.
Sheila had left the room for something and as I was in full flow, she walked in stopped;
put her hand over her mouth and came over to me.
‘Stephanie, why are you crying?’
‘I never get anything right and I don’t want to wear these stupid clothes and your angry with me and…oh, I don’t know!’
She gave me a tissue and I wiped my eyes and blew my nose rather loudly.
‘I’m sorry, Steph. I wasn’t having a go at you, though come to think of it, it may have sounded like it. I’m a bit upset, that’s all. I wouldn't hurt you for the world. You haven’t seen the papers have you?’
‘No, I only read the Beano and there’s not much news in that.’
‘Well there was a house fire late last night. Two adults and five kids of different ages lived there. They were upstairs when it happened and they were trapped. Four of the children were dropped from a bedroom window and were caught in blankets. Then there was a gas explosion and the parents and one of the children didn’t make it.’
‘You mean?’
‘Yes, they died.’
‘That’s terrible.’
‘I know; everyone’s upset and worried for the poor things. Also, the cold hard fact is that the council now have four more kids to accommodate and they don’t know where they are going to put them. They don’t want to split the children up…they have gone through enough without having the added upset of putting them in different homes. Anyway, that’s the council’s problem. The reason why I said the things that I did was that it is now more important than ever that we get things right for you. I know that you have gone through the same experience as those kids, but although you have to pretend to be a girl for a while, you are fairly happy about staying here, aren’t you?’
‘Yes I’ve made some friends here and I would like to stay for a while. Anyway I’m a big gir…I mean boy now and I have to make the most of things.’
‘That’s good. I’m sure that it won’t be for too long. I know the council has asked for emergency funding due to the lack of care facilities and if everything works out, you will be settled somewhere soon.’
Strangely, I was a bit upset about hearing this news. I knew that it was strange, but apart from pretending to be a girl and though I hadn’t been here long, it was beginning to feel like home. The other children were getting like sisters to me and the adults like sort of parents. I belonged or I felt like I did anyway and it gave me a sense of comfort and security.
Mark seemed a long way away as I sat here, dressed as a girl and trying to behave like one. I was even starting to think of me as Mark being a different person…that was upsetting in itself as that was the only link I had left of my old life with my Mum and Dad.
Anyway I had no more time to think, as Sheila hurriedly helped me get changed. In no time I was dressed ‘appropriately’ in sensible blouse and skirt, knee socks and black shoes with a stubby heal. Bye,bye Mark, hello Steph.
I brushed my hair and then I was ready. Looking at the mirror, there were few if any signs that Mark was lurking in the background. I shrugged, if Mark was there, it would have been a bit awkward if I was going to try on clothes all day; I would have to accept the inevitable.
I shuddered a bit at the thought of shopping, but I didn’t have too much time to think.
We had a quick breakfast of sugar puffs, toast and a cup of tea and then we were on our way.
I put a cardie on as it was a bit cool outside and then we were rushing down to the end of the road as we had a number 36 to catch.
We just made it in time and I soon found myself sitting upstairs on the double decker bus, watching the world go by.
The bus conductor came up to us and whizzed his little machine around. Out spewed the paper tickets and he was off looking for more victims.
It was funny sitting there on the bus. I had been in such a rush that I wasn’t too aware of the clothes that I was wearing. I looked around but no one was taking any notice of me until I saw a small boy; about six I suppose looking at me strangely.
Had he realised somehow that I was a boy? He looked at his mum and then whispered something. She looked at me, smiled slightly then whispered back to the boy. I wished I that I could lip-read. The woman then looked out of the window as boy stared at me again then made his eyes cross and poked his tongue out at me!
This was a challenge so I did the same to him just as his mum looked back at me.
I went red all over and turned away.
‘Are you OK, Stephanie?’
‘Yes…er I’m OK, Sheila.’
Once again I looked outside. From my high vantage point, I could see into the backs of some gardens. I wondered if the people that lived here had as much happen to them as had happened to me. It was strange that. I thought about those poor children caught up in the fire and I hoped with all my heart that they would be found somewhere that they could live together.
Soon we arrived at the High Street, all hustle and bustle.
We went down the steep stairs of the bus and got off.
The place was full of people walking along the road going into and coming out of shops.
I held Sheila’s hand as we walked along. I was too big for that, but it felt comforting somehow, gripping tightly on her hand.
We came up to a shop, British Home Stores it said on the big sign outside.
It was strangely quiet in there compared to the business of the road outside.
It was a big shop with lots of clothes for different ages, girls and women, men and boys; all sectioned off from each other.
We made our way to the girls department and I was soon knee deep in clothes.
Sheila went sort of mad and I soon had half a dozen things to try on. We went over to the ladies changing room, and I was hustled inside. Luckily, the changing rooms were all curtained off and I was able to try things on without being seen. It was a bit embarrassing though as Sheila was helping me dress and undress. Eventually though after the third or fourth change, I lost my embarrassment.
I lost count of the things I tried on. We went into shop after shop. By the time we sat down at the Lyons Tea Shop I was exhausted. Who said that girls were the weaker sex?
I had a Fanta Orange and a sticky bun and Sheila had tea, crumpet and a cigarette.
After lighting up her ciggie and drawing the smoke deeply into her lungs, Sheila sighed and then looked at me.
‘Well how have you found your first shopping trip as a girl?’
‘I never thought that it would make me so tired.’
‘The things we girls have to do, eh?’
‘Erm, yes.’
‘Well you have enough things to be going on with, but we need several more if you are going to stay as Stephanie for a while.’
‘I thought you said that the council might get some money and then put me somewhere else.’
‘Yes, but knowing the government, it may be some time before they would cough up the cash, if at all. So we have to wait and see. Are you sure you want to continue with this?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well being a girl. There is always the chance of being found out and I wouldn’t want you hurt.’
I sucked the Fanta up my straw and thought for a second.
‘I want things to stay as they are as long as I don’t get caught but if I do, I won’t get into trouble will I?’
‘No, everyone else will, but not you. I think that we are all willing to take that chance if it will make you happy. If you change your mind, we’ll transfer you out to an area that can take you. Is that OK?’
‘Yes, I suppose so. It’s my fault really. I said I wanted to stay around here to be near my Mum and Dad.’
‘Look, do not blame yourself. It was the circumstances not you that caused this. We have a government who is more interested in the trident program and stuff like that than are willing to look after the poor and needy people of this country; they are the ones to blame. The council are not blameless either, but at least they care enough to try to help.’
Sheila rubbed her eyes and sighed.
‘What with all that, we have an inspection tonight.’
‘Will they want to speak to me.?’
Sheila laughed bitterly.
‘They won’t speak to any kid. They never do. They are more interested in what we spend our money on than actually talking to the people that are the primary reason for being there.’
I sighed with relief. The last thing that I wanted was some do-gooder talking to me and asking how I was feeling.
Sheila finished her cigarette and then looked at me.
‘Treat time.’
‘Pardon?’
‘I think that you need a girlie type treat.’
‘Erm, Cadbury's Creme Egg?’
‘No silly, anyone can have one of those. Although I do like the gooey stuff inside and I love putting my tongue in and…’
She coughed and came back to reality.
‘No, I think that your hair needs….erm…cutting.’
‘But I thought girls had their hair long and mine isn’t.’
‘Yes, dear but it lacks that shape that screams girl. Know what I mean?’
‘Erm…no.’
Sheila sighed and looked at me, shaking her head.
‘Holy Mary Quant, give me strength. This is going to be harder than I thought. I’ve made an appointment at the beauty parlour for you. Aren’t you pleased?’
‘Um, should I be?’
‘Of course.’
‘Will it hurt?’
‘Probably not, but hot rollers tight on your head can be a bit of a pig.’
‘Can’t I just have pigtails or something?’
She laughed evilly.
‘You want to be with it, happening and now, don’t you?’
‘Pardon?’
‘Don’t you want to be groovy?’
‘Sorry?’
‘Hare Krishna, heard of that?’
‘Is that a disease?’
‘Flower power?’
‘I have hay fever,’ I said helpfully.
‘I see that I need to give you a crash course in what is expected of you, little one. In the mean time, be prepared. It’s time for your first initiation.’
I somehow felt that this initiation would not be easy and it was with trepidation and anxiety that I followed Sheila out of the tearoom and out into the big ,wide, scary world.
To be continued...
Puuleaaase leave comments, ta very muchlie....
Comments
orphen11
wow cute teddy bear .verry good
mr charlles r purcell
verry good story i wood love to see a lot more of this all i can say is wow verry good thanks for shareing
Orphan-11
Nice to see that Mark/Stephanie wants to be near his/her parents. I wonder if he/she can get adopted by Katie's parents so that she can have a brother?
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
BROTHER???
Leigh Richards
Sorry for yelling but... By the time everyone gets done covering their own asses poor Mark will be a smear on the rug. So.... maybe a sister? Let's face it, the nice guy gets it in the rear AGAIN!
Very Miffed!
L
Leigh Richards
Interesting
I've only caught this in passing, I'm not much for child/preteen stories. It is cute though. But two things, marking this as a Sixties-era story might help, I was getting confused at the end until I figured this out. Perhaps I'd have realized that if I'd paid more attention earlier.
And what is this with a common changing area? Every store I've even been in, even in the U.K. has had seperate changing stalls for each customer. Yet this is the third or forth reference I've seen in a U.K. story to common changing areas.
Karen J.
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"
Janis Joplin
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Clearing things up
Hi Karen
If you read the first chapter, you will see that right at the top, it tells you that this story is set in 1969/70.
As for the changing area question, British Home Stores caters for all sexes for clothes,but it has separate ladies and gents changing areas and within each changing room, there are private curtained cubicles (thank goodness).
I don't know what it's like in the rest of the world, but we do not have changing areas which are open so that people can see others dress/undress.
Sue
I didn't pay attention
I've been around Western Europe and the U.S., and everywhere I've been has had something similiar to what you describe in the changing areas. Yet I keep seeing references to the character being surprised and pleased that there are curtains or doors to seperate changing stalls: "Luckily, the changing rooms were all curtained off and I was able to try things on without being seen.". Why would this be "lucky" unless the character had encountered open, common changing areas previously? As I said, this is not the first time I have seen this type of comment, and all the stories were set in the U.K.; so I'd about concluded this was the way it was in smaller towns.
As for Chapter 1, I did read it, sorta, but don't remember that information. When I saw the "Holy Mary Quant, give me strength" comment, I scrolled back up to the top to check the keywords to see if I'd missed something.
Karen J.
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"
Janis Joplin
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Common changing areas
Definitely did exist not that long ago.
I remember when I was a mere wisp of a tranny boldly taking a few things into a changing room and being horrified that there was no privacy. I refrained from trying on half the things I'd intended on trying. Everyone was minding their own business, but it was frightening.
Yes in the UK - probably in the '08s.
I'm sure I didn't dream it.
XX
AD
About that
Well, Stephanie nee Mark is a 11 year old boy, and as such, probably had most of his clothes bought by him mum. Perhaps he didn't go along with, often. So, he might not be up on what to expect to find. After all, he was being put in a group home; he'd never been in one of those before and that would explain his relief in finding separate cubicles for them.
Again, as for the changing rooms in stores, he might not have gone(often) with his mum when she bought his clothes.
How do you eat a cream egg?
Every now and then Stef lets slip a little thought that makes you wonder if she is more of a girl than she would admit to. In a previous episode she made a comment about preferring Sindy to Barbie. This time she says "Anyway I’m a big gir…I mean boy now".
I love the period references like an actual bus conductor with a ticket machine, Fanta orange, the Lyons Tea Shop and the brilliant line 'Holy Mary Quant, give me strength'.
Also, Sally's little moment day-dreaming about eating Cadbury's cream eggs made me laugh!
Well, MAYBE that explained how things got there...
... The "trip" wasn't tooo bad either. :-) I was kinda worried about the adult after the last chapter...
Though that terror trip to the beauty parlor (Salon)... The "other" girls will be jealous!
Thanks,
Annette
Nice Period Feeling
Lovely gentle story Sue, and it captures the angst and confusion of an orphan shoved willy-nilly into a bureaucratic stuff-up. I for one can believe that a council could precipitate a situation like this, and the meanness of the Welfare State would make things even worse.
Love it,
Joanne
Teddy, you'll have a doll for friend!
I am sure that Steph will soon get you a doll for a friend (or Sally does). That would be the ultimate girl experience!
It seems that there really is no escape. Govermental money? Well - in your next life time perhaps... And once Step gets into school as a girl everyone will start forgetting that she used to be a boy (Step included I suspect - Mark is already fading out a bit).
Nice chapter again!
Hugs and a gentle 'woof' for Teddy,
Sissy Baby Paula and Snowball
So Far, So Wonderful
Love the story...
Poor "Mark" she is more Steph than she thinks.
UHMMM.... Cadbury.....
Time for a shopping trip...
See how it affects me?
Teddi
What goes around, comes around...
We have a government who is more interested in the trident program and stuff like that than are willing to look after the poor and needy people of this country
Pretty much the same could be said of the current incumbents, 40 years later...
-oOo-
Meanwhile, "One more step along the world I go..." as Steph has to take another big step towards girlhood (and several more in the next episode, by the sounds of things), as courtesy of bureaucracy, Steph's likely to be there a while. Hmm...I wonder if Steph took the last available place or there's room for the house fire children. Things could get even more interesting if the new orphans on the block are mixed gender...
There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
What?
*** Things are going so fast I don't know what to think. Ms. Brown please allow me to slide on this chapter....Rebecca
flower power? more like girl power.
In my opinion, I feel Stephanie, is starting to feel more like a girl every time.
It's funny, that Mark doesn't really
Want to be a girl, whereas most of your characters would be in heaven.
Angharad