I stood there looking around me. In the distance I could here the shouting of children, girls I presumed as this was a girl’s home after all.

Suddenly, a tennis ball flew through the air and hit me on the side of the head.

‘Ow!’ I said.

Orphan
By
Susan Brown

---

 
Chapter 3
 

I looked up at the sign ‘Lavenham Girls Care Home’ and shuddered slightly.

The cool breeze was lifting up the hem of my dress a bit and what with trying to hold my Biggles book in one hand and my teddy in the other, I was having a hard time of it. I transferred Teddy to my other arm and manfully or should I say girlfully tried to hold my hem down as we walked up the steps.

I felt so strange; my hair was getting in my eyes and I didn’t have a free hand to move it out of the way.

Anyway, eventually we reached the swing doors and Mandy, who was carrying a suitcase, pushed the door open; it squeaked a bit and needed oiling.

In front of me was a hallway. The lino on the floor was dark green and had black scuff marks on it and the walls were a slightly lighter shade of the same colour. The place looked clean but a bit like a hospital. Mandy walked over to the side. There was a door marked office and she knocked and walked in, not before telling me to stay where I was.

I stood there looking around me. In the distance I could here the shouting of children, girls I presumed as this was a girl’s home after all.

Suddenly, a tennis ball flew through the air and hit me on the side of the head.

‘Ow!’ I said.

There was rushing of feet coming down some stairs that I hadn’t noticed, and a young girl about my age dashed over and skidded to a halt in front of me.

She was thin, pretty with a short black skirt and a white blouse on. She had long mousy brown hair and tons of freckles. She had a pleasant smile, was a bit sweaty and was breathing rather heavily.

‘Hello. Did I hit you? Sorry about that, Penny’s back swing is useless but I missed it anyway. Are you new?’

‘Erm…yes.’

‘What’s your name?’

‘M…Stephanie.’

‘Not sure who you are then?’

‘Pardon?’

‘You know Mmmmmm…Stephanie.’

I laughed at her attempts at copying the way I spoke.

‘Sorry, I’m a bit stupid at the moment.’

‘I know, it’s a bit strange at first coming to a prison like this. Nice teddy, by the way, not a patch on my doll, though…Do you know, they only feed us bread and water, send us to bed at eight and make sure we get up before dawn to scrub the place out and then, to cap it all, the whip…’

‘Tracy Anne Stewart, what are you saying to this poor girl?’

Both our heads snapped around as we saw an elderly lady, at least 40 walk up to us and put her hands on her hips.

‘Oh, erm, hello Matron, just saying how wonderful it is here.’

‘Scoot.’

‘Pardon me?’

‘Vamoose, go, leave, depart, push off…’

‘OK; see you later M…Stephanie.’

She gave a cheeky grin and rushed up the stairs and out of site.

Matron looked at me a slight smile playing on her lips.

‘Take no notice of what Tracy says, she likes winding people up. Now I take it that you are Stephanie then?’

‘Yes Miss.’

‘I’m Mrs, actually, Mrs Grant but you can call me Matron. Now, where is Mandy?’

‘She went in there,’ I said pointing at the door.

‘Right, lets get you sorted out, come with me.’

She held my hand and walked me over to the door.

As we went, I looked up and I could see a dozen faces staring at me through banisters from the floor above. Tracy was there and waving at me and on an impulse, I waved back.

Before I could think about that, I found myself in an office.

Mandy, cigarette in her mouth was talking animatedly to a woman sitting at a desk.

They both looked up as we entered.

‘Hello Matron.’ said Mandy.

‘Nice to see you again Mandy; would you like to come into my office?’

Matron was still holding my hand and it was quite nice and reassuring.

We walked into her office and Matron motioned Mandy and me to sit on a chair as she shut the door and sat behind a large desk. I hugged my teddy as I think he was a bit scared. I know, I’m a bit old for this but I don’t care as teddies have feelings too.

Mandy sat next to me and we both waited for what Matron was going to say.

She looked at some papers, coughed then frowned and then looked straight at me.

‘Stephanie, I believe that you should know all that is going to happen to you; it’s your life after all. Well Mandy, you only gave me the briefest of details on the phone. Tell me all about what has happened.’

I just sat there mute as Mandy told Matron what had occurred to me. I got quite upset when the accident to my parents was explained and then the fact that there was no place for me at the boys’ home. I felt a bit unwanted and very insecure.

‘Stephanie!’

I looked up and could see that Matron was looking at me with an enquiring look on her face.

‘Sorry, did you say something.’

‘Yes, dear; how do you feel about pretending to be a girl?’

‘I… I don’t know. It’s all strange to me. Lots of nasty things have happened and I just want everything to get better…I want my mum and dad back.’

I put my head in my hands and started sobbing.

I could feel some soft arms hugging me and comforting me. I just cried all the harder.

I was dimly aware of a door opening and then closing but I was too wrapped up in my grief to care.

Finally, after quite a while I looked up and through misty tears could see the matron looking at me with a concerned face.

‘Feeling any better?’

‘A bit - sorry.’

‘What for?’

‘Crying.’

‘We all need a good cry sometimes and you have been through a lot. Now blow you nose with this hanky and wipe your eyes. Look your teddy fell on the ground, here you are. Mandy has gone to get us all a cup of tea and she’ll be back in a minute.’

She left me cuddling teddy, feeling a bit stupid perhaps as I’m quite old now and shouldn’t need to have a cuddly toy and sat behind her desk again.

‘Are you OK to talk now?’

‘Yes,’ I sniffed.

‘Good. Well as you know it’s a bit unusual, what we are doing here, but it was felt by all concerned that you would feel better with children of you own age around you. Though we didn’t expect those children to be girls, but we have no choice and we have to do what we can. Now I did ask you about how you felt about pretending to be a girl. Do you feel up to telling me?’

I looked at her and then down at my dress. It did feel strange wearing these clothes but it was also a bit funny how quickly I had gotten used to it.

‘I don’t know how good I can pretend, but I’m willing to have a go.’

‘That’s all I ask. If you get too uncomfortable or you get found out, we will have to do something else even if it means moving you to another area…’

‘Please, I don’t want to go away!’

‘Why, dear?’

‘Cos I want to me near to my mum and dad.’

I could see her eyes get a bit wet.

‘We’ll see how you get on. Now… oh hello Mandy, thanks for getting the tea.’

As I drunk the hot sweet drink, Matron explained how thing were going to work.

‘As far as all the girls and staff here are concerned, you are a girl. The only other member of staff who knows about you and will help you to cope is Sally Mason; she has the day off but will see you tomorrow. In a minute, I will show you up to the dormitory .You are in the same one as that little monkey Tracy. She is a bit wild but has a heart of gold.’

‘What about changing?’

‘Changing?’

‘Well won’t the girls notice my boy bits when I change my clothes?’

‘That’s OK, this place used to be a hospital and your dorm is in one of the old wards. Every bed has a curtain that can be pulled around for privacy. We encourage this because the girls need their own personal space. Most of them pull the curtains around when they are changing. Also, we have some separate wash cubicles in the bathroom so there is no need to be shy there. Indeed, this is the reason why I agreed to you coming; both you and the other girls need not feel awkward about things. Are you happy with that?’

I nodded. Perhaps things wouldn’t be too bad after all. Deep down under all the unhappiness, I remembered when I smiled and laughed a lot. OK, I was sometimes bullied at school, but I was a bit of a joker and I could normally get the bullies laughing before they hit me. I remember at my last school, I was late for class and I rushed through the open door, not noticing the step. I fell in and went head over heals landing up in front of the teacher.

‘What’s all this?’ he said.

I answered the first thing that came into my mind.

‘Hello, sir, just dropped in for a bit.’

Everyone laughed and that was how things were for me until the accident, a joker, accepted and not bullied too often. Perhaps I could just deal with my situation like some sort of great leg pull?

In no time I was saying goodbye to Mandy. I gave her a hug and thanked her for looking after me.

‘No problem, Stephanie. I’ll probably be seeing you from time to time and when we can transfer you to somewhere better, I’ll let you know.’

With that, she left me to the tender mercies of the Lavenham Girls Care Home and all that lived there.

Before I knew it, I was being led upstairs by the matron. I could hear in the distance the sounds of laughing girls. As we drew closer to the noise, I started getting more and more worried as to whether I could pull this off.

At the top of the stairs, I could see at the end of the corridor; some girls were playing tennis or something, They all had racquets and the ball was flying here, there and everywhere. How lights and windows were not damaged, I couldn’t tell. All I could see was girls laughing, shouting, hitting tennis balls and generally having a good time.

Just then, there was a piercing whistle and everyone stood still, just like statues. A ball rolled toward me and stopped in front of where I was standing. You could here a pin drop…it was weird.

I looked at matron with her whistle still in her mouth and then as she took it out she said in a stern voice, ‘What is going on here?’

To be continued...

---

Please leave a comment... Ta very muchly

Orphan is very much in a free-form style and is quite spontaneous as I just write it and without much in the way of change, publish it. So if it appears a bit rough in places, sorry.