“I had seen them but thought they’d be gone by the time I changed clothes and made my way out there.”

Mom said, “Does Jalyn still take a fancy to you?” I had double-dated Jalyn once as a Junior and dated her a couple of times again in my Senior year. I had planned to take her to the prom but Matt Schneider invited her before I did.”

When I didn’t answer, mother asked again. “Jalyn probably noticed your manicured hands and wondered aloud if your toenails were painted or even suggested you were wearing panties?” I was unwilling to prove otherwise as the answers to both were yes…

Mom said, “She is a sprite that one. I wouldn’t be surprised if she called either one of you for a date…”

Now: I am driving to work and I get a call from Lexi as I’m thinking of Jalyn, Steve, and Steph. Lexi asks, “Have you been thinking about me as I have about you? I was wondering about meeting you at ISU for a weekend.”

I lied, “Sure, I’ve been thinking of you. I’m working at JD as Nicole and need to brush up on my golf game. A visit to ISU is not likely until late July.”

She asks, “Have you taken a break from your blocker, I want both parts of you to remain healthy.”

I am pulling into the parking lot, and I feel overly distracted. A good distraction, but “Lexi can I call you back this evening?” We lose our signal or something. I now hear others as I make my way to the office. My phone rings but breaks off. It doesn’t do well when passing in a hallway.

I’m at my desk, Jillian’s but mine this week. There’s the word ‘URGENT’ on top. I called Mr. Dobb’s secretary. She says, “We need to verify if this claim is legit, we think not.”

I follow it back to the claimant and look at his statement. The claim if legitimate should have gone to another plant. But I follow back his claim of a faulty backhoe and find nothing that he nor his company have purchased or leased. I copy our documentation and send it to Mr. Dobbs.

I checked with our two closest implement dealers of that equipment to him. One knows of the claimant: while his record is technically clean; he or his extended family have paid claims out of court and off the record. It is hearsay, but JD could probably verify his checkered past.

I am now behind on the regular work I was to be doing. I smile to myself, I am not used to this much detail work, but it is like a jigsaw puzzle that is coming together.

My Mom calls, “Do you have your golf clubs with you?” Yes, they’re in the car, why is she asking, “There’s an open tee time at Bunker Hill course at 5:15. Meet you there.”

While my shoes are in with the clubs, I would be playing in my work clothes. I asked, to leave early, but can’t say my work is caught up. Thus, I will be playing in my work outfit.

Thursday is Ladies day at another course and a woman executive has requested my presence. Work does allow for that early round of golf. Yet I am to put in a full half-day, whatever that means.

Thursday, with my sports bra and golf outfit I play fairly well. Ms. Edith Chambers comments, “We’re wanting you to give a good show, but had been worried you might not appear to be a woman. You are doing quite well.” I had to use a restroom to clean up before we ate brunch.

I got a call from Lexi, which I was going to ignore. Ms. Chambers urged me to take the call. “Hi, Lexi, I am at brunch with an executive. I’m sorry I forgot to call back last night. Yes, I think I can make the last weekend of July. Yes, it will be great to see you.”

Ms. Chambers said, “I take it, you have a friend at the university, how nice.” I knew she wanted more information but that was not forthcoming. I hope I did enough to please Ms. Chambers. Upon the end of our being together, she assured me I would see her at the Deere Run course.

After my golf outing, I knew from others that men who were summer help were sometimes told they could take off the remainder of the day. Ms. Chambers encouraged me to get back to work and if possible to stay the needed time to get my work done.

The work I had was mostly busy work which was easy enough to do. I visited with other office staff in my area. They laughed at my comment that the different expectations of some male workers and females. One said, ‘You as Nick, was one of the exceptions to the rule. When they got Nicole coming to work it was with your reputation from last year as a good worker. They also know your mother.’

Three in our unit invite me out for wine or coffee at the end of work. I had done enough that they are sure Mr. Dobbs would be pleased. I went expecting to order coffee or tea. Rosalyn ordered me a glass of white wine instead. Ros said, “Here this is a perk that I don’t think Nick would have received.”

We tipped our glasses to one another. Rosalyn and Chi, both twenty-something, made me feel welcome and suggested we go out sometime this summer. The golf outing, working as Nicole, and now this was playing with my head. I was being Nicole much more than I had imagined. And it was as though, I was no longer imagining being a woman.

I called Lexi that evening knowing she would understand. She said, “If you’re still taking the pill, you might want to cut back on any blocker. I want to see both of you when we get together later in July… But please do bring those clubs, it would be fun to have a golf outing with Nicole. I’m pretty good at golf even if you play from the women’s tee, I think I will beat you pretty buns.”

Friday, I took a change of clothes with me to work, because I was going to Steph Reid’s afterward. I would be able to shower and change there. She, Lace, another friend, and I went to the National Mississippi River Museum here in Dubuque. I swear it was different doing things with me being among a group of women my age. What we take an interest in and talk about is different. I find myself growing in perspective as one person, images are losing their duality if that makes sense.

We saw Mr. Dobbs and met his wife Mira and teenage daughter. I had also seen others I knew, but I don’t think they recognized me. Steph giggled when we both said hello to a teacher in passing, but we're sure she did not know who I was. It was upon our leaving that we saw Mrs. Schmidt again and Steph told her who I was.

Mrs. Schmidt said, “I thought there was a resemblance to Rachel, even now I see more of a resemblance to your sister and not you as Nicolaus… I wish you well in your search. I hope to see you again. It is always good to hear how students are doing.”

The next day came early and I was dressed as Nick and up early to help with the first milking. Lewis’ hired hand needed off and dad was getting ready to cut hay.

Once done the milking chores and cleaned up for breakfast with Lewis and Haley. Haley commented, “I was hoping Nicole would be here and she’d go grocery shopping with me?”

“I’d rather not make a change of clothes and makeup, but I’d be happy pushing Marcy around in a cart,” I said.

Her smile widened, “I was hoping to get you to use a baby wrap carrier that I got at a baby shower. It would be more ideal with Nicole,” she said.

I did go shopping with her, but either carried Marcy or had her in the appropriate carrier that fit the cart. The interesting part was how many neighbors and friends we met knew I was sometimes cross-dressing. While a few comments were of the ‘I don’t know…’ thought; more were light, positive greeting, ‘I can tell that you’ve changed… or I wasn’t overly surprised when I heard it was you.’

While not everyone knew, it was a relief for my family and me that it wasn’t a big secret any longer. Sunday, I went to church as Nick and to the earlier service to be with Grandma Strayer. “It is nice to see you Nick, but I’m a little disappointed I was wanting to see more of Nicole. Your father said you’re becoming more the one person. I know it’s stereotyping, but if I want to talk to you as my granddaughter, well you know!”

I giggled, “Well do you have an old granny dress that I might fit into?” Grandma and I went to eat after the worship service. What I didn’t know was that she text her close friend Maybelle. She and her granddaughter Bree were coming to grandma’s at 1:00 p.m. Maybelle had an old granny-styled dress and Bree was bringing makeup and accessories.

“You know Nick that your hair is enough longer you need to have it styled again.” I could tell as we were visiting that she was expecting someone or was thinking of something. I was ready to ask her when the doorbell rang and she was quickly up. I had met Maybelle before and might have even met her granddaughter.

Bree was introduced to me and she smirked, “Aunt Evelyn, your Grandma said her granddaughter wanted to wear a good old fashion granny dress.”

I said, “I was joking with her. There was no way I’d be doing any transformation or trying on that dress there and now.”

Maybelle Miller said, “Well your Grandmother asked for something I have and my granddaughter has a way with hair and makeup. We’d miss doing something your Grand would like. You should think again on it.”

Bree spoke up, “I can’t believe I am saying this, but I think it was a neat idea. My thought now is you should go change out of your clothes, shower, and do this. I’m sure you were in theater at Dubuque Senior.”

I said, “Hempstead just a year ago.”

“The thing is you can act and look like a sister.” I couldn’t believe it when she even walked in front of me and pointed up the stairs where the second bathroom was.

It felt a little strange as I was up there as a little kid, and now I’m wondering what my great grandparents would think. The bathtub has the old claw feet legs. The porcelain is worn and while there is a shower and curtain it begs that I take a bath.

A new women’s razor tells that grandma was hoping for this. I’m embarrassed but have to be pleased that she was accepting me.

Shaving my legs wasn’t essential, but it was wise and didn’t take that much extra time. I was glad to see a fresh package of panties and put one of them on. I didn’t see the bra right away but only after I lifted the camisole wondering if that would be it. It was then that I recognized both the camisole and peach bra were mine.

I called out, “How did these get here?” I didn’t even need to identify what I found. Mom and Rachel started to speak at the same time.

Finally, it was mom who spoke, “Grand called and wondered if you might be embarrassed if you didn’t fully look like Nicole. Rach and I agreed, so here we are… Don’t worry about your hair or makeup, young Bree looks like she knows what she’d do.”

Rachel said, “I have you know what we have in the car if you want them.” I decided with the camisole and no cleavage showing I didn’t need the chick fillets. I stuff my bra cups with a presentable amount of tissue. The camisole was next along with a half-slip that was there with over half of it being lace.

I asked Rachel to come into the bedroom as I stepped into the dress. It was a good choice in asking for help. “You look so cute Nicole after you get your arms into the sleeves would it be okay if I took a picture for your memory book?”

“I don’t have a memory book, Rachel,” I told her.

She said, “That will need to change if you’re going to be Nicole. You can use pictures to replace you in your graduation pictures. Never mind, Grandma here has one that could be good for Nicole.”

The granny dress buttons a lot easier having Rachel’s help. Rachel pulled out an old pair of 3” strapped sandals. I asked where they came from and found out they were actually grandma’s.

I had brushed my hair as it became damp, but letting Bree take over led to a new look. She also brightened the area around my eyes which was a delightful change. She and I then went to an ice cream place. The others went to but in a different car. Bree and I talked to younger people than I usually did. One dude liked the young woman in the old fashion dress and wanted a date. I turned him down, but part of me was wanting to say yes. Bree knew it and gave me a hard time.

Mom paid Maybelle some good money for me to keep the dress and half-slip.

The next morning to work I was light on my makeup but used the method of brightening around my eyes. If men noticed, they didn’t say, but numerous comments came from other women.

Covering for Doris T. was updating prices and costs to distributors. It also brought me into a group of women who were cooler in receiving and accepting me. It took putting up with it until two co-workers warmed up to me come Wednesday.

Tuesday evening I had gone to the pond bordering our property with the Williams’. I had called Sherry and she and her friend Jalyn met me at the pond where they dared me to go skinny dipping with them. It took a bit of coaxing and it didn’t last much more than half an hour. It was fun and a new experience to be down to my panties and bra swimming with others.

Jalyn asked me for a date and that would be a double date with Sherry and a friend near the end of the week…

To be continued…
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