Supposedly it was only done for review purposes to help me take the rough edges off of my performance. The following Tuesday we practiced again; changes in my makeup, movement, and voice improvements were all noticeable.

Come Saturday the first portion of my paid work time was given over to a dress rehearsal for the fashion show. One of the larger unoccupied stores was used for practice. I was given a small space to change that was poorly portioned away from other female models. I would make five changes involving clothes, shoes, makeup, jewelry, and hair. Ms. Jansen unveiled the outfit she was having me use and Eryn and Melanie who was with me Oued and aahed over the selection. Ms. Robbins’ from Macy’s made a last-minute change of the dress I was to wear for them. Dorie Adams from my store was more than pleased as I wore three shoes from our store. One each with a selection from Maurice’s and Forever 21.

I finished my workday as Nicole wearing leggings and a knee-length skirt outfit. Lexi was able to help me with my change of outfit, makeup, and hair for work. Some news video was taken during our dress rehearsal, and one three-minute interview with one newswoman. The one broadcast I saw, had me with a three-word response and one visual of me in one dress.

It was Sunday and Wednesday’s worktime when I heard from a number of customers visiting the store. More than one didn’t believe that I was really the person to model as Nicole from our store. Tuesday’s practice began after my 3 o’clock class. I would do my changeover at Lexi’s and Candace her other suite-mate made sure she was around to see the changeover.

I had done a full-body shave the night before, so the sensation of stockings, panties, and a skirt with a bra and camisole under my light sweater-blouse all had an amplified effect. My karaoke performance as Stevie Nicks had drawn a good crowd.

My big surprise came with a warning Thursday night when Rachel called me to say she was coming to see the fashion show and that my mother was coming with her. Lexi and Kayla had already arranged a salon appointment for me on Friday after class. One or both of them had already talked to Rachel and then my Mother. They had already seen pictures of me, without my knowing.

Ms. Jansen from Forever 21 was the first to insist on the salon trip. It would include hairstyling, a pedicure, manicure, and false eyelashes. While the eyelashes were not terribly long they were very noticeable. It made such a change I was now more delighted than nervous to see Mom and Rachel. Lexi was with us at my choosing. I knew I would not be able to explain everything they would want to know.

We were probably ten minutes into eating our meals when my mom caught Lexi by surprise. “Can you honestly tell me that you’re attracted to my son as Nicole?”

“Mom!’ was my response. “Mother!” was Rachel’s.

Lexi was definitely caught by surprise, but I love her response, “Mrs. Strayer, I’m not sure as a mom you really want to hear all I could say. But yes, I have fallen for Nick, and if I have my way Nicole will not go away tomorrow.”

Mother said, “To be honest with you, I wouldn’t want her gone before a good mother-daughter time either.”

It was Rachel, after we finished dinner and talking said, insisted we all need to use the women’s room to freshen our looks. She whispers, “Nicole, you do need to wash your hands and check your makeup.” It felt awkward for Nick to use the women’s room at the same time as my mother.

Lexi and I were staying at Kayla’s apartment to help with taking care of my hair to sleep and helping me to get ready in the morning.

Ms. Hanna Robbins from Macy’s insisted I come in a little before other models to make sure my breast forms would allow appropriate outfits or dresses to show some cleavage. She assured me and others it would be within good taste. Lexi and Kayla helped me to be presented appropriately. That Hanna Robbins would probably only giving the formal okay. While my breasts presented well, Hanna said I needed to be in the proper makeup for being under the lights and professional photographers.

Hanna and Ms. Jansen had been thinking so far ahead that my toes were painted the correct color for my open-toe dress shoes and sandals. I was the first woman model of the show, but it was not made known I was a man. Several customers of Hers and His Shoes had figured out by my second or third change and were applauding and calling my feminine name. Two even said, “I want you to serve me the next time Nicole!”

The special outfit of Forever 21 was my fourth change and I could hear the opinions of women in the audience. They generally were very favorable. It was as I was walking back that the announcer said, please give Nicolaus Strayer a good round of applause. She models as Nicole Magers; we are told her mother and sister Rachel might recognize her family name from two generations ago.

I hear the people’s applause become louder as I walk off the stage and Ms. Jansen speaks to me, “Why don’t you turn and acknowledge their approval with a wave?” I turned and curtsied as I didn’t dare lift my head and look at the crowd.

Ms. Jansen complimented me, “I guess that is just as good and more appropriate for whom you are.”

I approach Ms. Hanna Robbins and she’s telling me there’s a change, “The dress you were going to wear has been changed. We want you to wear one of our new prom gowns instead.” I’m soon down to my panty and put on a dressing gown. They need to quickly change my makeup. I’m given a skull cap for a wig and my earrings are taken out. A bra that remains open in the front is put on me. The new gown is open in the front just to the bottom of my breasts. The satin around my body feels fantastic as does the lacework in front down to my waist. Lexi acted as the dresser who put on my stockings, that too felt especially nice.

Lexi says, “They want you to try on four-inch heels, but they’ll be changed if it is too much.” The shoes are opened toed and I see how beautiful they look as Carrie helps to put them on. Carrie extends one hand and Lexi has my other arm as I’m to stand.

Yes, the one-inch difference feels very different, but Mia had me try a pair the other week, just in case. I turned to Ms. Hanna Robbins, “This is not fair to change things so drastically.”

She quickly says, “Please don’t make a scene? If we need to we can make the needed changes.”

My response is, “I think we need earrings and I need to see myself.” The Hillsdale Jewelers had a beautiful pair of chandelier earrings. I walked to the full-length mirror and lifted my hands toward my face as I was in awe of my appearance. I was not ready to look like a beautiful princess.

Jennifer one of the other models was on before me and I was happy that Forever 21 had her looking fantastic as well. I watched her walk out and listened to them describe all she was wearing. Jennifer Morran was a junior and I recognized her as one of Melanie’s friends. She was handed a scroll that they announced her winning a two thousand dollar scholarship. I was awaiting her as she came through the opening in the curtains. She had tears in her eyes and opened her arms for a hug. She did not fully hug me, and the kiss was an air kiss.

Ms. Robbins stepped in front of me smiled as the gown’s appearance hadn’t changed. She did use a makeup brush against my cheeks and nose. “Thank you,” she said, “You are as pretty as Jennifer.” It caused me to smile as the curtains spread for me to walk through,

Stepping up onto the runway, I used the steady support of someone at the steps. I was steady and still as my name was announced and I began my walk. People seemed unsure that it was me. I paused slightly wondering if I made a mistake, “Go ahead,” I heard a voice, “You only look different.” I stepped again and was walking as they told me about the gown, even that I was wearing a debutante bra with silk stockings. “Nicole has worn neither before though she must have worn similar high heels before.” My hands gesture to the bracelet, and necklace though I had not remembered them being put on. The diamond earrings are described as something a young woman may want to rent instead of buy. Out of nowhere I hear a fan and feel a gush of air hit my legs sending my skirt up into the air. All I could think of was famous photos of a famous actress holding her skirt down. “Oh no! Not me!”

Someone yelled smile, and I looked in the direction of the request. “Great shot!” The noise of the fan blower and the wind stopped. I smoothed out my skirt and faked a smile to regain my composure.

“Give her a hand ladies and gentleman for how she handled that.” There was applause as I walked back and was glad as I knew I had successfully completed the show. Well, that wasn’t true; there were two models after me and then we all would walk back out for the finale.

I would never have gone to a fashion show, but being caught up in one was exciting. I watch the two professional models showing the final two outfits. I even felt like I could follow the descriptions and got excited to consider the beautiful gowns and their accessories. The last model came back and then the two of them led us out on the runway.

It was not the roar of an athletic event, but there was a joy of an inspiring event that the audience and participants were all caught up in. We were all out near the end of the runway as the crowd stood and applauded. I looked and found my mother, Rachel, with Kayla and other friends, but it was my married sister Susanne Williams who surprised me with her presence. I had considered kneeling down and stepping off the platform to go to them but we were two steps up and commonsense won out. I was in a dress and there was no comfortable way to get to them.

Walking back, I found that where we had changed was once again part of the functioning store and we were instructed to walk back to the women’s changing rooms. Lexi soon found me, and said, “Let me help you to change as quickly as possible. There is a sizeable group of family and well-wishers wanting to greet you.”

The cake makeup for the models was different and took more time and effort to change over. Macy’s had a makeup specialist who helped. Most of the other models were comfortable the brief time they were down to their panty and bra. Thankfully, Alexis quickly had a skirt for me to step into. She had me standing looking away from the others as she helped take off the one bra and wrapped my breasts in a precious peach bra. The blouse was one I wore for the fashion show. Lexi said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I selected this as one of your free choices. You’re getting the skirt as well, but you can wear that another time.”

I asked, “What about the panties and stockings?”

Lexi giggled, “They’re from Victoria’s and Pink. They’re not taking them back, so they’re yours.”

I had stepped into the shoes I came in. Going down two inches was a breeze in walking. “Sit Nicole, and I’ll use a foundation to give me a smooth canvas in doing your makeup.”

‘Here I am a college freshman, a guy, and what she was saying made sense to me. Yikes.’ I turned to Lexi, “Would it be okay if we just left out the back? I feel like I might freak out.”

I don’t know where Rachel came from, but she said, “No, take some panting breaths and let yourself relax… You did wonderful little brother. Now you can relax and enjoy the moment with the rest of us. We are all jealous of what you did.”

Lexi pulls me up and over to a mirror where I see the image I know to be Nicole. The show is over, but I look like I’m stepping out of a fashion magazine. Rachel and Lexi each have an arm or hand and are leading me to the group of others. There are women, I don’t recognize congratulating and praising me as well as customers that I can identify. There’s my mother and another sister, my college friends. I’m wondering where are my guy friends? They’re not part of this part of my life.

Another breath and I am submerged in Nicole’s world and it feels great. There are three people talking to me, and I’m intently listening. Mom gives a hug from one side, and Susanne is hugging from the other direction. Oh, Nicole! You were marvelous. We need to talk.”

I knew her breasts were pressing against me and there was this space. She was giggling as I began to. Lexi and Kayla were directing a picture to be taken of my sisters, mother, and me. “Smile. One more.” I was signing programs, Nicole Magers or Nicole Strayer.

It was mid-afternoon and we selected one eatery as a place to gather at. I was starving, but it was pastries and pies that we were choosing from. The table in front of me has pulled away, so we could visit in a larger circle. I have a piece of pastry and a cup of tea that I am balancing on my lap and a napkin. If I were a young lady I might be impressed with myself. Strangely enough, I am enjoying the moment. It was almost three o’clock and it is now after five and we need to make way for the early dinner crowd.

Mom and my sisters have a suite of rooms and I’m supposed to be staying with them. Lexi hands me an overnight bag and two hangers of clothes that are for me to change into. Rachel has one small piece of luggage. Later I find out it is my makeup and toiletries from Lexi. I get to shower and freshen up, but they won’t let me take a needed nap. I am not a coffee fan, but Susanne has made a cup of espresso I’m to drink to stay awake.

Susanne and the others are amused to hear my story of practicing and becoming Nicole for the fashion show. It is my voice and gestures as well as being dressed as Nicole that impresses them. I know tonight I’m their sister and daughter.

Somehow it is Rachel and me who share the room with two queen-size beds. Her nighttime routine of taking off makeup, moisturizing skin, becomes mine. I have a nightgown and a hotel robe to go back and visit with Mom and Susanne. Mom has used the small liquor bottles to make each of us a drink. Whatever it is, it has a sweet taste as well as being a strong drink that I’m to sip.

Mom begins, “This is as close to a vagina talk you are likely to get from us, Nicole. You have done too well today that this is not part of you. Words to the contrary will need to be more than said. If you’re even in part a Mager or Strayer woman; you need to know being so is more than a skirt and appearance”

I respond, “You don’t really think this is who I am?”

Susanne giggles, “I have my own announcement and there is part of me wanting another sister sometimes. My news is, come August you’ll have a niece or nephew.”

I’m not sure why, but I confessed to liking to be Nicole. That as Nicole I had made friends and been much more active. Mom wondered aloud about my studies, but academically I was doing as fine if not better than I did in the first semester.

Sunday morning we had gone to breakfast and I was presenting as Nicole when my phone rang. I pressed to answer but stayed quiet as I was not wanting to answer as Nick out in public. There was a moment and then I heard Dorie’s voice. “I know I said you can have the day off because of family. But I was wondering if you might come in for two hours; we have numerous customers asking about you. I did say you might be stopping in sometime today.”

I asked, “Did you suggest 1-3, usually our slowest hours?” It was presently 10:30 a.m. “And are you wanting Nicole or Nick?”

Dorie says, “It sounds like you are out as Nicole, so would that be easier on you?”

My mother had whispered, “Noon to two would be preferable. We need to leave around 1 o’clock but we’d be interested in seeing you at the store…”