We stopped at a traffic light and Lexi paused, “You did once or twice didn’t you, but didn’t take it seriously. I didn’t think it was something you’ve done but having a mom and attractive sisters and girlfriends you’ve since taken notice and took it as normal. That’s the sensitivity we’ve referred to. It makes you attractive to some of us women, and this is only going to increase that sensitivity. Please, don’t get blown away when it comes to light.”
“That scares me,” I say, “you’re not saying if but when it comes to light, as though it is a certain thing.”
Lexi giggles, “Yes, even you know that if you think about it. If not before, sometime during the fashion show that you’re a guy will become known. They might not say your name, but I’m sure one of your growing number of customers is going to make the connection of you representing ‘Her and His Shoes’.
We are walking up to Kayla’s apartment, her carrying an overnight bag. Eryn and Beth are there and I know Jan will soon be there after she picks something up. I was ready to flop down on the notorious couch when I caught myself. Inside there’s another person, Mia, she’s a fashion and design major. She says, “Nicole, you are off to a good start, but you need to relax and practice, practice, practice. Don’t worry, unless it becoming second nature to you causes you to worry.”
“You are going to be changing clothes, hairstyles, and shoes walking stairs between here and my room 1012 for several hours. You’ll be practicing makeup as well as going out to eat and later dancing.”
Eryn says, “Megan’s downstairs, and Mia and Lexi will be down there to watch and help you there. Kayla, Beth, Jan, and I will be up here. A few others will meet us for dinner and then later most of us will go for a short night out. Then like last week you’ll stay the night here, have brunch and change back at Lexi’s to be Nick again. You should plan on two study nights as Nikki this week for added practice. Your new ID will work at the library, the cafeterias, and elsewhere.”
I speak up, “I didn’t volunteer for all of this.” Eryn, Lexi, Kayla as well as Megan over a smartphone, “Neither did we, at least not directly,” Eryn ends it, “But I guess, none of us wants to embarrass ourselves.” I guess that summed it up for me as well.
I changed into a long skirt and blouse outfit, which necessitated a change of makeup that even I could see was needed. Walking downstairs as well as just walking itself changed with the long skirt. Coming back up I had added bracelets, a necklace, and dangling earrings and a purse I carried using a short handheld strap. Lexi and Mia stayed there and I walked alone. Another female student got into a conversation with me. I wasn’t sure if she was part of a set-up or not, but I felt comfortable enough. She complimented me about my outfit. She was happy to be done classes for the week but was staying here for a long weekend of studying and reports. She was across the hall and down from Kayla in room 3034.
The next outfit was a short skirt with leggings and a pullover top. My hair was changed to a ponytail, and I had to choose my makeup. Kayla changed some of my makeup, to appear as though I had raised cheekbones and she brightened around my eyes. I changed to casual shoes, they were Skechers slip-on sneakers with two-inch heels. It all makes for a nice look and I get asked if I am one of Mia’s friends as I approach her apartment. “Tell Mia that Stu and Jeff are interested if you’re going out tonight.” I blush and do not respond as I knock and enter Mia’s apartment.
Mia recognizes Jeff’s voice as I enter; she gives me a hard time about attracting guys. “I’m willing to fix you up if you’re willing?” she whispers, “He’d even be old enough to order some drinks if you wanted that.”
I did not respond to Mia as they had me sitting up like a young woman. Megan had handed me a plate with half a tuna salad sandwich, a pickle spear, and maybe three chips, with a place for a cup of tea. It was a balancing act that I seemingly pleased them in accomplishing. I was reminded in this case to cross my legs at the ankle. We talked about spring flowers that might decorate the fashion show.
Megan from my entrance there was set upon changing my hairstyle and had it in large rollers to give me a straighter look that curled under around the ends. My pierced ears were given a set of chandelier earrings of silver aspen leaf design on hoop-shaped hooks. My makeup was done for evening wear, and I was talked into wearing a waist cincher and a red skater dress.
I spoke up, complaining about the waist cincher and that the outfit would stand out this early in the day. Kayla responded, “We agree but we want Mia’s thoughts on you wearing it tonight.” Though I didn’t count that many I’m told this is my tenth change and there will be one more before dinner.
The heels caused me to go slow down the steps; I knew I had improved in my walking. Several people were out in the lobby area on the first floor. No one mentioned my looking like a guy, while seral asked where I was going dressed up this early. Mentioning Mia’s apartment, several replied that it could be tough to pass her critique. The only obvious change was two push-up pads added to my bra. I guess the change was not lost on two women still there talking when I went back upstairs. Kayla, Beth, and Jan had a good giggle at my expense. They also talked and agreed with the other room that it would be my night outfit. I told the group that I didn’t want to go out tonight. When I should have told them no, and held my ground.
I was thankful that Kayla and two others joined me in changing for dinner. Raelyn and Ciera Eagle from our study group met us at the restaurant. It wasn’t until Raelyn called me by name, Nicole, that Ciera recognized me. “This is the secret you have kept from me? How come you have let only some people know you’re transgender.”
Both at dinner and earlier at the apartment complex, I had been seen by several classmates who did not recognize me as Nick. My first being outed was by Melanie Adams the student who worked at Forever 21. She saw us eating and came to say, ‘Hi’. She said, “You impress me, but I’m not terribly surprised when you accompanied them to select clothes from our store.” She pulled a chair to our table, “I have been looking for you ever since I heard Nick might be the representative from his store. I even guessed you might be practicing to pass as a woman.” She giggled as did others, “It takes this many women to make you over into an attractive woman?”
I had ordered pie, fitting the restaurant we were eating at, but Lexi had volunteered and ate half of my piece. I was ready to complain until I realized she was doing Nikki a favor. I needed to change my eating habits until after the fashion show.
After dinner, Kayla, Jan, and Lexi took me back to change and be ready for the evening. Something I planned to protest against. Kayla handed me a glass of water and two small pills, she said, “One is like a sedative and will help you to relax and not embarrass yourself. The other will help with your complexion and hair.”
I took them saying, “I intend to relax and sleep or do some reading while you go out tonight.”
Jan says, “That’s not in our plans, you need to be around music and to feel the rhythm dressed as a woman and sway to the music.” She said, “I plan to have at least one or two dances with you.”
Lexi says, “Me too.”
It was an hour and a half later, and they had me try one outfit before we decided on the one from the afternoon. I did get to wear a silk pair of panties with a shield to protect the panty. I felt a little upset though I wasn’t going to tell anyone. Seemingly, I’ve become more relaxed and used to dressing as Nicole around them. They weren’t exciting me as usual.
With the waist cinch and the dress on, I appeared better dressed than I had earlier in the day. One of the agreements we had for the night was someone was always to remain at the table watching our purses and drinks.
We had gone down to Mia’s apartment and were joined by Eryn and Megan. All three giggled as we hug, “You look ready Nicole. Two weeks to the Spring Fashion Show and I think you’re ahead of the other models. Tonight is important, it gives you a chance to relax in girl mode and allow all this to become a little second nature to you.”
I was glad at least my eyesight hadn’t changed, and that I found all of them attractive. The nice side about not getting aroused was? It was easier to get in conversation and just be special friends instead of sexually distracted.
It was after 9:30 when we first went to Smugglers Inn. I guess the plan was to be there for up to an hour and a half. They were happy to see a group of women, and the people at the door checked IDs for only a sample of us. They knowingly chose the ones’ who had students' IDs out and looked of age. I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked in.
Jan soon had me on the dance floor along with a half-dozen of others. But we soon attracted a group of guys pairing off in twos with our group. We were the third set of women to be asked to dance. And instead of trying to argue or explain, I danced with Stu. It was the third song when things slowed down. I was walking off when Al gently tugged at my hand, and nicely said, “Would you please allow me this dance?”
I warned him, I wasn’t a good dancer, but his smile indicated he could handle that. In the middle of the slow dance he raised the hand he was holding and I went with the flow. I turned as I went under and back into his other arm. Megan’s words echoed in thought, ‘It gives you a chance to relax in girl mode…’ Al was a third-year student, in mathematics. He would like to teach at the high school level but confesses the pay was better elsewhere.
It was after our second dance that I returned to our women’s tables. I got teased about attracting men. Going to a women’s restroom where one had to wait to use a toilet, was different for me. Listening to three women getting graphic about how they sized up the men were different as well. Connie laughed at Judith, “Why did you waste your time doing that? Who of the large group of women do you find to your liking?”
“Hush,” said Judith, “one of them is in here and another might be a man out for the evening.”
I was put back together and came out of my toilet stall. Judith turned and apologized for speaking about us. She asked, “Could I make it up to you by buying your next drink?”
I thought to myself, ‘I’m not into talking in here. If you’d like to dance or visit at my table; we can talk about that when I’m back there.’ I was nervous as I checked and refreshed my makeup. By the time I was finished, they had already left the women’s room. I spoke to Lexi once I was back at the table.
Lexi smiled, “I wonder if she was feeling you out? If she thinks you’re one of us, you better be careful or you could lose your panties and secret. It could be that they’re looking for the girly-man to help one of them have a baby.”
Mia and I were talking, when Al came and asked me to dance. I was ready to say ‘no’, when Mia spoke up, “You could use a little more socializing.” I reached my hand up, and taking hold of Al’s hand didn’t feel bad. I liked hearing he wasn’t out to get serious with anyone. We were finishing our third dance when he kissed me on the cheek.
When we went back to my table, I invited him to sit with us. Which I didn’t think he would, but he did. I found myself pressed to make conversation with a guy. I thought of my sister Rachel and it came to mind to ask him if he preferred dogs or cats. It got several at the table into the discussion.
Al finally said, why don’t we just change subjects and have another dance. It was as we were dancing, that Judith from earlier in the evening cut in to dance with me. I knew after the dance that I was done with her. I didn’t have a reason other than I wasn’t comfortable. Lexi later told me, that’s always a good reason to go with.
She said, “I think you have done quite a bit today. Even with only a little to drink it is probably wise to call an end to the night out.”
Melanie complained as we got up, “I haven’t gotten to dance with you yet.” With that, she quickly took my hand and led me to the dance floor. It was a slow dance and near the end, when she asked, “Did they give you a sedative or what?”
It was then I understood about the sedative I was given earlier in the evening. Lexi giggled as well as apologized as we were riding back. “Kayla must have thought you understood. We didn’t want you to get embarrassed by getting aroused at the wrong time. It wouldn’t be very woman-like.”
Tonight I showered and was given a nightgown from Lexi. I don’t think it was planned that I would sleep with Lexi but I did kiss her when she was close and things progressed from there in her room. While Alexis was the one I felt the most attraction to from the beginning. Now as Nick/Nikki didn’t feel like the right time to make it known. I found myself apologizing to Lexi while getting excited one more time.
Lexi laughed, “No apology needed, I am just happy that I can make out with Nick even if Nicole is the one I’m kissing.” As we were progressing, she said, “Everything is safe as I’m on a different pill.” She giggled, “That is the first time I felt a need to say it to a woman.”
I wore a pair of designer jeans that with a little help I was comfortable that Nick would remain unseen.
It was noon when as Nick I emerged back to my apartment and then back to work at the mall. The mall was relatively slow as the weather outside turned bad. I made a requested visit to Macy’s, Maurice’s, and Claire’s. Others needed to help me pick jewelry, fashions, and more shoes for the Spring Fashion Show. Macy’s and Forever 21 both promised to have shoes in my width come to the fashion show. It meant that word was leaking out, and they, the others, thought it would increase the interest in their spring show.
If Sunday proved to be a slow day at the mall, I was encouraged to come prepared to try on some clothes from Macy’s, Maurice’s, and Von Maur’s. I had called Lexis’ near the end of my Saturday shift and asked for her help the next day.
I make a second call to my sister Rachel, after saying hi, I said, “It has happened.”
I can hear the joyful surprise in Rachel’s voice, “You’ve been outed and the world has come to an end?” She paused, “You don’t seem to be overly worried or crushed by this.”
I joyfully say, “But I do have a surprise for you… I fell in love with one of the students helping me.”
She asks, “Is it the one with brains and beauty or the one who had hidden the fact she was taken with you also?”
I questioned her about the second person, I was sure she wouldn’t have guessed because I hadn’t known it. Rachel says, “You call her by two names.”
I think, ‘Alexis and Lexi,’ but how did she know. I said, “Alexis and Lexi, but how did you know?”
Rachel said, “I sensed it early on, but I didn’t want to influence things one way or the other. You now need to take the time and just enjoy it for the moment. Sometime after the fashion show, you two can see if anything comes from your initial attraction. I wish you well. Does she look anything like Jamie?”
Jamie was a girl that I was in love with in my junior year in high school. I didn’t see any significant resemblance.
Brock was gone to Minnesota or I would have told him my secret. I laugh to myself knowing he wouldn’t have believed me when I first told him.=^_^=
Come Monday morning my world started to reshape itself. I was up early enough to have breakfast with Lexi and Jan. It was the first time Dolan saw me up early for breakfast. Seeing I’m with Jan and Lexi, he jokes that I’m finally developing a social life. He’s the one who tells Brock that I have a girlfriend.
We a fair size university of 30,000 plus students so that one guy is to be in a fashion show is of little to no significance to most. Going down to Lexi’s suite Tuesday afternoon to change and be Nicole going down to supper is a big thing to me. If more than a handful of people knew or cared who I was, I probably would have been fooling myself. It was Karaoke night at one spot and Jan, Lexi and I made a brief appearance as a group of women singers. We began singing Wannabe as the Spice Girls and two other women joined us to be the group of five. While I was probably the weakest of the five, Lexi and the one calling herself Sugar said I did well. I had changed after supper into a sequin skater dress that lent itself to singing as a group of girls.
I didn’t know until after we were done that Eryn was there and videoed my little performance….
To be continued…
