Sweet Dreams-58

Chapter 58

*Before…

“Honestly girls I could give two shits about the schools popularity wars and stuff. I don’t care who owes who what or who’s sleeping with who and who looked better in what effing outfit that who and shit like that.”
Jen chuckles. “Yeah exactly why they hate you.”
Betty… “And like no offense but you’re poor Hunter they are really like offended you’re even in the school.” She then mimics someone she heard. “Effing crack whore isn’t there like rules for having people like her in our school.”
The girls are nodding and I turn around from the sink and the mirrors. “Okay…if Alex is in I’ll do it but can someone tell me what the actual point is? I mean other than the dance and stuff what does Homecoming Queen actually do?”

*And Now…

There’s way, way more of a screaming girly squealy moment than I thought that there would be and it makes me wince. I wave my arms and my hand s to try and shut them up and quiet them down but that just goes to show just how much apparently I don’t get about all of this.

Jen looks at me after the girly-burst. “Well when you’re like Homecoming Queen you do stuff like for the team.”

“Team which one.”

“Uhm…the football team…” Betty says it in the almost singy valley girl way that could have been followed by Like Duh…

I look at her. “Just them?”

Jen nods. “Pretty much and yearbook stuff like pictures and then there’s like the parade and the dance.”

“Parade…like down the street parade.”

There’s nods.

Shoot me, just…just shoot me.

Alex slips over and wraps his arms around me and there’s that hug. That really tight hug he does. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I kind of do, I mean I just can’t let her and them get away with acting the way that they do. I mean if she wins and stuff she’ll be lording it over us all year.”

I can tell, I swear I can tell he’s making a face. “I hate this crap you know that right?”

“Then don’t run Alex just because I am that doesn’t mean that you have to.”

“No way, no how am I going to let you go through this without me Hunter.”

I sort of slip around in his arms and turn around to look at him. “Thank you…”

I kiss him pretty decently then and there and yeah the girls are doing that fan-girling thing that some of them do with like romantic stuff and shipping us with way more lusty stuff that what really goes on with us and everything but whatever.

Oh…I can’t believe I just whatevered.

I can’t believe I’m running in homecoming and court.

I’m still working on getting a grip on Alex and me still being something real and my life changing so drastically.

But I tell ya that boy can kiss, and I’m finding despite myself I’m really falling into that stereotypical girl thing when it comes to kissing him and stuff.

There’s some very loud and pointed coughing from two of the teachers there and we break it up but nothing’s really said.

That’s good but still weird.

I’m really not used to being in the privileged set at school.

I’m kind of used to hating people like Jen.

And me?

I look around the caf and it’s just a sort of morbid kind of curious look and I’m looking not at the kids around me in the whole popular side of things but over to what would have been me…you ‘know the loners and the geeks and the sort of like unpopular kids that don’t really fit the popular and semi popular high school tribes and I’m kind of looking for.

Yeah…it’s there.

I see them and they see me and some of them sort of do the don’t look right at it thing with me but some of them are doing the glare and don’t like me because I’m one of “Them” looks.

Sigh…fuck.

I knew it was bound to happen and yeah if I was a shitty person and all self-absorbed and shit I’d trot out the they’re just jealous crap but I’ve been there and they’re coming at this from places of being likely treated like dogshit by some of these popular people and stuff.

So…I’m going to need to change that.

I lean back into Alex and enjoy the moment. “You won’t mind if I do this?”

“Yeah, I’ll mind if you’re dragging me into this too.”

“You want me parading with someone else?”

“No.”

He makes this face, it’s not quite the jealous face but the him not liking the idea of me with someone else. I kind of look up and back at him and sort of do my own smile and run my fingers over his. “I’m not going anywhere Alex, we’ve been through too much already.”

It’s such an odd feeling that this disturbs him that I might be doing something like that with someone else. I mean it kind of feels good, I mean not that this bothers him but that it makes him feel.

Wow that sort of sounds bad really. I mean it’s definitely a girl thing or seems like. But there’s something about him wanting me like that or better needing me that does something inside. I’m not sure I like the thought of me being into things that feel that way. It feels…okay…I knew and likely know girls that would make this sort of situation…mom’s like that. Yo-yo someone’s feelings until they behave the way that you want them to.

If it happens because it just happens it’ll be like yay cool but I’m not going to keep looking for it.

Sigh….

I really never thought about this stuff before, and falling for Alex, being with Alex it’s getting past the turbo-fast-sex-fuzzy-logic-love-stuff…And that’s scary and messed up when you take we barely know each other, we’ve barely dated and we just happened and we’re living together.

And the shiny’s wearing thin to the real.

I don’t mind the real though. After years of bullshit and running and cons and the steps hit and his drug deals and mom dancing and hooking.

Alex hugs me tighter. “It’s okay…you’re not there.”

(Sniffle.) “How’d?”

“Your breathing changes when you go there Hunter.”

“It does?”

“Yeah it does, you get this look too.”

I shrug and it makes my body sort of rub up to him in good ways. Not like sexy but that being held and feeling more of just how big and solid and just there he is.

I just enjoy it.

“You don’t mind doing this with me?”

“Yes, I said I do mind but we’re together and that’s all the support each other thing right?”

“Dunno Alex, I’ve never really seen a healthy relationship.”

“Me neither, but it sounds good.”

I look at him and he’s got that sort of semi half grin. That one that I like so much. I smile back and kiss him again and he kisses me and admin are coming over to cough us apart again when the bell goes off for registration.

I smile and wave at him as we head off to our own classes and lockers and the girls are with me to that point asking me about if I’m going to stay in the running and there’s squeals that I am and that Alex is too and that we’re going to try and do this together.

Jen’s actually not as annoying and we talk a bit about her and Cindy being in the running too and the fact that Jen’s run before but this time as a girl-girl couple.

We even got a sour faced some chick do this whole mini-bitch thing of “Dyke” at her as we’re headed to English after homeroom.

“Actually I’m Bisexual if that’s a problem Jo-Anne!” Jen actually almost shouts it. She’s definitely not in a closet over this.

The Jo-anne girl looks shocked, livid…and like the wind got taken out of her sails. I look at her then walk with Jen right past her. “Don’t pay her no mind Jen, bigots usually thing what they thinks scary is insulting. I think it’s pretty cool that you don’t label the people you care for.”

I meant it too. It’s very cool that she’s being that open but also the Bi thing. I mean there’s a shitload of people even in the LGBT thing that aren’t really about the Bisexuality thing. It’s actually really misunderstood a lot too. Like there’s people that’d think that Jen switched “sides” or that she should since she’s with Cindy when it’s noting like that.

It’s just simply she’s with Cindy, not her gender.

I think that right there along with trans people there’s a whole lot of want things to be more than what they actually are.

Like me…technically I’m intersexed and there’s a lot of folks that say I’m just getting something fixed more than actually transitioning. Well that’s another million pounds of bullshit, most people know shit-all about being intersexed and think that we’re all just hermaphrodites that just need a little snip done.

I needed that, and opening, and I don’t have the parts I need and I have to take hormones and stuff too…and I’m just one, one variation on that.

Sigh…I’m still learning about all of that stuff too.

Classes are classes and stuff and there’s a few people that are giving me nods or wishing me luck in running for home coming and I shake a few hands with all of that feeling weird since this is the first time I’ve ever really shook hands that much?

I mean guys sort of do at this age but I’ve never been the definition of guy more like guy meets gender queer and stuff.

But I shake hands and I do it with some of the girls too. I got some pleased and sort of odd looks. Girls often don’t shake hands either, I mean not high school aged ones.

Morning break comes around and I asked and got a copy of the homecoming charter and stuff from Todd who got it from the yearbook committee and I’m going over it and taking notes as Alex brings me a coffee.

Yay coffee.

Yay Boyfriend.