Sweet Dreams-23...Holy! F#*K!, Did I just get A Life?

Chapter 23

I’m crying…

I’m crying and it doesn’t hurt, there’s none of that bastard Cliff shouting in my brain. It’s nothing even remotely close to anything bad. It’s good; it’s actually so good that it’s hitting me.

I’m sitting in this pile of comforters and quilts in the sunshine and I’m softly curled into the arms of the most perfect thing in my life. Alex…

And kissing.

It’s this soft sweet kissing and he’s holding me and he’s touching me all over, not that running his hands over me groping like stuff but just these gentle touches. My sides, my face, my arms and hips and even between kisses he’ll reach out and…and do things like run his finger over my cheek, or my lips or my eyebrows…and of course wiping my tears away.

I’ve never kissed like this before. I’ve never felt like this before and there’s so much just love there? I’ve never had this, never even dreamed of this being a possibility in my life.

My own hands are shaking y’know. I’m touching Alex because I can, because there’s somebody there to actually touch and …. You’d have to be in that place I was born in. That place where all you’ve ever known in being alone and hurting and somehow just not right to really get that even after the sex, after all the stuff we’ve already been through to have this. A moment, this afternoon like this, being just loved for a change…and being able to touch him. Just touch him…yeah I’m shaking a bit.

Who the hell wouldn’t?

I’m so falling into being Hunter, well the whole girl thing. I mean the way I’m feeling, the happy way my heart squeezes just right and there’s thing mix that’s stronger than any drug of this wanting to laugh, cry, shake my arms and squee…I’m just freaking out but it’s in the most incredible way.

It’s like I can’t express, really express the love I’m in and feeling and its turning into this energy in my body that’s…that’s…

Okay…

I think I’m having a lovegasm…warm and mushy and melty all mixed in with teenaged girl screaming at her favorite singer. Yeah, melting and vibrating at the same time.

I love it, I love him, I love the feeling of sunshine on my skin even through the windows.

It’s a really weird thing isn’t it that before Alex I never really felt the sun the way that you’re supposed to.

Alex get up and checks on the food while I watch him and he mixes stuff up with butter and flour for something for baking and he puts it into the fridge. Then he comes back to me and I can’t help but to sit up on my knees and meet his kisses and we sink back down to the floor and instead of sitting we end up lying on our sides in the blankets on the floor and we kiss and kiss and kiss.

I always had this thought that you fall in love based on sex and stuff but that’s not the way this is. Not for us. It’s this, I feel so good that it’s like I’m living in a dream. It feels like he’s using those kisses to suck the poison out of my life.

God I don’t know why he does this to me but he touches my non-existent chest and I feel things, It doesn’t take much for my nipples to react, I know that men react too but it just sort of makes me feel more girl like, more female and that’s really starting not to be a bad thing.

It does get my motor running though and soon I’m touching him and stoking his stuff and feeling him hardening over me isn’t terrifying anymore, it’s kind of exciting and gratifying that I do this for him. I kiss him a little more and soon we’re taking off our clothes and as soon as my top’s off Alex’s mouth finds my nipple first one then the other making me whine and try to push my non existent breasts at him.

The naughty boy had the lube in his pocket of his sweatpants. I’m more than good with not having to really stop.

It’s heavenly even the part when Alex is sliding into me and I’m being forced open so much by his size and it still kind of hurts at first but I’m starting to get used to him and there’s other things that I’m starting to love about it.

Like the body heat, I can feel the heat of Alex inside of me. The act of it and the closeness, and it does feel incredibly intimate now. It even get’s better when we get to where I wrap my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck and Alex makes love to me. I think I like face to face better, it feels better, god it feels really good and Hunter me is really bubbling up as we come together and he’s making love to me and he makes me cry out in a good way in a passionate way.

I cry out to him… “Alex…Alex…I’m gonna…”

And when it happens he pulls me up off the blankets and kisses my so passionately and those giant strong arms of his wrap around me and hold me to his body. I can feel his hot cream coating my insides and It takes me over this edge again and I shudder and my body does this involuntary clench around him and there’s this feeling of Alex so hard and huge inside of me that it makes me sob. “Oh god, oh god, of fuck…” and I’m washed away by this tide of pleasure that wells up from somewhere deep inside and it has me panting and feeling so warm and flushed.

He holds me for the longest time and there’s more kissing but these are those French kisses where his tongue is in my mouth and before all of this I would have said eeew to that even with a girl but there’s such a passionate flush of energy through me that I’m eagerly sucking on his tongue.

“I love you Hunter.”

“I Love you too Alex, god I’ve never been happier.”

“Me either, this, this is what I’ve wanted all my life.”

“All seventeen years of it.” I smile and kiss him and nibble actually on the side of his perfect jaw.

“I feel so much older than seventeen, I just felt tired and hurting so much before you Hunter.”

“I know what you mean, my life was an object lesson in the hell people could inflict on a kid. But with you…with you I feel safe, and loved…the safe’s a huge thing Alex.”

“I know, God Hunter I want to make it better. I want to make it up to you.”

“Alex you didn’t do any of it you shouldn’t have to make it up to me.”

“Hunter I love you so damned much I’m looking forward to learning that life doesn’t have to be this dark and depressing place. I’ve seen these looks of pure happy in you sometimes and god help me I want to see so much more of those.”

“God start so far handsome.”

He lays me down and we kiss some more until I feel him thickening again. “Roll over Hunter.” I look at him and he’s smiling but reaching for his backpack for school and takes out some lotion. It’s just stuff he has to keep his hands from getting all messed up from shop class and football. He rolls his eyes cutely. “Just roll over.” I roll over onto my stomach and he passed me the pillow off the couch. “Here get comfy.” I tuck it under my arms in sort of a hug and I feel him position himself and sink back into me.

I love the sigh that he makes as much as Alex being inside of me again. He stays inside of me and then I hear the lotion and he didn’t squirt it on me so he must be warming it with his hands and the he starts. I’m laying there like I’m ready to sleep while Alex is massaging me from my butt all over and up my back and my neck, my shoulders and the entire time he’s sliding just really slowly in and out of me in the slowest most sensual loving sex of my life. I’d fallen asleep if it wasn’t for the sex, the lovemaking. I watch the clock and he varies his speed and his tempo and he makes that slow massaging love to me for close to forty minutes getting me to that rushing swamping flood of pleasure and warmth and heat as I capture him inside me again and he fills me again.

No cries, no big grunting just all these soft breathy satisfied and loving it moans and whispers of sweet things to each other. I really don’t feel remotely boy like. He covers me after with the blankets and then kissing me he lifts me from the floor to the couch and he goes and cleans up and I’m sort of curled up and cuddled into the blankets all blissed out when he comes back and he made me a coffee.

I really love coffee and I really, really love it when he makes me a coffee.

And cooks, which is what he’s gone back to doing. The apartment is flooded with this smell of beef stew. I’ve never had beef stew before. I slip into the kitchen the blankets around me and put my cup into the sink. “I’m going to go and take another long bath and get cleaned up okay?”

He turns and kisses me, and hugs me in this making me feeling small and pretty and girly squeeze. “Okay hon, I’ll take my time with the rest of the stuff.” We kiss again and I’m pouring bubble bath into the water when it just kind of bubbles up in me.

“He just called me hon…”

I sink grate fully into the tub, I’ve already had a bath today but I just feel better and cleaner after sex when I’ve had a bath. I’ve already used my other things to clean the really messy stuff up first.

I’m feeling good, sore but actually not that sore but really good, I can’t really describe it other than languid?

I head into our room.

Hon, our room…god I’m smiling again.

I slip into just a soft silky pair of panties and a pair of yoga pants…god those things are so soft and light and comfortable and I put his jersey back on. I just swim in the thing and could use it for a dress if a really short one and I pad back out to the living room in my bare feet still just not really able to get this so good inside and out feeling out of my system.

I never thought, I never dreamed that I would ever have something like this.

I smile at Alex as he’s taking biscuits out of the oven and the place just blooms with that smell.

We take the food back to the living room and we put it all on the coffee table and we snuggle in together and we eat while watching TV. I think he really does love me because he gave me the remote.

I’ve never really had anything that’s been long simmered and slow cooked before in my life and it’s one of the best things that I’ve ever eaten before. We even feed each other every once in awhile. I even like all the veggies and stuff that he put into it. I’m not fussy not with I grew up with.

It turns out I actually don’t mind pepper when it comes out of a pepper mill. I finally get the big deal over melting butter and hot biscuits another first for me. I ate two bowls and three biscuits and a couple of the little potatoes in his.

We just stay snuggled and relaxed for a few hours and then we did up the dishes together and with Monday morning looming at us we went to bed about eight o’clock.

We didn’t go to sleep right away either, and we didn’t make love but we sorta did? I mean it’s weird for me to think about it this way like it’s making love but since when did making love have to be about the sex?

Nope Alex makes love to me by bringing his laptop to bed and setting it up to play a movie and he wraps his big arms around me and pulls me tight to him and we cuddle together as I watch Disney’s Beauty and The Beast for the first time in my life.

I cried a lot not just because of the movie but just this.

All of them were happy tears and in love tears and being loved tears that had me drifting off to sleep so safe.

Yay…………My Heart.