My Super Secret Life-15

Chapter 15

*Shane/Kai-Lin…………..

There’s this so strange happy goofy girly feeling that washes over me as Sunny backs up over the curb like a spazz in her car. It’s a feeling that I’ve never had before…not as Shane and remembering back though as Kai though I remember the feelings.

Being me in China as a Japanese beauty and of the famed geishas and being able to draw the heads of men with just these flirty looks and ways of just looking like lust flowing like walking sex but not being able to be touched.

But me, doing that make someone sex stupid, goofy like a girl that’s Sunnys caliber tall, blonde with great athletic build to her with these great legs and these really big perfect ti..uhm breasts…c’mon Shane, no gutter talk…besides you’ve got a pair of your own.

I look around my dorm room. The good thing about this place is that this school wouldn’t be caught dead having their charity cases in rooms with roommates. We even have our own bathrooms. Their still small really but it’s private and I’ve lived in worse.

I’ve been homeless before. That’s not fun.

And the girly period hormones kick in and I go from the bouncy flirty happy to caught up in my memories and crying and hugging myself because…I’m here, warm and safe with legal rights and the chance to get and education.

I fall on my bed and curl up getting lost awhile and crying…Kai…in my other life girls had no rights, no education…and after the attack living in the streets…Shane’s life was brutal and hard but 17th century Japan’s streets are so much worse that you can imagine.

And I’m crying over all the good things, the blessings that I never had.

It’s a good cry coming from a bad place.

I’m not used to crying, neither of us are. My guy life it’s just not machismo to cry, but Kai was Japanese and trained too…there’s rules to what emotions that you can show as a geisha or a shinobi.

I feel better though after it though.

With a sigh I go through my bags and start unpacking. I love these things, the girls clothes. It’s a big change since I’m fused or started fusing together. I’d be wigged before but to the Kai-Eta girl there was nothing but poverty for so long. Then even under Atara’s training everything I had was hers. I can’t fight being so happy to have and own my own things. I don’t care that I’m being a girl about this. I am a girl now. And…and I’m now this happy bouncy all over again my hormones swinging me to the other side of things again.

I try to keep the mood though and I put my laptop on this site where I can list the themes of music that I want it to play so I get rock, Hispano-rock, pop, girly-rock, girly-pop, and Chinese-pop and Japanese pop. It’s a weird mix but I’m dancing to it or trying to and if anything I’m drawing on all of the martial stuff I know and my street experiences. That and getting all girly squee over owning things and having pretty things has me buzzing and totally forgetting about my PMS stuff until I get everything put away.

I decide on a bath to help me feel better before heading out for supper at the cafeteria.

I open one of the bath kits and make myself a bubble bath, the very first one in either of my lives and after getting rid of my tampon…(ick..) I sink into the hot water. Oh this is where my Japanese side takes over, there is such a reverence for a good bath and how much it can do for you I just about melt.

Tension inside of myself in didn’t know I was carrying was melting away. I soak but I start to think about today, and Sunny and the changing rooms….

*** Beijing 17th century.

I was clean, had been clean for the longest time now and fed. It was hard not to bolt my food, hard not to eat with my hands and to sit right, to show manners. If I didn’t Lady Atara would hit me with a bamboo switch. It made me angry, made me hate her especially when she’d knock the food from my hands.

She’d hit me until I would get mad and attack her, sometimes with whatever was at hand and sometimes with what few martial arts I was learning. This turned into a fight, really martial arts practice, I had to learn the basics before she would bring me to the others that would teach me. “You’ll not set one toe in China’s soil if I think you will shame me.”

There were lessons on walking, posture and languages. I stopped being allowed to speak Japanese and Mandarin, Cantonese, and Han forms of Chinese became all I was allowed to speak. I read my first words ever in Chinese. I got to learn math’s on the abacus.

Everyday, was lessons between lessons was Tai-jutsu lessons and to learn and learn and learn. Tai-Chi became a must, cooking a must, making tea a must. And getting allowed just short amounts of sleep and trained to be her maid.

“Kai, you’re doing well there is time soon to learn more lessons, harder lessons but vital lessons to the life of a Kunoichi.”

“Hai…Atara-Sensei.”

“We will be staying with Lady Chou, she is a powerful lady in the Chinese courts and a well respected wife of one of the Emperor’s admirals. You will need to learn things Kai, things that are manners but are also things that are not spoken of outside of the silent layers of the courts and in between.”

“I do not understand Atara-sensei?”

“Kai, come to my rooms.”

“Hai.”

“Softer, more sensually.”

“Hai….”

“Good.”

“Sit on my bed.”

I sat and she undressed me, kissed me? Was touching me…like a man would to a woman…?

“Sensei…?”

“There are things that you need to know Kai, noble husbands do not tend to their wives and there are special…very…special skills that only we women can learn…and enjoy…a “Good” maid can move and be sought after by the ladies of many noble houses and learn so many secrets….”

Her hand dipped ever so lightly into my sex, my womanhood and…between the kisses to my small breasts and to me I was taken by a wave of bliss…my first orgasm that…was so good, was so tender.

*** Present day…bathtub.

Oh….Oh…I’m a tiny little lesbian ninja…I’m cupping and doing girl thing I know by heart and for the first time with one hand as I have another one sinking my fingers into myself and I’m sort of unfogging from the memories of that to Me and Sunny with those amazing breasts of hers…that body…My fingers stop being my fingers and start being her lips tracing over my sex and her tongue sinking into me over and over licking and flicking and …and I’m hoping no one’s able to get 17th Century Japanese because I’m crying out in it.

And I came twice…the after effect is my brain melting with my body and I sink under the water but my legs and feet come up to rest on either side of the taps.

Unflipping-believable.

I giggle laugh scream under the water It was that… It was that good I feel human again, I feel like Shane, but dancing, ninja, sexy slinky Shane. I get dressed for supper and don’t even mind the whole tampon deal and get dressed in a little cute satiny halter top and my bra and panties, a black pleated skirt and then change my shirt to a short sleeved light blue blouse and a thin tie and over that though my zip front hoody sort of a street meets Japanese school girl thing. Canvas sneakers though, I just can’t get out of that habit.

I take my laptop in it’s denim shoulder bag and head off to the dorm cafeteria and I don’t have to wait in line too much. It’s mostly a buffet kind of thing and there’s enough refugee kids and enough of the cultures here in Paradise City there’s a few major cuisines. North American is the biggest but It’s called Californian, Hispano is next in the most popular stuff and then Chinese, Hindi/Vishanti and then Caribbean. But there’s others. But I hit the Dim Sum table and get some of my favorites there, a shrimp taco, and a kabob with some jerked chicken on it and some rice with chickpea and other things in it. I get a pineapple bubble tea to go with it and sit down at a table and take out my laptop and start watching the Net-Channels and stuff while eating.

“Excuse me, can I borrow you soy-sauce?”

It’s a mellow quiet pleasant guy’s voice asking me in conventional Japanese. I look and it’s Kyle Rocker…that rich boy that beat me, the old me in that martial arts competition.

And part of me wants to hate him, or freak on him, or just dump the soy-sauce over that long corn silky blonde hair of his. But he looks so…tired? He’s out of the shower and in a way bigger than him white t-shirt and satin snap up boxer/kick boxer gym pants and rubberized training slippers. There’s dark circles under his eyes. I just pass him the soy-sauce. “You don’t look well Rocker-san.”

“Have we met?”

“No, but I see you fight, you’re a champion warrior yes?”

“I…I… fight but warrior no, not really.” he moves away to his own table sitting alone.

He looks so…hurt?

I watch him. He’s eating sushi or rather he’s forcing himself to eat. But he’s eating here? He’s one of those golden boy popular people, this isn’t even the main cafeteria. Maybe three or four minutes is all I can take. I might have all this Zen stuff going on in my head but I’m also an in your face nosy hispano inside and besides I’m a girl and I swear that’s honestly part of it as I squirm in my seat during those few minutes before I get my things and move to his table sitting down opposite him.

“You don’t look so good.”

He’s looking at me, it’s so hard to tell what’s going on in his head. And dammit! I have to know!

“It’s been a bad few days.”

“Bad? How bad is bad?”

“I…it’s personal……”

“I’m very sorry, I don’t mean to pry.”

“My girlfriend…my sorry…ex-girlfriend terminated her pregnancy.”

It takes a minute for my combined self to have that sink in and as Shane I’m really sure that this hurts like nothing he’s ever felt before then add in getting dumped…but Kai…the thought of killing a defenseless baby…of terminating it…of an abortion is just….

And that slams into my PMS hormones and I’ve got tears in my eyes and the next thing I know I’m sitting on the lap of a guy who I’d sworn that I’d have hated on general principle letting him cry his eyes out on my shoulder and hang onto me.

There’s some thoughts there that trickle through after awhile.

He might just not be the selfish rich prick I built him up to be.

Old Shane would never have done something this close with a guy no matter how close and now it feels good to be there like this for someone. It feels descent, it’s been awhile before I’ve felt that.

Small…I’m four foot eight and he’s six two, maybe one eighty of muscle; compared to me he’s huge. And it makes me feel this strange mix of feelings, small, delicate, yet strong that he’s really holding unto me tightly.

I rock back and forth with him a little and kiss the top of his head.

WTF? But it was, was it was…I wanted to do it, not some latent thing of Kai’s life this is new to both of us.

People are looking at us and I use one hand to pack my things away and wave one of the cafeteria staff over. I ask her if she can find something to put our food in in whispers. She just took one look at us then nodded.

“Kyle…we should get out of here yes?”

“I’m sorry, I’m….I guess, I’ve already made a scene huh?”

“Hai…”

“Great…”

“Kyle….”

“Yeah…”

I lean down to look him in the eyes. They are this shape of brown or hazel I’ve never seen before. Red rimmed from crying, and the dark circles there and the sadness there he’s got this abused puppy look that grabs a hold of someplace in me a squeezes. “Fuck them…”

I bite my lip and blush a bit, part of me just has a thing about using bad language…about it being gutter trash like…I’m getting it more and more too.

He smiles a little and the squeeze again, he’s got this really nice smile, little cute dimples….wait…I’m a lesbian…right?

Oh god…they’re not surfacing but they’re there. Memories of me, back then being with men.

And then he has to duck his head and look at me from behind that corn silk hair of his while blushing. “God, I’m so sorry.” he says…I don’t even know your name?”

“It’s Kai-Lin, but everyone calls me Shane.”

“Shane….(sniff.)…I like that.”

“Hai, me too. Come…we’ll go to my room.”

“I thought you couldn’t have guys over there.”

“Hai….You’ll have to be very quiet when I sneak you in.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t….”

“Kyle…you should not be alone tonight. Not facing this.”

“Okay…”

I take him to my dorm and snag several papers advertising something or other. As we walk I’m layering them together for weight but using origami to fold them into these four pointed shuriken (throwing stars.) I wait and see the house mother there in the lobby area and she’s grading papers or something paperworky and watching her soaps. I focus my chi, there’s a lot of words for it but most people know it too as chakra energy. “Kyle san, there is a stairwell just inside to the right when we move we move fast…got..it?”

“Hai…” I look back at him and there’s some kind of life creeping back in his eyes. He’s making fun. I stick my tongue out at him. I’m not sure why I did that but it felt good to do that. It felt girly good.

I push the glass door open really fast and throw both of the paper shuriken and use the chi, soft chi I’ve wrapped around both of them to increase the speed and force and by pulling the energy back to me giving incredible spin on them. The first one hit’s the power button on the TV turning it off and the house mom turns to look and the other one knocks over her cup of coffee. She jumps up trying to wipe herself off, save her papers and I sneak run inside hang a right and sneak very fast all the way with Kyle to my room.

I close the door and lock it behind us then lean against it panting. He’s panting too but there’s a smile there trying to get out.

“That was amazing, how’d you do that?”

“Ancient ninja secret.”

He laughs a little quietly, then looks around…blushes some more. “So now what?”

“Now, we go to bed.” I say putting the leftovers in the mini fridge we’re given.

“What….” He whisper shouts it.

“Come…” I walk over and pull him by him hand to my bed. I climb onto it and pull him down.

“Shane…”

“Be quiet Kyle san, just turn around.”

He gives me this look but shuts up and rolls so his back is to me. I slide in and snuggle up and spoon, hug, hold him close. “See, we go to bed.”

“Oh…I thought…”

“Hai…I know…..Neither one of us is ready for such a thing, even if it did happen.”

We’re just laying there for awhile when I hear his voice pretty quiet, very hurting.

“I’m changing Shane.”

“Changing?”

“I’ve got the meta-thing or whatever and I’m changing…Sherry couldn’t handle it…I’m sorry…If you want me to go…”

“No…it doesn’t matter.”

“It does….to Sherry, to my family…”

“Your family?”

“I’m living in the dorms now.”

“They kicked you out?”

“Yeah…” There’s this choked sob and he starts to shake, he’s trying really hard not to cry again. It’s the only thing that sort of emotionally blocked the rush of hormonal rage that came up over family treating family like that.

I hold him and rub his chest with my arms around him and I can feel through my hands and my fingers the hurt, as he starts to cry, I keep rubbing over his heart like I’m trying to open up where he’s bottling up all that pain.

Then I hear Kyle whine something horrible…. “She…she said that…that she wasn’t going to have so dirty freak growing inside her…”

He just completely breaks after that and he rolls over into me and hangs on like I’m the only thing he’s got.

I just might be.