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My Super Secret Life-17.
Chapter 17
*Alexis…….
I took the bus home curled up into the back seat after the worst day of my life.
Sunny’s the Superhero Titan and able to change from girl to guy. She was just one of the hottest girls I’d ever known and since her change she went from being this slutty kind of girl to being this smart and engaging person.
You think you’re in love then…something happens with that one you’re with that just floors you in how awesome they really are.
So I opened up to her…took her to a party where I got to be the real me. Alexis…not Mathew, Mathew’s a suit I’ve had to put on.
I’m a freak or I feel that way sometimes.
Daddy’s little girl wants her daddy’s love and attention but she doesn’t want to actually be a girl.
Like I said a freak.
I did all of it so make he might love me, but the real me? The boy who’s a sort of girl who wants a whole other life other than football and the frats and then business classes.
But with Sunny…I let her into my world, and Ty…Titan…I gave him my virginity….it meant as much to me as it does for any Bio-girl…I’ve head this in for so long that…that I wanted it to be special.
It was the greatest thing…God I felt complete…I felt real, not like going out and playing dress up at being Alexis but me…Ty…it made me feel real. For the first time in my life I was me in the world.
Yeah I was freaked, thrown, scared shitless really.
The thing is went you feel that real…life gets real right back. The thought of me going away, going back into hiding was claustrophobic. I needed to think and Sunny was pretty good that way…and I’m a wonderful liar, I had managed to talk my way back into being Matt…I could do this…we could do this.
We started to make love again and that’s when she told me about Sonya.
It hurt.
Hurt, no it was like getting kicked in the heart. It’s stupid, really stupid but I thought Ty was a virgin too. And then…then Sunny….how long ago was this!?
That hurt worse.
Betrayed…
Yeah…it kinda felt like it.
I freaked out and shit just came out. I’m not even sure of the crap I said but I was angry and god…just so…all for a wild adrenaline fuck? A wham bam thank you ma’am things that likely let her feeling like crap too…I thought I was falling in love with a better person than that.
So now we’re done…broken up and it might not have happened if she hadn’t said it first.
“We’re breaking up are we?”
It was just so much easier…to say yes, to run from them and the hurt and….
And then I get stopped…put through the third degree…after that kind of break up and my body hurting, sore deep inside and that wasn’t a lingering thing of the pleasure now but of regret…I wanted the special…and I’m bruised from his fingers and there cum leaking into my underwear and I look like hell, smell like…and I’m interrogated, and questioned, retina scanned, printed and once I’ve signed enough papers my hand was sore that was it.
Man-yana freak… no they didn’t say that but…it felt like it.
Worst walk of shame in history.
I stayed curled up on the bus until I got home and walking home…shit my dad was there watching the guys from the dealership adjust the antigravity basement on his new Aero-lamb. (Lamborghini.)
He stared at me and so did the guys from the dealership, the neighbors watch dad getting his new pride and joy and I walked as stiff and tough girl as I could into my house.
I never new outside could get that pin drop quiet.
Mom was next and she just stared at me too.
I was halfway up the stairs when my inner strength ran out and I was doubled over crying…all the way to my room. You ever lose it and cry so much so uncontrolled that it hurts to breathe…that your diaphragm hurts from the sudden abnormal amount of abuse you’re putting it through?
I cried until I think I hyperventilated, or passed out but it was me…it this room dedicated to someone who wasn’t me…crying out the hurt…hell wanting to die really it was that bad.
And nobody came.
I’ve never felt so alone in my life.
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Comments
that makes more sense...
Sometimes someone needs to take their head out of their butt and just talk to each other.
I hope one of them realizes this before its too late.
great chapter (sad but great)
thanks
I agree... His/her reaction
I agree... His/her reaction didn't really fit. Alexis didn't seem cold enough to pull the "I just needed a reason" breakup on his/her girl/boyfriend.
Shit s/he just ruined a perfect thing for them out of frustration and anger. Argh... can't they read each others thoughts or something?
What kind of asshole parents does Alexis have anyway? Their child comes home in drag, bawling his eyes out and they don't care enough to investigate? If they had no idea, they should assume someone pulled a really mean "prank" on him. Otherwise they should still look, considering the obviously fragile emotional situation of their child. If they wait to long they might end up with a nice corpse on a rope when they enter his room next time.
Alexis doesn't seem the suicidal type though.
I see the potential for a tragedy here, but you're not really someone to write tragedies... I wonder if Alexis is the type to wallow in his/her own misery. I guess the snapshot decision date-sex breakup thing won't do for him, since the complicated gender situation and s/he's not over Sunny/Titan. She actually wants their relationship back.
I hope they find some way to talk to each other, because Titan is a time bomb and Alexis is one too. I wonder... will Alexis get herself in trouble, and Titan has to rescue her. Or will Sunny find herself in a Situation where Matt has to rescue her somehow. I don't know about Alexis, but I'd probably be stupid in her situation and wait for sunny to call me or something. But Sunny probably thinks Alex/Matt hates her and won't call her either.
I hope someone cares enough for them to rescue them.
Thank you for writing this touching story,
*hugs*
Beyogi
Wow...Great Comment Beyogi:)
You touch on so many points here and It really helps get the wheels inside my head turning. Alexis and Sunny even despite the whole Titan thing and stuff like this happens. Life can be hard at the best of times for all of us but sometimes being a teenager can really suck.
I'm not exactly sure where this'll go yet but it's certainly making for an interesting story to write.
Thank you so much for letting me know how much you liked this and your thoughts on this part of things.
*Very Big Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
Thanks Lonewolf:)
I'm not sure what might take place yet. There might not be an easy way for them to really talk both of them feel really terrible right now.
Thanks for reading and commenting it means a lot:)
*Hugs and Howls*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
2nd Puberty
Sunny/Titan is going though all the hell of a 2nd puberty. All these emotions that she'd never experienced before have to dealt with. I will give her points about trying to be honest, but so much about timing. Matt reacted just as a teenager would. Hurt and feeling betrayed, it was perhaps a more feminine reaction than male. So now we Sunny who is on suspension and hurt, as well as Matt who being ignored by his/her family and hurt.
I hope one of them will have the courage to call the other, but I don't have a lot of hope. Both of them are going though a lot. We can only hope.
hugs
Grover
Really right on the money Grover.
There's a lot for both of them to go through for sure but I don't know anyone who got through childhood or their teenaged years unscathed and without scars.
Thank for the comments and the insight.
*Very Big Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
"I’ve never felt so alone in my life."
Oh Sunny, please, call her! Aaaak this is emotional stuff....
Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels
Well Alexis has one definite female thing going for her...
and that's an experience that took her first time and totally trashed it.
Thanks Dorothy:)
*Great Big Angel Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
A "Not Very Smart" Comment
Well, like, it was bummer on topa bummer and, like, multiple bummers and, like, too many bummers and I couldn't, like, figure it out after that.
Pretty sad; I actually am confused. Very good writing though. Thanks
======================================= later that afternoon ==============
Ah! A big problem was that I hadn't read chapter 16. I reread 14, then 16 then 17; Comments and replies to 16 answered a lot. Well, I guess we just wait and see what happens. Alexis certainly isn't in a good place. I feel bad for her and worry about her rents reaction; hope it's not too horrid.
- And -
To the above reply: I had 4 different first times. First time trying to be a guy didn't work, impotent after 10 seconds, that's it. My first female orgasms were great, my first time with a (nice, big, handsome, highly skilled) guy was fantastic, amazing, unbelievable..... And my first time with a skilled lesbian was out of this world!! (like, even better!) (and her hip and finger and thigh and, and, and... didn't get soft even once!!) (maybe her tongue got tired, since mine does, but I couldn't tell.) (And I'm still with her!)
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
Ready for work, 1992.
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
Still though you can get the whole thing right?
Taking that huge leap of faith and having such a good night then sex that was Life Changing in it's conformation of the stuff bouncing around inside of you. Then...then that person who's become two people you love...cheated on you...awhile ago.
I think Alexis/Matt is in the right place mentally and emotionally just...It's a shitty place.
Thanks for reading and commenting Nee-Nee:)
*Huge Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers