The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1551 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

The set up was the same as for NHS patients, except you got a bill at the end of it–or in this case, Simon had agreed to a total fee including surgery unless O’Rourke thought it inappropriate.

We waited for about ten minutes then the beaming Irishman called Julie’s name. “Will you come in, too?” she asked me.

“Is that a good idea?”

“I’m so nervous as well as being embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed? He’s a surgeon who plays with private parts all day long.” Possibly not the best phraseology, but you get my drift.

“He hasn’t played with mine before, and if he says no, I’ll need you there, Mummy.”

“Okay, if Mr O’Rourke doesn’t object, but I’m not taking part, just sitting quietly in the background.” She nodded and still holding my hand, which now felt decidedly moist from her nervous secretions, we walked to the door from which the Irishman had called her.

“Ah, Julie, do come in,” he said as she walked through the door.

“My mum’s coming too, is that alright?”

I went through the doorway and his face lit up, “St. Catherine, how lovely to see you again–didn’t realise this was your lovely daughter.”

“I thought you’d spoken to Simon?”

“No, once I get d’referral, my secretary deals wit it all. I didn’t recognise d’name. Right, young lady, have a seat let’s get d’ formalities over wit.”

“I’m here purely for Julie’s moral support, so I’ll stay here at the back and keep out of the way.”

“Indeed ya won’t, sit yerself down beside her. Now, Julie, I’ve got the referral letters an it seems moi colleagues in brain shrinkin’ seem satisfoid wit yer gender condition. You certainly look d’ part. However, dem brain shrinkers don’t do d’ surgery, so I like to satisfoi meself dat yer really what ya claim t’be.”

I swallowed hard, I didn’t recall this grilling when I was done–but then I wasn’t just eighteen. Julie squeezed my hand and began to answer his questions, occasionally seeking clarification from me–which O’Rourke allowed without a murmur.

He questioned her for about twenty minutes and then invited her to lose her jeans and panties and sit on the couch. I stayed where I was while he pulled and pushed to see what material he had to recycle.

He invited her to redress and after disposing of his gloves, washed his hands and came to talk to me. “Seems a long toim since you were here.”

“Yeah, a couple of years or more.”

“Every ting all roight, is it?”

“I have no complaints, and as far as I know, neither does Simon.”

“Good, dats good t’ know Oi haven’t lost me touch.”

Julie rejoined us and he went through the mechanics of the surgery–this I had done with him although I think his technique had changed a little from my day. Hardly surprising, things improve with practice and new ideas come along all the time.

Then twenty minutes later, we left with Julie clutching a sheaf of papers, one of which was her date with destiny–January 8th–when she’d arrive for preparation the night before and surgery on the following day.

She looked exhausted but elated and on the walk back to the car she stopped, hugged me, kissed me on the cheek, hugged me again and burst into tears. “It’s the most wonderful day of my life,” she said in between sniffs and sobs.

“I hope not the most wonderful, because I sincerely hope you’ll have several of those, when you find someone you wish to spend the rest of your life with, when you adopt children and so on. Any day can be wonderful.”

“But, I’ve lived for this day for so long, I didn’t realise it would happen so fast.”

“Do I detect a hint of uncertainty in there?”

“Oh no, Mummy, I want it done, like yesterday. But I’ve like waited for this for years and suddenly in a month’s time I’m going to be complete–that’s like wonderful. And I love you so much for reminding Daddy to organise it.” She hugged me again and stood resting her head on my shoulder. One or two passersby stared at us, but I didn’t really care and Julie wasn’t really taking much notice, she was up in the clouds somewhere.

“C’mon, let’s get home and share the good news.” I put my arm round her and steered her towards the waiting Jaguar.

“Can we just sit here for a moment while I take all this on board?” she yawned and closed her eyes. I thought for a moment she’d gone to sleep, which wouldn’t have surprised me–it was a very emotional day for her as it was for me when I was done. Sounds more like a tom cat than a people thing but I wasn’t sorry I had been done, and Simon was very pleased.

“It sounds silly, doesn’t it, Mummy, but I’ll feel like, more complete by having something cut off.”

“I think I, of all people, won’t argue with that scenario, and life is frequently beset by paradoxes.”

“What?” she asked looking at me in the gloom of the car park as the windows of the car began to steam up.

“I’ll explain when we get home, but I assume you understand the term, paradox?”

“No, not really.”

I do drop myself in it, don’t I? "Okay here goes, a paradox is something which appears to be or mean one thing, but on closer examination or investigation is something entirely different, frequently the opposite. Lots of religions operate in it and so does quantum physics–like Schrá¶dinger’s cat.”

“Whose cat?” she asked looking completely bemused.

'Oh poo, maybe she needs to talk to Trish.' “What you’re feeling is anticlimax, you’ve achieved something, a big something and now you’re looking round to see what’s next–which is the surgery. Once you’ve had that, you’ll be able to plan the rest of your life, although, in reality it doesn’t make that much difference to everyday life.”

“I don’t know, I’ll have to sit to wee.”

“You do now, don’t you?”

“Course, but I do have a sort of choice. Then I won’t.”

Was I picking up uncertainties in her voice and choice of words? I wasn’t sure, she denied it but I’d be horrified if she had surgery and then a couple of years down the road regretted it.

“You are absolutely certain it’s what you want, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Mummy, I am absolutely certain–d’you think I’m getting cold feet?”

“No, but I’m starting to feel cold, let’s go home, shall we?”

“I can’t believe it’s all gonna happen in a month’s time–it’s just too wonderful. I must email Phoebe.”

“I think you’d better advise the salon as well.”

“Oh God, yes, I’d forgotten that.”

“You’re working tomorrow, you can discuss it then.”

“Will you come with me?”

“If I can get Caroline to do the breakfasts.”

“She will, I’ll ask her.” Julie closed her eyes and muttered to herself that she didn’t believe it.

She looked very tired and we were all supposed to be going out tonight to celebrate her birthday. I thought she needed an early night, not a celebration, but Si had booked a table and Henry and Monica were coming down for the meal–it was in the Green room of the hotel, but their food is good to excellent and we can leave the youngest children with a baby sitter–total bliss.